Michelle Obama - "Divorced Dad" comment

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Comments

  • mace1229mace1229 Posts: 8,956
    After reading the comments I was expected much worse. I didn't think the quote was all that bad. I don't think it makes sense though. Saying Trump is the fun president we all want until we get sick?
    I don't think she meant to make a mock at divorced dads. And there are a lot of great single/divorced dads out there. She was obviously comparing the US to the ones that get custody 1 weekend a month and spoil their kids, which does happen and is a stereotype. But I just don't see the comparison to Trump, her analogy didn't make any sense, but I don't think it was offensive.
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,072
    mace1229 said:
    After reading the comments I was expected much worse. I didn't think the quote was all that bad. I don't think it makes sense though. Saying Trump is the fun president we all want until we get sick?
    I don't think she meant to make a mock at divorced dads. And there are a lot of great single/divorced dads out there. She was obviously comparing the US to the ones that get custody 1 weekend a month and spoil their kids, which does happen and is a stereotype. But I just don't see the comparison to Trump, her analogy didn't make any sense, but I don't think it was offensive.
    Thanks for this.

    I agree with a lot of what you said.  I do think it was a poor choice of words and should likely not be repeated as an example.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • mickeyratmickeyrat up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,412
    mickeyrat said:
    do you honestly believe she was speaking in terms of all divorced men with children?



    damn quotes are fucking up on my phone.
    @cincybearcat musta got lost in the shuffle

    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • my2handsmy2hands Posts: 17,117
    The sweet irony oozing throughout this thread is just delicious.
    i gotta say, juggler, i don't see any irony at all. i don't see trump supporters coming in here and flaming some type of faux outrage. i see a poster who, as far as i know, is usually fairly bi-partisan, looking for a non-dramatic discussion, and for some reason you are using my2hands' playbook and shouting that everyone is freaking out when literally no one is. this is the type of stuff that the right freaks out at all the time; the hypocrisy of the left. the left, especially some people here, constantly throw around the "whataboutism" nonsense, and that's all i see here. this can't be discussed without bringing up how horrible trump is for some reason. yes, the comment was about him. but it wasn't referencing the way he talks about people using stereotypes, which is what michelle did. 

    i respect michelle a great deal, which is why this comment surprises me. it doesn't surprise me because of who is in the white house, it surprises me because of how said it. 

    now, say it with me: no one in this thread is outraged about this. cincy stated it several times that he's not upset about it, just a discussion. 

    we need to try to look at things from an objective lens, not the lens of always comparing everything to something trump did. 
    If you saw my playbook, your head would explode in flames

    I'm Bill Walsh up in this bitch
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,072
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    do you honestly believe she was speaking in terms of all divorced men with children?



    damn quotes are fucking up on my phone.
    @cincybearcat musta got lost in the shuffle

    Sorry I didn’t see it.

    I don’t think that’s what she meant. But it’s kinda what she said. Again - just surprised by her making a comment like that.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • Ledbetterman10Ledbetterman10 Posts: 16,712
    It was just a dumb comment by someone not clever enough to come up with a better metaphor. No big deal. 
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  • mickeyratmickeyrat up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,412
    edited April 2019
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    do you honestly believe she was speaking in terms of all divorced men with children?



    damn quotes are fucking up on my phone.
    @cincybearcat musta got lost in the shuffle

    Sorry I didn’t see it.

    I don’t think that’s what she meant. But it’s kinda what she said. Again - just surprised by her making a comment like that.
    stereotype or not, it spoke to me of a specific type that does in fact exist. and since that type does exist she gets a pass from me.


    and to me its an accurate enough analogy. for what she was trying to say. which is current "dad" is a clueless oaf with no idea what the fuck he's doing.
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • The JugglerThe Juggler Behind that bush over there. Posts: 47,141
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    do you honestly believe she was speaking in terms of all divorced men with children?



    damn quotes are fucking up on my phone.
    @cincybearcat musta got lost in the shuffle

    Sorry I didn’t see it.

