PJ show w/an infant - for those that have brought one, and for those who sat near someone who did

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  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 18,778
    mwplum said:
    Haha, mindyjohnson you easily confuse the contemplation of doing something with actually doing it. Firstly, we're talking about a PJ show here, which in my experience is typically comprised of well educated, polite, and considerate middle aged people. Of course you're going to get the odd idiot in any crowd, but I'd say amongst the Pearl Jam fan base the proportion of said idiots is much less than an average crowd. A PJ show in 2018 is not the same as it was in 1992, nor is it a circle-mosh punk show or a sweaty drug-fuelled EDM show.

    I stared this thread nine months in advance of the shows to get some feedback for contemplation because:
    a) I wanted to put my child's interests first - and see if anyone had brought an infant with success and/or failure; and
    b) because I wanted to be considerate of other fans around us if we were to bring our little guy - to see if anyone has had their concert experience negatively affected by a young one.

    If you called child services, you would be wasting their time. The lynchpin that got me to quit drinking was the fact that we were having a child. I have been present, alert, and attentive for every moment of his life. I was there for the 17 hours of labour and actually caught him when he came into this world (yes, the hospital let me do that). I slept on the floor in the hospital for the first five days while he was treated for jaundice. As previously mentioned, I was there for every moment of his first four months, and now that I'm back at work, I am here in the morning to hug him and say goodbye, and when the work day is over I rush home to relieve my wife and we play for a few hours before giving him his nightly bath and put him to sleep. Weekends are spent entirely at home, or on family outings. All of that to say, you may want to consider that you don't have all the facts before lashing out in such a harsh and judgemental way.


    :clap:
    Headstones Fan Boy
  • mace1229mace1229 Posts: 3,584
    CM189191 said:
    stay off planes too, thx!
    I second third and fourth this. Parents, keep your whinny loud crying kids off the airplanes, take a bus or drive. Next crying kid who kicks my seat on a airplane is gunna get an eye roll from me. I mean it. Whose with me?
    I always complain to the flight attendant when I get stuck next to a baby. Seems to happy every time I fly.
    The dirty look I get from my wife when she's holding our baby is totally worth it though.
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 18,778
    Vedd Hedd said:
    as a parent of 2 kids, there is no way I would consider taking an 18 month old to a concert.   
    1.  Its a night time event, and in most cases, you wont be getting home until 11:30 Pm at the earliest, most likely even later than that. 
    2. Its attended by 40K people, many of whom are drinking, or other things.  
    3. While an 18 month old can enjoy music....3 hours of loud, dark and scary are a different story.  

    My daughter as gone to 2 concerts, and she has genuinely enjoyed them.   But she is 8 years old.  She can walk, she knows the songs by heart, she is used to staying up later every once in a while.  I dont have to carry her around, or change her diapers, or worry she is going deaf, cause she had earplugs. 


    you do recall that at 18 months they don't have the same sleeping schedule as a 5 year old, right? this is what boggles my mind, that people think because you have a baby that you need to be home by a certain time. that's true for kids who are older and have stopped napping and whatnot, but the time from birth to about 2 years old my wife and I didn't have many limits on how late we'd stay out. our kids would sleep in their car seat if need be, and easily transferred to their crib when we got home, or if they were up, fine. 

    an 18 month old kid has zero clue what drinking or "other things" is. I was more concerned about bringing my 8 year old to weezer for that reason than I would be an infant/toddler. 


    Headstones Fan Boy
  • rick1zoo2rick1zoo2 between a rock and a dumb placePosts: 12,622
    mace1229 said:
    CM189191 said:
    stay off planes too, thx!
    I second third and fourth this. Parents, keep your whinny loud crying kids off the airplanes, take a bus or drive. Next crying kid who kicks my seat on a airplane is gunna get an eye roll from me. I mean it. Whose with me?
    I always complain to the flight attendant when I get stuck next to a baby. Seems to happy every time I fly.
    The dirty look I get from my wife when she's holding our baby is totally worth it though.
    ha!
  • JimmyVJimmyV Boston's MetroWestPosts: 12,757
    mace1229 said:
    CM189191 said:
    stay off planes too, thx!
    I second third and fourth this. Parents, keep your whinny loud crying kids off the airplanes, take a bus or drive. Next crying kid who kicks my seat on a airplane is gunna get an eye roll from me. I mean it. Whose with me?
    I always complain to the flight attendant when I get stuck next to a baby. Seems to happy every time I fly.
    The dirty look I get from my wife when she's holding our baby is totally worth it though.
    :lol:
    ___________________________________________

