I thought for many years I'd find Mr. Right and settle down and "do" the kid thing eventually. But as time passed I realized I was not all that interested in having kids of my own. Selfish, maybe a little sometimes. But the world has so many children that are neglected and I don't want to add to that.
I like who I am and hope to contribute to the world in so many other ways.
You know me, I don't want kids either. Actually talked to a male friend about this not too long ago. He said, "As a woman I find it hard to believe you wouldn't want to have kids, it's such a powerful thing" well, just because I have the 'ability' to bear children doesn't mean I want them.
You have a Honda, I have a Honda...the Honda's speedometer goes to 150 MPH...does that mean we should drive the Honda at 150 MPH 'just because' it says it can?
I think it's selfish when one has a child and either doesn't want them (the child is a 'mistake' or the woman felt social pressures from friends/family), or depends on the government to assist in raising the child(ren) (constantly being on welfare and popping out more kids i.e. 'working the system'-I have no issue if they use welfare as assistance to get back on their feet).
People have asked me "who will take care of you when you get old?" to me, that's pretty selfish...having a child purely to depend on them to 'take care of you' when you get old and senile? :nono: (I really hate that 'look' that some people with kids give you when you say, 'I don't have children'-they try to be all elitist)
I'm not a kid person at all, but there are some children that I like...they are usually respectful, well-behaved, and self-sufficient (i.e. they can entertain themselves when I visit my friends and don't need to be the center of attention 24/7).
Just be proud of your choice and have fun with it...
"I'm like 7-up and caffiene with kids...never had 'em, never will"
"If I wanted the effect of kids, I would spill grape juice all over my new white shag rug and get the same effect"
"I like my dogs just fine...they will never ask to borrow my car"
"If I ever get the slightest urge for kids, I just watch the first 15 minutes of Super Nanny and then remember why I don't want them"
(I must admit I was a bit smug when I read the part in the article that said "today not having kids means 'having it all'")
I couldn't agree more with everything you said here!! Thanks for that link, I'm definitely gonna check it out. And yes, not having kids doesn't mean we 'have it all'. People have also gone so far as to question my finances - I don't have kids, I must be rich, right? :fp: :fp: :fp:
WI '98, WI '99 (EV), WI '00, Chgo '00, MO '00, Champaign '03, Chgo '03, WI '03, IN '03, MI '04, Chgo '06:N1 & 2, WI '06, Chgo '07, Chgo '08 (EV:N1), Chgo '09:N1 & 2, Chgo '11 (EV:N1), WI '11:N1 & 2, Philly '12, Wrigley '13, Pitt '13, Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2
I thought for many years I'd find Mr. Right and settle down and "do" the kid thing eventually. But as time passed I realized I was not all that interested in having kids of my own. Selfish, maybe a little sometimes. But the world has so many children that are neglected and I don't want to add to that.
I like who I am and hope to contribute to the world in so many other ways.
And you, my friend, are a ray of sunshine!
Thanks girlie!! I think your a special kinda lady who chose to have and love kiddos!!
Lollapalooza 92, Alpine Valley 11, De Luna 12, Wrigley/Pittsburgh/Dallas/OKC 13, Tulsa/Denver 14, Global 15, Wrigley 1/2 16
I thought for many years I'd find Mr. Right and settle down and "do" the kid thing eventually. But as time passed I realized I was not all that interested in having kids of my own. Selfish, maybe a little sometimes. But the world has so many children that are neglected and I don't want to add to that.
I like who I am and hope to contribute to the world in so many other ways.
And you, my friend, are a ray of sunshine!
Thanks girlie!! I think your a special kinda lady who chose to have and love kiddos!!
People that say kids suck must be talking about other peoples children sucking. It's completely different when you have your own.
