Dating as A PJ Fan

ratmando

Does anyone else have a hard time finding someone special because they just don't like PJ? (It's a massive deal breaker, right?)

lastexitlondon

I was lucky i fell in love with a pj fan and we now have a little baby pj fan.

F Me In The Brain

I don't like 90% of the music my wife listens to.  She does like Pearl Jam, but I would not say it would have been a deal breaker.
Now...me having to listen to the Fugees with any regularity?  That likely would have been.

tempo_n_groove

I listen to all kinds of music so it doesn't matter to me.

markymark550

Liking PJ wasn't a deal breaker for me. I don't know too many PJ fans in my area and the ones I do know are all guys.

My advice would be to find someone and slowly convert them into a PJ fan. My wife didn't really care for them at first. She liked Better Man, but that was about it. 14 years later, she was excited to go to the last show we attended.

dankind

F Me In The Brain said:

I don't like 90% of the music my wife listens to.  She does like Pearl Jam, but I would not say it would have been a deal breaker.
Now...me having to listen to the Fugees with any regularity?  That likely would have been.

That's just ignorance on your part. The Score is every bit the masterpiece that No Code is.

F Me In The Brain

dankind said:

F Me In The Brain said:

I don't like 90% of the music my wife listens to.  She does like Pearl Jam, but I would not say it would have been a deal breaker.
Now...me having to listen to the Fugees with any regularity?  That likely would have been.

That's just ignorance on your part. The Score is every bit the masterpiece that No Code is.

I don't know if it is ignorance...I knew/know of their music.  I cannot stand it.  (So you could call it my poor taste.)  It would absolutely be an issue if she insisted on listening to that every day when we were first dating.

That is fine, she doesn't like it when I play Priest or Metallica.  (Unless it is pop Metallica black album) 

Different strokes. 

Personally, would not be a deal breaker for me if someone didn't like my favorite band.  That could possibly put one in the category of 'too picky' imo.

dankind

F Me In The Brain said:

dankind said:

F Me In The Brain said:

I don't like 90% of the music my wife listens to.  She does like Pearl Jam, but I would not say it would have been a deal breaker.
Now...me having to listen to the Fugees with any regularity?  That likely would have been.

That's just ignorance on your part. The Score is every bit the masterpiece that No Code is.

I don't know if it is ignorance...I knew/know of their music.  I cannot stand it.  (So you could call it my poor taste.)  It would absolutely be an issue if she insisted on listening to that every day when we were first dating.

That is fine, she doesn't like it when I play Priest or Metallica.  (Unless it is pop Metallica black album) 

Different strokes. 

Personally, would not be a deal breaker for me if someone didn't like my favorite band.  That could possibly put one in the category of 'too picky' imo.

I hear you. I broke up with a sorority girl who wouldn't turn off Des'ree's "You Gotta Be" in her car. Total The Dude "hate the fucking Eagles" moment. I had a long, hot walk back to my dorm, but as long I didn't have to hear that fucking song, it was all good.

F Me In The Brain

  Lebowski shows up again.  Love it!

ratmando

you guys rock

KC138045

I'm recently back in the dating game after 14 years of marriage.  Its not a deal breaker if they don't like Pearl Jam but It would be great to meet someone who shares the obsession.  

Telling them about Peal Jam is almost on the same level of telling them how many kids I have lol

ratmando

Right???  I was married for 12 years, we divorced 2 years ago. Dated a guy who I brought to Wrigley- where he FINALLY got it... but by then the magic was gone. Now I'm back in San Francisco area- and I can't find a SINGLE (single..get it? uhm..yeah) guy who can handle that my ipod is primarily concerts I went to- which makes for A LOT OF PJ music, (RHCP, Primus, PJ Harvey, Motown, too)

rgambs

dankind said:

F Me In The Brain said:

I don't like 90% of the music my wife listens to.  She does like Pearl Jam, but I would not say it would have been a deal breaker.
Now...me having to listen to the Fugees with any regularity?  That likely would have been.

That's just ignorance on your part. The Score is every bit the masterpiece that No Code is.