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  • NM70698NM70698 Posts: 35
    I've seen a lot of it lately at PJ shows and always think it must be traumatizing for the child, even with ear protection.  Dark, lights flashing, and loud thumping noises that they dont understand. 
    Excellent points and well said. 
  • lexicondevillexicondevil Bay AreaPosts: 859
    Please don't. I think anyone doing this is just being selfish and disrespectful with the child and everyone around him/her.

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  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 18,778
    NM70698 said:
    I've seen a lot of it lately at PJ shows and always think it must be traumatizing for the child, even with ear protection.  Dark, lights flashing, and loud thumping noises that they dont understand. 
    Excellent points and well said. 
    it's no different than brining your baby to the Mom and Me movies that movie theatres have some afternoons. darkness, loud noises, flashing lights. And yet, it's ENCOURAGED so parents can get out of the house for some entertainment on their own without judgment. imagine that. 
    Headstones Fan Boy
  • JimmyVJimmyV Boston's MetroWestPosts: 12,757
    NM70698 said:
    I've seen a lot of it lately at PJ shows and always think it must be traumatizing for the child, even with ear protection.  Dark, lights flashing, and loud thumping noises that they dont understand. 
    Excellent points and well said. 
    it's no different than brining your baby to the Mom and Me movies that movie theatres have some afternoons. darkness, loud noises, flashing lights. And yet, it's ENCOURAGED so parents can get out of the house for some entertainment on their own without judgment. imagine that. 
    Except no one at the movie theater is getting drunk, smoking pot, dropping whatever else, bumping people while they dance, etc.
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  • mace1229mace1229 Posts: 3,584
    The movie theater is different. My assumption was that those were encouraged so that anyone with a crying baby goes to that show and doesn't disrupt other showings. And if you go to that show you know what you;re getting into, so dont complain about any babies.
  • cp3iversoncp3iverson Posts: 5,422
    edited January 2018
    Told u this thread always ends up the same :lol:   

    Im not one to judge unless i see those parents who walk ten feet in front of their toddler in the parking lot. That tends to piss me off.  A concert?  We all have our own opinions.  

    Just watch your kids. Respect them. Respect people around you.  Its been said by a lot of people here already.  I dont even want to sound preachy to other parents here.  I just love being a dad. 


    Post edited by cp3iverson on
  • Vedd HeddVedd Hedd Posts: 3,067
    Vedd Hedd said:
    as a parent of 2 kids, there is no way I would consider taking an 18 month old to a concert.   
    1.  Its a night time event, and in most cases, you wont be getting home until 11:30 Pm at the earliest, most likely even later than that. 
    2. Its attended by 40K people, many of whom are drinking, or other things.  
    3. While an 18 month old can enjoy music....3 hours of loud, dark and scary are a different story.  

    My daughter as gone to 2 concerts, and she has genuinely enjoyed them.   But she is 8 years old.  She can walk, she knows the songs by heart, she is used to staying up later every once in a while.  I dont have to carry her around, or change her diapers, or worry she is going deaf, cause she had earplugs. 


    you do recall that at 18 months they don't have the same sleeping schedule as a 5 year old, right? this is what boggles my mind, that people think because you have a baby that you need to be home by a certain time. that's true for kids who are older and have stopped napping and whatnot, but the time from birth to about 2 years old my wife and I didn't have many limits on how late we'd stay out. our kids would sleep in their car seat if need be, and easily transferred to their crib when we got home, or if they were up, fine. 

    an 18 month old kid has zero clue what drinking or "other things" is. I was more concerned about bringing my 8 year old to weezer for that reason than I would be an infant/toddler. 


