Prostitution..should it be legalized ?

justam

I never once used the word "Properly" or even suggested that there was any rule about sex.

chadwick

i am the one using the word 'properly' as you & others are setting up rules & regulations on how adults go about having sex

rr165892

justam said:

rr165892 said:

Would you consider doing the dishes ,Vacuuming the rugs, Bathing the dogs,and folding a couple loads of laundry so the wife Dosent has to when she gets home ,foreplay?lol

Well, at my house, my husband always gets rewarded for doing nice things for me!
So, I imagine your wife would also be kindly disposed towards you for that kind of help.

Key to a happy Marraige.

Aafke

To get back on topic... legalize prostitution. In My country we have legalized prostitution, and to be honest, it still is quite a shady business, with lots of criminal act in it. Lots of human trafficking, and pimps making lots of money, over the becks of the hookers. Just a very selective minority of the sex workers, chose the profession willingly. I do know one, who did, but she only worked the SM scene as a master, and liked men willing to pay for the pain she provided, she liked getting money for being bossy, not the average sex worker, by all means.
I think legalizing prostitution may be a good idea to get more government control in the business, and certainly better health care for the sex workers, but doesn't do much for the shady image off the business. Or the image of the people who become sex workers.

I also knew a man who was thinking of visiting a prostitute, he explained to me that he was considering it, not because he couldn't get laid for free, but the idea exited him sexual that he could pay a woman to have sex, and doesn't have to care for her sexual needs. So his motives where partial power and partial selfishness. The man I'm talking about was a highly educated young man, who usually cared a lot for the people around him. But liked to get discussions, just for the fun of it, so it could be that he dropped this statement in my presence to get a reaction of me, because in that time, we had lots of discussions about feminism, cause i went through a ultra feminist period in my life... And he just tried to get in an argument with me...

I know these are just two maybe redoubtable examples of the sex industry in my country, and I don't have many more examples out of second hand, but the point I'm trying to make is that although I'm in favor of legalization. I don't think legalization is the answer to all the problems concerning the sex workers industry. On the other hand, it didn't turn all Dutch girls into hookers, who do not have any self esteem regarding to their bodies. And the only people in prison regarding to the sex industry are the pimps, who force people into the business, and human traffickers.

rr165892

I should have been more clear with my Dinner post.Of course it's not the same,or prostitution or anything of the sort.I was half being a smart ass.Any gentleman on here has surely spent money wine and dinning a lady friend,wife,GF,Date,friend with the hopes of ending the evening with a little "dessert".Human nature right?Since that is the goal pretty much every waking minute of everyday .

Godfather.

I gotta tell ya guy's there nothing better than being in love with the woman you're having sex with..shit did I just type out-loud....maybe I'm just getting old. LOL!

callen

justam said:

rr165892 said:

Would you consider doing the dishes ,Vacuuming the rugs, Bathing the dogs,and folding a couple loads of laundry so the wife Dosent has to when she gets home ,foreplay?lol

Well, at my house, my husband always gets rewarded for doing nice things for me!
So, I imagine your wife would also be kindly disposed towards you for that kind of help.

So you use sex to get something. Hmmm kinda sounds like your placing a value on sex like a ..........

I'm not trying to pile it on or be mean just ironic that you charge your man but are against other women charging as well.

Course everyone does it.

callen

justam said:

chadwick said:

quick question on that dinner date - the night's date expense must be split to enjoy sex properly?

Properly? What do you mean by that?

I suggested the splitting of the check to avoid someone saying that "If the man always pays the bill, then he's paying for sex." You know someone would be a smart-ass and say that!!

Also, for most modern women, paying half the bill is not a big deal. Unless the couple are only just starting to go out, it's pretty common wouldn't you say?

I pay every time but just old fashioned and expect nothing.

rr165892

Godfather. said:

I gotta tell ya guy's there nothing better than being in love with the woman you're having sex with..shit did I just type out-loud....maybe I'm just getting old. LOL!

