Do you poop at work?

dankind

lastexitlondon said:

On you!

No way. I’d find another job if that were the case. 

Hobbes

dankind said:

lastexitlondon said:

On you!

No way. I’d find another job if that were the case. 

Rumor has it the Cleveland Steamers are shopping for an ace but will settle for a deuce.

dankind

Hobbes said:

dankind said:

lastexitlondon said:

On you!

No way. I’d find another job if that were the case. 

Rumor has it the Cleveland Steamers are shopping for an ace but will settle for a deuce.

Well, if they know their man is working hard....

Gern Blansten

Yes, but its a get in and get out fast situation

MayDay10 said:

I avoid it at all costs.  If I have to, I make sure I am undetected entering the bathroom, proceed as quickly as possible... and leave undetected.  Usually approaching and egressing from the bathroom area from/to different directions to throw off the trail.

I worked at an accounting firm years ago that had an office on the 4th floor of a building that had centralized restrooms on each floor.  

The door to the office had a chime on it and the reception window was about 15 feet away from the door which meant that the secretary couldn't always see who was coming and going.  There was a bell sitting next to the door (inside) that we were supposed to ring before we walked out and ring when returning so that everyone in the office knew it was one of us instead of a client, etc.

That created awkward situations for me when I would be gone too long.  They knew I was pooping.

Hobbes

dankind said:

Hobbes said:

dankind said:

lastexitlondon said:

On you!

No way. I’d find another job if that were the case. 

Rumor has it the Cleveland Steamers are shopping for an ace but will settle for a deuce.

Well, if they know their man is working hard....

Grunt work.

mfc2006

Yes, but its a get in and get out fast situation

We have a pretty large facility here with a lot of restrooms. I have to leave my office quite a bit anyway, so it's not too unusual to be away for awhile. That being said, I tend to use the RR away from our primary offices and only if it cannot be avoided. I'd much rather wait until I get home.

2-feign-reluctance

Yes, and I don't care who comes in after me either

Gern Blansten said:

MayDay10 said:

I avoid it at all costs.  If I have to, I make sure I am undetected entering the bathroom, proceed as quickly as possible... and leave undetected.  Usually approaching and egressing from the bathroom area from/to different directions to throw off the trail.

I worked at an accounting firm years ago that had an office on the 4th floor of a building that had centralized restrooms on each floor.  

The door to the office had a chime on it and the reception window was about 15 feet away from the door which meant that the secretary couldn't always see who was coming and going.  There was a bell sitting next to the door (inside) that we were supposed to ring before we walked out and ring when returning so that everyone in the office knew it was one of us instead of a client, etc.

That created awkward situations for me when I would be gone too long.  They knew I was pooping.

Damn. That is a system designed for embarrassment! 

Merkin Baller

Yes, and I don't care who comes in after me either

In our office, the men's room is right across a narrow hall from the conference room. 


My boss's extremely loud shits always make for some awkward moments when the young ladies from our accounting company are in preparing the taxes every spring. 

2-feign-reluctance

Yes, and I don't care who comes in after me either

Merkin Baller said:

In our office, the men's room is right across a narrow hall from the conference room. 


My boss's extremely loud shits always make for some awkward moments when the young ladies from our accounting company are in preparing the taxes every spring. 

Hobbes

2-feign-reluctance said:

Merkin Baller said:

In our office, the men's room is right across a narrow hall from the conference room. 


My boss's extremely loud shits always make for some awkward moments when the young ladies from our accounting company are in preparing the taxes every spring. 

Merkin Baller

Yes, and I don't care who comes in after me either

Hobbes said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

Merkin Baller said:

In our office, the men's room is right across a narrow hall from the conference room. 


My boss's extremely loud shits always make for some awkward moments when the young ladies from our accounting company are in preparing the taxes every spring. 

Gern Blansten

Yes, but its a get in and get out fast situation

Merkin Baller said:

In our office, the men's room is right across a narrow hall from the conference room. 


My boss's extremely loud shits always make for some awkward moments when the young ladies from our accounting company are in preparing the taxes every spring. 

At the first firm I worked at our boss used to light up the entire building.  It was god awful.  

I was there about 18 months before we realized that he was a raging alcoholic.  The smell was because his liver was dying.

I left there a few months later and got the job at the firm I described above where we had to ring a bell every time we went to the bathroom. 

Sad to say that he died about six years after I left there.  Crazy part is that he was 56 when he died so he was only 50 when I worked for him.  I would have guessed he was closer to 65.

Wobbie

F Me In The Brain said:

Now that I've worked from home for nearly ten years, I download files whenever needed.

heard another euphemism...."bombing the oval office."

JojoRice

Yes, but its a get in and get out fast situation

Boss makes a dollar.  I make a dime.  That's why I poop on company time!

