RIP CHADWICK

F Me In The Brain

rollings said:

Harpsichord part II

chadwickchadwick
November 2012 
and so the harpsichords played
sounding like butterflies and desperate hands of silk
the fluttering so gentle
the chaos so simple
the sounds so delightful yet dangerous and simply out of tune rather quickly

the notes lost alongside each piece of pain
as if insane to the wolves challenging moonlight or raindrops
and again this is her sounding ride
she will take all of me inside of her as if the lake ancient and drowning her and i

ages have flew
cages have sunk beneath
this our love locked lips
our goals
our glooming city of no name
the titleless environment
still beautiful in sound
one's ears have a chance to escape run away
or simply stay put
ride the shadow of stillness
empty your minds and explore the foundation of plenty through empty

and so when the daily newspaper print many vacancies
the sound heard will be bach & handel
water music on choirs
against every altar
with blasting rituals
some with blood & bones
horns & collective clovers from the nearby wood

here some tiny mushrooms gather in great numbers taking over
as if a stump of hickory or oak
sometimes barbwire feels like rubbing me down in laughter
again without ability to movement & have
i am torn to bits as pleasure fills with sound
old and new fingers
age and the end
youth & the maze of life
the ear blood the surprise
the again the picture the free & the desperate coin begging to be spent
the eaten bread
soup cold and ready

sound sound harpsichord sound
lost sound
wilderness pain & sun filled blankets cover each stool
present or void of serpent
the hungry worm
rotten apple tree & rainbow of a homeward bound trail

somehow our meeting of a sexual nature was spoiled to the core
yet as beautiful as personalized envelopes struggle for our opening
yours with mine inside
sword to the wound
blood to the brace
uplifted hips to my lips
cups of tea the musical taste of following love
simple honeybees gathered next to harpsichords out in the wilds
the fragrant pillows they spoke here
said were our skin
spoken were our souls
the next daisies were up
all the colors budding to the sounds
each piece was at peace
your lips my ending where i died
your mouth that took my very life
no safety net holding us tight
and in this picture old men collected our senses at the foot of this insane instrument
the mind of its own
the wizard of sound
the ride of carnival
and of each one a lover to the other
all of you and all of me between the miles compressed into a few solid inches
warmed by a furnance of earth, stones, twigs, light & ash
and in this unseeded garden you can only imagine the chances of glorious rides
touch and taste
and the feeling of sound

Fucking a.   

g under p

I'm reposting this from the lounge on AMT, I believe its appropriate here...

This song is from RUSH though retired is my all time favorite rock band. It goes out there to where ever he is our PJ brother CHADWICK. From his posts here and elsewhere I'm sure he's starting conversations with Pandora, rest peacefully my brother rest peacefully......

From the album: Grace Under Pressure 

AFTERIMAGE 

Suddenly, you were gone
From all the lives you left your mark upon

I remember
How we talked and drank into the misty dawn
I hear the voices

We ran by the water on the wet summer lawn
I see the footprints
I remember

I feel the way you would
I feel the way you would

Tried to believe but you know it's no good
This is something that just can't be understood

I remember
The shouts of joy, skiing fast through the woods
I hear the echoes

I learned your love for life
I feel the way that you would
I feel your presence
I remember

I feel the way you would

This just can't be understood

https://youtu.be/-EYGAMESq7Q

Peace

rollings

From Robert Hunter's eulogy for Jerry Garcia

(Robert Hunter being the "wordsmith" for most of the Grateful Dead's songs)

August 1995

....
Now that the singer is gone,
where shall I go for the song?

Without your melody and taste
to lend an attitude of grace
a lyric is an orphan thing,
a hive with neither honey's taste
nor power to truly sting.

What choice have I but to dare and
call your muse who thought to rest
out of the thin blue air
that out of the field of shared time,
a line or two might chance to shine --

As ever when we called,
in hope if not in words,
the muse descends.

How should she desert us now?
Scars of battle on her brow,
bedraggled feathers on her wings,
and yet she sings, she sings!

May she bear thee to thy rest,
the ancient bower of flowers
beyond the solitude of days,
the tyranny of hours--
the wreath of shining laurel lie
upon your shaggy head
bestowing power to play the lyre
to legions of the dead

If some part of that music
is heard in deepest dream,
or on some breeze of Summer
a snatch of golden theme,
we'll know you live inside us
with love that never parts
our good old Jack O'Diamonds
become the King of Hearts.

