Dying alone

HughFreakingDillon

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

Sweet jesus. Edit the granny thing. My mind's eye! My mind's  eye!

Hugh always has to paint these awful images to stress his points and ruin our days.

Meltdown99

HughFreakingDillon said:

hedonist said:

Because we're human and we have faults.  We also have some pretty fucking wondrous gifts and drive.

I chose to not have children because I know I wouldn't be the kind of parent a kid deserves.  I expect no more kudos for that decision than anyone who made their own choice for other reasons.  If you want to not contribute to over-population but think you'd make a good father......adopt!

TA, take it or leave it - I hope you can try to go from the "I simply can't because of X, Y & Z, and won't try to find A, B or C to help myself" mentality to one that just says fuckit and be yourself.  It can be healthy to analyze and digest experiences - and yourself - but to focus on them and tear yourself down in the process?  You've mentioned how you're working toward becoming a therapist but don't want to work with people.  How are you going to be able to help others if you can't do the same for yourself?

therapists are often just as fucked up as the rest of us....able to look at something objectively when you aren't emotionally invested in it, and help look for solutions. 

when it comes to their own issues? many of them go to therapy as well. 

There absolutely nothing wrong in seeking help from a  therapist...a good therapist is far better than relying on pharmaceuticals.

HughFreakingDillon

Meltdown99 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

hedonist said:

Because we're human and we have faults.  We also have some pretty fucking wondrous gifts and drive.

I chose to not have children because I know I wouldn't be the kind of parent a kid deserves.  I expect no more kudos for that decision than anyone who made their own choice for other reasons.  If you want to not contribute to over-population but think you'd make a good father......adopt!

TA, take it or leave it - I hope you can try to go from the "I simply can't because of X, Y & Z, and won't try to find A, B or C to help myself" mentality to one that just says fuckit and be yourself.  It can be healthy to analyze and digest experiences - and yourself - but to focus on them and tear yourself down in the process?  You've mentioned how you're working toward becoming a therapist but don't want to work with people.  How are you going to be able to help others if you can't do the same for yourself?

therapists are often just as fucked up as the rest of us....able to look at something objectively when you aren't emotionally invested in it, and help look for solutions. 

when it comes to their own issues? many of them go to therapy as well. 

There absolutely nothing wrong in seeking help from a  therapist...a good therapist is far better than relying on pharmaceuticals.

of course. I've gone. 

hedonist

oftenreading said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

hedonist said:

Because we're human and we have faults.  We also have some pretty fucking wondrous gifts and drive.

I chose to not have children because I know I wouldn't be the kind of parent a kid deserves.  I expect no more kudos for that decision than anyone who made their own choice for other reasons.  If you want to not contribute to over-population but think you'd make a good father......adopt!

TA, take it or leave it - I hope you can try to go from the "I simply can't because of X, Y & Z, and won't try to find A, B or C to help myself" mentality to one that just says fuckit and be yourself.  It can be healthy to analyze and digest experiences - and yourself - but to focus on them and tear yourself down in the process?  You've mentioned how you're working toward becoming a therapist but don't want to work with people.  How are you going to be able to help others if you can't do the same for yourself?

therapists are often just as fucked up as the rest of us....able to look at something objectively when you aren't emotionally invested in it, and help look for solutions. 

when it comes to their own issues? many of them go to therapy as well. 

"Therapists" are people, same as the rest of us, and given that there's nothing wrong with embarking on therapy, why shouldn't therapists also do this? In fact, for people training in certain types of therapeutic modalities, it's a requirement. 

I'm reminded of Dr. Melfi on the Sopranos and In Treatment with Gabriel Byrne.  Different spectrums, but both brought me some insight into the perspective of the therapist.

OSG - agreed!

HughFreakingDillon

oftenreading said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

hedonist said:

Because we're human and we have faults.  We also have some pretty fucking wondrous gifts and drive.

I chose to not have children because I know I wouldn't be the kind of parent a kid deserves.  I expect no more kudos for that decision than anyone who made their own choice for other reasons.  If you want to not contribute to over-population but think you'd make a good father......adopt!

TA, take it or leave it - I hope you can try to go from the "I simply can't because of X, Y & Z, and won't try to find A, B or C to help myself" mentality to one that just says fuckit and be yourself.  It can be healthy to analyze and digest experiences - and yourself - but to focus on them and tear yourself down in the process?  You've mentioned how you're working toward becoming a therapist but don't want to work with people.  How are you going to be able to help others if you can't do the same for yourself?

therapists are often just as fucked up as the rest of us....able to look at something objectively when you aren't emotionally invested in it, and help look for solutions. 

when it comes to their own issues? many of them go to therapy as well. 

