i know you've had some hard knocks here and get emotional on this topic. i do the same when people say addicts are just weak. you got shafted and im sorry for that. but the fact is, by sheer staggering weight of numbers, men in america dont own up for their kids. ive been in jail. everyone was either in for drunkenness or not paying child support. the latter guys didnt seem to care, had the money, and simply didnt feel like they had any obligation to the kid.
turning your argument on its head... women cant have a kid without a partner. maybe the men should stop sticking their dicks in women if they dont want a child.
I have to admit that most of my experience is with divorced fathers who want more access and custody. They continually go to court to be more involved, the exact opposite of what you describe.
As to your second point maybe women should give custody of the child over to the father at birth. Have a birth certificate law where a mother has to name the father on the birth certificate, if sh'es not sure dan testing is done. Then at birth custody of the child is handed over.
“One good thing about music,
when it hits you, you feel to pain.
So brutalize me with music.”
~ Bob Marley
You are a fool if you do not think it is better to raise a child in a two-parent household than a one parent household. Marriage used to be a good guarantee of a two-parent household, but now over 50% of the time the marraige is a sham and ends in divorce. So, maybe 30 years ago it would be pathetic that so many single women are having babies, but today, it doesn't really matter because more often than not the relationship would just end in divorce.
I don't want to pay for a single mother's childcare though. So if you don't have the means to care for the child with your own funds, don't have one. You have a choice...
In my eyes that's extremely selfish and uncaring and that's why I think it's pathetic.
i think its selfish and uncaring that under the laws of your religion a murdering rapist can go to heaven but his victim wont.
thats more pathetic than a 20-something woman having a child out of wedlock...
obviously i dont want to detract the thread... but my point is there a lot more pathetic things to get your knickers in a twist over
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
I'm am pro-sticking it to the mom even harder though.
the "people need to be more responsible about sex" side. 9 times outta 10, this side is actually saying by the policies they suggest "women need to stop being so slutty and thinking they're allowed to enjoy sex like men do."
I was saying that you are the Pot calling me (the kettle) black.
i know this... do you ever make a joke?
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
I have to admit that most of my experience is with divorced fathers who want more access and custody. They continually go to court to be more involved, the exact opposite of what you describe.
As to your second point maybe women should give custody of the child over to the father at birth. Have a birth certificate law where a mother has to name the father on the birth certificate, if sh'es not sure dan testing is done. Then at birth custody of the child is handed over.
im ok with that. it's a sticky issue. but as i said, my problem is that the people i see advocating responsibility only have plans for forcing women to be accountable and dont seem to give a damn one way or the other what the men do.
the "people need to be more responsible about sex" side. 9 times outta 10, this side is actually saying by the policies they suggest "women need to stop being so slutty and thinking they're allowed to enjoy sex like men do."
For me it's about the men and women. I hold both equally responsible.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
the latter guys didnt seem to care, had the money, and simply didnt feel like they had any obligation to the kid.
maybe the men should stop sticking their dicks in women if they dont want a child.
Wait a second.. that's such a double standard.. Should the men be obligated to pay for a child they didn't want to have in the first place? What if the man wants the child and the woman has an abortion? What if the woman decides to have the kid and he wants her to have an abortion?
Maybe women should stop spreading their legs for men if they don't want a child.
It's pathetic to show compassion? The victim can go to heaven as well, but it is their choice.
you're not showing compassion though.. you're showing disgust, repugnance, et al... but not compassion
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
Oh dear. Another American article detailing the importance of marriage. What difference does a piece of paper and a ring make? That doesn't automatically mean that a child will be more loved or looked after. Sometimes marriage works (speaking as a child of parents married for nearly 24 years), and sometimes it doesn't.
