I never felt strongly either way about abortion..

Pearl Jam and toast

know1 wrote:

I'll get blasted for this big time, but MY morality is that if getting pregnant was such a big deal that it would ruin both of your lives, you shouldn't have been having sex.

That's the most naive fucking thing i've ever heard in my life.

You can't fucking tell teenagers raging with hormones and curiousity not to have sex - btw how's that abstinance only health class system working out for you conservatives what with the rising levels of teenage pregnancy?

Pearl Jam and toast

Adoption is a last resort...

I really feel uncomfortable doing that, given that I'm not terribly informed on it,... My impression is that it's not great for the kid though. And in any case it's discomforting all around,... still a better choice than raising a child in our case.

soulsinging

Pearl Jam and toast wrote:

Adoption is a last resort...

I really feel uncomfortable doing that, given that I'm not terribly informed on it,... My impression is that it's not great for the kid though. And in any case it's discomforting all around,... still a better choice than raising a child in our case.

howd the doctor visit go?

Pearl Jam and toast

soulsinging wrote:

howd the doctor visit go?

It hasn't yet..

calls being made.. research being done.. things being planned.

I'll bump this thread when we get a definite answer (if need be).


Oh and are you guys ready for this? Just to taper off the main subject a bit, I've got a bit of a Visions of Johanna complex going on here.. I think I may be in love with another girl, who I'm seeing now.. Just to make things even more fucked up,... At least there's one thing that's actually working out in my life right now.

soulsinging

that makes me wanna look up the lyrics to that song... i havent listened to it in ages

phone callS? why multiple? what research? call a clinic or a gynecologist and go. one phone call. you need to find out for sure if she's pregnant before anything else can be done.

Medicated-Genius

VictoryGin wrote:

i've been under the impression that while rare, false positives do exist--especially in the case of 'chemical pregnancy'.

misinterpretation, incorrect use of tests is a lot more likely though.

Whats a chemical pregnancy? I've never heard this term before. From what I understand, the human body has negligible amounts of hCG, but the tests are designed to detect above certain amounts. There are also some very rare forms of cancer that can elevate the levels of hCG. As for incorrect use of a pregnancy test........ they're not that hard, you piss on a stick, wait three minutes and bob's yer uncle, you have a result. Misinterpretation could be due to......... well I dunno what, a blue line is preggers, no blue line is not preggers. Maybe the false positive is simply due to wishful thinking?

Jeanie

Pearl Jam and toast wrote:

That's the most naive fucking thing i've ever heard in my life.

You can't fucking tell teenagers raging with hormones and curiousity not to have sex - btw how's that abstinance only health class system working out for you conservatives what with the rising levels of teenage pregnancy?

EXCELLENT response!!!:) I completely agree with you on this. And as for the adoption option, I only raise it as a good option if you are forced to continue the pregnancy because I think it would be infinitely better for the three of you than struggling along at such an early stage in your life. But really it's a personal choice which I'm sure you'll handle as compently as you have the situation so far. Much kudos to you.

soulsinging

Pearl Jam and toast wrote:

That's the most naive fucking thing i've ever heard in my life.

You can't fucking tell teenagers raging with hormones and curiousity not to have sex - btw how's that abstinance only health class system working out for you conservatives what with the rising levels of teenage pregnancy?

well, you can and it's probably sound advice, they're just not going to listen i didnt anyway, hehe.

moeaholic

know1 wrote:

I'll get blasted for this big time, but MY morality is that if getting pregnant was such a big deal that it would ruin both of your lives, you shouldn't have been having sex.

i have to kind of agree with this. there's other ways to have an orgasm than actual vaginal penetration. if you have to get your rocks off, why not oral, or mutual masturbation, especially if you know beforehand that pregnancy would be a horrible outcome?

i'm not trying to be an asshole and i'm sure know1 isn't either. it's not about what side of the aisle someone is on, it's about personal responsibility.

anyway, after all that, i hope things work out ok for you and your ex. pregnancy scares are.....well, scary no matter what age you are. i was 30 when my wife got pregnant with our second child, and those jitters came right back. hang in there and no matter what happens just remember, it's not the end of the world.

lalalalaaaaaaaa

Pearl Jam and toast wrote:

It hasn't yet..

calls being made.. research being done.. things being planned.

I'll bump this thread when we get a definite answer (if need be).


Oh and are you guys ready for this? Just to taper off the main subject a bit, I've got a bit of a Visions of Johanna complex going on here.. I think I may be in love with another girl, who I'm seeing now.. Just to make things even more fucked up,... At least there's one thing that's actually working out in my life right now.

Now I definitely think you should put it up for adoption if it can't be aborted.