    Right, they dont have the same sleeping schedules, but generally, most toddlers go to bed sometime in the 7-10 range.   And they sleep a lot.  And they need that sleep.  So, a concert would sort of throw that up in the air. 

    And i mentioned the drinking, not because a toddler will learn to enjoy booze, but because "things happen" when people drink.   Pushing, fights, etc.  Holding an 18 month old during a concert, for 3-4 hours, where all that is going on, with all the attention that toddlers need, just wouldnt even be considered in my mind. 
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  • Vedd HeddVedd Hedd Posts: 3,067
    NM70698 said:
    I've seen a lot of it lately at PJ shows and always think it must be traumatizing for the child, even with ear protection.  Dark, lights flashing, and loud thumping noises that they dont understand. 
    Excellent points and well said. 
    it's no different than brining your baby to the Mom and Me movies that movie theatres have some afternoons. darkness, loud noises, flashing lights. And yet, it's ENCOURAGED so parents can get out of the house for some entertainment on their own without judgment. imagine that. 
     A movie doesnt have 40 thousand people, and usually lasts 2 hours.  And most kids are accustomed to sitting in a parents lap and watchign some TV, so its not too big of a stretch from being at home.  A movie doesnt cost $200-$300 dollars.  And the "mom and me" movies are designed for toddlers, and its understood that other toddlers will be there, likely making noise.  You go INTO that movie knowing that there will be other toddlers there, and that those toddlers might cry, crawl around, etc.  A concert really isnt the environment for an 18 month old.....at least...not a stadium/arena concert, unless you have a skybox.    if its an open air concert, and there is a lot of room for someone to put down a blanket and not be trampled....I could understand that a bit. 
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  • drakeheuer14drakeheuer14 Posts: 2,574
    “the prospect of taking my young one to the Fenway shows carries a lot of significance.“

    Wouldn’t you want them to remember it and understand the meaning first? Wouldn’t that be more special than just a picture there? 
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  • JimmyVJimmyV Boston's MetroWestPosts: 12,757
    I don't want to be at a show where something happens to a baby. I don't want there to be a show where something happens to a baby. We can act like it will be fine and nothing will happen right up until the moment it isn't fine and something does happen.
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  • RP112579RP112579 Tinley Park, ILPosts: 2,993
    I'd rather have a child in my row than a drunken moron that's acting like a child.
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  • PP193448PP193448 Springboro, OHPosts: 3,920
    RP112579 said:
    I'd rather have a child in my row than a drunken moron that's acting like a child.

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  • Vedd HeddVedd Hedd Posts: 3,067
    RP112579 said:
    I'd rather have a child in my row than a drunken moron that's acting like a child.
    Same here.  I would rather have a kid that is enjoying themselves and actually listening to the music, than a drunk who is constantly talking, etc.  
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  • The Camaros HoodThe Camaros Hood Boston, MAPosts: 186
    JimmyV said:
    I would be very uncomfortable if I got to my seats at a rock concert and there was someone sitting next to us with a baby in their arms.
    This ^^^^^^^
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  • Vedd HeddVedd Hedd Posts: 3,067
    JimmyV said:
    I don't want to be at a show where something happens to a baby. I don't want there to be a show where something happens to a baby. We can act like it will be fine and nothing will happen right up until the moment it isn't fine and something does happen.
    This too.  I dont know what the cutoff would be for me, but 18 months just seems too young.  Not only for the kid, but for everyone else. 

