Farts

Gern Blansten

Malroth said:

Gern Blansten said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Gern Blansten said:

pearljammr78 said:

When I was in the service years ago. I had been drinking like a savage while eating shitty for days. Needless to say my stomach was hurting. I was in a Target in the clothes section and all of a sudden, immense pressure on my balloon knot. So I let the hottest, hold your butt checks together so nothing else falls out in the process, epic fart. Just then I see people walking over to where I’m at. So I book it and hide behind a rack of clothes. All of a sudden this guy yells. “Holy shit! It fucking stinks here!” And this lady yells back, “ Oh my god, and it’s everywhere, I can’t get away from it!” 
Needless to say, I fell over laughing trying not to be seen or heard. But so proud and ashamed of myself at the same time. I smile big 20+ years later every time it crosses my mind. Booze and bad food= death farts. 

Nice....I rarely fart in the office but I think I had a similar issue.  Just one of those times I couldn't hold it in and I probably thought I could get away with it.

I just can't believe the people that fart at concerts or any event where people are seated close together.  Of course I'm also always surprised at the number of people I notice taking shits at concerts or games, etc.  

what's weird about shitting at a concert? if ya gotta go, ya gotta go. 

It just doesn't seem like the proper place.  My system is like clockwork though.  I crap every morning when I get up so I don't ever have to put myself in a situation where I don't crap at home.  

I could probably count the number of times I have crapped in a gas station on one hand.

So....how many times have you crapped on one hand in a gas station?   and is it usually your own?

LOL

eeriepadave

pearljammr78 said:

Type your comment

Will the Farter on the Howard Stern Show is a farting legend. 

Speaking of Howard Stern. Don't forget Fartman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cd5qTx-jtA&t

pearljammr78

Lol. Those stories are hilarious. And who could ever forget the mighty Fartman!!! 

Gern Blansten

Stern said that he was really bummed out that Luke Perry wouldn't appear in Private Parts to recreate that scene....John Stamos took his place

tbergs

Speaking of farts, Antonio Brown committed another no-no.

https://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2019/09/17/pittsburgh-doctor-claims-antonio-brown-repeatedly-farted-in-his-face-owes-him-11500/

pearljammr78

Luke Perry should have done it. It would him so much cooler in my eyes. But I did really like 8 seconds. Good cheesy movie. 

Spiritual_Chaos

https://youtu.be/_2p1Q3vDnfA

eeriepadave

another Family Guy reference

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVw1qtqgVyY

eeriepadave

few movies about farting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0Z7z1a06f4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbMLW4s2pBg

hrd2imgn

The juvenile in me never left when it comes to farts and fart humor.

brianlux

We used to have a yellow lab who, when she farted, would try to run away from her farts like they were something that was coming after her.  Funny as all get out.  Wish I had a video of that!

mickeyrat

Had a St Bernard as a kid.Heidi would fart in her sleep. Shit could strip paint. Really REALLY FOUL.

She would wake herself up when she smelled it then look around accusingly at whoever was in the room......

pjhawks

fartsmakemegiggle was hands down the greatest screen name on this site.

tempo_n_groove

I am not sure if this was posted but there was a time when Leslie Neilsen went around during interviews, using a fart noise maker.  I do remember Bill Bellamy of MTV being absolutely HYSTERICAL when he did this.  There was a famous actress or model that thought it was so funny that she adopted the practice too.

Here is one when he was on the Morning show
https://youtu.be/5egaR4WvLPY

tempo_n_groove

I found some more on it.
https://entertainment.ie/cinema/movie-news/leslie-nielsen-fart-machine-416590/

DarthMaeglin

Now this is a thread I can really get behind, lol! Thanks OP!

One time we sitting around smoking and toking and our Pitbull turned around and looked at us as his butthole irised open and closed. We soon found ourselves out on the back step, lol.

hedonist

I have never heard a fart described so beautifully, Darth

tempo_n_groove

I have this elaborate way of letting one go.

I pretend I am a sumo wrestler.  hunch down, lift my leg and grab it, set it down.  Lift the other leg grab it and set it down.  Then I hunch down in the ready position and with the set position and punch to the floor, I let er rip. 

Gern Blansten

My daughter will burst into the room doing cheerleader kicks and rip one during a high kick....always funny

pearljammr78

Always funny. That reminds me of the morning 20 years ago when my buddies and I have been drinking hard all night, the night before. And the next morning 2 of us were sitting on each side of the couch all hung over. All of a sudden another dude runs into the room, does a little headstand between us on the couch and just rips a monster. Loud and crisp. Feet fall back to the floor, stands up and runs back out of the room. Goes back to sleep. Never said a word. Twenty years later and I still laugh every time I think about it. 

eeriepadave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9yX4wpAAbQ

BIGDaddyWil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnIvrYTbK0M

pearljammr78

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

eeriepadave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSXGfIeryPM

eeriepadave

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/KsmyiEEaz_g

HughFreakingDillon

years ago, the way our cubicles at work were arranged, 6 people, two rows, the person behind you faced your back. I needed to rip one. Knew it would be silent. Just lifted my left and let it go. Turned around and my female colleague was standing at the time, looking directly at me. Never let one go in my cube again. 

Gern Blansten

HughFreakingDillon said:

years ago, the way our cubicles at work were arranged, 6 people, two rows, the person behind you faced your back. I needed to rip one. Knew it would be silent. Just lifted my left and let it go. Turned around and my female colleague was standing at the time, looking directly at me. Never let one go in my cube again. 

lol...similar story.

In my office there was a large cabinet where all the office supplies were stored. I'm at my desk one day and rip a silent nuclear death fart. One of the staffers came in a minute later to grab some supplies. I was horrified that she smelled that satanic shit cloud.

Later I heard laughing coming out of another office and was sure that she was talking about my nasty fart but I'm sure she wasn't because there was no way she would laugh about it. Vomit maybe.

eeriepadave