Having Kids. Selfish Act?

13

Comments

  • Halifax2TheMaxHalifax2TheMax Posts: 39,017
    Yeah, as I think about this thread I scratch my head.
    Having kids is our biological reason for being.
    The instinct is to have them
    How is this selfish?
    I tried for years (and years) and finally got one.  FSM finally blessed me.
    Is he a jackass who runs around and makes my life difficult?
    Yeah.
    Would I fucking chop down anyone who wanted to harm him?
    Oh, hell yeah.
    He is the best thing I could hope to come out of my being on this planet.
    I make no judgement on those who don't want to have kids.
    I get it.
    However, saying, in general, that wanting to have kids is selfish?
    Jeebus.  That makes no sense to me.
    Blessed? Get the hell outta here! You finally figured out where to put it! Blessed.
    09/15/1998 & 09/16/1998, Mansfield, MA; 08/29/00 08/30/00, Mansfield, MA; 07/02/03, 07/03/03, Mansfield, MA; 09/28/04, 09/29/04, Boston, MA; 09/22/05, Halifax, NS; 05/24/06, 05/25/06, Boston, MA; 07/22/06, 07/23/06, Gorge, WA; 06/27/2008, Hartford; 06/28/08, 06/30/08, Mansfield; 08/18/2009, O2, London, UK; 10/30/09, 10/31/09, Philadelphia, PA; 05/15/10, Hartford, CT; 05/17/10, Boston, MA; 05/20/10, 05/21/10, NY, NY; 06/22/10, Dublin, IRE; 06/23/10, Northern Ireland; 09/03/11, 09/04/11, Alpine Valley, WI; 09/11/11, 09/12/11, Toronto, Ont; 09/14/11, Ottawa, Ont; 09/15/11, Hamilton, Ont; 07/02/2012, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/04/2012 & 07/05/2012, Berlin, Germany; 07/07/2012, Stockholm, Sweden; 09/30/2012, Missoula, MT; 07/16/2013, London, Ont; 07/19/2013, Chicago, IL; 10/15/2013 & 10/16/2013, Worcester, MA; 10/21/2013 & 10/22/2013, Philadelphia, PA; 10/25/2013, Hartford, CT; 11/29/2013, Portland, OR; 11/30/2013, Spokane, WA; 12/04/2013, Vancouver, BC; 12/06/2013, Seattle, WA; 10/03/2014, St. Louis. MO; 10/22/2014, Denver, CO; 10/26/2015, New York, NY; 04/23/2016, New Orleans, LA; 04/28/2016 & 04/29/2016, Philadelphia, PA; 05/01/2016 & 05/02/2016, New York, NY; 05/08/2016, Ottawa, Ont.; 05/10/2016 & 05/12/2016, Toronto, Ont.; 08/05/2016 & 08/07/2016, Boston, MA; 08/20/2016 & 08/22/2016, Chicago, IL; 07/01/2018, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/03/2018, Krakow, Poland; 07/05/2018, Berlin, Germany; 09/02/2018 & 09/04/2018, Boston, MA; 09/08/2022, Toronto, Ont; 09/11/2022, New York, NY; 09/14/2022, Camden, NJ; 09/02/2023, St. Paul, MN; 05/04/2024 & 05/06/2024, Vancouver, BC; 05/10/2024, Portland, OR;

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  • oftenreadingoftenreading Posts: 12,845
    brianlux said:
    Who do you consider educated?  The person who tried kindergarten felt it wasn't for them and dropped out, the grade 8 dropout, the high school drop out, someone with grade 12?  Got news for some of you there are people with less formal that is talented and amazing.  I worked with a fellow ... grade 8 education ...  He could fix and repair any vehicle, he pulled 50 grand a year.

    What about tradespeople, many of them would shock you with how much they make.

    What about farmers.  Many have very little education...but they run farms and feed us.

    What about truck drivers?  If you gotta, a truck brought it in most cases.









    Fucking hell.  Sorry that I can't get it to separate 
    I don't view that sort of comment about the grade level, but more about people acting like idiots and showing that they are "uneducated"
    My CEO never went to college.
    I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves.
    .guessing the same for Brian, but he can answer that.
    "I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves."  Nailed it!

    I did say something  about un-educated people have more kids.  I think that's true but maybe what I should have been more precise.  There are a lot of really great people of varying education levels who have had kids- many of them right here on these forums.  Some of the best people I have ever met have kids- my wife had a kid and she is smart, kind, and just naturally a good soul (not at all cranky like me!)  But if you work with the public or even just get out a lot, you see lot of really shitty parenting going on.  It's easy to spot.   I even see it a lot in the bookstore and we generally have a more intelligent customer base (because we sell books) than a lot of other shops (not to put other shops down, of course).

    As for school, there are stupid college graduates and brilliant drop outs.  School is only good for what you put into it and get out of it.  I hated high school but loved college, but it was just a matter of what I like doing a lot of the time.  Some of my very best friends and the best people I know have been drop outs. 

    And Meltdown, there are farmers like Lou Reed sings about in "Future Farmers of America" and there are farmers like my brother who is one of the smartest people I've ever met.  Wendell Berry is a Farmer and one of the most recognized authors of our time.  I don't think anyone is generalizing about  people's intelligence based on their job.  Shouldn't anyway.  Paul Westerberg, for example, was a janitor.  And he's a fucking genius too.

    The other thing to keep in mind is that there is a lot of information  showing that better educated women have fewer children.  There are plenty of studies showing that.  It's easy to find that info on the internet.  Check it out. 

