PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

DS1119

oona left

mickeyrat wrote:

ok, since we last saw each other , I PASSED my CDL exam. :shock: I am now a licensed big rig driver!!!

At this moment I'm in Indianapolis,IN. for orientation with a very large trucking company. Seems of one the better ones for a new driver to start with. Pay will be decent to start for a new guy.

Yesterday , at the bus station, I was hit up by a apparent homeless guy. Didnt get rude, but it struck me wrong for a second this guy didnt realize he hit us up twice before 10 minutes earlier!! The other guy standing there was in my class and he threw out there that he was in recovery!!!! Imagine that. Kinda doubting there will be time to get to a meeting whle I'm here as they give us homework to do every night. This is a weeklong interview, that we can be sent home from at any time if we dont meet the standards laid out. Understandable, we would be "given" A vehicle worth ALOT of $ and tasked with safe transport of customers goods worth a bunch too.



HP has been involved from the start. Feeling good about this.

Sounds great, Mickey!

Even if you don't have time for meetings, I imagine it's nice to know there's someone else there who's on the same path.

mickeyrat

here I am, a week removed from orientation. Still waiting to go out for on the road training.

Practice patience? check and check.

hope everyone has the holiday they hope for.

mickeyrat

Merry Christmas to one and all. Hope its a safe and sober one!!!

When your family hits THAT button one too man times , get to a meeting!!!!

oona left

mickeyrat wrote:

Merry Christmas to one and all. Hope its a safe and sober one!!!

When your family hits THAT button one too man times , get to a meeting!!!!

Merry Christmas to you, Mickey! And to everyone else!

chadwick

here in a matter of moments i will be around all the alcohol a family and friends christmas party needs. my brother's house will be fulla people and drinks and whatnot. i haven't had alcohol in one years and five days. i am a little scared i am going to get smoked beyond reckoning. i am unable to say i will not drink. in days of past i could say with certainty from firm conviction that i would not drink. a (opposite of small) percentage of my family and friends drink irresponsibly. i feel unsure, scared and alone.... i feel alone even in a crowd.

today will be extremely difficult. i have pills and my favorite color. i do not know what to do. :(

oona left

chadwick wrote:

here in a matter of moments i will be around all the alcohol a family and friends christmas party needs. my brother's house will be fulla people and drinks and whatnot. i haven't had alcohol in one years and five days. i am a little scared i am going to get smoked beyond reckoning. i am unable to say i will not drink. in days of past i could say with certainty from firm conviction that i would not drink. a (opposite of small) percentage of my family and friends drink irresponsibly. i feel unsure, scared and alone.... i feel alone even in a crowd.

today will be extremely difficult. i have pills and my favorite color. i do not know what to do. :(

You really don't have to drink if you don't want to. Hell, you don't have to drink even if you do want to.

What have you drawn from over the last year and five days that has allowed you to stay sober?

chadwick

oona left wrote:

chadwick wrote:

here in a matter of moments i will be around all the alcohol a family and friends christmas party needs. my brother's house will be fulla people and drinks and whatnot. i haven't had alcohol in one years and five days. i am a little scared i am going to get smoked beyond reckoning. i am unable to say i will not drink. in days of past i could say with certainty from firm conviction that i would not drink. a (opposite of small) percentage of my family and friends drink irresponsibly. i feel unsure, scared and alone.... i feel alone even in a crowd.

today will be extremely difficult. i have pills and my favorite color. i do not know what to do. :(

You really don't have to drink if you don't want to. Hell, you don't have to drink even if you do want to.

What have you drawn from over the last year and five days that has allowed you to stay sober?

i don't get pressure from others to drink. the pressure comes from being near alcohol. i hate the alcohol section of the store. i hate looking at a giant bottle of vodka sitting on my brother's wooden buffet.

today i will be around whiskey, wine, tequila, vodka, beer, and whatever else happens to show up.

i am bringing my guitars to tune the drinking and bullshit out. deep inside it hurts though. some part of me wants to drink glass fulls of whiskey. i haven't felt this helpless in a longtime.

swimming, crashing through the water has been what i draw from to stay sane.

i shit and i stink

Hey Everyone,

Safe and happy holidays. Hope you all get through it okay and have a wonderful time.

T

MAS

chadwick wrote:

here in a matter of moments i will be around all the alcohol a family and friends christmas party needs. my brother's house will be fulla people and drinks and whatnot. i haven't had alcohol in one years and five days. i am a little scared i am going to get smoked beyond reckoning. i am unable to say i will not drink. in days of past i could say with certainty from firm conviction that i would not drink. a (opposite of small) percentage of my family and friends drink irresponsibly. i feel unsure, scared and alone.... i feel alone even in a crowd.

today will be extremely difficult. i have pills and my favorite color. i do not know what to do. :(

How'd it go?

chadwick

MAS wrote:

chadwick wrote:

here in a matter of moments i will be around all the alcohol a family and friends christmas party needs. my brother's house will be fulla people and drinks and whatnot. i haven't had alcohol in one years and five days. i am a little scared i am going to get smoked beyond reckoning. i am unable to say i will not drink. in days of past i could say with certainty from firm conviction that i would not drink. a (opposite of small) percentage of my family and friends drink irresponsibly. i feel unsure, scared and alone.... i feel alone even in a crowd.

today will be extremely difficult. i have pills and my favorite color. i do not know what to do. :(

How'd it go?

it was only bad until i got there. it was glorious as i did not have anything to drink. everyone else....hammered.
me? sober as can be. i had some pretty crappy green. that is as crazy as i got.

i guess i have come full circle this year. it's been 1 year and 1 week w/out alcohol.
i'd say booze to me is like a needle to a needle drug user.
hate seeing bottles and feel very uneasy inside and unsure. somehow i did it and held my ground.