I agree,GF that's why I can joke about it

rr165892

callen said:

justam said:

rr165892 said:

Would you consider doing the dishes ,Vacuuming the rugs, Bathing the dogs,and folding a couple loads of laundry so the wife Dosent has to when she gets home ,foreplay?lol

Well, at my house, my husband always gets rewarded for doing nice things for me!
So, I imagine your wife would also be kindly disposed towards you for that kind of help.

So you use sex to get something. Hmmm kinda sounds like your placing a value on sex like a ..........

I'm not trying to pile it on or be mean just ironic that you charge your man but are against other women charging as well.

Course everyone does it.

No,Callen,That was under the "foreplay" question.So,we are not talking about payment,more about setting a mood.The Professor is just agreeing with me that a little help around the house and making my ladies life less hectic can make life easier and more happy and exciting for all involved in the universal spirit of cooperation.

Drowned Out

There's been a lot of talk in Canada about prostitution thanks to the government striking down the laws, and a new bill being tabled. ...I think this does absolutely parallel the drug war discussion in that it is criminalizing private morality - if the transaction is a mutual agreement, the only risk is to the people making the agreement - there is no risk of harm to anyone else. It's like saying the war on drugs is also a war on crime....it's just not. It's a war on 'normal' people.

The problems people (often mistakenly) associate with prostitution - namely human trafficking, assault and addiction, are dealt with by other aspects of our legal and social systems.

I disagree with the people painting all sex workers as victims and/or addicts. I was friends with an escort about 15 years ago...she smoked some weed, but was not addicted to anything. Her sister introduced her to the business, and she did it for money....trust me, this girl was not ruined by prostitution....some would say she had questionable morals and/or esteem/mental problems....what it came down to - she was having a lot of sex with different people anyway, and decided to get paid. Her choice; who am I to judge? If I felt she needed help (which I didn't), it would have been from social programs, not the fucking police!

I also dated a woman who admitted a couple months into our relationship that he had worked as an escort a few years before we met. She called an agency and applied for work, again for money. She managed to get set up with a college degree, starting a legit business with it, and bought beautiful loft - all debt free. She also claimed that she had enough regular clients to stop advertising after a while...if that's true, she wasn't even really sleeping with strangers any longer. When I was with her, aside from cigs, she lived the cleanest lifestyle of any girl I've ever dated...she was def the fittest...maybe a little nuts, but I've known plenty of nuts non-prostitutes.

So I would say that making assumptions like '90% of them are addicts' or 'most of them didn't choose to get into it' is inaccurate, and irresponsible, as it contributes to the stigma that these women live under. This stigma prevents honest discussion, again, in the same way that the stigma against drugs has retarded drug war reform....People who partake don't admit it. I did a little googling and found old studies suggesting that 69%-80%, and more recent ones that showed 15%-20% of US males had paid for sex at least once. I would be willing to bet the former is closer to the truth, because as evidenced in this thread - people don't admit to committing crimes very freely....So again - the people who are in the 'all men who sleep with hookers are scum' camp, are probably talking about a close family member or beloved friend...you just can't personalize this because they haven't told you, for fear of your judgement.

Forcing this 'problem' underground, criminalizing aspects of it, isolating the workers, and stigmatizing them as victims is what gives men all of the power in this transaction. It places women in danger by casting them as second class people unworthy of the respect we all deserve, by preventing vetting and hiring bodyguards/drivers, and by by making them scared to go to police....if the women are the type who can separate emotion from sex, and you're not - you see this as something that robs a woman of her soul or whatever...that's not on them, it's on you. If they're in the business because they're addicts, or mentally unwell, or abused....their problem is abuse or addiction or mental illness, not prostitution!
Same as drugs....it's not going away.
Harm reduction - legalize, regulate, educate.

hedonist

Well-said, sir! Thank you for yet another valuable perspective on this.

Leezestarr313

What hedonist said. This is what I was talking about, you just said it way more eloquent.

Drowned Out

hedonist said:

Well-said, sir! Thank you for yet another valuable perspective on this.