    I don’t think that’s what she meant. But it’s kinda what she said. Again - just surprised by her making a comment like that.
    stereotype or not, it spoke to me of a specific type that does in fact exist. and since that type does exist she gets a pass from me.


    and to me its an accurate enough analogy. for what she was trying to say. which is current "dad" is a clueless oaf with no idea what the fuck he's doing.
    Yep
    chinese-happy.jpg
  • Go BeaversGo Beavers Posts: 8,587
    dignin said:
    Related image
    Props for the latte salute. That’s a tough move if you’ve ever tried it. 
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,808
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    do you honestly believe she was speaking in terms of all divorced men with children?



    damn quotes are fucking up on my phone.
    @cincybearcat musta got lost in the shuffle

    Sorry I didn’t see it.

    I don’t think that’s what she meant. But it’s kinda what she said. Again - just surprised by her making a comment like that.
    stereotype or not, it spoke to me of a specific type that does in fact exist. and since that type does exist she gets a pass from me.


    and to me its an accurate enough analogy. for what she was trying to say. which is current "dad" is a clueless oaf with no idea what the fuck he's doing.
    there are many stereotypes that actually exist that aren't acceptable to use. particularly women and minorities. 

    It's possible I'm a little sensitive to this because I'm not at all the dad of the 70's and 80's. But people often still talk to all men as if they are. you know, making fun of how difficult it must be if my wife is out of town, calling it "babysitting", if we forget one thing in the lunch, it's not "oh you just forgot" it's a fucking eye roll and "oh, your dad must have packed your lunch today". that type of shit. 

    if i was ever divorced I also wouldn't fit that stereotype. while it isn't a massive deal, and no one is outraged, it was a stupid comment, and there's nothing wrong with discussing it. 
    Darwinspeed, all. 

    Cheers,

    HFD




  • mace1229mace1229 Posts: 8,956
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    do you honestly believe she was speaking in terms of all divorced men with children?



    damn quotes are fucking up on my phone.
    @cincybearcat musta got lost in the shuffle

    Sorry I didn’t see it.

    I don’t think that’s what she meant. But it’s kinda what she said. Again - just surprised by her making a comment like that.
    stereotype or not, it spoke to me of a specific type that does in fact exist. and since that type does exist she gets a pass from me.


    and to me its an accurate enough analogy. for what she was trying to say. which is current "dad" is a clueless oaf with no idea what the fuck he's doing.
    So I can use sterotypes if it i true at least some of the time?
    So I can make fun of  Asians for being bad drivers now? I can assume anyone working in a quicki-mart is Indian and make fun of them? I mean, that is a type that does exist right?

    Her analogy didnt offend me, but I can;t believe anyone would say its okay to use stereotypes as long as that type exists.
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,808
    mace1229 said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    do you honestly believe she was speaking in terms of all divorced men with children?



    damn quotes are fucking up on my phone.
    @cincybearcat musta got lost in the shuffle

    Sorry I didn’t see it.

    I don’t think that’s what she meant. But it’s kinda what she said. Again - just surprised by her making a comment like that.
    stereotype or not, it spoke to me of a specific type that does in fact exist. and since that type does exist she gets a pass from me.


    and to me its an accurate enough analogy. for what she was trying to say. which is current "dad" is a clueless oaf with no idea what the fuck he's doing.
    So I can use sterotypes if it i true at least some of the time?
    So I can make fun of  Asians for being bad drivers now? I can assume anyone working in a quicki-mart is Indian and make fun of them? I mean, that is a type that does exist right?

    Her analogy didnt offend me, but I can;t believe anyone would say its okay to use stereotypes as long as that type exists.
    yeah, I was wondering this too. 
    Darwinspeed, all. 

    Cheers,

    HFD




  • dignin said:
    Related image
    Props for the latte salute. That’s a tough move if you’ve ever tried it. 

    Only people on the extreme left of the political spectrum have enough experience with lattes to pull this off.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,808
    dignin said:
    Related image
    Props for the latte salute. That’s a tough move if you’ve ever tried it. 

    Only people on the extreme left of the political spectrum have enough experience with lattes to pull this off.
    usually while adjusting their man bun with the other hand. 
    Darwinspeed, all. 

    Cheers,

    HFD




  • dignin said:
    Related image
    Props for the latte salute. That’s a tough move if you’ve ever tried it. 

    Only people on the extreme left of the political spectrum have enough experience with lattes to pull this off.
    usually while adjusting their man bun with the other hand. 

    The elite of elitist!
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,808
    dignin said:
    Related image
    Props for the latte salute. That’s a tough move if you’ve ever tried it. 