"Therapists" are people, same as the rest of us, and given that there's nothing wrong with embarking on therapy, why shouldn't therapists also do this? In fact, for people training in certain types of therapeutic modalities, it's a requirement. 

I'm not sure why people seem to be taking my statement as some sort of slight to therapists or those seeking therapy. all i was trying to convey was that, just as you said, therapists are also people, so being one does not mean you have to be perfect in your own life, as hedonist was questioning how someone who has trouble in their personal life would be an effective therapist. I think many of these people could be just as effective, if not MORE effective in some ways. they'd be able to draw on not just their professional opinion, but also personal experience. 

oftenreading

HughFreakingDillon said:

oftenreading said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

hedonist said:

Because we're human and we have faults.  We also have some pretty fucking wondrous gifts and drive.

I chose to not have children because I know I wouldn't be the kind of parent a kid deserves.  I expect no more kudos for that decision than anyone who made their own choice for other reasons.  If you want to not contribute to over-population but think you'd make a good father......adopt!

TA, take it or leave it - I hope you can try to go from the "I simply can't because of X, Y & Z, and won't try to find A, B or C to help myself" mentality to one that just says fuckit and be yourself.  It can be healthy to analyze and digest experiences - and yourself - but to focus on them and tear yourself down in the process?  You've mentioned how you're working toward becoming a therapist but don't want to work with people.  How are you going to be able to help others if you can't do the same for yourself?

therapists are often just as fucked up as the rest of us....able to look at something objectively when you aren't emotionally invested in it, and help look for solutions. 

when it comes to their own issues? many of them go to therapy as well. 

"Therapists" are people, same as the rest of us, and given that there's nothing wrong with embarking on therapy, why shouldn't therapists also do this? In fact, for people training in certain types of therapeutic modalities, it's a requirement. 

I'm not sure why people seem to be taking my statement as some sort of slight to therapists or those seeking therapy. all i was trying to convey was that, just as you said, therapists are also people, so being one does not mean you have to be perfect in your own life, as hedonist was questioning how someone who has trouble in their personal life would be an effective therapist. I think many of these people could be just as effective, if not MORE effective in some ways. they'd be able to draw on not just their professional opinion, but also personal experience. 

I think hedo was more questioning the incongruity of the choice of profession with the statement that he didn't want to work with people.

PJ_Soul

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Yeah, I don't know about this 40+ year old divorcee theory guys. You seem to be recommending to Thoughts_Arrive that he go for cougars! .... Or actually, you're warning him that most of these women are cougars and that he couldn't handle them. I know they exist, but I don't think they are anywhere near being the majority of available divorced women.
And why would a guy in his early 30s be actively going for women a decade older than him?? He probably wants children...

I'm just trying to convince TA not to dismiss possibilities and opportunities so zealously.  I think the idea that a person misses out on a deep and lasting love because they categorize people into these rigid yes/no categories without ever being open is a serious tragedy.
Do you really believe that there aren't any 20 somethings out there that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?  Of course there are!

No there aren't, because I have no interest in dating someone in their 20s. It would be weird for me and I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't even get most of my pop culture references, lol. If something makes you uncomfortable in this context or simply doesn't appeal to you, I think it's more than reasonable to not do it. One needn't be open to EVERYTHING. We all have our preferences. I mean, I could say to any guy in his 30s, well, do you really believe that there aren't any 50+ year old women that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?? Well, sure, of course, but most aren't open to it for a reason.
And yes, a 34 year old saying that 18 is too young for him is beyond reasonable.

PJ_Soul

brianlux said:

Don't knock the 40 years old plus marriage thing.  When my wife and I got together, our combined ages totaled 100 years.  We've been together now 16 years and doing great.   My own experience is that getting married young is a terrible idea.  I mean, kudos to those who marry young and can keep it together, but how many of those do you know?  I don't know any.

I don't think anyone is knocking that.... I think we're just talking about how some people aren't into massive age gaps. And that it totally okay.

hedonist

oftenreading said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

oftenreading said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

hedonist said:

Because we're human and we have faults.  We also have some pretty fucking wondrous gifts and drive.

I chose to not have children because I know I wouldn't be the kind of parent a kid deserves.  I expect no more kudos for that decision than anyone who made their own choice for other reasons.  If you want to not contribute to over-population but think you'd make a good father......adopt!

