Out of wedlock births hit new high in US

know1know1 Posts: 6,794
edited November 2006 in A Moving Train
http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/11/21/unmarried.births.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

I think this is pathetic. Are people really this self-centered? And please do not tell me that abortion is the good alternative, because that isn't working either.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.

Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
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Comments

  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    who gives a fuck if they are unmarried..? i work with a guy who's lived with his 'wife' for over 40 years... i found out 2 weeks ago they have never married!! they have 2 kids and are perfectly happy!

    what difference does it make if they are married or not?
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • know1 wrote:
    http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/11/21/unmarried.births.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

    I think this is pathetic. Are people really this self-centered? And please do not tell me that abortion is the good alternative, because that isn't working either.
    can you clarify what's pathetic?
  • Uncle LeoUncle Leo Posts: 1,059
    The Cleavers are dead. You don't have to like it but you may as well get used to it.
    I cannot come up with a new sig till I get this egg off my face.
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,447
    " the teen birth rate actually dropped last year to the lowest level on record."

    Could this have anything to do with a rise in abortions??????

    I could care less if a baby is born out of wedlock....so long as the people who have the baby are responsible parents. It's not a marriage license that makes people good parents.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,447
    On another note..it bothers me when CNN says "4 out of 10 babies are born to SINGLE MOMS"....

    That's bullshit...4 out of 10 babies are born to single MOMS & DADS!!!!
    hippiemom = goodness
  • Can anyone tell me what Know1 was talking about when they said it's pathetic? Seriously though, did I read the article too fast and miss something?
  • Staceb10Staceb10 Posts: 675
    On another note..it bothers me when CNN says "4 out of 10 babies are born to SINGLE MOMS"....

    That's bullshit...4 out of 10 babies are born to single MOMS & DADS!!!!


    Great point. When it comes to babies the men are never mentioned unless they are "deadbeat dads". I wonder how many men that are considered that didn't actually want to be fathers but the woman "chose" to make him one.
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    "The overall rise reflects the burgeoning number of people who are putting off marriage or living together without getting married."

    Out of wedlock, doesn't mean out of a relationship! Having signed a bit of paper in front of someone, doesn't make your 'unit' any better than one that hasn't.
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,447
    Can anyone tell me what Know1 was talking about when they said it's pathetic? Seriously though, did I read the article too fast and miss something?


    He's for people being married before bring children into the world...

    It is better for a child to have 2 loving parents growing up...I know marriage doesn't guarantee that and not being married doesn;t mean it's not true...but I think Know1 thinks that...I could be wrong.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • Seriously, who cares if they are married or not, what difference does that make?
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    Dusseldorf 21/06/07, Manchester 17/08/09, London 18/08/09, LA 06/10/09, LA 07/10/09.

    Ain't gonna be any middle anymore.
  • He's for people being married before bring children into the world...

    It is better for a child to have 2 loving parents growing up...I know marriage doesn't guarantee that and not being married doesn;t mean it's not true...but I think Know1 thinks that...I could be wrong.


    Oh. thanks
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    The only thing that bothered me in the article was the large number of c-sections being done. It's clearly healthier on the mother and baby to deliver naturally than to choose major surgery. Other than that, I'm not bothered at all as to the number of births out-of-wedlock. Researchers don't have much else to do, it seems.
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    On another note..it bothers me when CNN says "4 out of 10 babies are born to SINGLE MOMS"....

    That's bullshit...4 out of 10 babies are born to single MOMS & DADS!!!!

    it's not bullshit cos in most cases the "dad" skips town and leaves the mom high and dry and completely on her own.
  • know1know1 Posts: 6,794
    I think it's pathetic because I think for the children's sake people should be in committed, lifelong relationships. I know that this statistic doesn't necessarily mean that the people having kids aren't in those types of relationships, but I'd say the chances are greater.

    I think not having 2 stable parents living in the same house as a family unit is what is doing a lot of harm to children in this country.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • cornnifercornnifer Posts: 2,130
    Can anyone tell me what Know1 was talking about when they said it's pathetic? Seriously though, did I read the article too fast and miss something?

    i won't use the word pathetic, but, i will say its very sad. It definitely shows a severe breakdown in the family. Its not a slag on single mothers to say that it is simply common sense to say that a child is far better off in life with a two loving parents, and that is best accomplished and served through a marital situation. Someone mentioned a couple of 40 years with 2 kids, but never officially married. Its very safe to say that that is by far the exception and certainly not the rule. Besides, that couple is, technically, married by common law.
    "When all your friends and sedatives mean well but make it worse... better find yourself a place to level out."
  • know1know1 Posts: 6,794
    He's for people being married before bring children into the world...