Get yourself to hospital right away, you may have had a stroke!

dankind

rgambs said:

dankind said:

F Me In The Brain said:

I don't like 90% of the music my wife listens to.  She does like Pearl Jam, but I would not say it would have been a deal breaker.
Now...me having to listen to the Fugees with any regularity?  That likely would have been.

That's just ignorance on your part. The Score is every bit the masterpiece that No Code is.

Get yourself to hospital right away, you may have had a stroke!

Been there. Done that. 

rgambs

Ok, well now I feel like an asshole lol

rgambs

Seriously though, I apologize for that, I was only joking and I don't hate the Fugees either.

F Me In The Brain

I'm serious.  (About the Fugees.  Love that nothing can stop the being aka Dankind.)

PJ_Soul

I wouldn't require someone to be a PJ fan specifically, but I have a hard time meeting anyone who is into music in general enough for me for the sake of going to concerts and enjoying them in the same kind of way I do, i.e. being really into the music (whatever it is) and excited about the experience. And for me, that is a deal breaker. Any significant other of mine has to be a great concert buddy for all genres. It is surprising how rare a single, middle aged man like that is, and even if they say they are, they go to shows and just stand or sit there as though they're attending a Ted Talk or something. Boring. I need a guy who will come into the pit with me and rock out!
I also require someone who is just generally that into music in terms of listening. I want to be able to just hang out and listen to records with an S.O., and to be able to enjoy talking about music with him, and to go to record stores just for fun on a lazy Sunday, etc., etc. So basically a big music nerd is what I'm looking for, but who is not a hipster. That isn't easy to find in Vancouver.
I assume anyone who is that into music would become a Pearl Jam fan on some level anyhow if they were dating me, not that that would be a particular goal on my part. I'm sure he wouldn't be skipping a PJ concert though - if he were willing to do that after I told him how amazing the show was going to be, the guy's not that into live music after all, so buh-bye, lol.

bootlegger10

I enjoy listening to Paramore, Ellie Goulding, Lana Del Rey, The National, NIne Inch Nails, etc... so unless it dance music or crappy boy band stuff it would be fine.

My deal breaker would be traveling.  She would need to like traveling (and not just to beach resorts).

dankind

rgambs said:

Seriously though, I apologize for that, I was only joking and I don't hate the Fugees either.

No apologies necessary. I knew that you were joking. 

dankind

PJ_Soul said:

I wouldn't require someone to be a PJ fan specifically, but I have a hard time meeting anyone who is into music in general enough for me for the sake of going to concerts and enjoying them in the same kind of way I do, i.e. being really into the music (whatever it is) and excited about the experience. And for me, that is a deal breaker. Any significant other of mine has to be a great concert buddy for all genres. It is surprising how rare a single, middle aged man like that is, and even if they say they are, they go to shows and just stand or sit there as though they're attending a Ted Talk or something. Boring. I need a guy who will come into the pit with me and rock out!
I also require someone who is just generally that into music in terms of listening. I want to be able just hang out and listen to records with an S.O., and to be able to enjoy talking about music with him, and to go to record stores just for fun on a lazy Sunday, etc., etc. So basically a big music nerd is what I'm looking for, but who is not a hipster. That isn't easy to find in Vancouver.
I assume anyone who is that into music would become a Pearl Jam fan on some level anyhow if they were dating me, not that that would be a particular goal on my part. I'm sure he wouldn't be skipping a PJ concert though - if he were willing to do that after I told him how amazing the show was going to be, the guy's not that into live music after all, so buh-bye, lol.

My wife doesn’t like all the same music I like—and vice versa.

It took a while for me to ask her if she wanted to go to shows with me. I used to just automatically buy two tickets, which was dumb. I almost always prefer being alone (concerts, movies, museums, you name it), and that poor woman endured at least a dozen Sonic Youth shows without really being into them. She was probably so happy when they broke up (fucking scumbag Thurston!)—although if she ever expressed as much, that might be grounds for divorce. 