    Only people on the extreme left of the political spectrum have enough experience with lattes to pull this off.
    usually while adjusting their man bun with the other hand. 

    The elite of elitist!
    I often wonder if I didn't start going bald if I'd have a man bun at this point. I used to have long hair until it got too thin, so I started just shaving it off. 

    I'd totally be man bunning it up with my latte salute. 
    Darwinspeed, all. 

    Cheers,

    HFD




  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,739
    mace1229 said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    do you honestly believe she was speaking in terms of all divorced men with children?



    damn quotes are fucking up on my phone.
    @cincybearcat musta got lost in the shuffle

    Sorry I didn’t see it.

    I don’t think that’s what she meant. But it’s kinda what she said. Again - just surprised by her making a comment like that.
    stereotype or not, it spoke to me of a specific type that does in fact exist. and since that type does exist she gets a pass from me.


    and to me its an accurate enough analogy. for what she was trying to say. which is current "dad" is a clueless oaf with no idea what the fuck he's doing.
    So I can use sterotypes if it i true at least some of the time?
    So I can make fun of  Asians for being bad drivers now? I can assume anyone working in a quicki-mart is Indian and make fun of them? I mean, that is a type that does exist right?

    Her analogy didnt offend me, but I can;t believe anyone would say its okay to use stereotypes as long as that type exists.
    I love double standards.  (Insert sarcasm)
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Gern BlanstenGern Blansten Your Mom's Posts: 17,936
    mcgruff10 said:
    So - I have a serious question. I even stated that this is not something to get all upset about but that it was a very weird metaphor...and I think inappropriate. And I didn’t expect it from Michelle.

    so - people here really don’t care at all about this? Saying that divorced dads all don’t care about there kids and just do the fun stuff? You all are ok with keeping that line of thinking going? 

    Perhaps it’s fine, but then I’m sure hoping we can feel free to make all the other generalizations too. Please don’t jump all over my opinion like some Jew who saw a penny....wait...is that not ok? 
    People on the left would be up in arms if a republican said this. And they will say that they wouldn’t be until they are blue in the face but I call bullshit.  

    we are up in arms on a daily basis based on what president dipshit says....so what?
    Remember the Thomas Nine !! (10/02/2018)

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  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,739
    mcgruff10 said:
    So - I have a serious question. I even stated that this is not something to get all upset about but that it was a very weird metaphor...and I think inappropriate. And I didn’t expect it from Michelle.

    so - people here really don’t care at all about this? Saying that divorced dads all don’t care about there kids and just do the fun stuff? You all are ok with keeping that line of thinking going? 

    Perhaps it’s fine, but then I’m sure hoping we can feel free to make all the other generalizations too. Please don’t jump all over my opinion like some Jew who saw a penny....wait...is that not ok? 
    People on the left would be up in arms if a republican said this. And they will say that they wouldn’t be until they are blue in the face but I call bullshit.  

    we are up in arms on a daily basis based on what president dipshit says....so what?
    Exactly how does that have to do with this topic?
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,072
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    do you honestly believe she was speaking in terms of all divorced men with children?



    damn quotes are fucking up on my phone.
    @cincybearcat musta got lost in the shuffle

    Sorry I didn’t see it.

    I don’t think that’s what she meant. But it’s kinda what she said. Again - just surprised by her making a comment like that.
    stereotype or not, it spoke to me of a specific type that does in fact exist. and since that type does exist she gets a pass from me.


    and to me its an accurate enough analogy. for what she was trying to say. which is current "dad" is a clueless oaf with no idea what the fuck he's doing.
    there are many stereotypes that actually exist that aren't acceptable to use. particularly women and minorities. 

    It's possible I'm a little sensitive to this because I'm not at all the dad of the 70's and 80's. But people often still talk to all men as if they are. you know, making fun of how difficult it must be if my wife is out of town, calling it "babysitting", if we forget one thing in the lunch, it's not "oh you just forgot" it's a fucking eye roll and "oh, your dad must have packed your lunch today". that type of shit. 