I feel your silent laughter
at sentiments so bold
that dare to step across the line
to tell what must be told,
so I'll just say I love you,
which I never said before
and let it go at that old friend
the rest you may ignore.

Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter, Grateful Dead

hedonist

Perfect.

Wobbie

mickeyrat said:

Wobbie said:

mickeyrat said:

updated OP with chads obit. bottom of the post.

weirdly ironic and appropriate I guess, no words for the wordsmith.......

Was he really from Denmark (the country)?

Iowa....

soooooo......he became a viking in denmark (pop. 423), IOWA? that’s kinda priceless.

RIP, good sir.

mickeyrat

Wobbie said:

mickeyrat said:

Wobbie said:

mickeyrat said:

updated OP with chads obit. bottom of the post.

weirdly ironic and appropriate I guess, no words for the wordsmith.......

Was he really from Denmark (the country)?

Iowa....

soooooo......he became a viking in denmark (pop. 423), IOWA? that’s kinda priceless.

RIP, good sir.

became? hardly. was a viking before his birth. remains one now.

rollings

From left to right: Ryan, Dustin ("Dut" or as F me calls him"Dudd", and Chad

rollings

oftenreading said:

A unique soul who made people laugh and made people think, and if those aren't two of the most important parts of life I don't know what are. 

F Me In The Brain

rollings said:

From left to right: Ryan, Dustin ("Dut" or as F me calls him"Dudd", and Chad

Great pic!  
Thanks for sharing.  

lastexitlondon

Family pictures  are a wonderful thing  to have. Our  kids photograph everything so will have  lots. But when we were young  not so many .  Gold pure gold

kce8

@ rollings
I am terribly sorry for your loss.
I did not really know Chadwick and we do not know each other, but it breaks my heart because I know what you're going through right now. I find it amazing that you have the power to speak so openly here. I admire that very much!

It's just wonderful to feel all the love and how many people here like Chadwick and now miss him painfully.
Some people influence our lives so much that we keep them in our hearts forever.
I hope you can draw strength from this love for yourself and your children. You are also in my heart and mind at this difficult time. 

Poncier

Well fuck.
Haven't been on here for 2 weeks whilst on vacation and just came back on today and found this.
What terribly sad news. Deepest condolences to rollings and Chad's family & friends. 

Ms. Haiku

I'm very sad to read about Chadwick's passing. :(

Wobbie

I wanted to bump this because while life goes on for the rest of us, I’m sure rollings is still “dealing” with her loss. I have not met her but I’m told she’s awesome. Never met Chad either but I know he was a great dude. I hope those who knew Chad are making some sense of his passing. 

Fifthelement

You are so right Wobbie, time goes on for most of us, but the grieving continues for those closest.  Sending love and light to Chadwick’s nearest and dearest.  I hope that your days are getting better.

F Me In The Brain

For sure, good thoughts Wobbie

brianlux

Thank you Wobbie.

Big thumbs up for sending out love to Rollings and our sorely missed Chadwick.

Thoughts_Arrive

Yeah, he's popped into my thoughts from time to time during the past month or so.
I hope rollings is doing okay.

OffSheGoes35

We haven't forgotten, rollings.

rollings

Hi everyone. Thank you so much. Your thoughts and kindness really do mean so much

. I just spent some time typing up a text to Mickey Rat in response to him asking how I was getting through this.  I don't think he would mind if I just copied it here to you all too.  Here goes:

"Hi. I'm ok.. it sucks. I've come to many realizations.like I will just have to live with some sadness in my heart from now on.  But there's beautiful things too.  Like he has sent me signs. I feel him all the time like right now. Whenever I am typing about him, he comes right in through my neck and elbows and makes me have cold elbows. He probably wants me to say hi to you from him. You may think i sound like a nut-bag, but I'm really not.  My days are very normal ... but also I feel still feel very connected to him and it's not my imagination ... I wanted to start a thread about him and just share some stuff about him..good funny stuff.  Not stories but like goofy stuff, totally Chad stuff . Pictures and what not of some his creations, collections, drawings,.  I think that would be a good idea because you Pearl jam people knew him well  (and loved) him. 

...and sometimes while going through stuff, I'll find something and be like wtf! And i want to share the funny uniqueness of it and I think you all would appreciate it and "get it" the most. "

So that's how I'm doing ... Sadness but beauty too. And I think that a Chad thread would be great and I know he would like it too