    I think an important point about your last paragraph is that, just because better educated women tend to have fewer children, isn't necessarily because they are "smarter", it's because they are most likely more career-driven. 

    I can't imagine living in a time, as recently as the 60's, where if you didn't have kids you were considered some kind of fucking weirdo, as a female. Dudes were heralded for how studly they were. Women were pariahs. Now, it's leaning heavily on "do what makes you happy". Which I think is actually important for the world. We NEED more people not having kids. I honestly selfishly wanted more kids (probably just one more), our finances just dictated that we don't. I'm kind of glad we didn't. Now we're in a place where the 4 of us can afford to actually do things, like go on occasional trips, and fun in life. 

    I'll be honest, when I first joined facebook (now deleted), and found so many old friends, I was astounded at the number of women who weren't married and/or had no kids. I'm sure most by choice, some sadly not. It was ingrained in us that is just what you do; marry and have a family. Not pressured, that's just what you saw, in real life and on tv. Now it's finally evolved where women often aren't shamed for being single or childless. 

    No to your first point, because all over the world, when women are better educated they have fewer children, regardless of whether we are looking at developed or developing nations. Even where day to day survival is a challenge and no one is talking about a "career", better education leads to fewer children, because education opens up the realm of what else is possible.
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • brianlux said:
    Who do you consider educated?  The person who tried kindergarten felt it wasn't for them and dropped out, the grade 8 dropout, the high school drop out, someone with grade 12?  Got news for some of you there are people with less formal that is talented and amazing.  I worked with a fellow ... grade 8 education ...  He could fix and repair any vehicle, he pulled 50 grand a year.

    What about tradespeople, many of them would shock you with how much they make.

    What about farmers.  Many have very little education...but they run farms and feed us.

    What about truck drivers?  If you gotta, a truck brought it in most cases.









    Fucking hell.  Sorry that I can't get it to separate 
    I don't view that sort of comment about the grade level, but more about people acting like idiots and showing that they are "uneducated"
    My CEO never went to college.
    I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves.
    .guessing the same for Brian, but he can answer that.
    "I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves."  Nailed it!

    I did say something  about un-educated people have more kids.  I think that's true but maybe what I should have been more precise.  There are a lot of really great people of varying education levels who have had kids- many of them right here on these forums.  Some of the best people I have ever met have kids- my wife had a kid and she is smart, kind, and just naturally a good soul (not at all cranky like me!)  But if you work with the public or even just get out a lot, you see lot of really shitty parenting going on.  It's easy to spot.   I even see it a lot in the bookstore and we generally have a more intelligent customer base (because we sell books) than a lot of other shops (not to put other shops down, of course).

    As for school, there are stupid college graduates and brilliant drop outs.  School is only good for what you put into it and get out of it.  I hated high school but loved college, but it was just a matter of what I like doing a lot of the time.  Some of my very best friends and the best people I know have been drop outs. 

    And Meltdown, there are farmers like Lou Reed sings about in "Future Farmers of America" and there are farmers like my brother who is one of the smartest people I've ever met.  Wendell Berry is a Farmer and one of the most recognized authors of our time.  I don't think anyone is generalizing about  people's intelligence based on their job.  Shouldn't anyway.  Paul Westerberg, for example, was a janitor.  And he's a fucking genius too.

    The other thing to keep in mind is that there is a lot of information  showing that better educated women have fewer children.  There are plenty of studies showing that.  It's easy to find that info on the internet.  Check it out. 

    I think an important point about your last paragraph is that, just because better educated women tend to have fewer children, isn't necessarily because they are "smarter", it's because they are most likely more career-driven. 

    I can't imagine living in a time, as recently as the 60's, where if you didn't have kids you were considered some kind of fucking weirdo, as a female. Dudes were heralded for how studly they were. Women were pariahs. Now, it's leaning heavily on "do what makes you happy". Which I think is actually important for the world. We NEED more people not having kids. I honestly selfishly wanted more kids (probably just one more), our finances just dictated that we don't. I'm kind of glad we didn't. Now we're in a place where the 4 of us can afford to actually do things, like go on occasional trips, and fun in life. 

    I'll be honest, when I first joined facebook (now deleted), and found so many old friends, I was astounded at the number of women who weren't married and/or had no kids. I'm sure most by choice, some sadly not. It was ingrained in us that is just what you do; marry and have a family. Not pressured, that's just what you saw, in real life and on tv. Now it's finally evolved where women often aren't shamed for being single or childless. 

    No to your first point, because all over the world, when women are better educated they have fewer children, regardless of whether we are looking at developed or developing nations. Even where day to day survival is a challenge and no one is talking about a "career", better education leads to fewer children, because education opens up the realm of what else is possible.
    tomayto tomahto. 

    I wasn't really speaking about 3rd world countries, but the point remains, whether it's a career, or other possibilities, as you stated, that was my underlying point. 
    new album "Cigarettes" out Spring 2025!

    www.headstonesband.com




  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,445
    brianlux said:
    Who do you consider educated?  The person who tried kindergarten felt it wasn't for them and dropped out, the grade 8 dropout, the high school drop out, someone with grade 12?  Got news for some of you there are people with less formal that is talented and amazing.  I worked with a fellow ... grade 8 education ...  He could fix and repair any vehicle, he pulled 50 grand a year.

    What about tradespeople, many of them would shock you with how much they make.

    What about farmers.  Many have very little education...but they run farms and feed us.

    What about truck drivers?  If you gotta, a truck brought it in most cases.