    if i was ever divorced I also wouldn't fit that stereotype. while it isn't a massive deal, and no one is outraged, it was a stupid comment, and there's nothing wrong with discussing it. 
    Perhaps this is why it caught my eye as well.  I'm not divorced but my wife and I are both professionals.  Her job requires a decent amount of travel or long workdays so I do a lot.  I'm usually one of the only or the only dad involved with my daughter's dance, etc.  Plenty of innocent but pretty annoying comments.  Or even just dismissed cause I'm a guy.  About to be a single dad for a couple of months+ do to work travel for my wife....I sure hope I can get my sit together enough so I remember to feed my kid and not get her sick! ;)
    hippiemom = goodness
  • Gern BlanstenGern Blansten Your Mom's Posts: 17,936
    That mean Obama made snowflakes cry
    Remember the Thomas Nine !! (10/02/2018)

    1998: Noblesville; 2003: Noblesville; 2009: EV Nashville, Chicago, Chicago
    2010: St Louis, Columbus, Noblesville; 2011: EV Chicago, East Troy, East Troy
    2013: London ON, Chicago; 2014: Cincy, St Louis, Moline (NO CODE)
    2016: Lexington, Wrigley #1; 2018: Wrigley, Wrigley, Boston, Boston
    2020: Oakland, Oakland:  2021: EV Ohana, Ohana, Ohana, Ohana
    2022: Oakland, Oakland, Nashville, Louisville; 2023: Chicago, Chicago, Noblesville
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,072
    That mean Obama made snowflakes cry
    Who cried? 
    hippiemom = goodness
  • The JugglerThe Juggler Behind that bush over there. Posts: 47,141
    mace1229 said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    do you honestly believe she was speaking in terms of all divorced men with children?



    damn quotes are fucking up on my phone.
    @cincybearcat musta got lost in the shuffle

    Sorry I didn’t see it.

    I don’t think that’s what she meant. But it’s kinda what she said. Again - just surprised by her making a comment like that.
    stereotype or not, it spoke to me of a specific type that does in fact exist. and since that type does exist she gets a pass from me.


    and to me its an accurate enough analogy. for what she was trying to say. which is current "dad" is a clueless oaf with no idea what the fuck he's doing.
    So I can use sterotypes if it i true at least some of the time?
    So I can make fun of  Asians for being bad drivers now? I can assume anyone working in a quicki-mart is Indian and make fun of them? I mean, that is a type that does exist right?

    Her analogy didnt offend me, but I can;t believe anyone would say its okay to use stereotypes as long as that type exists.
    I mean...the Simpsons have used your second stereotype for almost 30 years now.  The Asian stereotype is another funny one. I remember an Office episode with a joke about it. And, gasp, it was funny. 

    This is kind of what I was referring to with my Old school reference and how Vincec Vaughn’s character handles his kid. It’s a funny sterorype. It’s really not a big deal. 
    chinese-happy.jpg
  • mace1229mace1229 Posts: 8,956
    mace1229 said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    do you honestly believe she was speaking in terms of all divorced men with children?



    damn quotes are fucking up on my phone.
    @cincybearcat musta got lost in the shuffle

    Sorry I didn’t see it.

    I don’t think that’s what she meant. But it’s kinda what she said. Again - just surprised by her making a comment like that.
    stereotype or not, it spoke to me of a specific type that does in fact exist. and since that type does exist she gets a pass from me.


    and to me its an accurate enough analogy. for what she was trying to say. which is current "dad" is a clueless oaf with no idea what the fuck he's doing.
    So I can use sterotypes if it i true at least some of the time?
    So I can make fun of  Asians for being bad drivers now? I can assume anyone working in a quicki-mart is Indian and make fun of them? I mean, that is a type that does exist right?

    Her analogy didnt offend me, but I can;t believe anyone would say its okay to use stereotypes as long as that type exists.
    I mean...the Simpsons have used your second stereotype for almost 30 years now.  The Asian stereotype is another funny one. I remember an Office episode with a joke about it. And, gasp, it was funny. 

    This is kind of what I was referring to with my Old school reference and how Vincec Vaughn’s character handles his kid. It’s a funny sterorype. It’s really not a big deal. 
    You don't think there's a difference between an adult cartoon using a stereotype and a prominent public figure? TV, movies, comics have less judgement for things like that it seems. And yes, they are often very funny. Just like how I admit I may poke fun at stereotypes when I am with a small group of friends that I would never say in public or at work (and anyone who says they never do I wouldn't believe). 