“ "Thank you Palestrina. It’s a wonderful evening, it’s great to be here and I wanna dedicate you a super sexy song." " (last words of Mark Sandman of Morphine)
Adelaide 1998
Adelaide 2003
Adelaide 2006 night 1
Adelaide 2006 night 2
Adelaide 2009
Melbourne 2009
Christchurch NZ 2009
Eddie Vedder, Adelaide 2011
PJ20 USA 2011 night 1
PJ20 USA 2011 night 2
Adelaide BIG DAY OUT 2014
By no means am I suggesting that everyone should have them though.
“ "Thank you Palestrina. It’s a wonderful evening, it’s great to be here and I wanna dedicate you a super sexy song." " (last words of Mark Sandman of Morphine)
Adelaide 1998
Adelaide 2003
Adelaide 2006 night 1
Adelaide 2006 night 2
Adelaide 2009
Melbourne 2009
Christchurch NZ 2009
Eddie Vedder, Adelaide 2011
PJ20 USA 2011 night 1
PJ20 USA 2011 night 2
Adelaide BIG DAY OUT 2014
BinFrog, as I mentioned earlier, it IS a selfish choice (for/to me, anyway) but also a necessary one.
I've often been curious as to the other end of the spectrum - what was the impetus for having a child or children? I don't begrudge that urge/desire but just don't understand it.
Oh, that's easy. You just decide, "The world needs my genes to perpetuate."
The thread seems to be more directed at women but as a man, having a child at 39-year gives some kind of new-found energy at your mid-life. It is some sort of a solution to mid-life crisis.
It kind of makes you a prisoner to house so your currently leisure expenditures decrease somehow. But I am sure, in a matter of months, my wife will be probably planning a good comeback for costly leisure activities. :fp: :evil:
And I constantly experienced all kinds of harrassment and pressures and questioning from family / friends about when I will get married and then when I will get kids. :roll: :roll:
What's your part, who you are?
2012: Arras, Berlin 1-2
2013: Sao Paulo, Buenos Aires
2014: Milano, Trieste, Vienna, Berlin
2016: NY MSG 1
People that say kids suck must be talking about other peoples children sucking. It's completely different when you have your own.
no.. at times my kids suck... or should I say there are situations involving them that suck? but by no means does that mean I don't love them with a passion.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Not selfish at all! As women, it sometimes seems like it doesn't matter what we choose to do or not do - we'll be 'wrong' in someone's opinion. Step off our 'pink bits' society!
Not selfish at all! As women, it sometimes seems like it doesn't matter what we choose to do or not do - we'll be 'wrong' in someone's opinion. Step off our 'pink bits' society!
Pink bits aside (I can't say that term without cringing!), that goes for pretty much anything, man or woman.
(which is why unless I genuinely respect someone, their opinion will have little, if any, effect on my life; living true to myself is all that matters)
People with children should pay more taxes, not get brakes, your child contributes nothing, just takes takes takes, you love em so much, pay for em! lets put a price tag on your love. :twisted:
People with children should pay more taxes, not get brakes, your child contributes nothing, just takes takes takes, you love em so much, pay for em! lets put a price tag on your love. :twisted:
They'll be paying for your social security. Pipe down.
Bright eyed kid: "Wow Typo Man, you're the best!"
Typo Man: "Thanks kidz, but remembir, stay in skool!"
I couldn't agree more with everything you said here!! Thanks for that link, I'm definitely gonna check it out. And yes, not having kids doesn't mean we 'have it all'. People have also gone so far as to question my finances - I don't have kids, I must be rich, right? :fp: :fp: :fp:
People with children should pay more taxes, not get brakes, your child contributes nothing, just takes takes takes, you love em so much, pay for em! lets put a price tag on your love. :twisted:
They'll be paying for your social security. Pipe down.
That's where the extra taxes could go! You won't see couples with 6 or 7 kids walking around anymore unless it's Brad and Angelina. The number of kids you have would become your new status symbol. 5 Grand a pop, every year until their 18. You love your child? Show Me the Money!
I couldn't agree more with everything you said here!! Thanks for that link, I'm definitely gonna check it out. And yes, not having kids doesn't mean we 'have it all'. People have also gone so far as to question my finances - I don't have kids, I must be rich, right? :fp: :fp: :fp:
there's no such thing as a rich Pearl Jam fan.