    I DO get the sentimentality of the show....but at 18 months.....its not like this would be PJ's farewell tour.   Heck, 2 years ago they played Fenway and Wrigley...and we didnt think THAT would happen again, and here we are.  Im sure PJ will still be playing in a few years.   Either way, the risk for an 18 month old would be too great for me to take them. 
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  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 47,590
    edited January 2018
    JimmyV said:
    never took my infant to a big rock show, but an outdoor concert in my city when my daughter was 6 weeks old. at a public park. not very loud, we stood WELL back of the stage so noise wasn't even close to an issue. Difference is, no seats. public space so we could be as far away as we needed to be. daughter slept through the entire thing. 
    See, if this were the scenario we were talking about my response would have been different. Someone bringing a baby to an event in that kind of setting I think is fine. Bringing a baby to the cramped seats at Fenway for a Pearl Jam concert is something else entirely.
    Absolutely. Not comparable at all, particularly because nobody else is stuck having to sit next to a baby the entire show.
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  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 47,590
    edited January 2018
    Vedd Hedd said:
    as a parent of 2 kids, there is no way I would consider taking an 18 month old to a concert.   
    1.  Its a night time event, and in most cases, you wont be getting home until 11:30 Pm at the earliest, most likely even later than that. 
    2. Its attended by 40K people, many of whom are drinking, or other things.  
    3. While an 18 month old can enjoy music....3 hours of loud, dark and scary are a different story.  

    My daughter as gone to 2 concerts, and she has genuinely enjoyed them.   But she is 8 years old.  She can walk, she knows the songs by heart, she is used to staying up later every once in a while.  I dont have to carry her around, or change her diapers, or worry she is going deaf, cause she had earplugs. 


    you do recall that at 18 months they don't have the same sleeping schedule as a 5 year old, right? this is what boggles my mind, that people think because you have a baby that you need to be home by a certain time. that's true for kids who are older and have stopped napping and whatnot, but the time from birth to about 2 years old my wife and I didn't have many limits on how late we'd stay out. our kids would sleep in their car seat if need be, and easily transferred to their crib when we got home, or if they were up, fine. 

    an 18 month old kid has zero clue what drinking or "other things" is. I was more concerned about bringing my 8 year old to weezer for that reason than I would be an infant/toddler. 


    That I agree with. I recall that I was out for a late dinner with a friend of mine, and she is actually a mom, so this surprised me more... She looked over at another table where there was obviously a family dinner happening, and someone there had a very young infant with them, in the car carrier seat. I guess my friend just decided she was going to be one of those mom-shaming moms for a bit, and went off about how it was too late for that baby to be out. It was maybe 9pm. I was completely baffled by this opinion. A little baby doesn't have a bedtime at all for one thing. But even if it had been a 6 year old, who does have a bedtime and that schedule should generally be adhered to, I would think that family events would be the one exception, yes?? I mean, every parent in the world isn't going to refuse all family dinners because they can't get home by 7:30! That is ridiculous.
    Infants still shouldn't be at concerts, for any reason but the fact that they "should be in bed", since it doesn't work that way with infants.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Hahahaha
  • Use common sense, don’t bring an infant to a rock concert. You got people smoking weed, cigs and almost always a knucklehead who is drunk and either pukes, gets in a fight or acts like a moron. Be a good parent and keep the baby at home. Stupid question if you ask me. Sorry to be so blunt. But congrats on getting sober, that takes balls! Leave the kid at home though.
    I 100% agree. My son wanted to come to PJ 2 years ago when he was 8 1/2. I said no. He is coming this year though- he will be 11 and ready to rock.
  • mwplummwplum Posts: 1,349
    “the prospect of taking my young one to the Fenway shows carries a lot of significance.“

    Wouldn’t you want them to remember it and understand the meaning first? Wouldn’t that be more special than just a picture there? 

    Surely at that age he wouldn't remember being there, but it would be a nice story to tell him when he's older something to the effect of:

    "you never got to meet your grandfather as he passed away before you were born. He was a great man and a great teacher. He had a positive impact on many students and would go out of his way to help those around him. One time at Fenway in 2016, the Hall of Fame band Pearl Jam even dedicated a song to him; a song they hadn't played for 14 years. It was a very emotional and significant moment for me and your mom. Two years later, they played the historic baseball stadium again, and me and your mom flew across the country and brought you back to where that all took place, you were only 1 years old, but you were bouncing and smiling and had a great time"

    ...there's no guarantee they're going to play Fenway ever again, let alone in 10 years. Frankly, I think it would be a lot more difficult trying to take a child between the ages of 2-10 to a show than a 1 year old.