    I do agree I don't think its a big deal, but I was referring to the comment that stereotyping is okay as long as they are sometimes true. I don't agree with that, and it seems the more true it is probably the more offended people get.
  • tbergstbergs Posts: 9,195
    I think the PJ forums are full of divorced dads hoping they're favorite band puts out another killer dad rock album so they can play air guitar in their mancave while drinking Stroh's and wearing their favorite wife beater sitting in their stained and grungy La-Z-Boy with America's past time playing on the boob-tube...
    It's a hopeless situation...
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,072
    tbergs said:
    I think the PJ forums are full of divorced dads hoping they're favorite band puts out another killer dad rock album so they can play air guitar in their mancave while drinking Stroh's and wearing their favorite wife beater sitting in their stained and grungy La-Z-Boy with America's past time playing on the boob-tube...
    Hey this isn't me at all I'm not divorced?
    hippiemom = goodness
  • mrussel1mrussel1 Posts: 28,602
    tbergs said:
    I think the PJ forums are full of divorced dads hoping they're favorite band puts out another killer dad rock album so they can play air guitar in their mancave while drinking Stroh's and wearing their favorite wife beater sitting in their stained and grungy La-Z-Boy with America's past time playing on the boob-tube...
    Everything but the Strohs for me.  Tonight.... tonight.... let it be Lowenbrau...
  • mrussel1mrussel1 Posts: 28,602
    Btw, I'm a divorced dad who remarried and has more kids. And that stereotype doesn't bother me a bit.  Being an aloof or deadbeat dad is a choice,  much different than Asian jokes,  Jewish stereotypes, etc.

    At the same time,  if you are an engaged divorced dad,  like I think I am,  then it doesn't bother me because I know it doesn't apply to me.  So who cares?


  • mace1229mace1229 Posts: 8,956
    I don't even know if that stereotype is bad. Michelle never said anything about being aloof or a deadbeat dad, she just the dad where kids have fun with until they get sick.  That's not a deadbeat. In my mind I pictured a dad who gets custody one weekend a month and tries to pack a fun weekend in and probably over-does it. I picture the dad who takes his kids to the carnival then Disneyland to have as much fun as possible, then drops them off Sunday night. I don't think that's a bad quality, and I know (or did know) a few dads like that. Maybe she meant something completely different, but that is what I pictured when reading what she said.
    Which is why that analogy didn't make any sense to me when comparing to Trump. 
  • The JugglerThe Juggler Behind that bush over there. Posts: 47,141
    mace1229 said:
    mace1229 said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    do you honestly believe she was speaking in terms of all divorced men with children?



    damn quotes are fucking up on my phone.
    @cincybearcat musta got lost in the shuffle

    Sorry I didn’t see it.

    I don’t think that’s what she meant. But it’s kinda what she said. Again - just surprised by her making a comment like that.
    stereotype or not, it spoke to me of a specific type that does in fact exist. and since that type does exist she gets a pass from me.


    and to me its an accurate enough analogy. for what she was trying to say. which is current "dad" is a clueless oaf with no idea what the fuck he's doing.
    So I can use sterotypes if it i true at least some of the time?
    So I can make fun of  Asians for being bad drivers now? I can assume anyone working in a quicki-mart is Indian and make fun of them? I mean, that is a type that does exist right?

    Her analogy didnt offend me, but I can;t believe anyone would say its okay to use stereotypes as long as that type exists.
    I mean...the Simpsons have used your second stereotype for almost 30 years now.  The Asian stereotype is another funny one. I remember an Office episode with a joke about it. And, gasp, it was funny. 

    This is kind of what I was referring to with my Old school reference and how Vincec Vaughn’s character handles his kid. It’s a funny sterorype. It’s really not a big deal. 
    You don't think there's a difference between an adult cartoon using a stereotype and a prominent public figure? TV, movies, comics have less judgement for things like that it seems. And yes, they are often very funny. Just like how I admit I may poke fun at stereotypes when I am with a small group of friends that I would never say in public or at work (and anyone who says they never do I wouldn't believe). 

    I do agree I don't think its a big deal, but I was referring to the comment that stereotyping is okay as long as they are sometimes true. I don't agree with that, and it seems the more true it is probably the more offended people get.
    No because I don't find it offensive. It would be different if she made a disparaging remark against a group of people who have been persecuted and marginalized throughout history. But she didn't. She made an offhand joke/metaphor about divorced dads. To me its much ado about a nothing burger. 
    chinese-happy.jpg
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