Always so nice to me. Thanks hedo You too Leeze.
just proof read my post...lots of f ups, too lazy to fix them right now, I'm wiped...
Also a lot of the hypocrisy typical to these discussions, ie: the fact that I'm not still with said possibly-slightly-mentally-ill-woman in part because of the sex work stigma I'm bitching about. ...Not to mention the hypocrisy of calling someone 'nuts' right before bitching about contributing to a stigma. (hmmm...ok maybe it wasn't mental illness, just evangelical veganism )

callen

rr165892 said:

callen said:

justam said:

rr165892 said:

Would you consider doing the dishes ,Vacuuming the rugs, Bathing the dogs,and folding a couple loads of laundry so the wife Dosent has to when she gets home ,foreplay?lol

Well, at my house, my husband always gets rewarded for doing nice things for me!
So, I imagine your wife would also be kindly disposed towards you for that kind of help.

So you use sex to get something. Hmmm kinda sounds like your placing a value on sex like a ..........

I'm not trying to pile it on or be mean just ironic that you charge your man but are against other women charging as well.

Course everyone does it.

No,Callen,That was under the "foreplay" question.So,we are not talking about payment,more about setting a mood.The Professor is just agreeing with me that a little help around the house and making my ladies life less hectic can make life easier and more happy and exciting for all involved in the universal spirit of cooperation.

You missed my point. "I always reward my husband for doing nice things". Wasn't foreplay.

rr165892

callen said:

rr165892 said:

callen said:

justam said:

rr165892 said:

Would you consider doing the dishes ,Vacuuming the rugs, Bathing the dogs,and folding a couple loads of laundry so the wife Dosent has to when she gets home ,foreplay?lol

Well, at my house, my husband always gets rewarded for doing nice things for me!
So, I imagine your wife would also be kindly disposed towards you for that kind of help.

So you use sex to get something. Hmmm kinda sounds like your placing a value on sex like a ..........

I'm not trying to pile it on or be mean just ironic that you charge your man but are against other women charging as well.

Course everyone does it.

No,Callen,That was under the "foreplay" question.So,we are not talking about payment,more about setting a mood.The Professor is just agreeing with me that a little help around the house and making my ladies life less hectic can make life easier and more happy and exciting for all involved in the universal spirit of cooperation.

You missed my point. "I always reward my husband for doing nice things". Wasn't foreplay.

callen said:

rr165892 said:

callen said:

justam said:

rr165892 said:

Would you consider doing the dishes ,Vacuuming the rugs, Bathing the dogs,and folding a couple loads of laundry so the wife Dosent has to when she gets home ,foreplay?lol

Well, at my house, my husband always gets rewarded for doing nice things for me!
So, I imagine your wife would also be kindly disposed towards you for that kind of help.

So you use sex to get something. Hmmm kinda sounds like your placing a value on sex like a ..........

I'm not trying to pile it on or be mean just ironic that you charge your man but are against other women charging as well.

Course everyone does it.

No,Callen,That was under the "foreplay" question.So,we are not talking about payment,more about setting a mood.The Professor is just agreeing with me that a little help around the house and making my ladies life less hectic can make life easier and more happy and exciting for all involved in the universal spirit of cooperation.

You missed my point. "I always reward my husband for doing nice things". Wasn't foreplay.

Its not payment either.Its just Two consenting adults knowing what pleases and makes life easier for each other.
I've been with my wife since High School(28 years) and not a day/night goes by I still don't try for intimate time.(Its fun) If after working all day and doing busy stuff like the Gym and taking care of dogs etc,I can make her life easier by doing and helping in the daily duties,chores just to make the end of her day a little less hectic and stressful.then My chances of a well rested partner who isn't to tired to fool around increases.So we both benefit.This of course Dosent always work but it sure does help.Win/Win.I still help no matter what and without expectations so its not a payoff.

I will say it becomes much easier once you get kids out of house and you become empty nesters.Dont let anyone tell you its not glorious,because it is.lol

callen

rr165892 said:

callen said:

rr165892 said:

callen said:

justam said:

rr165892 said:

Would you consider doing the dishes ,Vacuuming the rugs, Bathing the dogs,and folding a couple loads of laundry so the wife Dosent has to when she gets home ,foreplay?lol

Well, at my house, my husband always gets rewarded for doing nice things for me!
So, I imagine your wife would also be kindly disposed towards you for that kind of help.

