Scott Weiland has passed

cp3iverson

Very real but also pretty harsh. I dont know. Im sure he was an awful father and thats his loss. Being a dad is the best thing in life. Thats his selfish choices at work. This piece just seems a little self serving at times. Like the wives obviously dont like eachother...

mr bungle

Blredyellow said:

A must read that is real as hell.

Scott Weiland's Family: 'Don't Glorify This Tragedy'
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/scott-weiland-s-family-dont-glorify-this-tragedy-20151207?page=2

Mary Forsberg Weiland is the mother of the late singer Scott Weiland's teenage children, Noah, 15, and Lucy, 13. She wrote this with their help in the days after his death on Dec 3rd.

December 3rd, 2015 is not the day Scott Weiland died. It is the official day the public will use to mourn him, and it was the last day he could be propped up in front of a microphone for the financial benefit or enjoyment of others. The outpouring of condolences and prayers offered to our children, Noah and Lucy, has been overwhelming, appreciated and even comforting. But the truth is, like so many other kids, they lost their father years ago. What they truly lost on December 3rd was hope.

We don't want to downplay Scott's amazing talent, presence or his ability to light up any stage with brilliant electricity. So many people have been gracious enough to praise his gift. The music is here to stay. But at some point, someone needs to step up and point out that yes, this will happen again – because as a society we almost encourage it. We read awful show reviews, watch videos of artists falling down, unable to recall their lyrics streaming on a teleprompter just a few feet away. And then we click "add to cart" because what actually belongs in a hospital is now considered art.

Many of these artists have children. Children with tears in their eyes, experiencing panic because their cries go unheard. You might ask, "How were we to know? We read that he loved spending time with his children and that he'd been drug-free for years!" In reality, what you didn't want to acknowledge was a paranoid man who couldn't remember his own lyrics and who was only photographed with his children a handful of times in 15 years of fatherhood. I've always wanted to share more than anyone was comfortable with. When writing a book years ago, it pained me to sometimes gloss over so much grief and struggle, but I did what I thought was best for Noah and Lucy. I knew they would one day see and feel everything that I'd been trying to shield them from, and that they'd eventually be brave enough to say, "That mess was our father. We loved him, but a deep-rooted mix of love and disappointment made up the majority of our relationship with him."

Even after Scott and I split up, I spent countless hours trying to calm his paranoid fits, pushing him into the shower and filling him with coffee, just so that I could drop him into the audience at Noah's talent show, or Lucy's musical. Those short encounters were my attempts at giving the kids a feeling of normalcy with their dad. But anything longer would often turn into something scary and uncomfortable for them. Spending so many years immersed in Scott's multiple illnesses led to my own depression; at one point, I was misdiagnosed as bipolar. I feared the same would happen to the children. There were times that Child Protective Services did not allow him to to be alone with them.

When Scott did move on to another relationship, I hoped it would inspire him to grow. I had often encouraged him to date a "normal" girl, a woman who was also a mother, someone who had the energy that I no longer had to love him. Instead, when he remarried, the children were replaced. They were not invited to his wedding; child support checks often never arrived. Our once sweet Catholic boy refused to watch the kids participate in Christmas Eve plays because he was now an atheist. They have never set foot into his house, and they can't remember the last time they saw him on a Father's Day. I don't share this with you to cast judgment, I do so because you most likely know at least one child in the same shoes. If you do, please acknowledge them and their experience. Offer to accompany them to the father-daughter dance, or teach them to throw a football. Even the bravest girl or boy will refrain from asking for something like that; they may be ashamed, or not want to inconvenience you. Just offer – or even insist if you have to.

This is the final step in our long goodbye to Scott. Even though I felt we had no other choice, maybe we never should have let him go. Or maybe these last few years of separation were his parting gift to us – the only way he could think to soften what he knew would one day crush us deep into our souls. Over the last few years, I could hear his sadness and confusion when he'd call me late into the night, often crying about his inability to separate himself from negative people and bad choices. I won't say he can rest now, or that he's in a better place. He belongs with his children barbecuing in the backyard and waiting for a Notre Dame game to come on. We are angry and sad about this loss, but we are most devastated that he chose to give up.

Noah and Lucy never sought perfection from their dad. They just kept hoping for a little effort. If you're a parent not giving your best effort, all anyone asks is that you try just a little harder and don't give up. Progress, not perfection, is what your children are praying for. Our hope for Scott has died, but there is still hope for others. Let's choose to make this first time we don't glorify this tragedy with talk of rock and roll and the demons that, by the way, don't have to come with it. Skip the depressing T-shirt with 1967-2015 on it – use the money to take a kid to a ballgame or out for ice cream.