TA, take it or leave it - I hope you can try to go from the "I simply can't because of X, Y & Z, and won't try to find A, B or C to help myself" mentality to one that just says fuckit and be yourself.  It can be healthy to analyze and digest experiences - and yourself - but to focus on them and tear yourself down in the process?  You've mentioned how you're working toward becoming a therapist but don't want to work with people.  How are you going to be able to help others if you can't do the same for yourself?

therapists are often just as fucked up as the rest of us....able to look at something objectively when you aren't emotionally invested in it, and help look for solutions. 

when it comes to their own issues? many of them go to therapy as well. 

"Therapists" are people, same as the rest of us, and given that there's nothing wrong with embarking on therapy, why shouldn't therapists also do this? In fact, for people training in certain types of therapeutic modalities, it's a requirement. 

I'm not sure why people seem to be taking my statement as some sort of slight to therapists or those seeking therapy. all i was trying to convey was that, just as you said, therapists are also people, so being one does not mean you have to be perfect in your own life, as hedonist was questioning how someone who has trouble in their personal life would be an effective therapist. I think many of these people could be just as effective, if not MORE effective in some ways. they'd be able to draw on not just their professional opinion, but also personal experience. 

I think hedo was more questioning the incongruity of the choice of profession with the statement that he didn't want to work with people.

True dat!  Plus I think patients would pick up on that vibe.

HughFreakingDillon

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Yeah, I don't know about this 40+ year old divorcee theory guys. You seem to be recommending to Thoughts_Arrive that he go for cougars! .... Or actually, you're warning him that most of these women are cougars and that he couldn't handle them. I know they exist, but I don't think they are anywhere near being the majority of available divorced women.
And why would a guy in his early 30s be actively going for women a decade older than him?? He probably wants children...

I'm just trying to convince TA not to dismiss possibilities and opportunities so zealously.  I think the idea that a person misses out on a deep and lasting love because they categorize people into these rigid yes/no categories without ever being open is a serious tragedy.
Do you really believe that there aren't any 20 somethings out there that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?  Of course there are!

No there aren't, because I have no interest in dating someone in their 20s. It would be weird for me and I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't even get most of my pop culture references, lol. If something makes you uncomfortable in this context or simply doesn't appeal to you, I think it's more than reasonable to not do it. One needn't be open to EVERYTHING. We all have our preferences. I mean, I could say to any guy in his 30s, well, do you really believe that there aren't any 50+ year old women that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?? Well, sure, of course, but most aren't open to it for a reason.
And yes, a 34 year old saying that 18 is too young for him is beyond reasonable.

you have probably dated enough that you know what gets automaticaly excluded from the dating pool, though. for someone who hasn't dated.....could probably stand to be slightly more open. But that's just my take. 

PJ_Soul

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Yeah, I don't know about this 40+ year old divorcee theory guys. You seem to be recommending to Thoughts_Arrive that he go for cougars! .... Or actually, you're warning him that most of these women are cougars and that he couldn't handle them. I know they exist, but I don't think they are anywhere near being the majority of available divorced women.
And why would a guy in his early 30s be actively going for women a decade older than him?? He probably wants children...

I'm just trying to convince TA not to dismiss possibilities and opportunities so zealously.  I think the idea that a person misses out on a deep and lasting love because they categorize people into these rigid yes/no categories without ever being open is a serious tragedy.
Do you really believe that there aren't any 20 somethings out there that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?  Of course there are!

No there aren't, because I have no interest in dating someone in their 20s. It would be weird for me and I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't even get most of my pop culture references, lol. If something makes you uncomfortable in this context or simply doesn't appeal to you, I think it's more than reasonable to not do it. One needn't be open to EVERYTHING. We all have our preferences. I mean, I could say to any guy in his 30s, well, do you really believe that there aren't any 50+ year old women that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?? Well, sure, of course, but most aren't open to it for a reason.
And yes, a 34 year old saying that 18 is too young for him is beyond reasonable.

you have probably dated enough that you know what gets automaticaly excluded from the dating pool, though. for someone who hasn't dated.....could probably stand to be slightly more open. But that's just my take. 

Okay, fair enough... but 18 and 34? That is a pretty bad idea in an objective sense too IMO. And 18 year old is essentially clueless. In almost all cases, a teenager and person in their mid-30s aren't going to be compatible, and yeah, it's a bit icky too. But in any case, the very idea of dating an 18 year old actually creeps Thoughts_Arrive out. I'd say that feeling justifiably rules that age group out, and I really don't think a lack of experience has anything to do with that.