    It is better for a child to have 2 loving parents growing up...I know marriage doesn't guarantee that and not being married doesn;t mean it's not true...but I think Know1 thinks that...I could be wrong.

    Yep. Thanks.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • surferdudesurferdude Posts: 2,057
    it's not bullshit cos in most cases the "dad" skips town and leaves the mom high and dry and completely on her own.
    That's so much bullshit. Stop pretending you're in class and you have to defend a ridiculous proposition.

    The only disgusting thing about this birth rate is the number of women who purposefully have children without a partner. That shows such narcisim it's outrageous.
    “One good thing about music,
    when it hits you, you feel to pain.
    So brutalize me with music.”
    ~ Bob Marley
  • cornnifercornnifer Posts: 2,130
    redrock wrote:
    "The overall rise reflects the burgeoning number of people who are putting off marriage or living together without getting married."

    Out of wedlock, doesn't mean out of a relationship! Having signed a bit of paper in front of someone, doesn't make your 'unit' any better than one that hasn't.

    It does, however, demonstrate a level of commitment that doesn't NORMALLY exist within the context of a "shacking up" situation.
    "When all your friends and sedatives mean well but make it worse... better find yourself a place to level out."
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,447
    it's not bullshit cos in most cases the "dad" skips town and leaves the mom high and dry and completely on her own.


    Maybe if we stop calling them nly single moms then the crappy dads would start to actually think they have responsibility for their child.

    I think it's part of the problem...we have chosen to give the women 100% of the rights in regards to fetus and custody of babies in many cases...we have CHOSEN to take men out of the equation...

    No wonder so many jerks run away...

    Don;t think I'm excusing it, I just think we need to do a complete shift.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    know1 wrote:
    I think it's pathetic because I think for the children's sake people should be in committed, lifelong relationships. I know that this statistic doesn't necessarily mean that the people having kids aren't in those types of relationships, but I'd say the chances are greater.

    I think not having 2 stable parents living in the same house as a family unit is what is doing a lot of harm to children in this country.


    its even more pathetic that morally high and mighty people like yourself view these people as pathetic!!

    there are lots more problems in the world today that need looked at other than scurrilous viewpoints of people on here...

    do you know that these 4 in 10 people arent living in a perfectly stable relationship but maybe arent married?

    most marriages are probably more damaging to a kid these days anyway as when parents fight and argue then they do it front of the kids... its hard to argue with yourself in front of your kids... also most people in marriages probably try and make it "work" when it becomes dysfunctional...


    high and fucking mighty attitudes suck...


    p.s. what if the parents were of same sex, but were married? what would be your moralistic stand on that scenario!?
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    Maybe if we stop calling them nly single moms then the crappy dads would start to actually think they have responsibility for their child.

    I think it's part of the problem...we have chosen to give the women 100% of the rights in regards to fetus and custody of babies in many cases...we have CHOSEN to take men out of the equation...

    No wonder so many jerks run away...

    Don;t think I'm excusing it, I just think we need to do a complete shift.

    im ok with a complete shift, but the only shift i ever see your side talking about it sticking it to the mom even harder.
  • know1know1 Posts: 6,794
    it's not bullshit cos in most cases the "dad" skips town and leaves the mom high and dry and completely on her own.

    Maybe so, but in my brother's case it was exactly the opposite... He's raised his daughter for 8 years on his own. I have experience with this and I still think it's pathetic. I love him and respect him for the sacrifices he's made, but he CHOSE to make those sacrifices when he chose to have sex. And I still wish for the child's sake that she had the 2 stable, MARRIED parents.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,447
    most marriages are probably more damaging to a kid these days anyway as when parents fight and argue then they do it front of the kids... its hard to argue with yourself in front of your kids... also most people in marriages probably try and make it "work" when it becomes dysfunctional...


    high and fucking mighty attitudes suck...

    Including your high and mighty attitude...

