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pickupyourwill
pickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
edited June 2018 in A Moving Train
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Post edited by pickupyourwill on
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  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    pickupyourwill said:

    I always assumed he wrote the song Lithium about his experience with it. I assumed it was a brief experience. Am I wrong there? Does anyone know if he was on meds when he commited suicide?

    I'm curious because I am on Lithium. Sometimes I think I'm on the wrong thing. I've been on it for years now. Last month or so I've had a lot of suicidal thinking. I could never do that to my son. He's too dependent on me and I don't want to mess up his life like that. But sometimes I can really understand why people do it.

    Talk to your doctor NOW!! That is a very serious side effect! It's supposed to even out that kind of thinking, but can often have the reverse effect, so talk to your doctor as soon as possible.
  • Jason P
    Jason P Posts: 19,327
    Yes, please look to your doctor, friends, and family. Look into seeing a therapist. Right now.

    People love you.

    Start doing nightly walks. Walking gives you time to clear your head and it is simple exercise that may change your outlook. Get some earbuds and do a hour walk while listinging to your favorite music or download a book and listen to it.

    Stay strong, my fellow PJ friend.
    Be Excellent To Each Other
    Party On, Dudes!
  • oftenreading
    oftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,856
    whispering hands said:

    pickupyourwill said:

    I always assumed he wrote the song Lithium about his experience with it. I assumed it was a brief experience. Am I wrong there? Does anyone know if he was on meds when he commited suicide?

    I'm curious because I am on Lithium. Sometimes I think I'm on the wrong thing. I've been on it for years now. Last month or so I've had a lot of suicidal thinking. I could never do that to my son. He's too dependent on me and I don't want to mess up his life like that. But sometimes I can really understand why people do it.

    Talk to your doctor NOW!! That is a very serious side effect! It's supposed to even out that kind of thinking, but can often have the reverse effect, so talk to your doctor as soon as possible.
    I wouldn't call it a side effect but I would definitely say it doesn't sound like the lithium is doing its job for you right now. You say you've been on it for years - it may be time for a change - in dose, or another medication, or some other aspect of your treatment. I agree with the other posters - please get yourself to your doctor ASAP to discuss this, and in the meantime JasonP has made some really good suggestions.
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • pickupyourwill
    pickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    Thank you guys. I am seeing my therapist next week and will definitely bring it up. Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate all the good vibes.
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    edited May 2015
    oftenreading said:

    whispering hands said:

    pickupyourwill said:

    I always assumed he wrote the song Lithium about his experience with it. I assumed it was a brief experience. Am I wrong there? Does anyone know if he was on meds when he commited suicide?

    I'm curious because I am on Lithium. Sometimes I think I'm on the wrong thing. I've been on it for years now. Last month or so I've had a lot of suicidal thinking. I could never do that to my son. He's too dependent on me and I don't want to mess up his life like that. But sometimes I can really understand why people do it.

    Talk to your doctor NOW!! That is a very serious side effect! It's supposed to even out that kind of thinking, but can often have the reverse effect, so talk to your doctor as soon as possible.
    I wouldn't call it a side effect but I would definitely say it doesn't sound like the lithium is doing its job for you right now. You say you've been on it for years - it may be time for a change - in dose, or another medication, or some other aspect of your treatment. I agree with the other posters - please get yourself to your doctor ASAP to discuss this, and in the meantime JasonP has made some really good suggestions.
    No.. For real, suicidal thoughts or deepening depression IS a possible side effect of Lithium for some people.
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    Here's the thing the doctors never tell you about taking Lithium: it never breaks down, it never fully
    Leaves your body, and you can DIE from it poisoning your liver. The reason they give us this, is because your body only produces so much natural Lithium, and once it has been depleted, we need a comparable substitute. It is to cute a chemical imbalance of the brain. It is the starter Chem for most clinical and BiPolar depressions. The problem
    With it, is that since it never fully leaves the body in that synthetic state, it just builds up and can e eventually cause worsening bouts of the very thing it is intended to cure.. Your depression. So definitely bring that up to your doctor. There's a million less caustic remedies for depression than Lithium. Good luck and keep us posted.
  • oftenreading
    oftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,856
    edited May 2015
    whispering hands said:

    Here's the thing the doctors never tell you about taking Lithium: it never breaks down, it never fully
    Leaves your body, and you can DIE from it poisoning your liver. The reason they give us this, is because your body only produces so much natural Lithium, and once it has been depleted, we need a comparable substitute. It is to cute a chemical imbalance of the brain. It is the starter Chem for most clinical and BiPolar depressions. The problem
    With it, is that since it never fully leaves the body in that synthetic state, it just builds up and can e eventually cause worsening bouts of the very thing it is intended to cure.. Your depression. So definitely bring that up to your doctor. There's a million less caustic remedies for depression than Lithium. Good luck and keep us posted.