Powerfull!!!!!

vaggar99

Merkin Baller said:

vaggar99 said:

this is totally fucked. we gotta take better care of our 90's heros

We do?

Edit: if this guy was one of your heroes..... I don't know what to say about that...... He was a great songwriter & performer, but beyond that I don't see all that much to emulate.

Addiction sucks, and is a horrible thing, this guy has been a walking disaster for a long time. At the risk of repeating myself, the only surprising thing to me is that this didn't happen sooner.

Bummer to see another talented artist brought down by drugs, but he's no hero in my book.

actually i was one of those who didn't care much for STP too much. I think I got Purple and Tiny Music in one of those 12 for 1cent Columbia House Deals. I liked the hits, but found most of the other songs to be okay.

Scott Weiland made it. He has a place in rock music history. True, he was never one of my 'heros', but he might have been to some people.

He needed help and never really got it. The fame and the money only enabled him more. And for that, we the public are partly responsible. we financed all the smack and coke that went into Weiland's system.

PJfanwillneverleave1

Is the Porch turning into the obituaries?

PP193448

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Is the Porch turning into the obituaries?

Wait til PJ 50... We will be lots of really old farts then...

primussucks

Blredyellow said:

A must read that is real as hell.

Scott Weiland's Family: 'Don't Glorify This Tragedy'
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/scott-weiland-s-family-dont-glorify-this-tragedy-20151207?page=2

Mary Forsberg Weiland is the mother of the late singer Scott Weiland's teenage children, Noah, 15, and Lucy, 13. She wrote this with their help in the days after his death on Dec 3rd.

December 3rd, 2015 is not the day Scott Weiland died. It is the official day the public will use to mourn him, and it was the last day he could be propped up in front of a microphone for the financial benefit or enjoyment of others. The outpouring of condolences and prayers offered to our children, Noah and Lucy, has been overwhelming, appreciated and even comforting. But the truth is, like so many other kids, they lost their father years ago. What they truly lost on December 3rd was hope.

We don't want to downplay Scott's amazing talent, presence or his ability to light up any stage with brilliant electricity. So many people have been gracious enough to praise his gift. The music is here to stay. But at some point, someone needs to step up and point out that yes, this will happen again – because as a society we almost encourage it. We read awful show reviews, watch videos of artists falling down, unable to recall their lyrics streaming on a teleprompter just a few feet away. And then we click "add to cart" because what actually belongs in a hospital is now considered art.

Many of these artists have children. Children with tears in their eyes, experiencing panic because their cries go unheard. You might ask, "How were we to know? We read that he loved spending time with his children and that he'd been drug-free for years!" In reality, what you didn't want to acknowledge was a paranoid man who couldn't remember his own lyrics and who was only photographed with his children a handful of times in 15 years of fatherhood. I've always wanted to share more than anyone was comfortable with. When writing a book years ago, it pained me to sometimes gloss over so much grief and struggle, but I did what I thought was best for Noah and Lucy. I knew they would one day see and feel everything that I'd been trying to shield them from, and that they'd eventually be brave enough to say, "That mess was our father. We loved him, but a deep-rooted mix of love and disappointment made up the majority of our relationship with him."

Even after Scott and I split up, I spent countless hours trying to calm his paranoid fits, pushing him into the shower and filling him with coffee, just so that I could drop him into the audience at Noah's talent show, or Lucy's musical. Those short encounters were my attempts at giving the kids a feeling of normalcy with their dad. But anything longer would often turn into something scary and uncomfortable for them. Spending so many years immersed in Scott's multiple illnesses led to my own depression; at one point, I was misdiagnosed as bipolar. I feared the same would happen to the children. There were times that Child Protective Services did not allow him to to be alone with them.

When Scott did move on to another relationship, I hoped it would inspire him to grow. I had often encouraged him to date a "normal" girl, a woman who was also a mother, someone who had the energy that I no longer had to love him. Instead, when he remarried, the children were replaced. They were not invited to his wedding; child support checks often never arrived. Our once sweet Catholic boy refused to watch the kids participate in Christmas Eve plays because he was now an atheist. They have never set foot into his house, and they can't remember the last time they saw him on a Father's Day. I don't share this with you to cast judgment, I do so because you most likely know at least one child in the same shoes. If you do, please acknowledge them and their experience. Offer to accompany them to the father-daughter dance, or teach them to throw a football. Even the bravest girl or boy will refrain from asking for something like that; they may be ashamed, or not want to inconvenience you. Just offer – or even insist if you have to.