    Fucking hell.  Sorry that I can't get it to separate 
    I don't view that sort of comment about the grade level, but more about people acting like idiots and showing that they are "uneducated"
    My CEO never went to college.
    I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves.
    .guessing the same for Brian, but he can answer that.
    "I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves."  Nailed it!

    I did say something  about un-educated people have more kids.  I think that's true but maybe what I should have been more precise.  There are a lot of really great people of varying education levels who have had kids- many of them right here on these forums.  Some of the best people I have ever met have kids- my wife had a kid and she is smart, kind, and just naturally a good soul (not at all cranky like me!)  But if you work with the public or even just get out a lot, you see lot of really shitty parenting going on.  It's easy to spot.   I even see it a lot in the bookstore and we generally have a more intelligent customer base (because we sell books) than a lot of other shops (not to put other shops down, of course).

    As for school, there are stupid college graduates and brilliant drop outs.  School is only good for what you put into it and get out of it.  I hated high school but loved college, but it was just a matter of what I like doing a lot of the time.  Some of my very best friends and the best people I know have been drop outs. 

    And Meltdown, there are farmers like Lou Reed sings about in "Future Farmers of America" and there are farmers like my brother who is one of the smartest people I've ever met.  Wendell Berry is a Farmer and one of the most recognized authors of our time.  I don't think anyone is generalizing about  people's intelligence based on their job.  Shouldn't anyway.  Paul Westerberg, for example, was a janitor.  And he's a fucking genius too.

    The other thing to keep in mind is that there is a lot of information  showing that better educated women have fewer children.  There are plenty of studies showing that.  It's easy to find that info on the internet.  Check it out. 

    I think an important point about your last paragraph is that, just because better educated women tend to have fewer children, isn't necessarily because they are "smarter", it's because they are most likely more career-driven. 

    I can't imagine living in a time, as recently as the 60's, where if you didn't have kids you were considered some kind of fucking weirdo, as a female. Dudes were heralded for how studly they were. Women were pariahs. Now, it's leaning heavily on "do what makes you happy". Which I think is actually important for the world. We NEED more people not having kids. I honestly selfishly wanted more kids (probably just one more), our finances just dictated that we don't. I'm kind of glad we didn't. Now we're in a place where the 4 of us can afford to actually do things, like go on occasional trips, and fun in life. 

    I'll be honest, when I first joined facebook (now deleted), and found so many old friends, I was astounded at the number of women who weren't married and/or had no kids. I'm sure most by choice, some sadly not. It was ingrained in us that is just what you do; marry and have a family. Not pressured, that's just what you saw, in real life and on tv. Now it's finally evolved where women often aren't shamed for being single or childless. 

    No to your first point, because all over the world, when women are better educated they have fewer children, regardless of whether we are looking at developed or developing nations. Even where day to day survival is a challenge and no one is talking about a "career", better education leads to fewer children, because education opens up the realm of what else is possible.
    tomayto tomahto. 

    I wasn't really speaking about 3rd world countries, but the point remains, whether it's a career, or other possibilities, as you stated, that was my underlying point. 
    Yeah I took "focusing on career" to just really mean, focusing on themselves and what they could do other than be baby machines.  
    hippiemom = goodness
  • brianlux said:
    Who do you consider educated?  The person who tried kindergarten felt it wasn't for them and dropped out, the grade 8 dropout, the high school drop out, someone with grade 12?  Got news for some of you there are people with less formal that is talented and amazing.  I worked with a fellow ... grade 8 education ...  He could fix and repair any vehicle, he pulled 50 grand a year.

    What about tradespeople, many of them would shock you with how much they make.

    What about farmers.  Many have very little education...but they run farms and feed us.

    What about truck drivers?  If you gotta, a truck brought it in most cases.









    Fucking hell.  Sorry that I can't get it to separate 
    I don't view that sort of comment about the grade level, but more about people acting like idiots and showing that they are "uneducated"
    My CEO never went to college.
    I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves.
    .guessing the same for Brian, but he can answer that.
    "I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves."  Nailed it!

    I did say something  about un-educated people have more kids.  I think that's true but maybe what I should have been more precise.  There are a lot of really great people of varying education levels who have had kids- many of them right here on these forums.  Some of the best people I have ever met have kids- my wife had a kid and she is smart, kind, and just naturally a good soul (not at all cranky like me!)  But if you work with the public or even just get out a lot, you see lot of really shitty parenting going on.  It's easy to spot.   I even see it a lot in the bookstore and we generally have a more intelligent customer base (because we sell books) than a lot of other shops (not to put other shops down, of course).

    As for school, there are stupid college graduates and brilliant drop outs.  School is only good for what you put into it and get out of it.  I hated high school but loved college, but it was just a matter of what I like doing a lot of the time.  Some of my very best friends and the best people I know have been drop outs. 

    And Meltdown, there are farmers like Lou Reed sings about in "Future Farmers of America" and there are farmers like my brother who is one of the smartest people I've ever met.  Wendell Berry is a Farmer and one of the most recognized authors of our time.  I don't think anyone is generalizing about  people's intelligence based on their job.  Shouldn't anyway.  Paul Westerberg, for example, was a janitor.  And he's a fucking genius too.

    The other thing to keep in mind is that there is a lot of information  showing that better educated women have fewer children.  There are plenty of studies showing that.  It's easy to find that info on the internet.  Check it out. 

    I think an important point about your last paragraph is that, just because better educated women tend to have fewer children, isn't necessarily because they are "smarter", it's because they are most likely more career-driven. 

