Farts

Renfield

rollings said:

I played "take me out to the ballgame " last night on my son's fart piano.

May we get the audio please?

Glorified KC

https://youtu.be/SVLuknsncR4

pearljammr78

rollings said:

I played "take me out to the ballgame " last night on my son's fart piano.

Awesome!!! Reminds me of Gene on Bobs Burgers. 

dankind

https://youtu.be/l88AL3GJFCg

Gary Carter

I once sharted on the way home from work

Annafalk

Don’t forget to start your engines 

pearljammr78

Sharts, the sneakiest and worst of all farts. My condolences. 

eeriepadave

dankind said:

https://youtu.be/l88AL3GJFCg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAbtPr_77Pc

Also can't forget the farting preacher

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-JjaAh0NeU

Annafalk

Gern Blansten

pearljammr78 said:

Ok. I’m 40 years old and while I thought I would grow out of it, I haven’t. Farts are just god damn funny. Funny word, funny sounds, funny torture to those in the kill zone. Just funny. So here’s to all things farts. 💨

Why no matter how rank a fart is. When it’s your own you kinda love the smell. You know it’s deadly but you bask in it like, I did that. Some sort of pride. But someone else’s fart no matter the smell or the size is repulsive and sometimes gag inducing. Some mysteries may never be solved. 

This thread is not meant to offend or gross anyone out. More of a good old fart joke. 

Mods: Delete if any rules have been broken. My apologies. Just find farts funny. Lol

I will always laugh at farts.  If I fart on my deathbed I will laugh.

That being said...I do not love the smell.  I think you should talk to a doctor about that part.

Gern Blansten

Reminds me of my second job out of college.  I would have been about 26 or so.

There were 8 of us in an office suite.  My office just happened to be a little larger than a few of the others so it contained a large cabinet where all of the office supplies were stored.  If someone needed a pen or staples or something they would pop in and grab them from the cabinet.

One day I was at my desk and let a fart go that probably steamed up the windows.  Just god awful stench.

About 30 seconds after releasing it a nice looking young (female) staffer came in to get into the cabinet.  To say I was embarrassed would be an understatement.  I can't imagine that she didn't get a whiff of that monster but the awkwardness after that was uncomfortable.

pearljammr78

All of these stories are hilarious. Ha ha ha

lastexitlondon

Im not a fan.
But  this thread  made me laugh and made me think of my dear auntie. She fuckin loves em. And once her and her youngest saved up farts in a jar for months . And when the elder son fell asleep one day.  Opened and held to his nose. 
Not for everyone these things.  And  i did laugh  at tempos post . And i too wonder about this itchy shoot if you  will!

HesCalledDyer

I once came up with a concept for a recurring television short called Rock & Rumble where it's just a group of like 2-5 people sitting on a big front porch in rocking chairs just ripping farts and laughing for about 10 minutes.  No words, no conversation, no plot.  Just rockin' & rumblin'.

mickeyrat

this dude in my office. just fucking atrocious. I am seriously what the actual fuck are you eating. Am hestitant to go to hr though.

pearljammr78

When I was in the service years ago. I had been drinking like a savage while eating shitty for days. Needless to say my stomach was hurting. I was in a Target in the clothes section and all of a sudden, immense pressure on my balloon knot. So I let the hottest, hold your butt checks together so nothing else falls out in the process, epic fart. Just then I see people walking over to where I’m at. So I book it and hide behind a rack of clothes. All of a sudden this guy yells. “Holy shit! It fucking stinks here!” And this lady yells back, “ Oh my god, and it’s everywhere, I can’t get away from it!” 
Needless to say, I fell over laughing trying not to be seen or heard. But so proud and ashamed of myself at the same time. I smile big 20+ years later every time it crosses my mind. Booze and bad food= death farts. 

dankind

I try to always leave one in the revolving door or elevator before I exit at my office building.

Gern Blansten

pearljammr78 said:

When I was in the service years ago. I had been drinking like a savage while eating shitty for days. Needless to say my stomach was hurting. I was in a Target in the clothes section and all of a sudden, immense pressure on my balloon knot. So I let the hottest, hold your butt checks together so nothing else falls out in the process, epic fart. Just then I see people walking over to where I’m at. So I book it and hide behind a rack of clothes. All of a sudden this guy yells. “Holy shit! It fucking stinks here!” And this lady yells back, “ Oh my god, and it’s everywhere, I can’t get away from it!” 
Needless to say, I fell over laughing trying not to be seen or heard. But so proud and ashamed of myself at the same time. I smile big 20+ years later every time it crosses my mind. Booze and bad food= death farts. 

Nice....I rarely fart in the office but I think I had a similar issue.  Just one of those times I couldn't hold it in and I probably thought I could get away with it.

I just can't believe the people that fart at concerts or any event where people are seated close together.  Of course I'm also always surprised at the number of people I notice taking shits at concerts or games, etc.  

HughFreakingDillon

pearljammr78 said:

When I was in the service years ago. I had been drinking like a savage while eating shitty for days. Needless to say my stomach was hurting. I was in a Target in the clothes section and all of a sudden, immense pressure on my balloon knot. So I let the hottest, hold your butt checks together so nothing else falls out in the process, epic fart. Just then I see people walking over to where I’m at. So I book it and hide behind a rack of clothes. All of a sudden this guy yells. “Holy shit! It fucking stinks here!” And this lady yells back, “ Oh my god, and it’s everywhere, I can’t get away from it!” 
Needless to say, I fell over laughing trying not to be seen or heard. But so proud and ashamed of myself at the same time. I smile big 20+ years later every time it crosses my mind. Booze and bad food= death farts. 

I'm dying! LMAO

HughFreakingDillon

Gern Blansten said:

pearljammr78 said:

When I was in the service years ago. I had been drinking like a savage while eating shitty for days. Needless to say my stomach was hurting. I was in a Target in the clothes section and all of a sudden, immense pressure on my balloon knot. So I let the hottest, hold your butt checks together so nothing else falls out in the process, epic fart. Just then I see people walking over to where I’m at. So I book it and hide behind a rack of clothes. All of a sudden this guy yells. “Holy shit! It fucking stinks here!” And this lady yells back, “ Oh my god, and it’s everywhere, I can’t get away from it!” 
Needless to say, I fell over laughing trying not to be seen or heard. But so proud and ashamed of myself at the same time. I smile big 20+ years later every time it crosses my mind. Booze and bad food= death farts. 

Nice....I rarely fart in the office but I think I had a similar issue.  Just one of those times I couldn't hold it in and I probably thought I could get away with it.

I just can't believe the people that fart at concerts or any event where people are seated close together.  Of course I'm also always surprised at the number of people I notice taking shits at concerts or games, etc.  

what's weird about shitting at a concert? if ya gotta go, ya gotta go.