Every time I hear a US journalist, politician, pundit or religious leader going on about marriage being of such magnitude, I laugh, because it's coming from a country with the second highest divorce rate in the world.
you're not showing compassion though.. you're showing disgust, repugnance, et al... but not compassion
It's not disgust or repugnance to think this is pathetic. Look - I volunteer at a distribution center that gives household items and food to poor people - of which a disproportionately large percentage are single parents. I can show compassion and still feel that it's pathetic, selfish and uncaring to have kids outside of wedlock. I see the kids that come through there and it really is pathetic.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
Oh dear. Another American article detailing the importance of marriage. What difference does a piece of paper and a ring make? That doesn't automatically mean that a child will be more loved or looked after. Sometimes marriage works (speaking as a child of parents married for nearly 24 years), and sometimes it doesn't.
Every time I hear a US journalist, politician, pundit or religious leader going on about marriage being of such magnitude, I laugh, because it's coming from a country with the second highest divorce rate in the world.
Marriage is not a guarantee, but most people agree the chances are that the kids will have two parents at home is just a bit higher at least.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
You don't seem to be very open to letting me live thinking that this is pathetic.
what the fuck????
you start a thread calling people having children out of wedlock pathetic?
can i not defend the very people you are calling pathetic... seeing as how i have a family member who is a very very good single parent... people get along and some people find out after 3 years they dont.... marriage magicaly make people stay together under some draconian spell... if people are married or not, and they end up not getting on then they'll split!
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
Marriage is not a guarantee, but most people agree the chances are that the kids will have two parents at home is just a bit higher at least.
you'' find that most of those 'most people' are aged 40-50, married, go to church, wear beige clothes and always have sex under the duvet with the light out.
I'm with the minority in this instance... thankfully
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
you'' find that most of those 'most people' are aged 40-50, married, go to church, wear beige clothes and always have sex under the duvet with the light out.
I'm with the minority in this instance... thankfully
you start a thread calling people having children out of wedlock pathetic?
can i not defend the very people you are calling pathetic... seeing as how i have a family member who is a very very good single parent... people get along and some people find out after 3 years they dont.... marriage magicaly make people stay together under some draconian spell... if people are married or not, and they end up not getting on then they'll split!
Try to stay on point, will you? The comment of mine you were quoting here was in reference to you trying to claim you are not being a hypocrite. You said that you think people should live as they want to, yet you have a big problem with me thinking that it's pathetic to have children out of wedlock. In other words, you're only OK with letting people live like they want to if they agree with your viewpoints.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
you'' find that most of those 'most people' are aged 40-50, married, go to church, wear beige clothes and always have sex under the duvet with the light out.
I'm with the minority in this instance... thankfully
I find that my brother who has children out of wedlock and who is none of those things you describe except that he goes to church, would agree with me wholeheartedly.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
i gotta side with the liberal's on this one.when my girl friend got pregnent we were only young and her folk's made us get married.but we wernet happy and in the end i got a divorce. I think it make's it more profound when a kid gets born into wedlock, but still if u aint happy then it aint the end of the world.i still love my boy no matter what,and his mom love him too. BUt if i went back in time we'd never gone got married. And it cost me a bomb too.
I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be livin here today.
‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.
And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
merely by asking that question puts you in the category i mentioned above
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
merely by asking that question puts you in the category i mentioned above
I'm only 30, don't go to church, will have sex wherever and whenever I can get it (responsibly of course) and I only discovered what a duvet was about 3 years ago...but I do wear a bunch of beige...especially during the work week.
i gotta side with the liberal's on this one.when my girl friend got pregnent we were only young and her folk's made us get married.but we wernet happy and in the end i got a divorce. I think it make's it more profound when a kid gets born into wedlock, but still if u aint happy then it aint the end of the world.i still love my boy no matter what,and his mom love him too. BUt if i went back in time we'd never gone got married. And it cost me a bomb too.
See - this is what I'm talking about. You say that if you went back in time, you would have never gotten married.
Yet - what you should probably say is that if you went back in time you should have not conceived a child at that time.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
I think this is pathetic. Are people really this self-centered? And please do not tell me that abortion is the good alternative, because that isn't working either.
oh my goodness...this is terrible...!!
I wonder, what's is you solution...? how do we "fix" this so-called problem..?
I would like to know how the hispanic numbers may have skewed the final numbers...also, I wonder if some, like me, are happy living with another, and do see the need for a marriage certificate...