This is the final step in our long goodbye to Scott. Even though I felt we had no other choice, maybe we never should have let him go. Or maybe these last few years of separation were his parting gift to us – the only way he could think to soften what he knew would one day crush us deep into our souls. Over the last few years, I could hear his sadness and confusion when he'd call me late into the night, often crying about his inability to separate himself from negative people and bad choices. I won't say he can rest now, or that he's in a better place. He belongs with his children barbecuing in the backyard and waiting for a Notre Dame game to come on. We are angry and sad about this loss, but we are most devastated that he chose to give up.

Noah and Lucy never sought perfection from their dad. They just kept hoping for a little effort. If you're a parent not giving your best effort, all anyone asks is that you try just a little harder and don't give up. Progress, not perfection, is what your children are praying for. Our hope for Scott has died, but there is still hope for others. Let's choose to make this first time we don't glorify this tragedy with talk of rock and roll and the demons that, by the way, don't have to come with it. Skip the depressing T-shirt with 1967-2015 on it – use the money to take a kid to a ballgame or out for ice cream.

I applaud her!

PJfanwillneverleave1

primussucks said:

callen said:

Don't get the discussions about addiction and worse of thinking you knew and seen it coming.

I know how I felt when I first experienced STP. The same feelings when hearing PJ for the first time. This man added to my life. Made me crank my music while hitting the accelerator burning rubber sliding sideways. I don't care about his personal life or what drugs he took. All petty BS.

Cranked STP last night, will do so again today.

So you wouldn't care if Ed was an addict? You wouldn't care about knowing there is a possibility this news could be Ed tomorrow?

Blredyellow said:

A must read that is real as hell.

Scott Weiland's Family: 'Don't Glorify This Tragedy'
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/scott-weiland-s-family-dont-glorify-this-tragedy-20151207?page=2

Mary Forsberg Weiland is the mother of the late singer Scott Weiland's teenage children, Noah, 15, and Lucy, 13. She wrote this with their help in the days after his death on Dec 3rd.

December 3rd, 2015 is not the day Scott Weiland died. It is the official day the public will use to mourn him, and it was the last day he could be propped up in front of a microphone for the financial benefit or enjoyment of others. The outpouring of condolences and prayers offered to our children, Noah and Lucy, has been overwhelming, appreciated and even comforting. But the truth is, like so many other kids, they lost their father years ago. What they truly lost on December 3rd was hope.

We don't want to downplay Scott's amazing talent, presence or his ability to light up any stage with brilliant electricity. So many people have been gracious enough to praise his gift. The music is here to stay. But at some point, someone needs to step up and point out that yes, this will happen again – because as a society we almost encourage it. We read awful show reviews, watch videos of artists falling down, unable to recall their lyrics streaming on a teleprompter just a few feet away. And then we click "add to cart" because what actually belongs in a hospital is now considered art.

Many of these artists have children. Children with tears in their eyes, experiencing panic because their cries go unheard. You might ask, "How were we to know? We read that he loved spending time with his children and that he'd been drug-free for years!" In reality, what you didn't want to acknowledge was a paranoid man who couldn't remember his own lyrics and who was only photographed with his children a handful of times in 15 years of fatherhood. I've always wanted to share more than anyone was comfortable with. When writing a book years ago, it pained me to sometimes gloss over so much grief and struggle, but I did what I thought was best for Noah and Lucy. I knew they would one day see and feel everything that I'd been trying to shield them from, and that they'd eventually be brave enough to say, "That mess was our father. We loved him, but a deep-rooted mix of love and disappointment made up the majority of our relationship with him."

Even after Scott and I split up, I spent countless hours trying to calm his paranoid fits, pushing him into the shower and filling him with coffee, just so that I could drop him into the audience at Noah's talent show, or Lucy's musical. Those short encounters were my attempts at giving the kids a feeling of normalcy with their dad. But anything longer would often turn into something scary and uncomfortable for them. Spending so many years immersed in Scott's multiple illnesses led to my own depression; at one point, I was misdiagnosed as bipolar. I feared the same would happen to the children. There were times that Child Protective Services did not allow him to to be alone with them.

