Dying alone

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  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    kce8 said:
    You could call it "Singles Theory"... ;)
    As in Have Fun Stay Single?  :)
    We could do that.
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517

    lastexitlondon said:
    I reckon single could be great fun. Ive never been single ever. Wow strange to think really
    That is one amazing streak right there. I would love to hear what you've learned about yourself over the years as a result of that...
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517

    hedonist said:
    Ha, maintaining myself is a feat in itself, let alone tending to a thread of mine!

    For me, adopting the "if it happens, it will in its own time" philosophy made a huge difference.  It wasn't even a conscious choice, more like self-evolution.  There are always avenues to be taken if someone is honestly looking for a relationship, but if not?  Just enjoy the ride and see where it takes you...and to whom.
    And you know what? Sometimes the threads where the original poster just steps aside and let people run with it, end up being some of the better threads. 

    I think that is the best attitude to adopt. I really do.
  • oftenreading
    oftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,856
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG

    Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well.
    A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship. 
    It's not about feeling comfortable. You are already doing what feels comfortable and you're unhappy and lonely. Changing your life will require doing what makes you uncomfortable.
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    OffSheGoes35 said:

    lastexitlondon said:
    I reckon single could be great fun. Ive never been single ever. Wow strange to think really
    That is one amazing streak right there. I would love to hear what you've learned about yourself over the years as a result of that...
    There probably is enough space to fit it here. But you have given me food for thought thank you. Im looking into it!


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    oftenreading said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG

    Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well.
    A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship. 
    It's not about feeling comfortable. You are already doing what feels comfortable and you're unhappy and lonely. Changing your life will require doing what makes you uncomfortable.
    These words you should really listen to . Oftenreading has spelt this out to perfection. Well explained


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    oftenreading said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG

    Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well.
    A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship. 
    It's not about feeling comfortable. You are already doing what feels comfortable and you're unhappy and lonely. Changing your life will require doing what makes you uncomfortable.
    The thought of going to a social gathering to meet new people, would make me anxious. Not only because I would be expecting to make a friend, but also someone else might have the same expectation of me. People are different. And need to find their own way. The way that makes them feel comfortable, so they will be more likely to be successful.For me, I like posting on here. And that feels more comfortable than a face-to-face meeting. Not that I rely completely on this forum to combat loneliness, but it is a great comfort. Sometimes it doesn't take much.
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    lastexitlondon said:
    OffSheGoes35 said:

    lastexitlondon said:
    I reckon single could be great fun. Ive never been single ever. Wow strange to think really
    That is one amazing streak right there. I would love to hear what you've learned about yourself over the years as a result of that...
    There probably is enough space to fit it here. But you have given me food for thought thank you. Im looking into it!
    Yes, that isn't a question one can really answer in a couple of sentences, is it? I will await your essay, sir.  =)
  • oftenreading
    oftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,856
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    oftenreading said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG

    Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well.
    A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship. 
    It's not about feeling comfortable. You are already doing what feels comfortable and you're unhappy and lonely. Changing your life will require doing what makes you uncomfortable.
    The thought of going to a social gathering to meet new people, would make me anxious. Not only because I would be expecting to make a friend, but also someone else might have the same expectation of me. People are different. And need to find their own way. The way that makes them feel comfortable, so they will be more likely to be successful.For me, I like posting on here. And that feels more comfortable than a face-to-face meeting. Not that I rely completely on this forum to combat loneliness, but it is a great comfort. Sometimes it doesn't take much.
    My words were not directed at you, OSG, but at TA, who has voiced unhappiness with his current state. Of course, everyone has the option to make their own choices as to how they proceed with life. I personally think the idea of doing what is “comfortable” is overrated. Stretching ourselves to grow and change is not comfortable but it is very worthwhile. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • dignin
    dignin Posts: 9,478
    Oftenreading nailed it. Some of my best most life changing experiences have happened when I put myself in uncomfortable situations.