And she still chooses poorly sometimes. She was a yes for Tori Amos earlier this month, but her curiosity got the better of her for that one. She started freaking out about halfway through that all the estrogen and tears in the room were making her extremely uncomfortable.

PJ_Soul

For my partner to not like the same music I like, that person would have to exclusively enjoy rap and country... and if that is the case there is no way I'd want to date them anyway.

Dr. Delight

Back in the dating world myself. 
Liking PJ has absolutely no bearing on whether I would like someone long term or not. Idc really what kind of music she likes or doesnt. Now if she wasnt a music fan at all, that might be a little odd, but again, not something that would prevent me from taking a serious interest in someone.
Dating now is scary enough as it is.

jnimhaoileoin

Personally I don't think I'd care what kind of music they like, as long as they didn't make me listen to anything I didn't like Obviously it would be nice to share something like that but there are far more important things, like politics and general morals and principles

PJ_Soul

I am just too into music to date someone who isn't a music fan too. We'd have two separate lives then (in the bad way, not the good way). Plus I would definitely want to travel for shows with my partner; it would be nice to share at least some of those experiences (doesn't have to be PJ at all), and I would want to go to a lot of concerts in my spare time. A guy who isn't a music fan and into doing those things as well probably wouldn't be too excited about spending our money like that.

Even if I wasn't obsessed, I would never even consider a person who doesn't like music at all. I find that way too weird. It's like dating someone who claims to dislike animals.

BLACK35

I just converted my wife into a PJ fan, she knew a couple of the hits, but that was it. Then I took her to her 1st show in '05 and now she can't wait for the next tour to happen. I find as each new tour since '05 arrives, it's now how many shows can we see now lol. I probably just got lucky 

Dr. Delight

^^
Good point on the travelling issue. But it also might be a good way to give each other some space and do things on your own. Of course it is fun to experience music together, especially when its mutually loved.

PJ_Soul

Dr. Delight said:

^^
Good point on the travelling issue. But it also might be a good way to give each other some space and do things on your own. Of course it is fun to experience music together, especially when its mutually loved.

I'm all for space and doing things on my own (it's actually why I'm single!), but if I were crazy enough to get into a relationship, haha, my love of music is something I would need to share with my partner, at least a fair bit of the time - it's not like I would require we attend every single show together or anything level-5 clinger, lol, but it would have to be a common addiction. If I didn't share that love there would just be a big void between us. It's too big a part of my life and too great a source of joy to not share with my S.O. I'd rather be single forever than separate that part of my life from my loved one. Plus, a couple would need to have a fair bit of money for one to be travelling for concerts, the other to perhaps travel alone for something else, and then, presumably, try to find time and money to travel together as well. I just don't see how that would work in a normal budget for two people who work full time, lol.

rgambs

My wife and I have very compatible, nearly identical taste in music.  There's nothing either of us likes that the other doesn't.  Of course, within that massive range, we have our own tendancies and preferences.
It's pretty awesome.
When I discover a song I like, I can't wait to share it with her.
When I discover a song I think she will really dig, I'm double excited.  
I'm usually right on the money too, but after more than half your life with someone, you should be able to hear with their ears and see with their eyes.

Dr. Delight

PJ_Soul said:

Dr. Delight said:

^^
Good point on the travelling issue. But it also might be a good way to give each other some space and do things on your own. Of course it is fun to experience music together, especially when its mutually loved.

I'm all for space and doing things on my own (it's actually why I'm single!), but if I were crazy enough to get into a relationship, haha, my love of music is something I would need to share with my partner, at least a fair bit of the time - it's not like I would require we attend every single show together or anything level-5 clinger, lol, but it would have to be a common addiction. If I didn't share that love there would just be a big void between us. It's too big a part of my life and too great a source of joy to not share with my S.O. I'd rather be single forever than separate that part of my life from my loved one. Plus, a couple would need to have a fair bit of money for one to be travelling for concerts, the other to perhaps travel alone for something else, and then, presumably, try to find time and money to travel together as well. I just don't see how that would work in a normal budget for two people who work full time, lol.

Word up, A.

Thoughts_Arrive

As long as she's no shorter than 6 feet.