Also, I see this focus on unwed mothers as another way to legislate morality, because we all know, "sex is bad, mmmmkay"...
I wonder, what's is you solution...? how do we "fix" this so-called problem..?
I would like to know how the hispanic numbers may have skewed the final numbers...also, I wonder if some, like me, are happy living with another, and do see the need for a marriage certificate...
Also, I see this focus on unwed mothers as another way to legislate morality, because we all know, "sex is bad, mmmmkay"...
Sex isn't necessarily bad, but getting pregnant (or getting someone pregnant) when you're not ready for it is bad.
I don't know how to stop it or even slow it down. I do have some ideas that involve welfare and other enabling or even encouraging of this behavior, but I'm sure those would get blasted as being uncaring.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
Try to stay on point, will you? The comment of mine you were quoting here was in reference to you trying to claim you are not being a hypocrite. You said that you think people should live as they want to, yet you have a big problem with me thinking that it's pathetic to have children out of wedlock. In other words, you're only OK with letting people live like they want to if they agree with your viewpoints.
you think people having kids out of wedlock makes them pathetic..
i think you should let people live as they want... ergo i'm going to argue with you as you arent allowing them, by your comments, to live as they want! its not that i'm not letting you live as you want, its that you are hindering my ideal of everyone living as they choose!
and i am letting you live as you want.. i'm not attempting to stop you commenting... i just dont agree with you calling these people pathetic!!
I think jewish people should live as they want.. whereas you think they are onto the wrong thing with their beliefs.. same goes for hinduism, buddhism, catholicism and plagiarism.. i couldnt give a toss... but you'd love to have these people live as you want.
thats hypocrisy
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
you think people having kids out of wedlock makes them pathetic..
i think you should let people live as they want... ergo i'm going to argue with you as you arent allowing them, by your comments, to live as they want! its not that i'm not letting you live as you want, its that you are hindering my ideal of everyone living as they choose!
and i am letting you live as you want.. i'm not attempting to stop you commenting... i just dont agree with you calling these people pathetic!!
I think jewish people should live as they want.. whereas you think they are onto the wrong thing with their beliefs.. same goes for hinduism, buddhism, catholicism and plagiarism.. i couldnt give a toss... but you'd love to have these people live as you want.
thats hypocrisy
Nope you can't read or comprehend. I didn't say the people were pathetic, I said the action was pathetic. And I stand by that.
How is you not agreeing with me any different than me not agreeing with their actions?
You know nothing of my beliefs regarding religion. I think that for THEIR SAKE people of other faiths should convert, but that doesn't mean that I want them to live my way for any personal reason on my part.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
Comments
As to your second point maybe women should give custody of the child over to the father at birth. Have a birth certificate law where a mother has to name the father on the birth certificate, if sh'es not sure dan testing is done. Then at birth custody of the child is handed over.
when it hits you, you feel to pain.
So brutalize me with music.”
~ Bob Marley
I was saying that you are the Pot calling me (the kettle) black.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
I don't want to pay for a single mother's childcare though. So if you don't have the means to care for the child with your own funds, don't have one. You have a choice...
i think its selfish and uncaring that under the laws of your religion a murdering rapist can go to heaven but his victim wont.
thats more pathetic than a 20-something woman having a child out of wedlock...
obviously i dont want to detract the thread... but my point is there a lot more pathetic things to get your knickers in a twist over
the "people need to be more responsible about sex" side. 9 times outta 10, this side is actually saying by the policies they suggest "women need to stop being so slutty and thinking they're allowed to enjoy sex like men do."
i know this... do you ever make a joke?
It's pathetic to show compassion? The victim can go to heaven as well, but it is their choice.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
im ok with that. it's a sticky issue. but as i said, my problem is that the people i see advocating responsibility only have plans for forcing women to be accountable and dont seem to give a damn one way or the other what the men do.
For me it's about the men and women. I hold both equally responsible.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
Wait a second.. that's such a double standard.. Should the men be obligated to pay for a child they didn't want to have in the first place? What if the man wants the child and the woman has an abortion? What if the woman decides to have the kid and he wants her to have an abortion?