Oh yes there is! Wealth isn't measured by wallet-size
I couldn't agree more with everything you said here!! Thanks for that link, I'm definitely gonna check it out. And yes, not having kids doesn't mean we 'have it all'. People have also gone so far as to question my finances - I don't have kids, I must be rich, right? :fp: :fp: :fp:
People with children should pay more taxes, not get brakes, your child contributes nothing, just takes takes takes, you love em so much, pay for em! lets put a price tag on your love. :twisted:
They'll be paying for your social security. Pipe down.
what social security? It's already been stated that today's Gen X'ers won't have anything to collect...too many baby boomers living too long.
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
I never thought I had the opportunities available for a child, and then with new medical issues my ability to give birth is a non issue now. No can do.
However, if I find Mr. Right, and he has kids, I wouldn't back down from it. I have lots of love for just a Mr. Right, or Mr. Right and then some mini-Mr. Rights.
It's not a selfish decision. To have or not have children is a lifestyle choice.
It is quite a change. I would have to reevaluate when I could go back to school. I would be part of a family, and not just worried about my schedule and time.
There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
I couldn't agree more with everything you said here!! Thanks for that link, I'm definitely gonna check it out. And yes, not having kids doesn't mean we 'have it all'. People have also gone so far as to question my finances - I don't have kids, I must be rich, right? :fp: :fp: :fp:
there's no such thing as a rich Pearl Jam fan.
Amen.
I've been meaning to post in this thread for a while. I'm a child-free woman, so obviously am in the camp that doesn't believe it's selfish, and honestly mamasan, if one my friends actually said that's what they think, I'd tear a strip out of them for saying it. As many have said, the only thing that's selfish is having kids and not being able to properly care for them or support them in one way or another, which is something that a LOT of people are guilty of, including several people I know.
I DEFINITELY sense the stigma surrounding childless women though, and that's not cool at all. But it bothers me less and less at time goes on ..... I think that by being able to do whatever I want whenever I want however I want, without the chaos of screaming and crying children, while all my friends have to rush home and do the parenting thing and can't even sit down to a meal in peace for 10 years straight, really softens the blow of that stigma for me though.
The entire time I was growing up until probably my mid to late 20s, I didn't ever want kids. But then I reached a time in my life when I decided I did after all (I am not sure how much that had to do with my feeling it was what I'm supposed to do in life... maybe a lot, maybe a little). So then I met someone who I wanted to have kids with... great. I was excited about it all. But then the relationship fell apart before any kids were made (phew!!), and now I'm mostly back to not really wanting kids again, but do acknowledge that if I met the right person who I wanted to share that experience with and who I think would be a good co-parent (and I wasn't over the hill, and I will be soon if I'm not already), I'd most likely want to have a child with him, and I'd be a great mom. I can see how that would be fulfilling. But without that special person/father of my child, I don't want kids just for the sake of kids, and I'm comfortable with feeling that way. Plus, more and more, I feel like not having kids is more responsible anyway, just because the world is kind of going to shit at a rapid pace IMO, and I'm not sure I would want to subject my children and their children to what might be in store for them. :? Grim, I know.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
People with children should pay more taxes, not get brakes, your child contributes nothing, just takes takes takes, you love em so much, pay for em! lets put a price tag on your love. :twisted:
Ya know I have to say it kills me when I see how much of my taxes go to a school district that I'll never use :fp:
WI '98, WI '99 (EV), WI '00, Chgo '00, MO '00, Champaign '03, Chgo '03, WI '03, IN '03, MI '04, Chgo '06:N1 & 2, WI '06, Chgo '07, Chgo '08 (EV:N1), Chgo '09:N1 & 2, Chgo '11 (EV:N1), WI '11:N1 & 2, Philly '12, Wrigley '13, Pitt '13, Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2
People with children should pay more taxes, not get brakes, your child contributes nothing, just takes takes takes, you love em so much, pay for em! lets put a price tag on your love. :twisted:
They'll be paying for your social security. Pipe down.
what social security? It's already been stated that today's Gen X'ers won't have anything to collect...too many baby boomers living too long.