    I can't imagine living in a time, as recently as the 60's, where if you didn't have kids you were considered some kind of fucking weirdo, as a female. Dudes were heralded for how studly they were. Women were pariahs. Now, it's leaning heavily on "do what makes you happy". Which I think is actually important for the world. We NEED more people not having kids. I honestly selfishly wanted more kids (probably just one more), our finances just dictated that we don't. I'm kind of glad we didn't. Now we're in a place where the 4 of us can afford to actually do things, like go on occasional trips, and fun in life. 

    I'll be honest, when I first joined facebook (now deleted), and found so many old friends, I was astounded at the number of women who weren't married and/or had no kids. I'm sure most by choice, some sadly not. It was ingrained in us that is just what you do; marry and have a family. Not pressured, that's just what you saw, in real life and on tv. Now it's finally evolved where women often aren't shamed for being single or childless. 

    No to your first point, because all over the world, when women are better educated they have fewer children, regardless of whether we are looking at developed or developing nations. Even where day to day survival is a challenge and no one is talking about a "career", better education leads to fewer children, because education opens up the realm of what else is possible.
    tomayto tomahto. 

    I wasn't really speaking about 3rd world countries, but the point remains, whether it's a career, or other possibilities, as you stated, that was my underlying point. 
    Yeah I took "focusing on career" to just really mean, focusing on themselves and what they could do other than be baby machines.  
    thank you. just the general notion of having many more doors open. 
    new album "Cigarettes" out Spring 2025!

    www.headstonesband.com




  • oftenreadingoftenreading Posts: 12,845
    brianlux said:
    Who do you consider educated?  The person who tried kindergarten felt it wasn't for them and dropped out, the grade 8 dropout, the high school drop out, someone with grade 12?  Got news for some of you there are people with less formal that is talented and amazing.  I worked with a fellow ... grade 8 education ...  He could fix and repair any vehicle, he pulled 50 grand a year.

    What about tradespeople, many of them would shock you with how much they make.

    What about farmers.  Many have very little education...but they run farms and feed us.

    What about truck drivers?  If you gotta, a truck brought it in most cases.









    Fucking hell.  Sorry that I can't get it to separate 
    I don't view that sort of comment about the grade level, but more about people acting like idiots and showing that they are "uneducated"
    My CEO never went to college.
    I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves.
    .guessing the same for Brian, but he can answer that.
    "I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves."  Nailed it!

    I did say something  about un-educated people have more kids.  I think that's true but maybe what I should have been more precise.  There are a lot of really great people of varying education levels who have had kids- many of them right here on these forums.  Some of the best people I have ever met have kids- my wife had a kid and she is smart, kind, and just naturally a good soul (not at all cranky like me!)  But if you work with the public or even just get out a lot, you see lot of really shitty parenting going on.  It's easy to spot.   I even see it a lot in the bookstore and we generally have a more intelligent customer base (because we sell books) than a lot of other shops (not to put other shops down, of course).

    As for school, there are stupid college graduates and brilliant drop outs.  School is only good for what you put into it and get out of it.  I hated high school but loved college, but it was just a matter of what I like doing a lot of the time.  Some of my very best friends and the best people I know have been drop outs. 

    And Meltdown, there are farmers like Lou Reed sings about in "Future Farmers of America" and there are farmers like my brother who is one of the smartest people I've ever met.  Wendell Berry is a Farmer and one of the most recognized authors of our time.  I don't think anyone is generalizing about  people's intelligence based on their job.  Shouldn't anyway.  Paul Westerberg, for example, was a janitor.  And he's a fucking genius too.

    The other thing to keep in mind is that there is a lot of information  showing that better educated women have fewer children.  There are plenty of studies showing that.  It's easy to find that info on the internet.  Check it out. 

    I think an important point about your last paragraph is that, just because better educated women tend to have fewer children, isn't necessarily because they are "smarter", it's because they are most likely more career-driven. 

    I can't imagine living in a time, as recently as the 60's, where if you didn't have kids you were considered some kind of fucking weirdo, as a female. Dudes were heralded for how studly they were. Women were pariahs. Now, it's leaning heavily on "do what makes you happy". Which I think is actually important for the world. We NEED more people not having kids. I honestly selfishly wanted more kids (probably just one more), our finances just dictated that we don't. I'm kind of glad we didn't. Now we're in a place where the 4 of us can afford to actually do things, like go on occasional trips, and fun in life. 

    I'll be honest, when I first joined facebook (now deleted), and found so many old friends, I was astounded at the number of women who weren't married and/or had no kids. I'm sure most by choice, some sadly not. It was ingrained in us that is just what you do; marry and have a family. Not pressured, that's just what you saw, in real life and on tv. Now it's finally evolved where women often aren't shamed for being single or childless. 

    No to your first point, because all over the world, when women are better educated they have fewer children, regardless of whether we are looking at developed or developing nations. Even where day to day survival is a challenge and no one is talking about a "career", better education leads to fewer children, because education opens up the realm of what else is possible.
    tomayto tomahto. 

    I wasn't really speaking about 3rd world countries, but the point remains, whether it's a career, or other possibilities, as you stated, that was my underlying point. 

    I know you weren't speaking about third world countries, which is why I made my point. It's a universal benefit of education. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,024
    brianlux said:
    Who do you consider educated?  The person who tried kindergarten felt it wasn't for them and dropped out, the grade 8 dropout, the high school drop out, someone with grade 12?  Got news for some of you there are people with less formal that is talented and amazing.  I worked with a fellow ... grade 8 education ...  He could fix and repair any vehicle, he pulled 50 grand a year.