Maybe women should stop spreading their legs for men if they don't want a child.
you're not showing compassion though.. you're showing disgust, repugnance, et al... but not compassion
Every time I hear a US journalist, politician, pundit or religious leader going on about marriage being of such magnitude, I laugh, because it's coming from a country with the second highest divorce rate in the world.
It's not disgust or repugnance to think this is pathetic. Look - I volunteer at a distribution center that gives household items and food to poor people - of which a disproportionately large percentage are single parents. I can show compassion and still feel that it's pathetic, selfish and uncaring to have kids outside of wedlock. I see the kids that come through there and it really is pathetic.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
Marriage is not a guarantee, but most people agree the chances are that the kids will have two parents at home is just a bit higher at least.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
what the fuck????
you start a thread calling people having children out of wedlock pathetic?
can i not defend the very people you are calling pathetic... seeing as how i have a family member who is a very very good single parent... people get along and some people find out after 3 years they dont.... marriage magicaly make people stay together under some draconian spell... if people are married or not, and they end up not getting on then they'll split!
Careful, this kind of common sense will get you blasted around these parts.
you'' find that most of those 'most people' are aged 40-50, married, go to church, wear beige clothes and always have sex under the duvet with the light out.
I'm with the minority in this instance... thankfully
What's wrong with beige?
Try to stay on point, will you? The comment of mine you were quoting here was in reference to you trying to claim you are not being a hypocrite. You said that you think people should live as they want to, yet you have a big problem with me thinking that it's pathetic to have children out of wedlock. In other words, you're only OK with letting people live like they want to if they agree with your viewpoints.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
I find that my brother who has children out of wedlock and who is none of those things you describe except that he goes to church, would agree with me wholeheartedly.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
Well that wouldn't be the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last.
to be livin here today.
‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.
And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
merely by asking that question puts you in the category i mentioned above
I'm only 30, don't go to church, will have sex wherever and whenever I can get it (responsibly of course) and I only discovered what a duvet was about 3 years ago...but I do wear a bunch of beige...especially during the work week.
See - this is what I'm talking about. You say that if you went back in time, you would have never gotten married.
Yet - what you should probably say is that if you went back in time you should have not conceived a child at that time.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
oh my goodness...this is terrible...!!
I wonder, what's is you solution...? how do we "fix" this so-called problem..?
I would like to know how the hispanic numbers may have skewed the final numbers...also, I wonder if some, like me, are happy living with another, and do see the need for a marriage certificate...
Also, I see this focus on unwed mothers as another way to legislate morality, because we all know, "sex is bad, mmmmkay"...
Sex isn't necessarily bad, but getting pregnant (or getting someone pregnant) when you're not ready for it is bad.
I don't know how to stop it or even slow it down. I do have some ideas that involve welfare and other enabling or even encouraging of this behavior, but I'm sure those would get blasted as being uncaring.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
you think people having kids out of wedlock makes them pathetic..
i think you should let people live as they want... ergo i'm going to argue with you as you arent allowing them, by your comments, to live as they want! its not that i'm not letting you live as you want, its that you are hindering my ideal of everyone living as they choose!
and i am letting you live as you want.. i'm not attempting to stop you commenting... i just dont agree with you calling these people pathetic!!
I think jewish people should live as they want.. whereas you think they are onto the wrong thing with their beliefs.. same goes for hinduism, buddhism, catholicism and plagiarism.. i couldnt give a toss... but you'd love to have these people live as you want.
thats hypocrisy
then they wouldnt have a beautiful child... a child who appears to be getting lots of love and nurture...
what you should 'probably' do is save the preaching for http://www.convertordie.org
Nope you can't read or comprehend. I didn't say the people were pathetic, I said the action was pathetic. And I stand by that.
How is you not agreeing with me any different than me not agreeing with their actions?
You know nothing of my beliefs regarding religion. I think that for THEIR SAKE people of other faiths should convert, but that doesn't mean that I want them to live my way for any personal reason on my part.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.