Having Kids. Selfish Act?

Meltdown99

If your hope for saving the planet is to wait the next...then it’s to late.  

goldrush

It’s probably already too late. But our generation aren’t going to be the ones to solve this. We have to hope that the following generations can do better than we are, or else it’s all over. Of course that’s not a reason to have kids, but I would like to believe that they can find a way to fix our mistakes.

rgambs

I have to be around Catholics because of my in-laws so that poisons me towards the idea of having more than 1 or 2 kids.

Like, seriously, you've got one in college and one in preschool and 3 in between?  Jeebus H, how about take on a foster or adopt. 
Nah, just pump out more members for your cult lol

cincybearcat

Jason P said:

having kids and leaving them to be raised by others is a selfish act.  raising a kid isn't selfish at all, probably the opposite of selfish.

What do you consider "leaving them to be raised by others"?

cincybearcat

rgambs said:

I have to be around Catholics because of my in-laws so that poisons me towards the idea of having more than 1 or 2 kids.

Like, seriously, you've got one in college and one in preschool and 3 in between?  Jeebus H, how about take on a foster or adopt. 
Nah, just pump out more members for your cult lol

It's really funny to me that they don't see the real reason for a stupid policy towards birth control.  The machine just wants more people to give it more $.

Meltdown99

rgambs said:

I have to be around Catholics because of my in-laws so that poisons me towards the idea of having more than 1 or 2 kids.

Like, seriously, you've got one in college and one in preschool and 3 in between?  Jeebus H, how about take on a foster or adopt. 
Nah, just pump out more members for your cult lol

I agree its a cult...

Meltdown99

rgambs said:

I have to be around Catholics because of my in-laws so that poisons me towards the idea of having more than 1 or 2 kids.

Like, seriously, you've got one in college and one in preschool and 3 in between?  Jeebus H, how about take on a foster or adopt. 
Nah, just pump out more members for your cult lol

I worked with a teacher who was catholic...he had 8 kids, the oldest was in his last on University and they had a toddler at home...he did this with basic teaching salary ... he never had time to take the courses required that would have brought him to the top pay scale...

cp3iverson

Wtf

If you want five kids then have five kids.  As long as you take care of them it’s fine with me.  I only get upset when kids are abused or you see the mom walking ten feet in front of their 3 year old in the Target parking lot.  

Being a dad is the best thing to ever happen to me.  Crafting a responsible human being is your duty once you become a parent. 

rgambs

cp3iverson said:

Wtf

If you want five kids then have five kids.  As long as you take care of them it’s fine with me.  I only get upset when kids are abused or you see the mom walking ten feet in front of their 3 year old in the Target parking lot.  

Being a dad is the best thing to ever happen to me.  Crafting a responsible human being is your duty once you become a parent. 

I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I had 5 privileged kids eating mini pizzas and Twix bars every day while millions of kids starve around the world.

mickeyrat

at one time I wanted kids. then I started drinking. into alcoholism. then crack and booze. then just crack.

have had gratitude since I got sober I never did have kids.

now I am uncle to two nieces. great uncle to two great nieces and a couple step great nieces. "uncle" to several cousins .

I'm good with that...

Meltdown99

My brother never had kids and my sister has no kids and I never had kids.  I guess we are doing our part to balance things out...

rgambs

Uncle might just be the best job in the world!

cp3iverson

rgambs said:

cp3iverson said:

Wtf

If you want five kids then have five kids.  As long as you take care of them it’s fine with me.  I only get upset when kids are abused or you see the mom walking ten feet in front of their 3 year old in the Target parking lot.  

Being a dad is the best thing to ever happen to me.  Crafting a responsible human being is your duty once you become a parent. 

I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I had 5 privileged kids eating mini pizzas and Twix bars every day while millions of kids starve around the world.

Hey man, As long as you’re raising them right and making whatever contributions you can to people who have less there shouldn't be any guilt.  

Make sure its PB Twix tho.  

OnWis97

hedonist said:

PJ_Soul said:

I wouldn't call it selfish... I might call it irresponsible though. Not that I expect everyone to stop having kids. I don't have any, largely for the reasons the OP is talking about, but I know that others just have a really deep and undeniable need to procreate. It's not really their fault. It's a combination of socialization and instinct for some people. That said, I think people should have as few kids as they can possible stand - if that number is zero, that's ideal.

I think this is kind of funny, because up until very recently, it was more commonly said that people who DON'T have kids are the selfish ones, lol.

I am selfish - which is why I chose not to have / adopt children.  I simply don't have what (I believe) it takes to be a good parent.

(And after DK's comment, that is hereby cemented!)

Me, too.  It’s not the not having kids that makes us selfish.  It’s our selfishness that makes us realize we shouldn’t have kids. I wanna spend my fee time not reading to kids and carting them places.  I’m selfish with my time.  People tell me I’d be a good parent; probably because I have a decent job and don’t have a drug problem.

In the big picture, it’s the tragedy of the commons; if the Smiths have five kids, who cares?  But with so many people reproducing, we’re way overpopulated.

In recent years it’s become evident to me that environmental shit is gonna hit the fan in my (would-be) child’s lifetime.  It kinda validated my choice (though not as much as when I see a parent struggling with a petulant brat in public).

JimmyV

Raising annoying kids should be a criminal act. 

I kid, I kid.

(Kind of.)

HughFreakingDillon

everyone is selfish to a degree. we had kids cause we wanted to. that's the definition of selfish. same with people who don't want kids. but that's not a bad thing. you need to do what's best for you. the issue I have is with people who choose one or the other due to outside pressures. I can't imagine having kids if I didn't want them. What a horrible existence that would be. it's hard enough being a parent, I can't imagine being one if I didn't want to be.

The way I raise them, however, is to try to be unselfish, do what's best for them while maintaining my sanity. sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail. that's how it works. 

is the current population trend sustainable? No, it isn't. but stopping having kids will just lead to eventual extinction. which would be great for the planet of course. but I'd rather we fix it rather than choose to destroy ourselves. 

Kat

Try not to take it personal though....childhood/teenage is a constant struggle by them for their independence, which is what they are supposed to be doing so we don't have them in the nest forever.

MayDay10

pearljammr78 said:

I agree with you on a lot of it. But this planet cannot sustain the amount of people it has now. What I meant by selfish was bringing kids into a world that is not on the right course in many many ways. But is raising a kid super rewarding. No one doing it the best they can can argue that. It’s amazing. 

would you want your existence in this world to depend on how much cable news your parents consumed?

HughFreakingDillon

Kat said:

Try not to take it personal though....childhood/teenage is a constant struggle by them for their independence, which is what they are supposed to be doing so we don't have them in the nest forever.

I've learned to laugh as much as possible. it will serve me well. two daughters: 10 and 13. 

dankind

HughFreakingDillon said:

Kat said:

Try not to take it personal though....childhood/teenage is a constant struggle by them for their independence, which is what they are supposed to be doing so we don't have them in the nest forever.

I've learned to laugh as much as possible. it will serve me well. two daughters: 10 and 13. 

If only they left the nest sooner. Am I right?