    What about tradespeople, many of them would shock you with how much they make.

    What about farmers.  Many have very little education...but they run farms and feed us.

    What about truck drivers?  If you gotta, a truck brought it in most cases.









    Fucking hell.  Sorry that I can't get it to separate 
    I don't view that sort of comment about the grade level, but more about people acting like idiots and showing that they are "uneducated"
    My CEO never went to college.
    I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves.
    .guessing the same for Brian, but he can answer that.
    "I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves."  Nailed it!

    I did say something  about un-educated people have more kids.  I think that's true but maybe what I should have been more precise.  There are a lot of really great people of varying education levels who have had kids- many of them right here on these forums.  Some of the best people I have ever met have kids- my wife had a kid and she is smart, kind, and just naturally a good soul (not at all cranky like me!)  But if you work with the public or even just get out a lot, you see lot of really shitty parenting going on.  It's easy to spot.   I even see it a lot in the bookstore and we generally have a more intelligent customer base (because we sell books) than a lot of other shops (not to put other shops down, of course).

    As for school, there are stupid college graduates and brilliant drop outs.  School is only good for what you put into it and get out of it.  I hated high school but loved college, but it was just a matter of what I like doing a lot of the time.  Some of my very best friends and the best people I know have been drop outs. 

    And Meltdown, there are farmers like Lou Reed sings about in "Future Farmers of America" and there are farmers like my brother who is one of the smartest people I've ever met.  Wendell Berry is a Farmer and one of the most recognized authors of our time.  I don't think anyone is generalizing about  people's intelligence based on their job.  Shouldn't anyway.  Paul Westerberg, for example, was a janitor.  And he's a fucking genius too.

    The other thing to keep in mind is that there is a lot of information  showing that better educated women have fewer children.  There are plenty of studies showing that.  It's easy to find that info on the internet.  Check it out. 

    I think an important point about your last paragraph is that, just because better educated women tend to have fewer children, isn't necessarily because they are "smarter", it's because they are most likely more career-driven. 

    I can't imagine living in a time, as recently as the 60's, where if you didn't have kids you were considered some kind of fucking weirdo, as a female. Dudes were heralded for how studly they were. Women were pariahs. Now, it's leaning heavily on "do what makes you happy". Which I think is actually important for the world. We NEED more people not having kids. I honestly selfishly wanted more kids (probably just one more), our finances just dictated that we don't. I'm kind of glad we didn't. Now we're in a place where the 4 of us can afford to actually do things, like go on occasional trips, and fun in life. 

    I'll be honest, when I first joined facebook (now deleted), and found so many old friends, I was astounded at the number of women who weren't married and/or had no kids. I'm sure most by choice, some sadly not. It was ingrained in us that is just what you do; marry and have a family. Not pressured, that's just what you saw, in real life and on tv. Now it's finally evolved where women often aren't shamed for being single or childless. 

    No to your first point, because all over the world, when women are better educated they have fewer children, regardless of whether we are looking at developed or developing nations. Even where day to day survival is a challenge and no one is talking about a "career", better education leads to fewer children, because education opens up the realm of what else is possible.
    tomayto tomahto. 

    I wasn't really speaking about 3rd world countries, but the point remains, whether it's a career, or other possibilities, as you stated, that was my underlying point. 

    I know you weren't speaking about third world countries, which is why I made my point. It's a universal benefit of education. 
    I think you both were basically making the same point.  tomayto tomahto, as HFD said.  The bigger point is, it's a know fact that more educated women have fewer children.

    But, oh, how we love to discuss the fine points.  :lol:
    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 13,576
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    Just taught my three ten year olds how to surf, I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world. Having kids is the greatest/hardest thing ever. I don’t think it is selfish to have kids, to me it is the total opposite.  
    So you're saying that it is selfish not to have kids??
    Huh?  Where do you get?  I only talked about having kids.  To each their own but I stand by my opinion that It is selfless to have kids, not selfish. 
    I got if from the part about "to me it is the total opposite". I thought that could mean that you don't think it is selfish to have kids, but it's opposite, i.e. it is selfish not to have them. But now I understand what you meant. That's why I asked.
    Some people are 100% selfish about having kids though. It depends on the circumstances.
    Sorry for not being clear. I totally respect people who want to have kids and those who do not want kids.  I am definitely a “to each their own” person. 
    Werd.

    But btw, I don't believe that having kids is selfish in general, excluding those with the terrible reasons, but I also don't think at all that it is a selfless act. Procreation definitely has nothing to do with altruism. People get joy plus the comfort of carrying themselves on genetically, and to build on various pleasures and to fulfill perceived responsibilities and roles, so that alone makes it impossible for it to be selfless.