    I think you may be thinking of its effect on the kidneys, WH; lithium has little to no effect on the liver.
    Post edited by oftenreading on
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • PJfanwillneverleave1
    PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    edited May 2015
    pickupyourwill said:

    I always assumed he wrote the song Lithium about his experience with it. I assumed it was a brief experience. Am I wrong there? Does anyone know if he was on meds when he commited suicide?

    I'm curious because I am on Lithium. Sometimes I think I'm on the wrong thing. I've been on it for years now. Last month or so I've had a lot of suicidal thinking. I could never do that to my son. He's too dependent on me and I don't want to mess up his life like that. But sometimes I can really understand why people do it.


    Call 911 and get help.

    Post edited by PJfanwillneverleave1 on
  • badbrains
    badbrains Posts: 10,255
    Dude, don't ask us for advise, go tell your doctor. That shits serious. Don't fuck around man.
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    pickupyourwill said:

    Thank you guys. I am seeing my therapist next week and will definitely bring it up. Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate all the good vibes.

    I don't know much about Lithium, but for your own sake, I hope you can see your therapist AND doctor sooner rather than later.

    Also, good to know having your son is helping to keep yourself / your mind in check. You owe it to the both of you to seek help, and soon.

    In the meantime, I too must echo Jason's thoughts.

    Wishing you well from here. Please, keep yourself safe.
  • Drowned Out
    Drowned Out Posts: 6,056
    Jason P said:

    Yes, please look to your doctor, friends, and family. Look into seeing a therapist. Right now.

    People love you.

    Start doing nightly walks. Walking gives you time to clear your head and it is simple exercise that may change your outlook. Get some earbuds and do a hour walk while listinging to your favorite music or download a book and listen to it.

    Stay strong, my fellow PJ friend.

    ^this is solid advice.
    Put yourself first until you can shake this; it will be the best thing you could do for your son right now. Good luck with your struggles, pickupyourwill.
  • gimmesometruth27
    gimmesometruth27 St. Fuckin Louis Posts: 24,408
    to answer the original question, he wrote of suicide a lot in his journals. montage of heck talks about it. i doubt his suicide was due directly to lithium. the man was a lost cause. look at the private footage with him and courtney and frances in their home in the movie. dude was strung out bigtime.

    OP, take care of yourself. as someone who was once down that low, meds and counseling is the best way. everyone had good suggestions here. take their advice.

    i am not sure, but can one develop tolerance to lithium like they can other drugs? if that is the case, perhaps the medicine is not working as well if you have a tolerance to it.

    good luck!
    "You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry."  - Lincoln

    "Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    oftenreading said:

    whispering hands said:

    Here's the thing the doctors never tell you about taking Lithium: it never breaks down, it never fully
    Leaves your body, and you can DIE from it poisoning your liver. The reason they give us this, is because your body only produces so much natural Lithium, and once it has been depleted, we need a comparable substitute. It is to cute a chemical imbalance of the brain. It is the starter Chem for most clinical and BiPolar depressions. The problem
    With it, is that since it never fully leaves the body in that synthetic state, it just builds up and can e eventually cause worsening bouts of the very thing it is intended to cure.. Your depression. So definitely bring that up to your doctor. There's a million less caustic remedies for depression than Lithium. Good luck and keep us posted.

    I think you may be thinking of its effect on the kidneys, WH; lithium has little to no effect on the liver.
    I believe you're right.It's Renal failure that is the worry.. So yeah that would be the kidneys. Thanks for the correction.
  • The Waiting Trophy Man
    The Waiting Trophy Man Niagara region, Ontario, Canada Posts: 12,158
    Hang in there. Things always get better. And yes, talk to your doctor and therapist. Maybe get referral to a psychologist, unless your therapist can prescribe meds. You need something else or different dosage, as someone said.
    Another habit says it's in love with you
    Another habit says its long overdue
    Another habit like an unwanted friend
    I'm so happy with my righteous self
  • oftenreading
    oftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,856
    whispering hands said:

    oftenreading said:

    whispering hands said:

    Here's the thing the doctors never tell you about taking Lithium: it never breaks down, it never fully
    Leaves your body, and you can DIE from it poisoning your liver. The reason they give us this, is because your body only produces so much natural Lithium, and once it has been depleted, we need a comparable substitute. It is to cute a chemical imbalance of the brain. It is the starter Chem for most clinical and BiPolar depressions. The problem
    With it, is that since it never fully leaves the body in that synthetic state, it just builds up and can e eventually cause worsening bouts of the very thing it is intended to cure.. Your depression. So definitely bring that up to your doctor. There's a million less caustic remedies for depression than Lithium. Good luck and keep us posted.

