Farts

124

Comments

  • Gern Blansten
    Gern Blansten Mar-A-Lago Posts: 22,651
    Malroth said:
    Gern Blansten said:
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    Gern Blansten said:
    pearljammr78 said:
    When I was in the service years ago. I had been drinking like a savage while eating shitty for days. Needless to say my stomach was hurting. I was in a Target in the clothes section and all of a sudden, immense pressure on my balloon knot. So I let the hottest, hold your butt checks together so nothing else falls out in the process, epic fart. Just then I see people walking over to where I’m at. So I book it and hide behind a rack of clothes. All of a sudden this guy yells. “Holy shit! It fucking stinks here!” And this lady yells back, “ Oh my god, and it’s everywhere, I can’t get away from it!” 
    Needless to say, I fell over laughing trying not to be seen or heard. But so proud and ashamed of myself at the same time. I smile big 20+ years later every time it crosses my mind. Booze and bad food= death farts. 
    Nice....I rarely fart in the office but I think I had a similar issue.  Just one of those times I couldn't hold it in and I probably thought I could get away with it.

    I just can't believe the people that fart at concerts or any event where people are seated close together.  Of course I'm also always surprised at the number of people I notice taking shits at concerts or games, etc.  
    what's weird about shitting at a concert? if ya gotta go, ya gotta go. 
    It just doesn't seem like the proper place.  My system is like clockwork though.  I crap every morning when I get up so I don't ever have to put myself in a situation where I don't crap at home.  

    I could probably count the number of times I have crapped in a gas station on one hand.
    So....how many times have you crapped on one hand in a gas station? :o  and is it usually your own?
    LOL
    Remember the Thomas Nine !! (10/02/2018)
    The Golden Age is 2 months away. And guess what….. you’re gonna love it! (teskeinc 11.19.24)

    1998: Noblesville; 2003: Noblesville; 2009: EV Nashville, Chicago, Chicago
    2010: St Louis, Columbus, Noblesville; 2011: EV Chicago, East Troy, East Troy
    2013: London ON, Wrigley; 2014: Cincy, St Louis, Moline (NO CODE)
    2016: Lexington, Wrigley #1; 2018: Wrigley, Wrigley, Boston, Boston
    2020: Oakland, Oakland:  2021: EV Ohana, Ohana, Ohana, Ohana
    2022: Oakland, Oakland, Nashville, Louisville; 2023: Chicago, Chicago, Noblesville
    2024: Noblesville, Wrigley, Wrigley, Ohana, Ohana; 2025: Pitt1, Pitt2
  • eeriepadave
    eeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 43,503
    edited February 2020
    pearljammr78 said:
    Type your comment

    Will the Farter on the Howard Stern Show is a farting legend. 
    Speaking of Howard Stern. Don't forget Fartman


    Post edited by eeriepadave on
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • pearljammr78
    pearljammr78 Posts: 1,613
    Lol. Those stories are hilarious. And who could ever forget the mighty Fartman!!! 
    Peace,Love and Pearl Jam.
  • Gern Blansten
    Gern Blansten Mar-A-Lago Posts: 22,651
    Stern said that he was really bummed out that Luke Perry wouldn't appear in Private Parts to recreate that scene....John Stamos took his place
    Remember the Thomas Nine !! (10/02/2018)
    The Golden Age is 2 months away. And guess what….. you’re gonna love it! (teskeinc 11.19.24)

    1998: Noblesville; 2003: Noblesville; 2009: EV Nashville, Chicago, Chicago
    2010: St Louis, Columbus, Noblesville; 2011: EV Chicago, East Troy, East Troy
    2013: London ON, Wrigley; 2014: Cincy, St Louis, Moline (NO CODE)
    2016: Lexington, Wrigley #1; 2018: Wrigley, Wrigley, Boston, Boston
    2020: Oakland, Oakland:  2021: EV Ohana, Ohana, Ohana, Ohana
    2022: Oakland, Oakland, Nashville, Louisville; 2023: Chicago, Chicago, Noblesville
    2024: Noblesville, Wrigley, Wrigley, Ohana, Ohana; 2025: Pitt1, Pitt2
  • tbergs
    tbergs Posts: 10,479
    Speaking of farts, Antonio Brown committed another no-no.

