Please answer my anonymous survey (QUICK SURVEY ONLY 3 QNS) - Should I stay or go?

pjhawks

HughFreakingDillon said:

elvistheking44 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

F Me In The Brain said:

If you like it here, why wouldn't you stay?

If you don't like it here, why wouldn't you go?

Seems simple, to me.

Depends on what others think of me.

One of the best things I learned at a young age is to not give a fuck what other people think of me.  I teach this to my kids non stop.  

I didn't learn this until much later, probably my mid 20's, but yes, this all day. I try to teach my girls the same thing. be nice, treat people with respect, and if they don't respond in kind, that reflects their character, not yours. 

same here. i spent a lot of time, especially as a teen, thinking everyone was judging me. like every room i walked into i thought they were all looking at me judging.  i finally realized  in my mid 20s or so that almost all people at those ages were as fucked up self-image wise as i was.  i won't say i don't care now, but i don't put any thought into. 

as for the OP. One thing i've found around here as things start to get contentious is to just back off on posting. i spend a lot of time reading posts more than posting anymore.  Think before you post i'd say.  think how your response might be taking by others. If you are ok with it being contentious then post as you like, but understand their might be follow up that might not be positive.  You can disagree or have different opinions with others without coming off negatively by the wording you choose to use in your posts.

as for your question - Stay but adjust.

PJ_Soul

elvistheking44 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

F Me In The Brain said:

If you like it here, why wouldn't you stay?

If you don't like it here, why wouldn't you go?

Seems simple, to me.

Depends on what others think of me.

One of the best things I learned at a young age is to not give a fuck what other people think of me.  I teach this to my kids non stop.  

I totally agree, and I consider being able to pretty much not care what other people think to be one of the greatest perks of getting older and wiser (I think I got totally over it by my mid 20s? I think that's a pretty normal age to be realizing this). It's very liberating to reach that point in your life where you're wise enough and self-aware enough to realize that it just doesn't fucking matter what others think, as long as you're comfortable and content with your own choices for yourself, with your own likes and dislikes, with your own thoughts and feelings. Other people's expectations or society's expectations are generally a complete crock (as long as you're staying within the law, obviously, and not being an asshole).

Thoughts_Arrive

Thank you to you that responded.
Please continue to put your opinions forward.

WhatYouTaughtMe

Just do you. If it makes you happy, stick around. If it constantly makes you upset, walk away. Don't put so much stock in what people say on an online forum. There are some really nice people on here, but there isn't really a way to tell if someone is trolling you or just really hateful. You will chase your tail trying to figure it out and like the above posters said, don't spend much thought on people that likely aren't worried about you.

WhatYouTaughtMe

elvistheking44 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

F Me In The Brain said:

If you like it here, why wouldn't you stay?

If you don't like it here, why wouldn't you go?

Seems simple, to me.

Depends on what others think of me.

One of the best things I learned at a young age is to not give a fuck what other people think of me.  I teach this to my kids non stop.  

and this. All day.

Attaway77

It's pretty simple, you get one life. Keep living it worrying about what others think is another second of yours becoming incomplete, happens to us all. People have been rooting for you for a long time now on here, just as people have been doing the same for each other while speaking their minds and giving each other shit. Sometimes kindness needs harsh truth as well for a wake up call..  Get your head straight man, eventually you will become obsolete like the rest of us in this place called the human race. Start enjoying life more before it's too late, we all have our personal shit we deal with.... 

RogueStoner

Stay. Regardless of the results. There’s only one YOU. Don’t let others dictate your life. Rock on!

Thoughts_Arrive

Disappointed only 8 responses. Come on people. If you really dislike me and want me to then here's your chance to make it happen!

Wobbie

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Wobbie said:

the clash are over rated.

point of that comment?

irreverence. try it sometime.

Thoughts_Arrive

Wobbie said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Wobbie said:

the clash are over rated.

point of that comment?

irreverence. try it sometime.

Nah I am ok. Sorry I only got your reference to that song after I posted that.

justam

You'll be happier if you stop caring about whether or not people like you.  Certainly, don't make decisions based upon whether or not strangers like you.  If you like it here, stay.  If you don't like it here, leave.  

OffSheGoes35

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Disappointed only 8 responses. Come on people. If you really dislike me and want me to then here's your chance to make it happen!

I don't dislike you, but I hate these self-defeating threads that you create. You ask for feedback and ignore half of the responses (usually the ones containing positive reinforcement). 
 

Wobbie

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Wobbie said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Wobbie said:

the clash are over rated.

point of that comment?

irreverence. try it sometime.

Nah I am ok. Sorry I only got your reference to that song after I posted that.

good on ya.

lastexitlondon

I think all this just feeds that beast inside. The one that causes all this insecurity .  Step back. Really listen. And do not judge or be judged.

jnimhaoileoin

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Disappointed only 8 responses. Come on people. If you really dislike me and want me to then here's your chance to make it happen!

I just don't understand you, it's like you're trying to goad people to dislike you and feeding on it or something. This really is not healthy. The reason people are not responding is because, as numerous people have pointed out, people do not dislike you. They don't even think about you, no more than they think of any of us. We all have our own lives that we live outside this forum. I come here when I feel like connecting with other people, usually I come for the debate and sharing of opinions. I don't expect to form deep relationships or for anyone to have any particular opinion on me, be it bad or good, as while they may form an image of me from my opinions, they do not know me. Equally I do not know them and as such their opinion of me would be largely irrelevant anyway. 

Why are you taking this so personally? Why do you think people dislike you when all the evidence suggests they treat you no different to anyone else? Why do you seem to be trying to goad people into validating your negative impression of how you are being treated?

As others have said, people here are trying to help you. We don't want you to be unhappy or to feel like you're being attacked. If you seek feedback though, you have to be willing to accept it and to take the advice that is being given with good will.

mickeyrat

I can never live up to what I perceive others think of me.

majority on this  entire forum?  how many thousands is that? now name them.  not more than a handful I expect, if that.

edit.... something I learned in aa "what others think of me is none of my business"

mickeyrat

oh , as to the thread request. No. No thank you. Stay or go on your own terms. Own your decision.

Thoughts_Arrive

mickeyrat said:

I can never live up to what I perceive others think of me.

majority on this  entire forum?  how many thousands is that? now name them.  not more than a handful I expect, if that.

Hedonist
PJ Soul
Oftenreading
Jnimhaoileoin
Northerndragon
The Juggler
Unsung
You?

There a number more that I am struggling to remember their usernames that I have not seen post here in a very long time.

jnimhaoileoin

Thoughts_Arrive said:

mickeyrat said:

I can never live up to what I perceive others think of me.

majority on this  entire forum?  how many thousands is that? now name them.  not more than a handful I expect, if that.

Hedonist
PJ Soul
Oftenreading
Jnimhaoileoin
Northerndragon
The Juggler
Unsung
You?

There a number more that I am struggling to remember their usernames that I have not seen post here in a very long time.

Right, so because we have disagreed with certain opinions you have expressed or given you advice that you didn't like, you have decided that we hate you? Well I can only speak for myself but I do not hate you. I have an issue with your behaviour on occasions like this but I certainly don't hate you. To be honest, I don't hate anyone. There are people whose behaviour or beliefs I disagree with but in order to hate or even dislike someone, you have to know them and for them to have sufficient importance in your life to incite such strong emotions. 

I'm sorry that you feel this way but I'm afraid none of us can accept any responsibility for that. All we have done is express our honest opinions and, for the most part, tried to help you.  

lastexitlondon

This thread is harmful to everyone. I personally do not like it