    I think you may be thinking of its effect on the kidneys, WH; lithium has little to no effect on the liver.
    I believe you're right.It's Renal failure that is the worry.. So yeah that would be the kidneys. Thanks for the correction.
    No worries. I don't want to come across as argumentative, but I believe good mental health care is crucial and I want people to have accurate information to base their decisions on.

    The evidence for lithium's efficacy is very strong; it's one of the most effective medications in psychiatry, and it is one of very few medications that has been demonstrated to reduce the risk of suicide. However, it certainly isn't for everyone; the side effects can be difficult or impossible to tolerate for some people, and the toxic dose isn't too much higher than the therapeutic dose so you do have to be careful with dosing.

    pickupyourwill, I hope that someone has been monitoring you regularly with respect to your medication, with regular blood levels as well as checks of your kidney function, thyroid function, and some other things. If not, please make sure you have a serious conversation with your doctor. You deserve good care.
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    oftenreading said:

    whispering hands said:

    oftenreading said:

    whispering hands said:

    Here's the thing the doctors never tell you about taking Lithium: it never breaks down, it never fully
    Leaves your body, and you can DIE from it poisoning your liver. The reason they give us this, is because your body only produces so much natural Lithium, and once it has been depleted, we need a comparable substitute. It is to cute a chemical imbalance of the brain. It is the starter Chem for most clinical and BiPolar depressions. The problem
    With it, is that since it never fully leaves the body in that synthetic state, it just builds up and can e eventually cause worsening bouts of the very thing it is intended to cure.. Your depression. So definitely bring that up to your doctor. There's a million less caustic remedies for depression than Lithium. Good luck and keep us posted.

    I think you may be thinking of its effect on the kidneys, WH; lithium has little to no effect on the liver.
    I believe you're right.It's Renal failure that is the worry.. So yeah that would be the kidneys. Thanks for the correction.
    No worries. I don't want to come across as argumentative, but I believe good mental health care is crucial and I want people to have accurate information to base their decisions on.

    The evidence for lithium's efficacy is very strong; it's one of the most effective medications in psychiatry, and it is one of very few medications that has been demonstrated to reduce the risk of suicide. However, it certainly isn't for everyone; the side effects can be difficult or impossible to tolerate for some people, and the toxic dose isn't too much higher than the therapeutic dose so you do have to be careful with dosing.

    pickupyourwill, I hope that someone has been monitoring you regularly with respect to your medication, with regular blood levels as well as checks of your kidney function, thyroid function, and some other things. If not, please make sure you have a serious conversation with your doctor. You deserve good care.
    Totally agree with you on this! It is very important. And I again appreciate that correction, because sometimes my brain is working in too many directions at once, ( that's where the ADHD messes me up!) and I confuse facts. So thank you for catching that, because accurate info on health matters wether of the body or the psyche is VERY crucial, to getting the help one needs. I've been BP for so long, that I can't even remember all the meds I've been on.
  • rr165892
    rr165892 Posts: 5,697
    Pickup,
    definitely talk to your doc.Wishing you good thoughts from here.Stay strong.HJave you ever tried yoga?really good for mind,body and of course soul?
    Some of the folks above really know what they are talking about and have been there.Good advice.
  • pickupyourwill
    pickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    You all are so awesome. I can't thank you enough. :)
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,760
    edited May 2015
    Apparently that so-called side effect of suicidal thoughts from anti-depressants isn't a specific chemical reaction or anything like that. It comes from the medication actually working, in that without it the patient is actually too depressed for suicidal thoughts - not enough energy for that - and the medication can bring on suicidal thoughts just because it provides the extra energy that suicidal thoughts and actual suicide apparently tend to require. At least that's what I heard from doctors.

    Take care OP. Definitely talk about this to your doctor (not just your therapist). Glad to know that you aren't actually willing to do the deed.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • pickupyourwill
    pickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    PJ_Soul said:

    Apparently that so-called side effect of suicidal thoughts from anti-depressants isn't a specific chemical reaction or anything like that. It comes from the medication actually working, in that without it the patient is actually too depressed for suicidal thoughts - not enough energy for that - and the medication can bring on suicidal thoughts just because it provides the extra energy that suicidal thoughts and actual suicide apparently tend to require. At least that's what I heard from doctors.

    Take care OP. Definitely talk about this to your doctor (not just your therapist). Glad to know that you aren't actually willing to do the deed.

    Thank you for the info. I'll bring it up to my doctor this week.

    btw what does OP stand for?

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