MAS

That's

chadwick wrote:

MAS wrote:

chadwick wrote:

here in a matter of moments i will be around all the alcohol a family and friends christmas party needs. my brother's house will be fulla people and drinks and whatnot. i haven't had alcohol in one years and five days. i am a little scared i am going to get smoked beyond reckoning. i am unable to say i will not drink. in days of past i could say with certainty from firm conviction that i would not drink. a (opposite of small) percentage of my family and friends drink irresponsibly. i feel unsure, scared and alone.... i feel alone even in a crowd.

today will be extremely difficult. i have pills and my favorite color. i do not know what to do. :(

How'd it go?

it was only bad until i got there. it was glorious as i did not have anything to drink. everyone else....hammered.
me? sober as can be. i had some pretty crappy green. that is as crazy as i got.

i guess i have come full circle this year. it's been 1 year and 1 week w/out alcohol.
i'd say booze to me is like a needle to a needle drug user.
hate seeing bottles and feel very uneasy inside and unsure. somehow i did it and held my ground.

That's a fuckin accomplishment u should b proud of...

mickeyrat

A safe, sober Happy New Year to my fellows!!!!

Here I sit in a Best Western hotel in the middle of road training for my new career as Professional Truck Driver. Realizing a lifelong desire to drive for a living. This would not have been possible WITHOUT Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 steps in my life. I have seen a sober new year since 2006. Each one better than the last. This one is a little bit more special, but bittersweet as I'll not be with the woman I love for the anniversary of our first kiss.

Anyhoo, be safe and watch out fopr all the amateurs out there tonight!!!

DS1119

mickeyrat wrote:

A safe, sober Happy New Year to my fellows!!!!

Here I sit in a Best Western hotel in the middle of road training for my new career as Professional Truck Driver. Realizing a lifelong desire to drive for a living. This would not have been possible WITHOUT Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 steps in my life. I have seen a sober new year since 2006. Each one better than the last. This one is a little bit more special, but bittersweet as I'll not be with the woman I love for the anniversary of our first kiss.

Anyhoo, be safe and watch out fopr all the amateurs out there tonight!!!

phillyfan

mickeyrat wrote:

A safe, sober Happy New Year to my fellows!!!!

Here I sit in a Best Western hotel in the middle of road training for my new career as Professional Truck Driver. Realizing a lifelong desire to drive for a living. This would not have been possible WITHOUT Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 steps in my life. I have seen a sober new year since 2006. Each one better than the last. This one is a little bit more special, but bittersweet as I'll not be with the woman I love for the anniversary of our first kiss.

Anyhoo, be safe and watch out fopr all the amateurs out there tonight!!!

Nice and congrats!!! I haven't been in here awhile, but I am 6 months clean and feels great.
Everyone be safe!

i shit and i stink

Happy New Year Everyone!

I like the 1st of January, it means I can add another calendar year to those in which I have spent time sober

I was falling at the end of last year but I had a good rest over the last few days and it has helped a lot. I'm feeling fresh and regenerated. I always try to keep in mind the HALT thing my sponsor once told me about. It ain't good to be Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired.

Now, I wasn't hungry but I was certainly angry, lonely and tired (bunrt out physically, mentally and spiritually). Some rest and recuperation and time with the family has really helped a lot with those and I feel like I'm starting the New Year in a better and safer place for me. Self-awareness comes with time, knowing my own body and mind and seeing the warning signs.

Peace

starmap3333

mickeyrat wrote:

A safe, sober Happy New Year to my fellows!!!!

Here I sit in a Best Western hotel in the middle of road training for my new career as Professional Truck Driver. Realizing a lifelong desire to drive for a living. This would not have been possible WITHOUT Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 steps in my life. I have seen a sober new year since 2006. Each one better than the last. This one is a little bit more special, but bittersweet as I'll not be with the woman I love for the anniversary of our first kiss.

Anyhoo, be safe and watch out fopr all the amateurs out there tonight!!!

that's awesome you got ahold of yourself before you got dwi convictions... at least you can still drive a truck. all i can do is wait on truckers which is exactly what I do. lol.

mickeyrat

Alrighty then. Here I find myself with some time to post here.Am in the truck at a truck stop with some time to kill before heading to my next pick up.

Friday was my first day solo. After meeting with my "dispatcher" and finding out whats expected of me , I got the keys to my temp truck. Waited for a load assignment. As I waited fear and doubt set in. "What am I doing? I'm not cut out for this!!" Quick little prayer to HP cured that right quick.

Now I'm starting day 5 and much more relaxed about what my job is. Let me tell you, its far more than just holding a steering wheel. I haven't even begun to learn about it. I know just enough to deliver the freight.

Thus far , I've not had a radio/cb or any type of mind distraction. Just cant afford it yet. BUT , I'm finding a quiet peaceful mind. You know how we can get when we have time on our hands.



Well, I'm off for the next trip.

IF ANY of you that stop by want to PM me, whether you want to quit drinking or not, it would be most welcome.

Peace from the road.

curly

cool thread...

i shit and i stink

curly wrote:

cool thread...

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