    You have to put yourself out there.
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    oftenreading said:
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    oftenreading said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG

    Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well.
    A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship. 
    It's not about feeling comfortable. You are already doing what feels comfortable and you're unhappy and lonely. Changing your life will require doing what makes you uncomfortable.
    The thought of going to a social gathering to meet new people, would make me anxious. Not only because I would be expecting to make a friend, but also someone else might have the same expectation of me. People are different. And need to find their own way. The way that makes them feel comfortable, so they will be more likely to be successful.For me, I like posting on here. And that feels more comfortable than a face-to-face meeting. Not that I rely completely on this forum to combat loneliness, but it is a great comfort. Sometimes it doesn't take much.
    My words were not directed at you, OSG, but at TA, who has voiced unhappiness with his current state. Of course, everyone has the option to make their own choices as to how they proceed with life. I personally think the idea of doing what is “comfortable” is overrated. Stretching ourselves to grow and change is not comfortable but it is very worthwhile. 
    I know your words weren't  directed at me. I just wanted to offer a different perspective. Probably shouldn't  have quoted you. My mistake. 

    I think that life presents us with enough challenges, and that we shouldn't have to go against our true nature in order to challenge ourselves. I think it causes undue pressure that can be harmful at times.I think it is great if someone who normally wouldn't be sociable wants to challenge themselves by putting themselves out there. I just don't think they should feel pressure to change.

  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    dignin said:
    Oftenreading nailed it. Some of my best most life changing experiences have happened when I put myself in uncomfortable situations.

    You have to put yourself out there.
    I agree at this . I ve been doing it alll my life and its very exciting in the end. Push your limits everyday


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    lastexitlondon said:
    OffSheGoes35 said:

    lastexitlondon said:
    I reckon single could be great fun. Ive never been single ever. Wow strange to think really
    That is one amazing streak right there. I would love to hear what you've learned about yourself over the years as a result of that...
    There probably is enough space to fit it here. But you have given me food for thought thank you. Im looking into it!
    Yes, that isn't a question one can really answer in a couple of sentences, is it? I will await your essay, sir.  =)
    I am getting straight to it mam


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • kce8
    kce8 Posts: 1,636
    The thing is, if you go out to meet strangers you should expect nothing. If you do you have this pressure and you will be disappointed. Maybe it's a good idea just to go out get used to it. No expectations and maybe you feel better after a while and getting more comfortable. 
    You wouldn't find a person for a relationship this way anyway, if you expect too much. But it's true, you'll never know what could happen, so just try it. 
    Sometimes it happens just when you expect nothing. And then it's easy and clear.

    So whether you are looking for a relationship or not, you should get yourself out of the house! :)
  • kce8
    kce8 Posts: 1,636
    I would just love if that thread turns into something positive...
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    Maybe we should ask TA to start it? We want a Singles thread, TA. Will you please start a positive Singles thread? :)
  • kce8
    kce8 Posts: 1,636
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    kce8 said:
    You could call it "Singles Theory"... ;)
    As in Have Fun Stay Single?  :)
    We could do that.

    I was more thinking about PJ's Single Theory... not single but singles ... like it sounds good... 
    ...to be honest I didn't get what you mean, I had to google it (language barrier)... but yes that's good reason too... :lol:
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    kce8 said:
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    kce8 said:
    You could call it "Singles Theory"... ;)
    As in Have Fun Stay Single?  :)
    We could do that.

    I was more thinking about PJ's Single Theory... not single but singles ... like it sounds good... 
    ...to be honest I didn't get what you mean, I had to google it (language barrier)... but yes that's good reason too... :lol:
    :lol:    Oh! I was thinking of the movie Singles. Sorry.  =)
  • kce8
    kce8 Posts: 1,636
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    Maybe we should ask TA to start it? We want a Singles thread, TA. Will you please start a positive Singles thread? :)

    I assume we have to wait, he might is sleeping already in Australia? :lol:
  • kce8
    kce8 Posts: 1,636
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    kce8 said:
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    kce8 said:
    You could call it "Singles Theory"... ;)
    As in Have Fun Stay Single?  :)
    We could do that.

    I was more thinking about PJ's Single Theory... not single but singles ... like it sounds good... 
    ...to be honest I didn't get what you mean, I had to google it (language barrier)... but yes that's good reason too... :lol:
    :lol:    Oh! I was thinking of the movie Singles. Sorry.  =)

    Yeah I know, but I haven't seen it since then... :| 
    :lol:

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