Dying alone

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  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    brianlux said:
    rgambs said:
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    Could be just me, I would never rule that out.
    No, we are definitely an arrogant group lol
    And deep..don't forget deep.
    And funny as all get out.
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    edited April 2018
    Thank you all for your posts.
    Too many to reply individually, I would but I have a bit of work to do for university so cannot stay long here.
    To reply to points made......
    I don't think I am fit to be a dad so adoption is out of the question.
    Yes, I need to move out. I worry that the stress of going through a moving out will impact on my grades which I cannot let slip.
    I don't know where to meet same age/older women, not many at uni, they are way older (late 40s to 50s) with families, I don't like online dating and don't like nightclubs/loud bars.
    I am open to someone a bit older as I find many girls I meet immature even in their mid to late 20s.
    Yes I make excuses but I don't do it deliberately to get out of things and piss you all off, I don't mean to. It's just how it is for me.
    My lecturer actually said you learn a lot as a trainee psychologist by being receiving therapy and the therapeutic relationship can heal both client and psychologist, we're all humans, we can all relate to each other, therapist to client, we can learn from our clients.
    A counsellor I saw recently responded to me saying I am not fit to be a psychologist because I am not free of troubles that that is like saying a GP is not fit to be a GP because they got the cold/flu. 
    HFD - no offence taken with the tough love. It's needed at times with all of us.
    Hedonist - when I said I don't want to work with people I meant in an office team environment where I've been bullied in every job I've had. I want to work one on one with people in a therapy context.
    ThirtyBills - I wish I had the guts to tell that guy to fk off at the time, as well as all the others that gave me a hard time.

    Any points I missed, I apologise. 30+ replies is a lot.
    I have a few assignments due soon so I will probably need to stay off this forum for a few weeks until I get my work done.


    Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,655
    edited April 2018
    Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG

    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • tweedyfanjen
    tweedyfanjen Posts: 881
    edited April 2018
    Maybe I should go to one of those! I need some new friends. :lol:
    I'm through with screaming
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,655
    edited April 2018
    tweedyfanjen said:
    Maybe I should go to one of those! I need some new friends. :lol:
    Yeah you should! They sound great. I haven't done it yet (haven't really felt the need so far... but I can see myself trying it out someday), but a few of my friends have - those who were new to town and wanted to make new friends as adults - and they had a good time and met friends. There is literally a group for everyone. I think most cities have a meetup site going, and it's quite popular.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Meltdown99
    Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    It depends, doesn’t ... I mean if your dating to find a long term relationship, then obviously you are going to want be able to connect on multiple level, but if the 34 year old and 18-19 year old is only hooking just have fun, then I doubt connecting on the same level is likely not important.  
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,655
    Meltdown99 said:
    It depends, doesn’t ... I mean if your dating to find a long term relationship, then obviously you are going to want be able to connect on multiple level, but if the 34 year old and 18-19 year old is only hooking just have fun, then I doubt connecting on the same level is likely not important.  
    Well yeah. I thought we were talking about real relationships, not just finding people to screw for a while.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    edited April 2018
    I would really like to hear more from PJ_Soul and jnimhaoileoin (and others if they want to join in) about the positive things that come from being single and not actively searching.
    Post edited by OffSheGoes35 on
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    edited April 2018
    One positive thing is...having the whole bed to yourself. May take some getting used to at first, but it is really nice once you do.
    Post edited by OffSheGoes35 on
  • Miss.Snowdrop
    Miss.Snowdrop Scotland Posts: 192
    I love travelling by myself. I don't have to ask anyone or make compromises on where to go, what to see, when to eat and where. I just whatever the hell I want. It's amazing! And you meet more people, esp locals this way...
  • kce8
    kce8 Posts: 1,636
    Just start a new thread about it! Could be interesting.... 
  • kce8
    kce8 Posts: 1,636
    Something positive would be great...
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    I reckon single could be great fun. Ive never been single ever. Wow strange to think really


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    I tried and for some reason, wasn't able to choose a category in order to start a new discussion, so if someone else wants to start the thread or tell me what I'm possibly doing wrong...I'm open to suggestions.
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    Actually, it would be better if someone else started the thread. I suck at thread creation & maintenance, seriously.
  • kce8
    kce8 Posts: 1,636
    You could call it "Singles Theory"... ;)
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Ha, maintaining myself is a feat in itself, let alone tending to a thread of mine!

    For me, adopting the "if it happens, it will in its own time" philosophy made a huge difference.  It wasn't even a conscious choice, more like self-evolution.  There are always avenues to be taken if someone is honestly looking for a relationship, but if not?  Just enjoy the ride and see where it takes you...and to whom.
  • jnimhaoileoin
    jnimhaoileoin Baile Átha Cliath Posts: 2,682
    I've never not been single so have the advantage that I can't really miss what I've never had. As an introvert I'm most comfortable in my own company and I appreciate being able to do as I like and suit myself. I travel alone and I never have to factor anyone else into my plans. My time is my own and only I decide how I spend it. The freedom is wonderful
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    PJ_Soul said:
    Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG

    Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well.
    A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship. 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Meltdown99
    Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG

    Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well.
    A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship. 
    Then if you are not willing to go out and meet people, then how do you expect to meet people?  You say you are lonely. what are you doing to end your loneliness?  
    Give Peas A Chance…

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