So you use sex to get something. Hmmm kinda sounds like your placing a value on sex like a ..........

I'm not trying to pile it on or be mean just ironic that you charge your man but are against other women charging as well.

Course everyone does it.

No,Callen,That was under the "foreplay" question.So,we are not talking about payment,more about setting a mood.The Professor is just agreeing with me that a little help around the house and making my ladies life less hectic can make life easier and more happy and exciting for all involved in the universal spirit of cooperation.

You missed my point. "I always reward my husband for doing nice things". Wasn't foreplay.

callen said:

rr165892 said:

callen said:

justam said:

rr165892 said:

Would you consider doing the dishes ,Vacuuming the rugs, Bathing the dogs,and folding a couple loads of laundry so the wife Dosent has to when she gets home ,foreplay?lol

Well, at my house, my husband always gets rewarded for doing nice things for me!
So, I imagine your wife would also be kindly disposed towards you for that kind of help.

So you use sex to get something. Hmmm kinda sounds like your placing a value on sex like a ..........

I'm not trying to pile it on or be mean just ironic that you charge your man but are against other women charging as well.

Course everyone does it.

No,Callen,That was under the "foreplay" question.So,we are not talking about payment,more about setting a mood.The Professor is just agreeing with me that a little help around the house and making my ladies life less hectic can make life easier and more happy and exciting for all involved in the universal spirit of cooperation.

You missed my point. "I always reward my husband for doing nice things". Wasn't foreplay.

Its not payment either.Its just Two consenting adults knowing what pleases and makes life easier for each other.
I've been with my wife since High School(28 years) and not a day/night goes by I still don't try for intimate time.(Its fun) If after working all day and doing busy stuff like the Gym and taking care of dogs etc,I can make her life easier by doing and helping in the daily duties,chores just to make the end of her day a little less hectic and stressful.then My chances of a well rested partner who isn't to tired to fool around increases.So we both benefit.This of course Dosent always work but it sure does help.Win/Win.I still help no matter what and without expectations so its not a payoff.

I will say it becomes much easier once you get kids out of house and you become empty nesters.Dont let anyone tell you its not glorious,because it is.lol

Yeah I get it and if you read my post above even said we all do it. Was just pointing out the hypocrisy of saying that it's bad for men to pay for sex then in same post saying she rewards her husband with sex if he does things for her. All good RR.

rgambs

rr165892 said:

callen said:

justam said:

rr165892 said:

Would you consider doing the dishes ,Vacuuming the rugs, Bathing the dogs,and folding a couple loads of laundry so the wife Dosent has to when she gets home ,foreplay?lol

Well, at my house, my husband always gets rewarded for doing nice things for me!
So, I imagine your wife would also be kindly disposed towards you for that kind of help.

So you use sex to get something. Hmmm kinda sounds like your placing a value on sex like a ..........

I'm not trying to pile it on or be mean just ironic that you charge your man but are against other women charging as well.

Course everyone does it.

No,Callen,That was under the "foreplay" question.So,we are not talking about payment,more about setting a mood.The Professor is just agreeing with me that a little help around the house and making my ladies life less hectic can make life easier and more happy and exciting for all involved in the universal spirit of cooperation.

i would say though that the fact remains: many, if not most, women have prerequisites to sex that are unconnected to their actual desire to do the act or not. Just the way it is, and in a very abstract, idealogical way, it is a form of prostitution.

justam

There's no hypocrisy here!

It's actually an example of what might make a person want to have sex with another person. Being helped is a huge gift to a woman and it usually evokes a good response. Love given in both directions is NOT AT ALL related to prostitution!!!

callen

justam said:

There's no hypocrisy here!

It's actually an example of what might make a person want to have sex with another person. Being helped is a huge gift to a woman and it usually evokes a good response. Love given in both directions is NOT AT ALL related to prostitution!!!

How ever you want to rationalize it.