    I tend to disagree a little.  Having a kid, you change your whole life and they are your first thought on decisions, etc.  So nothing is 100% selfless...but raising a kid is pretty close for some.  Actually, for some having a child is 100% selfless...but those parents annoy me. ;)  
    Yeah, I get that aspect, but a child of your body is an extension of yourself both literally and figuratively so it is still self-serving IMNSHAIOTBO.
    In-my-not-so-humble-as-it-to-be-opinion.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • Yeah, as I think about this thread I scratch my head.
    Having kids is our biological reason for being.
    The instinct is to have them
    How is this selfish?
    I tried for years (and years) and finally got one.  FSM finally blessed me.
    Is he a jackass who runs around and makes my life difficult?
    Yeah.
    Would I fucking chop down anyone who wanted to harm him?
    Oh, hell yeah.
    He is the best thing I could hope to come out of my being on this planet.
    I make no judgement on those who don't want to have kids.
    I get it.
    However, saying, in general, that wanting to have kids is selfish?
    Jeebus.  That makes no sense to me.
    Blessed? Get the hell outta here! You finally figured out where to put it! Blessed.
    It doesn't go in the armpit?
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • dankinddankind Posts: 20,839
    Yeah, as I think about this thread I scratch my head.
    Having kids is our biological reason for being.
    The instinct is to have them
    How is this selfish?
    I tried for years (and years) and finally got one.  FSM finally blessed me.
    Is he a jackass who runs around and makes my life difficult?
    Yeah.
    Would I fucking chop down anyone who wanted to harm him?
    Oh, hell yeah.
    He is the best thing I could hope to come out of my being on this planet.
    I make no judgement on those who don't want to have kids.
    I get it.
    However, saying, in general, that wanting to have kids is selfish?
    Jeebus.  That makes no sense to me.
    Blessed? Get the hell outta here! You finally figured out where to put it! Blessed.
    It doesn't go in the armpit?
    Well, it does, I suppose. But babies are not made that way.

    Maybe an Alien Nation baby, I can't remember.
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 Posts: 10,739
    Who do you consider educated?  The person who tried kindergarten felt it wasn't for them and dropped out, the grade 8 dropout, the high school drop out, someone with grade 12?  Got news for some of you there are people with less formal that is talented and amazing.  I worked with a fellow ... grade 8 education ...  He could fix and repair any vehicle, he pulled 50 grand a year.

    What about tradespeople, many of them would shock you with how much they make.

    What about farmers.  Many have very little education...but they run farms and feed us.

    What about truck drivers?  If you gotta, a truck brought it in most cases.









    Fucking hell.  Sorry that I can't get it to separate 
    I don't view that sort of comment about the grade level, but more about people acting like idiots and showing that they are "uneducated"
    My CEO never went to college.
    I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves.
    .guessing the same for Brian, but he can answer that.
    You do know that there are plenty of well educated people who act like idiots daily and lack common sense.  I worked 25 years in schools around teachers and I have plenty oif stories of teachers being idiots...

    And as far as I'm concerned you can throw all the money you at womans causes to try to get them to have kids...which is bullshit.  Most of these cuntries where women have lots of children because children are their social safety net...in countries with no real social programs, the children look after their parents in thgeir golden years.

    And my point stands...you are an elite if you think your university eduacation trumps other skills...

    And one skill that I truely believe is hard work...

    I'm 53, grade 12, retired at 51, took a couple years off, decided it was time to get a job, took 2 weeks to land the job I wanted at a company that I believe in in an industry I fully support, I work for a Cannabis company.  I could easily outwork anyone with a university degree.  Come with me for a night.  I get paid good money.  See I got an rare skill these, called work ethic... The work ethic has gone missing lately And I work hard and my job is far more important than any banker, insursance con and scumbag lawyer.  

    Would I want to sit at a desk and shuffle papper work.  Fuck no.  

    Get a job that matters


    Give Peas A Chance…
  • Pot is more important than any banker or lawyer?
    Whatever.
    I'm glad that you are happy and have such a high opinion of yourself/what you do.
    I don't share the same opinion relative to the importance of pot.
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,024
    Who do you consider educated?  The person who tried kindergarten felt it wasn't for them and dropped out, the grade 8 dropout, the high school drop out, someone with grade 12?  Got news for some of you there are people with less formal that is talented and amazing.  I worked with a fellow ... grade 8 education ...  He could fix and repair any vehicle, he pulled 50 grand a year.

    What about tradespeople, many of them would shock you with how much they make.

    What about farmers.  Many have very little education...but they run farms and feed us.

    What about truck drivers?  If you gotta, a truck brought it in most cases.









    Fucking hell.  Sorry that I can't get it to separate 
    I don't view that sort of comment about the grade level, but more about people acting like idiots and showing that they are "uneducated"
    My CEO never went to college.
    I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves.
    .guessing the same for Brian, but he can answer that.
    You do know that there are plenty of well educated people who act like idiots daily and lack common sense.  I worked 25 years in schools around teachers and I have plenty oif stories of teachers being idiots...

    And as far as I'm concerned you can throw all the money you at womans causes to try to get them to have kids...which is bullshit.  Most of these cuntries where women have lots of children because children are their social safety net...in countries with no real social programs, the children look after their parents in thgeir golden years.

    And my point stands...you are an elite if you think your university eduacation trumps other skills...

    And one skill that I truely believe is hard work...

    I'm 53, grade 12, retired at 51, took a couple years off, decided it was time to get a job, took 2 weeks to land the job I wanted at a company that I believe in in an industry I fully support, I work for a Cannabis company.  I could easily outwork anyone with a university degree.  Come with me for a night.  I get paid good money.  See I got an rare skill these, called work ethic... The work ethic has gone missing lately And I work hard and my job is far more important than any banker, insursance con and scumbag lawyer.  

    Would I want to sit at a desk and shuffle papper work.  Fuck no.  

    Get a job that matters


    You may or may not have some good points here but I'd need an interpreter to know for sure. 
    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 Posts: 10,739
    Pot is more important than any banker or lawyer?
    Whatever.
    I'm glad that you are happy and have such a high opinion of yourself/what you do.
    I don't share the same opinion relative to the importance of pot.
    Damn right it is...it actually helps people in a good way...you do not think that the most plant in the world and is natural and thousands of people get relief by using cannabis.  But an awful lot of Pharma is plant-based...but that ok.  Those Pharmaceutical kill people every day.  Yea, it's an important job.