HughFreakingDillon

PJ_Soul said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Yeah, I don't know about this 40+ year old divorcee theory guys. You seem to be recommending to Thoughts_Arrive that he go for cougars! .... Or actually, you're warning him that most of these women are cougars and that he couldn't handle them. I know they exist, but I don't think they are anywhere near being the majority of available divorced women.
And why would a guy in his early 30s be actively going for women a decade older than him?? He probably wants children...

I'm just trying to convince TA not to dismiss possibilities and opportunities so zealously.  I think the idea that a person misses out on a deep and lasting love because they categorize people into these rigid yes/no categories without ever being open is a serious tragedy.
Do you really believe that there aren't any 20 somethings out there that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?  Of course there are!

No there aren't, because I have no interest in dating someone in their 20s. It would be weird for me and I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't even get most of my pop culture references, lol. If something makes you uncomfortable in this context or simply doesn't appeal to you, I think it's more than reasonable to not do it. One needn't be open to EVERYTHING. We all have our preferences. I mean, I could say to any guy in his 30s, well, do you really believe that there aren't any 50+ year old women that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?? Well, sure, of course, but most aren't open to it for a reason.
And yes, a 34 year old saying that 18 is too young for him is beyond reasonable.

you have probably dated enough that you know what gets automaticaly excluded from the dating pool, though. for someone who hasn't dated.....could probably stand to be slightly more open. But that's just my take. 

Okay, fair enough... but 18 and 34? That is a pretty bad idea in an objective sense too IMO. And 18 year old is essentially clueless. In almost all cases, a teenager and person in their mid-30s aren't going to be compatible, and yeah, it's a bit icky too. But in any case, the very idea of dating an 18 year old actually creeps Thoughts_Arrive out. I'd say that feeling justifiably rules that age group out, and I really don't think a lack of experience has anything to do with that.

not in all cases.  you could have a very mature 18 year old and a somewhat immature 34 year old that are very compatible. would I do it? no. but I think ruling it out completely without any knowledge is excluding potential matches. 

yes, I'd say if the gut feeling is "creepy", then probably exclusion makes sense. it would be pretty difficult to get past that if that's your first reaction. probably wouldn't last long. but it just seems that's not the only rule TA has about what he's looking for. could be wrong though. 

rgambs

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Yeah, I don't know about this 40+ year old divorcee theory guys. You seem to be recommending to Thoughts_Arrive that he go for cougars! .... Or actually, you're warning him that most of these women are cougars and that he couldn't handle them. I know they exist, but I don't think they are anywhere near being the majority of available divorced women.
And why would a guy in his early 30s be actively going for women a decade older than him?? He probably wants children...

I'm just trying to convince TA not to dismiss possibilities and opportunities so zealously.  I think the idea that a person misses out on a deep and lasting love because they categorize people into these rigid yes/no categories without ever being open is a serious tragedy.
Do you really believe that there aren't any 20 somethings out there that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?  Of course there are!

No there aren't, because I have no interest in dating someone in their 20s. It would be weird for me and I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't even get most of my pop culture references, lol. If something makes you uncomfortable in this context or simply doesn't appeal to you, I think it's more than reasonable to not do it. One needn't be open to EVERYTHING. We all have our preferences. I mean, I could say to any guy in his 30s, well, do you really believe that there aren't any 50+ year old women that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?? Well, sure, of course, but most aren't open to it for a reason.
And yes, a 34 year old saying that 18 is too young for him is beyond reasonable.

PJ_Soul said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Yeah, I don't know about this 40+ year old divorcee theory guys. You seem to be recommending to Thoughts_Arrive that he go for cougars! .... Or actually, you're warning him that most of these women are cougars and that he couldn't handle them. I know they exist, but I don't think they are anywhere near being the majority of available divorced women.
And why would a guy in his early 30s be actively going for women a decade older than him?? He probably wants children...

I'm just trying to convince TA not to dismiss possibilities and opportunities so zealously.  I think the idea that a person misses out on a deep and lasting love because they categorize people into these rigid yes/no categories without ever being open is a serious tragedy.
Do you really believe that there aren't any 20 somethings out there that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?  Of course there are!