VictoryGin

Medicated-Genius wrote:

Whats a chemical pregnancy? I've never heard this term before. From what I understand, the human body has negligible amounts of hCG, but the tests are designed to detect above certain amounts. There are also some very rare forms of cancer that can elevate the levels of hCG. As for incorrect use of a pregnancy test........ they're not that hard, you piss on a stick, wait three minutes and bob's yer uncle, you have a result. Misinterpretation could be due to......... well I dunno what, a blue line is preggers, no blue line is not preggers. Maybe the false positive is simply due to wishful thinking?

chemical pregnancy is when implantation occurs, hCG levels elevate, pregnancy test is positive, then another test comes out negative because in between the two there was was a very early miscarriage. i don't think a lot of people notice when that happens because it happens so quickly and it's usually people monitoring conception that see it.

some brands of otc tests are easier to misinterpret than you think.

cincybearcat

This thread makes me very sad.

nick1977

Pearl Jam and toast wrote:

Adoption is a last resort...

I really feel uncomfortable doing that, given that I'm not terribly informed on it,... My impression is that it's not great for the kid though. And in any case it's discomforting all around,... still a better choice than raising a child in our case.

Adoption is a great option in the right circumstances. There are many parents who cannot have children who would love to adopt. If you find a good adoptive home prior to birth, then they can perhaps help out with expenses, etc. The baby would then have a good, stable home to grow up in.If you are uninformed, start reading up.

Having said that, if the mother's life is truly in danger (something I would not trust until I heard the doctor say it), then no one can condem the two of you for deciding to abort the pregnancy.

But don't discount adoption because you are uninformed. You can have a hand at meeting with potential adoptive families.

I'm sorry you are faced with this decision.

Another thing....it sounds like her mother is unstable. Does she have other relatives she could turn to for help? What about your parents? While the decision is ultimately yours, adults are there for you. Turn to adults that you trust for help and advice. You two should not have to go through this alone.

Finally.....GET HER TO A DOCTOR ASAP! If she is pregnant, both of you need to know for sure......see the test for yourself.....have a doctor advise as to her health and the risks of giving birth. The two of you need to know these things.

Pearl Jam and toast

nick1977 wrote:

Adoption is a great option in the right circumstances. There are many parents who cannot have children who would love to adopt. If you find a good adoptive home prior to birth, then they can perhaps help out with expenses, etc. The baby would then have a good, stable home to grow up in.If you are uninformed, start reading up.

I'll be doing that, yes.

Another thing....it sounds like her mother is unstable.

Understatement of the year.

Does she have other relatives she could turn to for help? What about your parents? While the decision is ultimately yours, adults are there for you. Turn to adults that you trust for help and advice. You two should not have to go through this alone.

The closest actual (and by actual I mean trustworthy, kind people who aren't so racist that they ground their daughter for a few months for letting a harmless black fella and his white girlfriend in the house (true story..) ) are in Virginia. Not too far away but not a practical move at the moment as her mother still has custody.

Finally.....GET HER TO A DOCTOR ASAP! If she is pregnant, both of you need to know for sure......see the test for yourself.....have a doctor advise as to her health and the risks of giving birth. The two of you need to know these things.

Definetly.

Medicated-Genius

VictoryGin wrote:

chemical pregnancy is when implantation occurs, hCG levels elevate, pregnancy test is positive, then another test comes out negative because in between the two there was was a very early miscarriage. i don't think a lot of people notice when that happens because it happens so quickly and it's usually people monitoring conception that see it.

some brands of otc tests are easier to misinterpret than you think.

Interesting that it's referred to as a chemical pregancy. Sounds more like a pregnancy that's miscarried. I go the impression chemical pregnancy meant that some kind of medication or drug mimiced the effects of pregnancy and elevated hCG levels. Learn somethin new every day.

dan_vedder

Ed suports it an so do i....pro choice

searchlightsoul

Miscarriage is the bodies form of abortion so it is not like there is some innate right to life.

Pearl Jam and toast

After several weeks of getting more and more suspicious we find out that she lied about it. She'll never come out and say it but evidence piled up. It was an attempt to hurt me and get attention/sympathy from everyone else. Life is beautiful again. Thanks for all your help and support.

norm

Pearl Jam and toast wrote:

After several weeks of getting more and more suspicious we find out that she lied about it. She'll never come out and say it but evidence piled up. It was an attempt to hurt me and get attention/sympathy from everyone else. Life is beautiful again. Thanks for all your help and support.

Unbelievable. Some people have a lot of emotional issues. Glad to hear life is good again.:)

Jeanie

Pearl Jam and toast wrote:

After several weeks of getting more and more suspicious we find out that she lied about it. She'll never come out and say it but evidence piled up. It was an attempt to hurt me and get attention/sympathy from everyone else. Life is beautiful again. Thanks for all your help and support.

Phew! What a relief!! You must be pissed and relieved at the same time! And such a crappy time of year to be going through something like that. Hope everything comes up roses for you in the new year Pearl Jam & toast. Sorry that you had to go through something like that in the first place. Some girlies need to grow up! Good luck with everything!