    Most marriages are probably more damaging...you have to be kidding me!!! If you stop and think for a second you will see just how stupid that sounds...guess what? People that aren't married can have fights with their sig other or boyfriend/girlfriend of the year/month/week/day too!!!!!
    hippiemom = goodness
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    surferdude wrote:
    That's so much bullshit. Stop pretending you're in class and you have to defend a ridiculous proposition.

    The only disgusting thing about this birth rate is the number of women who purposefully have children without a partner. That shows such narcisim it's outrageous.

    i know you've had some hard knocks here and get emotional on this topic. i do the same when people say addicts are just weak. you got shafted and im sorry for that. but the fact is, by sheer staggering weight of numbers, men in america dont own up for their kids. ive been in jail. everyone was either in for drunkenness or not paying child support. the latter guys didnt seem to care, had the money, and simply didnt feel like they had any obligation to the kid.

    turning your argument on its head... women cant have a kid without a partner. maybe the men should stop sticking their dicks in women if they dont want a child.
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,447
    im ok with a complete shift, but the only shift i ever see your side talking about it sticking it to the mom even harder.

    My side?

    I'm am pro-sticking it to the mom even harder though. ;)
    hippiemom = goodness
  • know1know1 Posts: 6,794
    its even more pathetic that morally high and mighty people like yourself view these people as pathetic!!

    there are lots more problems in the world today that need looked at other than scurrilous viewpoints of people on here...

    do you know that these 4 in 10 people arent living in a perfectly stable relationship but maybe arent married?

    most marriages are probably more damaging to a kid these days anyway as when parents fight and argue then they do it front of the kids... its hard to argue with yourself in front of your kids... also most people in marriages probably try and make it "work" when it becomes dysfunctional...


    high and fucking mighty attitudes suck...


    p.s. what if the parents were of same sex, but were married? what would be your moralistic stand on that scenario!?

    Hello Mr. Pot.

    As said, this particular data doesn't specifically imply they are not living together, but we all know there is plenty of data out there that shows that it's true.

    I have a lot of firsthand experience on this topic and from that my opinion is that it is much better for the children to have two loving parents living in the same home as a family unit than otherwise. It's pathetic in my eyes because these people are letting their lust and failure to prepare get in the way of providing the best possible scenario for their children. In my eyes that's extremely selfish and uncaring and that's why I think it's pathetic.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    Including your high and mighty attitude...

    Most marriages are probably more damaging...you have to be kidding me!!! If you stop and think for a second you will see just how stupid that sounds...guess what? People that aren't married can have fights with their sig other or boyfriend/girlfriend of the year/month/week/day too!!!!!

    my high and mighty attitude is to let people live as they wish to live and dont fucking involve me church nonsense about being out of wedlock... fuck me.. is this colonnial Williamsburg.. are we going out witch-hunting later?


    ok.. the marriage thing was meant more in sarcasm but i see it didnt work... i'm just saying that i know people who have been single parents and their kids are beautiful human beings... i also know people who have been in marriages that are shit and they argued all the time and their kids are little fuckers...

    dont tar all people with the same brush basically... but one thing i'm not doing is saying that people who have children out of wedlock is pathetic!!! that statement is just moronic and downright archaic
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • know1know1 Posts: 6,794
    my high and mighty attitude is to let people live as they wish to live and dont fucking involve me church nonsense about being out of wedlock...

    You don't seem to be very open to letting me live thinking that this is pathetic.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    cornnifer wrote:
    It does, however, demonstrate a level of commitment that doesn't NORMALLY exist within the context of a "shacking up" situation.

    Not necessarily... just have to look at divorce rates! What kind of level of commitment is it when you get married and then divorced 6 months, a year or two later? 'Shaking up' is not a commitment - that's just sharing the rent. Couples who have thought things through will have the same level of commitment, whether married or not... Speaking of being married... which ceremony is to be recognised? Not all marriage ceremonies (and therefore public commitments) are recognised.. so what do you do??

    And from the point of view... a child born 'out of wedlock', for statistical purposes, is considered born to 'single' mothers, as you know who the mother is.... Obviously, this changes when the birth is registered and you have both parents names but by then, statistics have already counted the child!
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    know1 wrote:
    Hello Mr. Pot.


    Pol? Cambodia isn't near Scotland...


    American Geography... the best oxymoron there is
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
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