MayDay10

No, I hold it until I get home

Its also amazing to me, when I walk into the bathroom to pee and someone is in a stall ripping ass and I am inhaling their awful BM fumes...  Trying to gtf out of there, the person detects its me and like it is nothing, strikes up a conversation....  and/or, emerge from the stall as I am frantically trying to wash my hands and disappear, and start talking to me.

JeBurkhardt

Wobbie said:

F Me In The Brain said:

Now that I've worked from home for nearly ten years, I download files whenever needed.

heard another euphemism...."bombing the oval office."

In the Navy I often heard about "sending another Ensign out to sea". 

Glorified KC

Yes, and I don't care who comes in after me either

I shit you not (pun intended) I just opened this, at work, and then suddenly had to run to the bathroom.  Power of suggestion.

mfc2006

Yes, but its a get in and get out fast situation

MayDay10 said:

Its also amazing to me, when I walk into the bathroom to pee and someone is in a stall ripping ass and I am inhaling their awful BM fumes...  Trying to gtf out of there, the person detects its me and like it is nothing, strikes up a conversation....  and/or, emerge from the stall as I am frantically trying to wash my hands and disappear, and start talking to me.

Yes. WTF is up with that????

darwinstheory

Yes, and I don't care who comes in after me either

Yes I do. I used to be shy about it or avoid at all costs...then, one day, I decided I could not care less. I work a lot of hours. I mean...A LOT (by most people's standards). So I like to consider myself a professional pooper at times. I wonder how many OT hours I get paid to poop every year. 

The Juggler

Yes, and I don't care who comes in after me either

My office is now my home, but even when I was in an actual office....hell fucking yes. 

Great thread, by the way. I am surprised I didn't think of it first. 

hedonist

Gern Blansten said:

Merkin Baller said:

In our office, the men's room is right across a narrow hall from the conference room. 


My boss's extremely loud shits always make for some awkward moments when the young ladies from our accounting company are in preparing the taxes every spring. 

At the first firm I worked at our boss used to light up the entire building.  It was god awful.  

I was there about 18 months before we realized that he was a raging alcoholic.  The smell was because his liver was dying.

I left there a few months later and got the job at the firm I described above where we had to ring a bell every time we went to the bathroom. 

Sad to say that he died about six years after I left there.  Crazy part is that he was 56 when he died so he was only 50 when I worked for him.  I would have guessed he was closer to 65.

The ringing bell connection has had no Pavlovian reaction from you, I hope.

And I won’t touch the alcoholic/poop issue! That shit did a number on me, bowels included 😬

mca47

I work from home, so yeah.  I also travel a lot for work and when I'm on the road I try to wait until I can get back to my hotel.  

dankind

In a related note, one of my proudest moments as a father was hearing my at-the-time 6-year-old boy belt this out at the top of his lungs a couple of years ago when he was in such a situation. 

https://youtu.be/MXW2jfdtsaQ

Malroth

JojoRice said:

Boss makes a dollar.  I make a dime.  That's why I poop on company time!

I made up the term "clocker" for a shit on company time.

2-feign-reluctance

Yes, and I don't care who comes in after me either

Thanks for the laughs everyone! 

PJPOWER

Currently pooping at work…

tempo_n_groove

MayDay10 said:

Its also amazing to me, when I walk into the bathroom to pee and someone is in a stall ripping ass and I am inhaling their awful BM fumes...  Trying to gtf out of there, the person detects its me and like it is nothing, strikes up a conversation....  and/or, emerge from the stall as I am frantically trying to wash my hands and disappear, and start talking to me.

Courtesy flush people!!!

Spiritual_Chaos

Weird working at a place that has "stalls". 

Pretty much doesn't exist here in Sweden. We have separate bathrooms at work. 

Stalls are for nightclubs and airports...

F Me In The Brain

Spiritual_Chaos said:

Weird working at a place that has "stalls". 

Pretty much doesn't exist here in Sweden. We have separate bathrooms at work. 

Stalls are for nightclubs and airports...

That should be its own thread.
Do you poop at nightclubs?
.     
I thought they were only for drugs and sex.

Gern Blansten

Yes, but its a get in and get out fast situation

I had an office in another building that had a central restroom.  Luckily separate mens and womens bathrooms.

I was in that building for about nine years and probably pooped there maybe 10 times.

The main restroom was about 15 feet from the front door to the building.  One toilet/one urinal that were side by side so you always locked the door to go in.  Funny thing was there was a motion detector on the light so if you sat there long enough the light would go off and you had to wave your arms to get the fucker back on.  Not cool as it would be pitch black in there without the light. The first time that happened it was horrifying until I realized motion turned it back on.  Also, turd burglars were frequently trying to open the door mid poop because there was only one bathroom in that wing of the building.  I was always horrified that someone would be waiting outside the door when I was done.

I eventually learned to go to a different wing of the building and use the upstairs mens room.  It was also a one banger with a lock but there weren't as many people so it was much quieter.  And the light didn't go off on you either.