When Scott did move on to another relationship, I hoped it would inspire him to grow. I had often encouraged him to date a "normal" girl, a woman who was also a mother, someone who had the energy that I no longer had to love him. Instead, when he remarried, the children were replaced. They were not invited to his wedding; child support checks often never arrived. Our once sweet Catholic boy refused to watch the kids participate in Christmas Eve plays because he was now an atheist. They have never set foot into his house, and they can't remember the last time they saw him on a Father's Day. I don't share this with you to cast judgment, I do so because you most likely know at least one child in the same shoes. If you do, please acknowledge them and their experience. Offer to accompany them to the father-daughter dance, or teach them to throw a football. Even the bravest girl or boy will refrain from asking for something like that; they may be ashamed, or not want to inconvenience you. Just offer – or even insist if you have to.

This is the final step in our long goodbye to Scott. Even though I felt we had no other choice, maybe we never should have let him go. Or maybe these last few years of separation were his parting gift to us – the only way he could think to soften what he knew would one day crush us deep into our souls. Over the last few years, I could hear his sadness and confusion when he'd call me late into the night, often crying about his inability to separate himself from negative people and bad choices. I won't say he can rest now, or that he's in a better place. He belongs with his children barbecuing in the backyard and waiting for a Notre Dame game to come on. We are angry and sad about this loss, but we are most devastated that he chose to give up.

Noah and Lucy never sought perfection from their dad. They just kept hoping for a little effort. If you're a parent not giving your best effort, all anyone asks is that you try just a little harder and don't give up. Progress, not perfection, is what your children are praying for. Our hope for Scott has died, but there is still hope for others. Let's choose to make this first time we don't glorify this tragedy with talk of rock and roll and the demons that, by the way, don't have to come with it. Skip the depressing T-shirt with 1967-2015 on it – use the money to take a kid to a ballgame or out for ice cream.

I applaud her!

.

hedonist

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Is the Porch turning into the obituaries?

Wow. No. I think the one, two?, threads here are about paying respects and offering sympathy.

Sure hope there's no condescension toward those doing the same for the loss of a fellow member.

PJfanwillneverleave1

hedonist said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Is the Porch turning into the obituaries?

Wow. No. I think the one, two?, threads here are about paying respects and offering sympathy.

Sure hope there's no condescension toward those doing the same for the loss of a fellow member.

Well perhaps we should have a category dedicated to those who are lost.

northerndragon

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

hedonist said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Is the Porch turning into the obituaries?

Wow. No. I think the one, two?, threads here are about paying respects and offering sympathy.

Sure hope there's no condescension toward those doing the same for the loss of a fellow member.

Well perhaps we should have a category dedicated to those who are lost.

Perhaps you could rein it in for the two threads dedicated to people who have passed lately. Show some respect for the love, if you know how. Don't like what you see here then go and play in the 12 or so threads about a possible tour or go back to AMT and harass the people there.

TL170678

Judgmental much Mary Forseberg? She used to do heroin with Scott, probably smoked his crack too. Celeb child support is so expensive anyway, she was getting nearly 1 million per year, yet complains if she did not get a check haha. I would do heroin too if I had to pay my ex 720,000 per year. Geeze. He had to go back on the road and play piss smelling night clubs just to pay her. Scott was not a fan of constant touring, it killed his voice.

primussucks

TL170678 said:

Judgmental much Mary Forseberg? She used to do heroin with Scott, probably smoked his crack too. Celeb child support is so expensive anyway, she was getting nearly 1 million per year, yet complains if she did not get a check haha. I would do heroin too if I had to pay my ex 720,000 per year. Geeze. He had to go back on the road and play piss smelling night clubs just to pay her. Scott was not a fan of constant touring, it killed his voice.

Wanting her children's father to be a dad isn't judgmental in any way shape or form!

FrankY59

His wife seemed sincere that she feels during his downward spirals people should be helping him and not just standing pat.

I am a doctor and I see patients with addictions from tobacco to alcohol to heroin. I don't think anything I can possibly say will cure them Nor do I have some magic pill to prescribe. The first step is that the patient has to want to come clean. But that is the hard part because what options do they have? I can ask a social worker to give them resources for quitting. But the onus is still on the patient to go back into the community, scared and alone and maybe use them. Not to mention therapy for mental illness is just extremely limited. Unfortunately, addiction never goes away. I truly believe these addicts want to get clean but sometimes the addiction is too strong to overcome with anything society can really offer.

Release EV

I will miss him indeed. I miss that no new music comes from likes of Layne and Kurt, now Scott.
Thanks for all you gave Scott.

