Im into week 4 now its my sons 19th birthday. Yesterday i ruined our early xmas dinner bec my tooth broke and i left my mums house upset leaving my children there.my mum put so much effort in and i left before it even begun. I upset everyone including myself. Previously i would have got very drunk I didn't . And as you all posted before "to feel" is painful. I feel it now. Pain. Guilt. Sorrow. Im trying so hard but i wanted to smash my face against a wall and hurt myself. Now its the next early morning i feel so much sorrow and i am desperate to survive with a hollow space where i feel like my life is soon to end. Sorry for this but its all honest
I am sorry to hear you are in a dark place at the moment. I hope you are able to stay strong and resist the urge. Of course I do not know your family but I have discovered for myself that honesty can often work wonders. I am not in recovery from substance abuse but have other mental health issues and often get angry for no reason. Quite often at people who mean the world to me and usually it's not their fault. I might be under stress or simply disagree with them or their behaviour. But learning to recognize these moments and being able to apologise has become such a relief... It simply clears the air and helps removing awkward interaction. The sooner I talk to people about the situation, the easier it is to resolve them.
I guess what I am trying to say is: you have the power to make it up to your family. If you can't face them, because you feel ashamed (and believe, I have been there), text them, send them an email - anything. You don't have to tell your kids, what exactly you are going through, but tell them you are having a rough time and were mad at yourself and you are sorry you let it out on them, but that it was wrong and you are sorry. That gesture will mean so much to them and you will feel so much better. Ask them how you can make it up to them. The worst you can do is let is fester and become bigger. Nip it in the butt, before that happens. And being able to admit when we're wrong is something we all could do more, I think we often don't want to feel vulnerable and put ourselves on the spot. But by doing exactly that we become the bigger and stronger person.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
So my dr questions me giving up drinking as not a good idea.....how can that be? Fuckin ridiculous. Because i suffer with extreme health anxiety. I now get no relief from symptoms and fear. So when i drank i would get a break Ffs. Im so confused still. My brain is a mess
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
So my dr questions me giving up drinking as not a good idea.....how can that be? Fuckin ridiculous. Because i suffer with extreme health anxiety. I now get no relief from symptoms and fear. So when i drank i would get a break Ffs. Im so confused still. My brain is a mess
Assume you explained your reason why?
I have only heard of one instance where a friend was told to keep drinking. He was so far gone into alcoholism. Dr said he shoud gradually taper off to prevent dt's. he was doing a half gallon of vodka daily.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Im feeling at one with not drinking today. I just need to fix my brain then i want to fly
Glad to hear man. One small step at a time. I like this meditation guide, sometimes I use it before bed and it relaxes me so much. You can use it whenever. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p_yaNFSYao
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
tonights the night. I dont want to let go but its selfish to delay this any longer. She was a great companion who loved me unconditionally. Rest easy sweet girl.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
tonights the night. I dont want to let go but its selfish to delay this any longer. She was a great companion who loved me unconditionally. Rest easy sweet girl.
Four years on, I still remember all too vividly how hard that decision and that step was. Hugs to you, mickey.
my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
Comments
(((Hugs))) mickeyrat. I'm gutted for you. May her end be peaceful.
It simply clears the air and helps removing awkward interaction. The sooner I talk to people about the situation, the easier it is to resolve them.
I guess what I am trying to say is: you have the power to make it up to your family. If you can't face them, because you feel ashamed (and believe, I have been there), text them, send them an email - anything. You don't have to tell your kids, what exactly you are going through, but tell them you are having a rough time and were mad at yourself and you are sorry you let it out on them, but that it was wrong and you are sorry. That gesture will mean so much to them and you will feel so much better. Ask them how you can make it up to them. The worst you can do is let is fester and become bigger. Nip it in the butt, before that happens. And being able to admit when we're wrong is something we all could do more, I think we often don't want to feel vulnerable and put ourselves on the spot. But by doing exactly that we become the bigger and stronger person.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
And to all struggling in their own ways.
Because i suffer with extreme health anxiety. I now get no relief from symptoms and fear. So when i drank i would get a break
Ffs. Im so confused still. My brain is a mess
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
I have only heard of one instance where a friend was told to keep drinking. He was so far gone into alcoholism. Dr said he shoud gradually taper off to prevent dt's. he was doing a half gallon of vodka daily.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
I just need to fix my brain then i want to fly
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
One small step at a time.
I like this meditation guide, sometimes I use it before bed and it relaxes me so much.
You can use it whenever.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Put some headphones, lay down in bed or the couch and breath.
helped me in many ways
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Weird. I felt sure this morning and not sure thos evening. Sleep i think
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Keep punching!
Did you try mindfulness meditation?
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
find some meetings near you. and go. just sit and listen.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
And mickey, I am so so sorry. She knows you loved her without limits as well. They always get it.
Four years on, I still remember all too vividly how hard that decision and that step was. Hugs to you, mickey.