    And its a hell of a lot safer than booze.

    How many pharmaceutical companies used their lawyers to help them keep a perfectly safe and harmful product away from.  Bankers and their shady lending practices lead people into bankruptcy...

    I especially love how banks with credit cards target people who run high balances.
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 Posts: 10,739
    brianlux said:
    Who do you consider educated?  The person who tried kindergarten felt it wasn't for them and dropped out, the grade 8 dropout, the high school drop out, someone with grade 12?  Got news for some of you there are people with less formal that is talented and amazing.  I worked with a fellow ... grade 8 education ...  He could fix and repair any vehicle, he pulled 50 grand a year.

    What about tradespeople, many of them would shock you with how much they make.

    What about farmers.  Many have very little education...but they run farms and feed us.

    What about truck drivers?  If you gotta, a truck brought it in most cases.









    Fucking hell.  Sorry that I can't get it to separate 
    I don't view that sort of comment about the grade level, but more about people acting like idiots and showing that they are "uneducated"
    My CEO never went to college.
    I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves.
    .guessing the same for Brian, but he can answer that.
    You do know that there are plenty of well educated people who act like idiots daily and lack common sense.  I worked 25 years in schools around teachers and I have plenty oif stories of teachers being idiots...

    And as far as I'm concerned you can throw all the money you at womans causes to try to get them to have kids...which is bullshit.  Most of these cuntries where women have lots of children because children are their social safety net...in countries with no real social programs, the children look after their parents in thgeir golden years.

    And my point stands...you are an elite if you think your university eduacation trumps other skills...

    And one skill that I truely believe is hard work...

    I'm 53, grade 12, retired at 51, took a couple years off, decided it was time to get a job, took 2 weeks to land the job I wanted at a company that I believe in in an industry I fully support, I work for a Cannabis company.  I could easily outwork anyone with a university degree.  Come with me for a night.  I get paid good money.  See I got an rare skill these, called work ethic... The work ethic has gone missing lately And I work hard and my job is far more important than any banker, insursance con and scumbag lawyer.  

    Would I want to sit at a desk and shuffle papper work.  Fuck no.  

    Get a job that matters


    You may or may not have some good points here but I'd need an interpreter to know for sure. 
    Dude.  I do not care what your opinion is.  As far as I'm concerned you are elites...so go be pissed off at someone else.  I read that somewhere.  Jeesh.  By the way, I can go back and forth all day.
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • Pot is more important than any banker or lawyer?
    Whatever.
    I'm glad that you are happy and have such a high opinion of yourself/what you do.
    I don't share the same opinion relative to the importance of pot.
    Damn right it is...it actually helps people in a good way...you do not think that the most plant in the world and is natural and thousands of people get relief by using cannabis.  But an awful lot of Pharma is plant-based...but that ok.  Those Pharmaceutical kill people every day.  Yea, it's an important job.

    And its a hell of a lot safer than booze.

    How many pharmaceutical companies used their lawyers to help them keep a perfectly safe and harmful product away from.  Bankers and their shady lending practices lead people into bankruptcy...

    I especially love how banks with credit cards target people who run high balances.
    This is odd.  We will just have to disagree.
    You have your pot and I will side with people who help facilitate businesses and finance, along with the many (many)lawyers who help people have a voice and stand up for their rights every day.
    I'm not anti-pot, at all I believe people should be able to use it in any way they see fit.  
    We all can have our opinions...but it doesn't make them true.
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 Posts: 10,739
    You dot think lawyers are scum.  Lawyers in Alabama were responsible for a man spending 36 years in prison for stealing 50 dollars.  I can guarantee there are plenty more like that are sitting and rotting because of fucking lawyers...
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • I also do not take offense at being called "elites."


    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • No, I do not think the profession Lawyer makes a person scum.
    Saying that is silly.

    People can be scums.  You don't think there have been plenty of people in the pot business who were scums?
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    No, I do not think the profession Lawyer makes a person scum.
    Saying that is silly.

    People can be scums.  You don't think there have been plenty of people in the pot business who were scums?
    No, no, no.  That industry is squeaky-clean ;)

    How the subject of having children devolved into assumptions and infantile "elitist!" finger-pointing, I dunno.
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Posts: 12,845
    You dot think lawyers are scum.  Lawyers in Alabama were responsible for a man spending 36 years in prison for stealing 50 dollars.  I can guarantee there are plenty more like that are sitting and rotting because of fucking lawyers...
    And lawyers got him released.

    Are those lawyers scum, too?
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 13,576
    Chernobyl lol
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 13,576
    I didn't know potheads could be so angry all the time!
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • rgambs said:
    I didn't know potheads could be so angry all the time!
    Perhaps angry potheads would be selfish to have kids?
    Donno, just seeking some sort of return to topic.
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • benjsbenjs Posts: 9,144
    Who do you consider educated?  The person who tried kindergarten felt it wasn't for them and dropped out, the grade 8 dropout, the high school drop out, someone with grade 12?  Got news for some of you there are people with less formal that is talented and amazing.  I worked with a fellow ... grade 8 education ...  He could fix and repair any vehicle, he pulled 50 grand a year.

    What about tradespeople, many of them would shock you with how much they make.

    What about farmers.  Many have very little education...but they run farms and feed us.

    What about truck drivers?  If you gotta, a truck brought it in most cases.