JT_JamFan

breathing is the hardest thing
to do. with all I've said and
all that's dead for you,
you lied - good bye



A few years ago i had a chance to see Scott play just north of Dallas. I told my wife we should go because there is no way of nowing how much longer he would be around. Wish i wasn't right about that.

juddboz80

He was definitely one of the more Iconic voices of the 90s, he left us with a lot of good tunes, and holy shit was he exciting to see live! Needle and the damage done....

steved

FrankY59 said:

His wife seemed sincere that she feels during his downward spirals people should be helping him and not just standing pat.

I am a doctor and I see patients with addictions from tobacco to alcohol to heroin. I don't think anything I can possibly say will cure them Nor do I have some magic pill to prescribe. The first step is that the patient has to want to come clean. But that is the hard part because what options do they have? I can ask a social worker to give them resources for quitting. But the onus is still on the patient to go back into the community, scared and alone and maybe use them. Not to mention therapy for mental illness is just extremely limited. Unfortunately, addiction never goes away. I truly believe these addicts want to get clean but sometimes the addiction is too strong to overcome with anything society can really offer.

Doc I agree with almost everything you have said. As a recovering addict sober over 10 years I can tell you that a few comments you wrote stuck out to me. To stay sober is about action not desire. You wrote that you believe that these addicts want to get clean but sometimes the addiction is too strong to overcome with anything society can really offer. That is not my experience, and the experience I have witnessed personally in hundreds of others. Recovery is not generally effective for people who want it, or people who need it, it is for people who DO it! There is a saying "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path", if the addict does the things that are mapped out, and is truly done, my experience, recovery works just fine, people are the ones that don't want to do the work. If you don't want to stay sober more than you want to drink or get high you will relapse. You have to be done living that way. I agree that addiction never goes away, but I don't think about using or drinking at all anymore, but I still take my medicine EVERYDAY! That's how this works... By medicine I mean.. I either go to a meeting.. Read some literature... Talk to another guy in the program..work with a guy I sponsor.. Talk to my sponsor... Do some type of service... That's the deal...you give up 1 thing to get everything! My life is complete freedom... Addiction does not care if you are a Rock Star or a bum but the solution doesn't either... You can stay sober if you want to... Society has nothing to do with it... It is something deep within us... Either we want to stay sober 51/49% and do the work or we don't.

Sorry for the rant! Just something I'm passionate about!

Merkin Baller

vaggar99 said:

Merkin Baller said:

vaggar99 said:

this is totally fucked. we gotta take better care of our 90's heros

We do?

Edit: if this guy was one of your heroes..... I don't know what to say about that...... He was a great songwriter & performer, but beyond that I don't see all that much to emulate.

Addiction sucks, and is a horrible thing, this guy has been a walking disaster for a long time. At the risk of repeating myself, the only surprising thing to me is that this didn't happen sooner.

Bummer to see another talented artist brought down by drugs, but he's no hero in my book.

actually i was one of those who didn't care much for STP too much. I think I got Purple and Tiny Music in one of those 12 for 1cent Columbia House Deals. I liked the hits, but found most of the other songs to be okay.

Scott Weiland made it. He has a place in rock music history. True, he was never one of my 'heros', but he might have been to some people.

He needed help and never really got it. The fame and the money only enabled him more. And for that, we the public are partly responsible. we financed all the smack and coke that went into Weiland's system.

You're right about the public being partially responsible. People who want to do a better job 'taking care of their '90s heroes' should put their money where their mouth is instead of supporting a functioning addict or worse yet, a record company that exploits functioning addicts.

Make a contribution to MAP, or Al-anon or AA.

Better yet, go volunteer at the local youth center, or for the Big Brothers/Big Sisters and make a difference in the life of a child who needs a positive role model.

Go be a hero yourself, it's easier than you think.

HughFreakingDillon

2-feign-reluctance said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

darthvedder said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

I don't think this ever came out.
http://www.alternativenation.net/scott-weiland-live-in-los-angeles-album-postponed-indefinitely/

I think it did eventually. it's listed on many websites (out of stock), and i think it might be in the US itunes store. but I could be wrong.

Nope

did some more digging. you would be correct.

HughFreakingDillon

cp3iverson said:

Very real but also pretty harsh. I dont know. Im sure he was an awful father and thats his loss. Being a dad is the best thing in life. Thats his selfish choices at work. This piece just seems a little self serving at times. Like the wives obviously dont like eachother...

I think it's incredibly honest. she doesn't want anyone to glorify or romanticize addiction like we so often do....look at the Doors movie. that movie just screams "do drugs! drink! it's fun!". but these people are real humans, they have real family and real people who care about them. that's the point of this. and I applaud her for it.