When's the baby born?

angelica

Scubascott wrote:

Its just that the tone of a few of the posts that I've seen on these boards in the past seems to suggest that some people are so eager to fight for a woman's right to choose that they're happy to gloss over the emotional and physical realities of the procedure. Maybe it really is less traumatic than I imagine it would be.

According to the message boards on "afterabortion.com" abortion is very traumatic for many women. Granted, there are those for whom it is not traumatic. And yet that cannot minimize the immense pain some of these women and men are feeling post abortion. Understandably, their "real" message board is blocked from those merely seeking information, but they have a guest board. These women are naming, memorializing and mourning their "babies" that have been aborted. Some post the baby's name, with a poem, and words like "I miss you, my baby".

"This procedure has been heartbreaking for me. I never expected so many tears and so much grief! I feel empty inside."

"Hi, I am a 30 year old mother of 3. When I found this site and read around a bit, it felt right. My abortion was in 1991, I was obviously very young at 15. I quickly went back to life as normal. It was not until the birth of my second son, that it pushed it's way to the surface. I have been to hell and back again over the past 5 years. I know I suffer from Pass.
I am an inlightend Christian, who feels very strongly that the only way I Can heal is through the grace and forgiveness of God. I have spent the last 5 years of my life full of shame, regret, and self hatered. All I have known to do is punish myself. It has been hard for to allow myself forgiveness, because I don't feel I deserve it, after what I did to my baby. It has only been very recently, that I came to the conclusion, my self hatered and punishment has served no purpose. Other then to prevent me from being totally available to my children and husband. I have to heal because I want to give them all of me, not a broken half. I know I cannot move forward with any purpose, without first healing what is behind me. I believe the only one who can open me up to even being willing to accept forgiveness and forgive myself is God. I respect those who do not share my faith, but at the same time, I need to be able to include it in my healing. Is this the right place for me to be able to do so?"

"I had an abortion a week yesterday at almost 6 weeks gestation. it was an aweful experience. I suffered terrible pain after and needed to be sedated. the Antibiotics they give you as a precaution, had terrible side effects on me, which prevented me from a quick recover. the Dr said to stop taking them after the 2nd day. A week later i have not bleed heavy, but have had brown discharge when going to the loo, but not filling a pad."

"My wife had a abortion about a month ago. Since then, even though I haven't been feeling the greatest, I've tried to hide my feelings.
I've thought to myself:
- it was the right thing to do;
- we still have other children'
- etc...
Although I've been lying to myself. I feel so unworthy, and like a ******. I just hope God can forgive us for this. I have so much regret for it, but I'm trying to be strong for the both of us because I have to work. I'm a bus driver, and I can't afford an accident, or time off.

These feelings just won't go away!"


I definitely understand those who are trying to neutralize the stigma and emotional drama surrounding abortion, in order to provide straightforward unbiased guidance and information. This is a subject that is horribly abused by those with agendas that are not about the woman in question. At the same time, removing information regarding potential trauma can be deceiving and contribute to further problems of lack of information.

CorporateWhore

hippiemom wrote:

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/gpr/09/3/gpr090308.html

I've heard that abortion hurts women psychologically and physically from the women themselves. From the horse's mouth, so to speak. Cohen has interviewed these women?

They don't feel bad because society disdains abortion. They feel bad because what was living is now dead. What depended on them in order to live no longer lives because they gave it up.

Women have a very instinctual bond with the fetus.

hippiemom

CorporateWhore wrote:

I've heard that abortion hurts women psychologically and physically from the women themselves. From the horse's mouth, so to speak. Cohen has interviewed these women?

They don't feel bad because society disdains abortion. They feel bad because what was living is now dead. What depended on them in order to live no longer lives because they gave it up.

Women have a very instinctual bond with the fetus.

Well now you've heard from one who doesn't feel psychologically or physically hurt.

I'm not denying that some women do feel bad, I'm sure they do, but I know for an absolute fact that not ALL do. Do you suppose that giving a child up for adoption causes no physical or psychological harm? That trying to raise a child that you didn't want and aren't prepared for causes no harm?

As I said before, there are no real good options when dealing with an unwanted pregnancy. All have the potential to cause harm. Each woman needs to weigh the pros and cons and do what will be best for her in her own unique situation.

And please, stop telling me about the nature of women.

cornnifer

so far in this particular abortion thread, i have read arguments in favor of the practice stating:

1. Life is hard.

2. Humans are of no higher ontological status than lizards or birds.

Fucking insane!

As an aside, i also find it funny how some here support a "pro-choice" stance, yet swear that there is no such thing as free-will (choice)! If you do not believe humans actually make choices, how can you be "PRO-choice"? Funny stuff.

cornnifer

Whoops, i almost forgot fascinating argument number three.

3. Some people are less intelligent than others.

ROTFL!

CorporateWhore

hippiemom wrote:

Well now you've heard from one who doesn't feel psychologically or physically hurt.

I'm not denying that some women do feel bad, I'm sure they do, but I know for an absolute fact that not ALL do. Do you suppose that giving a child up for adoption causes no physical or psychological harm? That trying to raise a child that you didn't want and aren't prepared for causes no harm?

As I said before, there are no real good options when dealing with an unwanted pregnancy. All have the potential to cause harm. Each woman needs to weigh the pros and cons and do what will be best for her in her own unique situation.

And please, stop telling me about the nature of women.

All I know about women I've heard from women.

It's just too bad abortion happens at all.

hippiemom

CorporateWhore wrote:

All I know about women I've heard from women.

It's just too bad abortion happens at all.