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  • Vedd HeddVedd Hedd Posts: 3,067
    PJ_Soul said:
    Vedd Hedd said:
    as a parent of 2 kids, there is no way I would consider taking an 18 month old to a concert.   
    1.  Its a night time event, and in most cases, you wont be getting home until 11:30 Pm at the earliest, most likely even later than that. 
    2. Its attended by 40K people, many of whom are drinking, or other things.  
    3. While an 18 month old can enjoy music....3 hours of loud, dark and scary are a different story.  

    My daughter as gone to 2 concerts, and she has genuinely enjoyed them.   But she is 8 years old.  She can walk, she knows the songs by heart, she is used to staying up later every once in a while.  I dont have to carry her around, or change her diapers, or worry she is going deaf, cause she had earplugs. 


    you do recall that at 18 months they don't have the same sleeping schedule as a 5 year old, right? this is what boggles my mind, that people think because you have a baby that you need to be home by a certain time. that's true for kids who are older and have stopped napping and whatnot, but the time from birth to about 2 years old my wife and I didn't have many limits on how late we'd stay out. our kids would sleep in their car seat if need be, and easily transferred to their crib when we got home, or if they were up, fine. 

    an 18 month old kid has zero clue what drinking or "other things" is. I was more concerned about bringing my 8 year old to weezer for that reason than I would be an infant/toddler. 


    That I agree with. I recall that I was out for a late dinner with a friend of mine, and she is actually a mom, so this surprised me more... She looked over at another table where there was obviously a family dinner happening, and someone there had a very young infant with them, in the car carrier seat. I guess my friend just decided she was going to be one of those mom-shaming moms for a bit, and went off about how it was too late for that baby to be out. It was maybe 9pm. I was completely baffled by this opinion. A little baby doesn't have a bedtime at all for one thing. But even if it had been a 6 year old, who does have a bedtime and that schedule should generally be adhered to, I would think that family events would be the one exception, yes?? I mean, every parent in the world isn't going to refuse all family dinners because they can't get home by 7:30! That is ridiculous.
    Infants still shouldn't be at concerts, for any reason but the fact that they "should be in bed", since it doesn't work that way with infants.
    Agreed, but there is a difference between an infant and a toddler.   The kid we are talking about is 18 months. So, a year and a half.  This is a kid that is likely walking, and babbling.  Not a baby in a car seat.   Toddlers have bedtimes.  Infants do not.  Either way, I think my point is being missed.    Kids get hungry, tired, cranky pretty easily.  Especially toddlers.  Its not so much that one night is going to destroy their lives...its that sometimes, if they get in that cranky zone, there is no comforting them.    The person bringing an 18 month old would have to weight that.   And be prepared to leave early.  And seriously....I am 100% in favor of bringing young kids to shows.   But I dont want an 18 month old crying right next to me.  First, I would feel terrible for the kid.  Then I would feel terrible that the kid just screamed through that version of Angel I had been waiting to hear. 
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  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 47,590
    edited January 2018
    Vedd Hedd said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Vedd Hedd said:
    as a parent of 2 kids, there is no way I would consider taking an 18 month old to a concert.   
    1.  Its a night time event, and in most cases, you wont be getting home until 11:30 Pm at the earliest, most likely even later than that. 
    2. Its attended by 40K people, many of whom are drinking, or other things.  
    3. While an 18 month old can enjoy music....3 hours of loud, dark and scary are a different story.  

    My daughter as gone to 2 concerts, and she has genuinely enjoyed them.   But she is 8 years old.  She can walk, she knows the songs by heart, she is used to staying up later every once in a while.  I dont have to carry her around, or change her diapers, or worry she is going deaf, cause she had earplugs. 


    you do recall that at 18 months they don't have the same sleeping schedule as a 5 year old, right? this is what boggles my mind, that people think because you have a baby that you need to be home by a certain time. that's true for kids who are older and have stopped napping and whatnot, but the time from birth to about 2 years old my wife and I didn't have many limits on how late we'd stay out. our kids would sleep in their car seat if need be, and easily transferred to their crib when we got home, or if they were up, fine. 

    an 18 month old kid has zero clue what drinking or "other things" is. I was more concerned about bringing my 8 year old to weezer for that reason than I would be an infant/toddler. 