No there aren't, because I have no interest in dating someone in their 20s. It would be weird for me and I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't even get most of my pop culture references, lol. If something makes you uncomfortable in this context or simply doesn't appeal to you, I think it's more than reasonable to not do it. One needn't be open to EVERYTHING. We all have our preferences. I mean, I could say to any guy in his 30s, well, do you really believe that there aren't any 50+ year old women that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?? Well, sure, of course, but most aren't open to it for a reason.
And yes, a 34 year old saying that 18 is too young for him is beyond reasonable.

you have probably dated enough that you know what gets automaticaly excluded from the dating pool, though. for someone who hasn't dated.....could probably stand to be slightly more open. But that's just my take. 

Okay, fair enough... but 18 and 34? That is a pretty bad idea in an objective sense too IMO. And 18 year old is essentially clueless. In almost all cases, a teenager and person in their mid-30s aren't going to be compatible, and yeah, it's a bit icky too. But in any case, the very idea of dating an 18 year old actually creeps Thoughts_Arrive out. I'd say that feeling justifiably rules that age group out, and I really don't think a lack of experience has anything to do with that.

Those two posts are pretty arrogant Allie, lol!
There are 20 year olds that are way smarter and could get the best of you any category you can think of, you can bet on that.  
Were you clueless when you were 18?  I sure wasn't.  Maybe I didn't have all the wisdom I have now, but I wasn't the clueless child that 18ers are often painted to be.

OffSheGoes35

If this thread has proven anything, it is that most of us are arrogant. Or is that just me? 

OffSheGoes35

Could be just me, I would never rule that out.

rgambs

OffSheGoes35 said:

Could be just me, I would never rule that out.

No, we are definitely an arrogant group lol

PJ_Soul

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Yeah, I don't know about this 40+ year old divorcee theory guys. You seem to be recommending to Thoughts_Arrive that he go for cougars! .... Or actually, you're warning him that most of these women are cougars and that he couldn't handle them. I know they exist, but I don't think they are anywhere near being the majority of available divorced women.
And why would a guy in his early 30s be actively going for women a decade older than him?? He probably wants children...

I'm just trying to convince TA not to dismiss possibilities and opportunities so zealously.  I think the idea that a person misses out on a deep and lasting love because they categorize people into these rigid yes/no categories without ever being open is a serious tragedy.
Do you really believe that there aren't any 20 somethings out there that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?  Of course there are!

No there aren't, because I have no interest in dating someone in their 20s. It would be weird for me and I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't even get most of my pop culture references, lol. If something makes you uncomfortable in this context or simply doesn't appeal to you, I think it's more than reasonable to not do it. One needn't be open to EVERYTHING. We all have our preferences. I mean, I could say to any guy in his 30s, well, do you really believe that there aren't any 50+ year old women that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?? Well, sure, of course, but most aren't open to it for a reason.
And yes, a 34 year old saying that 18 is too young for him is beyond reasonable.

you have probably dated enough that you know what gets automaticaly excluded from the dating pool, though. for someone who hasn't dated.....could probably stand to be slightly more open. But that's just my take. 

Okay, fair enough... but 18 and 34? That is a pretty bad idea in an objective sense too IMO. And 18 year old is essentially clueless. In almost all cases, a teenager and person in their mid-30s aren't going to be compatible, and yeah, it's a bit icky too. But in any case, the very idea of dating an 18 year old actually creeps Thoughts_Arrive out. I'd say that feeling justifiably rules that age group out, and I really don't think a lack of experience has anything to do with that.

not in all cases.  you could have a very mature 18 year old and a somewhat immature 34 year old that are very compatible. would I do it? no. but I think ruling it out completely without any knowledge is excluding potential matches. 

yes, I'd say if the gut feeling is "creepy", then probably exclusion makes sense. it would be pretty difficult to get past that if that's your first reaction. probably wouldn't last long. but it just seems that's not the only rule TA has about what he's looking for. could be wrong though. 

That is why I said in "almost" all cases.
I think anyone is perfectly capable of knowing if that scenario would work for them, experienced or not. Let's not underestimate T_A's ability to know what he's not into. He does have knowledge of 18 years old in general and of himself. I don't think his issue is that he's too picky. No offense T_A, but you're always full of excuses for why you don't do stuff. You not being able to meet people over the age of 22 is just another excuse. Your age requirements for dating and perfectly normal. Your roadblock is that you're using that as an excuse to not meet anyone, when there are plenty of women closer to your age all over the place, and you being a student doesn't keep you from them.

PJ_Soul

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Yeah, I don't know about this 40+ year old divorcee theory guys. You seem to be recommending to Thoughts_Arrive that he go for cougars! .... Or actually, you're warning him that most of these women are cougars and that he couldn't handle them. I know they exist, but I don't think they are anywhere near being the majority of available divorced women.
And why would a guy in his early 30s be actively going for women a decade older than him?? He probably wants children...