    https://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2019/09/17/pittsburgh-doctor-claims-antonio-brown-repeatedly-farted-in-his-face-owes-him-11500/
    It's a hopeless situation...
  • pearljammr78
    pearljammr78 Posts: 1,613
    Luke Perry should have done it. It would him so much cooler in my eyes. But I did really like 8 seconds. Good cheesy movie. 
    Peace,Love and Pearl Jam.
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,627
    https://youtu.be/_2p1Q3vDnfA
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • eeriepadave
    eeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 43,503
    another Family Guy reference :lol:


    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • eeriepadave
    eeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 43,503
    few movies about farting


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbMLW4s2pBg


    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • hrd2imgn
    hrd2imgn Southwest Burbs of Chicago Posts: 4,925
    The juvenile in me never left when it comes to farts and fart humor.
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,716
    We used to have a yellow lab who, when she farted, would try to run away from her farts like they were something that was coming after her.  Funny as all get out.  Wish I had a video of that!
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,988
    Had a St Bernard as a kid.Heidi would fart in her sleep. Shit could strip paint. Really REALLY FOUL.

    She would wake herself up when she smelled it then look around accusingly at whoever was in the room......
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • pjhawks
    pjhawks Posts: 13,021
    fartsmakemegiggle was hands down the greatest screen name on this site.
  • tempo_n_groove
    tempo_n_groove Posts: 41,732
    I am not sure if this was posted but there was a time when Leslie Neilsen went around during interviews, using a fart noise maker.  I do remember Bill Bellamy of MTV being absolutely HYSTERICAL when he did this.  There was a famous actress or model that thought it was so funny that she adopted the practice too.

    Here is one when he was on the Morning show
    https://youtu.be/5egaR4WvLPY
  • tempo_n_groove
    tempo_n_groove Posts: 41,732
    I found some more on it.
    https://entertainment.ie/cinema/movie-news/leslie-nielsen-fart-machine-416590/
  • DarthMaeglin
    DarthMaeglin Toronto Posts: 3,040
    Now this is a thread I can really get behind, lol! Thanks OP!

    One time we sitting around smoking and toking and our Pitbull turned around and looked at us as his butthole irised open and closed. We soon found ourselves out on the back step, lol.
    "The world is full of idiots and I am but one of them."

    10-30-1991 Toronto, Toronto 1 & 2 2016, Toronto 2022
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    I have never heard a fart described so beautifully, Darth :lol:
  • tempo_n_groove
    tempo_n_groove Posts: 41,732
    I have this elaborate way of letting one go.

    I pretend I am a sumo wrestler.  hunch down, lift my leg and grab it, set it down.  Lift the other leg grab it and set it down.  Then I hunch down in the ready position and with the set position and punch to the floor, I let er rip. 
  • Gern Blansten
    Gern Blansten Mar-A-Lago Posts: 22,651
    My daughter will burst into the room doing cheerleader kicks and rip one during a high kick....always funny
    Remember the Thomas Nine !! (10/02/2018)
    The Golden Age is 2 months away. And guess what….. you’re gonna love it! (teskeinc 11.19.24)

    1998: Noblesville; 2003: Noblesville; 2009: EV Nashville, Chicago, Chicago
    2010: St Louis, Columbus, Noblesville; 2011: EV Chicago, East Troy, East Troy
    2013: London ON, Wrigley; 2014: Cincy, St Louis, Moline (NO CODE)
    2016: Lexington, Wrigley #1; 2018: Wrigley, Wrigley, Boston, Boston
    2020: Oakland, Oakland:  2021: EV Ohana, Ohana, Ohana, Ohana
    2022: Oakland, Oakland, Nashville, Louisville; 2023: Chicago, Chicago, Noblesville
    2024: Noblesville, Wrigley, Wrigley, Ohana, Ohana; 2025: Pitt1, Pitt2
  • pearljammr78
    pearljammr78 Posts: 1,613
    Always funny. That reminds me of the morning 20 years ago when my buddies and I have been drinking hard all night, the night before. And the next morning 2 of us were sitting on each side of the couch all hung over. All of a sudden another dude runs into the room, does a little headstand between us on the couch and just rips a monster. Loud and crisp. Feet fall back to the floor, stands up and runs back out of the room. Goes back to sleep. Never said a word. Twenty years later and I still laugh every time I think about it. 
    Peace,Love and Pearl Jam.

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