    That I agree with. I recall that I was out for a late dinner with a friend of mine, and she is actually a mom, so this surprised me more... She looked over at another table where there was obviously a family dinner happening, and someone there had a very young infant with them, in the car carrier seat. I guess my friend just decided she was going to be one of those mom-shaming moms for a bit, and went off about how it was too late for that baby to be out. It was maybe 9pm. I was completely baffled by this opinion. A little baby doesn't have a bedtime at all for one thing. But even if it had been a 6 year old, who does have a bedtime and that schedule should generally be adhered to, I would think that family events would be the one exception, yes?? I mean, every parent in the world isn't going to refuse all family dinners because they can't get home by 7:30! That is ridiculous.
    Infants still shouldn't be at concerts, for any reason but the fact that they "should be in bed", since it doesn't work that way with infants.
    Agreed, but there is a difference between an infant and a toddler.   The kid we are talking about is 18 months. So, a year and a half.  This is a kid that is likely walking, and babbling.  Not a baby in a car seat.   Toddlers have bedtimes.  Infants do not.  Either way, I think my point is being missed.    Kids get hungry, tired, cranky pretty easily.  Especially toddlers.  Its not so much that one night is going to destroy their lives...its that sometimes, if they get in that cranky zone, there is no comforting them.    The person bringing an 18 month old would have to weight that.   And be prepared to leave early.  And seriously....I am 100% in favor of bringing young kids to shows.   But I dont want an 18 month old crying right next to me.  First, I would feel terrible for the kid.  Then I would feel terrible that the kid just screamed through that version of Angel I had been waiting to hear. 
    That's true. In any case, my concern for the baby's state of mind and everything would completely drive me to distraction, and that is on top of the baby likely not being able to just sit there on the parent's lap for 3+ hours. Just the very presence of the child would hurt my enjoyment of the show, and surely any decent human being can acknowledge that and not bring their baby to a concert for the sake of the fans around them. I don't think I'm alone in feeling like a baby right next to me would be very uncomfortable and would negatively impact the vibe we are all looking for at this kind of show. Babies are distracting, period. There is a reason most people in a room where there's a baby tend to all focus on the baby. You may as well have someone standing next to me and blowing on a party favour the entire night or something. And god forbid the drunk dude behind us stumbles and falls into the parent/baby, or whatever. I see this kind of thing happen often enough.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Now that my son is 2-1/2 years old I would not take him because he would never last the whole show and he would disturb me and everyone else around us but when we took him at 6 months we were in reserved seating and quite a few around us commented that they didn't even know he was there.  At that age they are not on a schedule... if they fuss, they either need to eat, sleep, or have their shitty diaper changed so he hung out in the Baby Bjorn with his ear protection on and was extremely easy to have at the show with us.  As I mentioned before, we flew from Alberta to see them in Quebec City and it was more convenient for us to take him, make it a family trip, and do some sightseeing, rather than leave him at home with his grandparents.  The icing on the cake was having Eddie wave to us and meeting Boom and Jeff the next day so we have videos and pictures to share with him later in life when he understands... Because, there is a good chance, God forbid, that when he is actually old enough for me to take him again, PJ may not be touring anymore and if they are, it will be pretty cool for him to be able to tell his buddies that he was at his first PJ concert when he was only 6 months old...
  • vedpunkvedpunk Posts: 353
    edited January 2018
    As a father of two kids under 5, don’t be a dipshit and bring your young kids to a rock concert.  The OP is just being stupid and selfish. Period. I’ll be the first and probably not the last to get you kicked out of the venue.
    Post edited by vedpunk on
  • jdopjjdopj Posts: 443
    vedpunk said:
    As a father of two kids under 5, don’t be a dipshit and bring your young kids to a rock concert.  The OP is just being stupid and selfish. Period. I’ll be the first and probably not the last to get you kicked out of the venue.
    I also have 2 kids 5 and under as well and I agree 100%. There are plenty of memories to make, just not this. This is your passion.

    That being said I would be uncomfortable sitting next to you. It would change my mood and the vibe.
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