    Fucking hell.  Sorry that I can't get it to separate 
    I don't view that sort of comment about the grade level, but more about people acting like idiots and showing that they are "uneducated"
    My CEO never went to college.
    I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves.
    .guessing the same for Brian, but he can answer that.
    You do know that there are plenty of well educated people who act like idiots daily and lack common sense.  I worked 25 years in schools around teachers and I have plenty oif stories of teachers being idiots...

    And as far as I'm concerned you can throw all the money you at womans causes to try to get them to have kids...which is bullshit.  Most of these cuntries where women have lots of children because children are their social safety net...in countries with no real social programs, the children look after their parents in thgeir golden years.

    And my point stands...you are an elite if you think your university eduacation trumps other skills...

    And one skill that I truely believe is hard work...

    I'm 53, grade 12, retired at 51, took a couple years off, decided it was time to get a job, took 2 weeks to land the job I wanted at a company that I believe in in an industry I fully support, I work for a Cannabis company.  I could easily outwork anyone with a university degree.  Come with me for a night.  I get paid good money.  See I got an rare skill these, called work ethic... The work ethic has gone missing lately And I work hard and my job is far more important than any banker, insursance con and scumbag lawyer.  

    Would I want to sit at a desk and shuffle papper work.  Fuck no.  

    Get a job that matters


    First, I'm not sure what makes you want to brag about your profession as being 'better' than anyone else's. 

    Next, your suggestion that work ethic is a skill is wrong. Your work ethic is something worth being proud of, but that's character, not skill. 

    Finally, are you suggesting that having a desk job somehow means your work doesn't matter? I really hope not, as that's false.

    '05 - TO, '06 - TO 1, '08 - NYC 1 & 2, '09 - TO, Chi 1 & 2, '10 - Buffalo, NYC 1 & 2, '11 - TO 1 & 2, Hamilton, '13 - Buffalo, Brooklyn 1 & 2, '15 - Global Citizen, '16 - TO 1 & 2, Chi 2

    EV
    Toronto Film Festival 9/11/2007, '08 - Toronto 1 & 2, '09 - Albany 1, '11 - Chicago 1
  • benjsbenjs Posts: 9,144
    One more last thing.. Who's saying university education trumps other skills? It opens doors, teaches you to learn, equips you to pick up skills easier, and helps you understand the foundations behind the skills you want to know, but it doesn't pay the bills. Essentially, education helps your odds of success but it's still up to a person to walk the walk.
    '05 - TO, '06 - TO 1, '08 - NYC 1 & 2, '09 - TO, Chi 1 & 2, '10 - Buffalo, NYC 1 & 2, '11 - TO 1 & 2, Hamilton, '13 - Buffalo, Brooklyn 1 & 2, '15 - Global Citizen, '16 - TO 1 & 2, Chi 2

    EV
    Toronto Film Festival 9/11/2007, '08 - Toronto 1 & 2, '09 - Albany 1, '11 - Chicago 1
  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 13,576
    Is it elitist to trust that your doctor, your dentist, your optometrist, your accountant knows more than you because they got a college education?  
    Asking for a friend.

    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,024
    brianlux said:
    Who do you consider educated?  The person who tried kindergarten felt it wasn't for them and dropped out, the grade 8 dropout, the high school drop out, someone with grade 12?  Got news for some of you there are people with less formal that is talented and amazing.  I worked with a fellow ... grade 8 education ...  He could fix and repair any vehicle, he pulled 50 grand a year.

    What about tradespeople, many of them would shock you with how much they make.

    What about farmers.  Many have very little education...but they run farms and feed us.

    What about truck drivers?  If you gotta, a truck brought it in most cases.









    Fucking hell.  Sorry that I can't get it to separate 
    I don't view that sort of comment about the grade level, but more about people acting like idiots and showing that they are "uneducated"
    My CEO never went to college.
    I don't put an emphasis on schooling, but on how someone behaves.
    .guessing the same for Brian, but he can answer that.
    You do know that there are plenty of well educated people who act like idiots daily and lack common sense.  I worked 25 years in schools around teachers and I have plenty oif stories of teachers being idiots...

    And as far as I'm concerned you can throw all the money you at womans causes to try to get them to have kids...which is bullshit.  Most of these cuntries where women have lots of children because children are their social safety net...in countries with no real social programs, the children look after their parents in thgeir golden years.

    And my point stands...you are an elite if you think your university eduacation trumps other skills...

    And one skill that I truely believe is hard work...

    I'm 53, grade 12, retired at 51, took a couple years off, decided it was time to get a job, took 2 weeks to land the job I wanted at a company that I believe in in an industry I fully support, I work for a Cannabis company.  I could easily outwork anyone with a university degree.  Come with me for a night.  I get paid good money.  See I got an rare skill these, called work ethic... The work ethic has gone missing lately And I work hard and my job is far more important than any banker, insursance con and scumbag lawyer.  

    Would I want to sit at a desk and shuffle papper work.  Fuck no.  

    Get a job that matters


    You may or may not have some good points here but I'd need an interpreter to know for sure. 
    Dude.  I do not care what your opinion is.  As far as I'm concerned you are elites...so go be pissed off at someone else.  I read that somewhere.  Jeesh.  By the way, I can go back and forth all day.
    Where did I say I was pissed off?  I'm elites?  What's that?  Where are you going back and forth to?

    Maybe lay off the weed, bud.  ("Bud"-- get it?  :lol: )
    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • :lol:
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • the ignore feature is there for a good reason, folks. 
    new album "Cigarettes" out Spring 2025!

    www.headstonesband.com




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