And all I know about women is what I've heard from women, combined with actually being a woman, so it's a little ridiculous for a man to tell me what women are like. And it's beyond ridiculous for a man to tell me how a pregnant woman feels, since pregnancy is not fully comprehensible to someone who has never been pregnant.

And I agree, it is a shame that it happens at all.

Ahnimus

hippiemom wrote:

And all I know about women is what I've heard from women, combined with actually being a woman, so it's a little ridiculous for a man to tell me what women are like. And it's beyond ridiculous for a man to tell me how a pregnant woman feels, since pregnancy is not fully comprehensible to someone who has never been pregnant.

And I agree, it is a shame that it happens at all.

I would imagine being pregnant is like carrying around a big bowling ball 24/7 for 9 months. Some sympathy classes have men do just that.

I don't need to imagine this, giving birth is similar to passing stones. Learned that from a nurse that has done both. Except she said passing the stones was far more painful.

hippiemom

Ahnimus wrote:

I would imagine being pregnant is like carrying around a big bowling ball 24/7 for 9 months. Some sympathy classes have men do just that.

I don't need to imagine this, giving birth is similar to passing stones. Learned that from a nurse that has done both. Except she said passing the stones was far more painful.

The bowling ball is just one small part of it. The pain of birth is another small part. You're just going to have to trust me when I say that it's one of those things that can't be fully understood unless you've experienced it. I'll take that statement back if a mom shows up here and says that her pregnancy was exactly what she imagined it would be like, but I don't think that's going to happen. I have never heard anyone say that. Certain aspects of it may be comparable to other things, but the experience as a whole is like nothing else.

Ahnimus

hippiemom wrote:

The bowling ball is just one small part of it. The pain of birth is another small part. You're just going to have to trust me when I say that it's one of those things that can't be fully understood unless you've experienced it. I'll take that statement back if a mom shows up here and says that her pregnancy was exactly what she imagined it would be like, but I don't think that's going to happen. I have never heard anyone say that. Certain aspects of it may be comparable to other things, but the experience as a whole is like nothing else.

Well, then I wouldn't except anyone to understand you, if you simply assume they can't.

Ahnimus

Ahnimus wrote:

Well, then I wouldn't except anyone to understand you, if you simply assume they can't.

Additionally, when you are pregnant and you are bitchy and untrusting. Don't expect to understand what your husband is going through.

Men don't react very well, psycho-physiologically to that situation. In a general sense.

hippiemom

Ahnimus wrote:

Additionally, when you are pregnant and you are bitchy and untrusting. Don't expect to understand what your husband is going through.

Men don't react very well, psycho-physiologically to that situation. In a general sense.

Heehee I won't argue with that! Well, maybe the "untrusting" part, I'm not sure where that comes from, but the bitchy part was definitely real. You'd be bitchy too if you had to haul a bowling ball around 24-7!

Ahnimus

hippiemom wrote:

Heehee I won't argue with that! Well, maybe the "untrusting" part, I'm not sure where that comes from, but the bitchy part was definitely real. You'd be bitchy too if you had to haul a bowling ball around 24-7!

I know I would, and I would probably take it out on my husband, rather than my friends or random aquantances.

Ahnimus

I was talking to my ex-gf a few weeks ago, and she is about 7 months pregnant. I was saying some really targetted statments, like really digging into her personality and she seemed to take it very well. She admitted to me that she has learned a lot about herself. But, I can guarantee when she's alone with her husband, she's not so nice. :cool:

hippiemom

Ahnimus wrote:

I know I would, and I would probably take it out on my husband, rather than my friends or random aquantances.

One of my best friends was pregnant the same time as me ... both times, 8 years apart, what are the odds? ... so we took it out on each other. Probably saved my marriage, lol.

Ahnimus

hippiemom wrote:

One of my best friends was pregnant the same time as me ... both times, 8 years apart, what are the odds? ... so we took it out on each other. Probably saved my marriage, lol.

That's a good idea. Then you and your friend can stay in one house and your husbands in the other.

hippiemom

Ahnimus wrote:

I was talking to my ex-gf a few weeks ago, and she is about 7 months pregnant. I was saying some really targetted statments, like really digging into her personality and she seemed to take it very well. She admitted to me that she has learned a lot about herself. But, I can guarantee when she's alone with her husband, she's not so nice. :cool:

Not everyone gets bitchy. My step-sister was on cloud nine the entire time, with both of her kids. Her husband said he wishes she could be pregnant forever because she was so much nicer, but they can't afford that many kids.

Me, I was a bitch on wheels. I stayed away from people as much as I could so that I'd have some friends left when it was all over.

Ahnimus

hippiemom wrote:

Not everyone gets bitchy. My step-sister was on cloud nine the entire time, with both of her kids. Her husband said he wishes she could be pregnant forever because she was so much nicer, but they can't afford that many kids.

Me, I was a bitch on wheels. I stayed away from people as much as I could so that I'd have some friends left when it was all over.

Maybe your right, my ex-gf is naturally a bitchy person, maybe all she needed was to get knocked up. She swore to me she would have an abortion if she ever got pregnant. Apparently she was wrong.

cornnifer

Ahnimus wrote:

I would imagine being pregnant is like carrying around a big bowling ball 24/7 for 9 months. Some sympathy classes have men do just that.

.

A bowling ball for nine months? Maybe the last month or so.
For the first few months its just a Maggot.

Ahnimus

cornnifer wrote:

A bowling ball for nine months? Maybe the last month or so.
For the first few months its just a Maggot.

Well, the egg becomes a baby quite rapidly, not 9 months exactly. The majority of the size is grown within the first 25 weeks. (Moore & Persaud, 1993)

http://www.cerebralpalsychildren.com/CP1.jpg