PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

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Comments

  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,628
    There is no shame in being honest. 
    It's the best way

    only way. especially with ourselves.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 14,243
    I think with me  ( and I'm no expert I'm near 7 months in) 
    I got to a point I didn't want it anymore and even more so my body didn't, 3 weeks I was angry and annoyed but as the days turned into weeks I found new patterns (none that are anywhere near being buzzed or away from my shit) all quite mundane but gradually life shifts to a different angle , for now.
    I've not done any gigs or gone anywhere really yet. I did a cover band and it was weird watching all the people and how drink makes them. I didn't feel at ease yet. But I didn't want the drink. 
    That's just me I have a few other mental issues that being sober has made vivid and in my face sadly but that's part of me and I will either sink or swim. 
    Hugh be brave with whatever you choose and never worry about what anyone thinks/says. Only you and your beautiful family. 
    Big love mate
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 37,623
    Poncier said:
    And yes, my wife has pressured me to stop/moderate since we literally started dating. A few years ago she started going to alanon to help her deal with living a binger. She went for a while, got the support she needed at the time. I had a better handle on things after that. But the job change, as I mentioned, caused some chaos on this context. 
    This to me would be enough of a signal that something probably needs to change.
    If your wife thinks its a problem, it probably is and you are just not seeing it.
    But as others have said, you have to want to change it for it to be effective.
    You are oversimplifying a very complex issue. My wife can be a combination of very naive and also take things to the extreme. 

    She thought me smoking weed to watch a movie once every week or two was “becoming a problem”. 

    She thought getting fast food once in a while was “becoming a problem”. 

    My drinking habits only became a problem when her similar habits changed. 

    And yet, a month ago we had friends over, she got so loaded she fell down our fucking stairs in front of our teenagers, and that was funny/stupid but not a problem. 

    So forgive me if I don’t take my wife’s opinion as gospel over what is actually a problem. 
    "Oh Canada...you're beautiful when you're drunk"
    -EV  8/14/93




  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 37,623
    mickeyrat said:
    There is no shame in being honest. 
    It's the best way

    only way. especially with ourselves.
    You know what I meant. Getting judged by someone who obviously has only a small fraction of the picture but still chooses to judge. 
    "Oh Canada...you're beautiful when you're drunk"
    -EV  8/14/93




  • PoncierPoncier Posts: 17,212
    Poncier said:
    And yes, my wife has pressured me to stop/moderate since we literally started dating. A few years ago she started going to alanon to help her deal with living a binger. She went for a while, got the support she needed at the time. I had a better handle on things after that. But the job change, as I mentioned, caused some chaos on this context. 
    This to me would be enough of a signal that something probably needs to change.
    If your wife thinks its a problem, it probably is and you are just not seeing it.
    But as others have said, you have to want to change it for it to be effective.
    You are oversimplifying a very complex issue. My wife can be a combination of very naive and also take things to the extreme. 

    She thought me smoking weed to watch a movie once every week or two was “becoming a problem”. 

    She thought getting fast food once in a while was “becoming a problem”. 

    My drinking habits only became a problem when her similar habits changed. 

    And yet, a month ago we had friends over, she got so loaded she fell down our fucking stairs in front of our teenagers, and that was funny/stupid but not a problem. 

    So forgive me if I don’t take my wife’s opinion as gospel over what is actually a problem. 
    OK. Sorry, just interpreted things from what I read in the original post. Obviously can't know all the details.
    Didn't mean to cause any distress.
    I, like the other guys, was only trying to offer some help/insight based on experience with this subject.
    Hope you find the right balance that works for you. I'm always willing to discuss if you want, be it here or in a PM.
    Take care.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • PoncierPoncier Posts: 17,212
    mickeyrat said:
    There is no shame in being honest. 
    It's the best way

    only way. especially with ourselves.
    You know what I meant. Getting judged by someone who obviously has only a small fraction of the picture but still chooses to judge. 
    And honestly wasn't judging, but it came off that way to you and again I apologize.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 37,623
    Fair enough.
    "Oh Canada...you're beautiful when you're drunk"
    -EV  8/14/93




  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,628
    mickeyrat said:
    There is no shame in being honest. 
    It's the best way

    only way. especially with ourselves.
    You know what I meant. Getting judged by someone who obviously has only a small fraction of the picture but still chooses to judge. 

    but at its heart thats what did it for me. damn what other people thought. until I could be that honest with myself , nothing was going to get better for me. Mine was the more extreme case though I was facing help/change or go back to homelessness with zero prospects of improvement to my living situation.

    an observation in your reply. It comes across as defensive. no need. here to help in whatever way I/we can with however you say you need it. maybe some of this coversation should switch to pm's . just a thought.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
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