I'm just trying to convince TA not to dismiss possibilities and opportunities so zealously.  I think the idea that a person misses out on a deep and lasting love because they categorize people into these rigid yes/no categories without ever being open is a serious tragedy.
Do you really believe that there aren't any 20 somethings out there that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?  Of course there are!

No there aren't, because I have no interest in dating someone in their 20s. It would be weird for me and I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't even get most of my pop culture references, lol. If something makes you uncomfortable in this context or simply doesn't appeal to you, I think it's more than reasonable to not do it. One needn't be open to EVERYTHING. We all have our preferences. I mean, I could say to any guy in his 30s, well, do you really believe that there aren't any 50+ year old women that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?? Well, sure, of course, but most aren't open to it for a reason.
And yes, a 34 year old saying that 18 is too young for him is beyond reasonable.

PJ_Soul said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Yeah, I don't know about this 40+ year old divorcee theory guys. You seem to be recommending to Thoughts_Arrive that he go for cougars! .... Or actually, you're warning him that most of these women are cougars and that he couldn't handle them. I know they exist, but I don't think they are anywhere near being the majority of available divorced women.
And why would a guy in his early 30s be actively going for women a decade older than him?? He probably wants children...

I'm just trying to convince TA not to dismiss possibilities and opportunities so zealously.  I think the idea that a person misses out on a deep and lasting love because they categorize people into these rigid yes/no categories without ever being open is a serious tragedy.
Do you really believe that there aren't any 20 somethings out there that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?  Of course there are!

No there aren't, because I have no interest in dating someone in their 20s. It would be weird for me and I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't even get most of my pop culture references, lol. If something makes you uncomfortable in this context or simply doesn't appeal to you, I think it's more than reasonable to not do it. One needn't be open to EVERYTHING. We all have our preferences. I mean, I could say to any guy in his 30s, well, do you really believe that there aren't any 50+ year old women that could match you and make you happy if you were open to it?? Well, sure, of course, but most aren't open to it for a reason.
And yes, a 34 year old saying that 18 is too young for him is beyond reasonable.

you have probably dated enough that you know what gets automaticaly excluded from the dating pool, though. for someone who hasn't dated.....could probably stand to be slightly more open. But that's just my take. 

Okay, fair enough... but 18 and 34? That is a pretty bad idea in an objective sense too IMO. And 18 year old is essentially clueless. In almost all cases, a teenager and person in their mid-30s aren't going to be compatible, and yeah, it's a bit icky too. But in any case, the very idea of dating an 18 year old actually creeps Thoughts_Arrive out. I'd say that feeling justifiably rules that age group out, and I really don't think a lack of experience has anything to do with that.

Those two posts are pretty arrogant Allie, lol!
There are 20 year olds that are way smarter and could get the best of you any category you can think of, you can bet on that.  
Were you clueless when you were 18?  I sure wasn't.  Maybe I didn't have all the wisdom I have now, but I wasn't the clueless child that 18ers are often painted to be.

It has nothing to do with being smart. It's simply about experience.  I didn't mean clueless in general, I meant clueless about relationships. I can guarantee you that no 20 year old is besting me when it comes to applying life experience to reading people and decision-making when it comes to relationships. Yes, I stand by that statement. It's not arrogance, it's just acknowledging reality.

dankind

Crimson flames tied through my ears
Rollin’ high and mighty traps
Pounced with fire on flaming roads
Using ideas as my maps
“We’ll meet on edges, soon,” said I
Proud ’neath heated brow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now

Half-wracked prejudice leaped forth
“Rip down all hate,” I screamed
Lies that life is black and white
Spoke from my skull. I dreamed
Romantic facts of musketeers
Foundationed deep, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now

Girls’ faces formed the forward path
From phony jealousy
To memorizing politics
Of ancient history
Flung down by corpse evangelists
Unthought of, though, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now

A self-ordained professor’s tongue
Too serious to fool
Spouted out that liberty
Is just equality in school
“Equality,” I spoke the word
As if a wedding vow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now

In a soldier’s stance, I aimed my hand
At the mongrel dogs who teach
Fearing not that I’d become my enemy
In the instant that I preach
My pathway led by confusion boats
Mutiny from stern to bow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now

brianlux

rgambs said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

Could be just me, I would never rule that out.

No, we are definitely an arrogant group lol

And deep..don't forget deep.