Exactly.
WI '98, WI '99 (EV), WI '00, Chgo '00, MO '00, Champaign '03, Chgo '03, WI '03, IN '03, MI '04, Chgo '06:N1 & 2, WI '06, Chgo '07, Chgo '08 (EV:N1), Chgo '09:N1 & 2, Chgo '11 (EV:N1), WI '11:N1 & 2, Philly '12, Wrigley '13, Pitt '13, Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2
At various times while I was growing up, my frustrated mother would say to me, "I hope someday you have kids just like you." That pretty much sealed the deal: no kids for me.
No, it is not selfish to not have children. People need to stop being so judgmental of one another! All that should matter is if you are a good person and a productive member of society. PERIOD. Kids, no kids, married, single, hetero, homo, faith-based or not.
People with children should pay more taxes, not get brakes, your child contributes nothing, just takes takes takes, you love em so much, pay for em! lets put a price tag on your love. :twisted:
my children are priceless. there aint enough money in the world by which to value them.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
People with children should pay more taxes, not get brakes, your child contributes nothing, just takes takes takes, you love em so much, pay for em! lets put a price tag on your love. :twisted:
my children are priceless. there aint enough money in the world by which to value them.
Comments
And you, my friend, are a ray of sunshine!
2013 Wrigley
2013 Dallas
2013 Oklahoma City
2013 Seattle
How I choose to feel is how I am.
There's just one word I still believe...and it's LOVE.
"Take care of one another..." -EV
That is absolutely hilarious. And full of truth.
2013 Wrigley
2013 Dallas
2013 Oklahoma City
2013 Seattle
How I choose to feel is how I am.
There's just one word I still believe...and it's LOVE.
"Take care of one another..." -EV
I couldn't agree more with everything you said here!! Thanks for that link, I'm definitely gonna check it out. And yes, not having kids doesn't mean we 'have it all'. People have also gone so far as to question my finances - I don't have kids, I must be rich, right? :fp: :fp: :fp:
i'd tell those people to mind their own fucking business
Right?!!! It amazes me how many people think it's okay to bring this shit up
Thanks girlie!! I think your a special kinda lady who chose to have and love kiddos!!
I can't imagine my life without them!
2013 Wrigley
2013 Dallas
2013 Oklahoma City
2013 Seattle
How I choose to feel is how I am.
There's just one word I still believe...and it's LOVE.
"Take care of one another..." -EV
Adelaide 1998
Adelaide 2003
Adelaide 2006 night 1
Adelaide 2006 night 2
Adelaide 2009
Melbourne 2009
Christchurch NZ 2009
Eddie Vedder, Adelaide 2011
PJ20 USA 2011 night 1
PJ20 USA 2011 night 2
Adelaide BIG DAY OUT 2014
Adelaide 1998
Adelaide 2003
Adelaide 2006 night 1
Adelaide 2006 night 2
Adelaide 2009
Melbourne 2009
Christchurch NZ 2009
Eddie Vedder, Adelaide 2011
PJ20 USA 2011 night 1
PJ20 USA 2011 night 2
Adelaide BIG DAY OUT 2014
Oh, that's easy. You just decide, "The world needs my genes to perpetuate."
The thread seems to be more directed at women but as a man, having a child at 39-year gives some kind of new-found energy at your mid-life. It is some sort of a solution to mid-life crisis.
It kind of makes you a prisoner to house so your currently leisure expenditures decrease somehow. But I am sure, in a matter of months, my wife will be probably planning a good comeback for costly leisure activities. :fp: :evil:
And I constantly experienced all kinds of harrassment and pressures and questioning from family / friends about when I will get married and then when I will get kids. :roll: :roll:
2012: Arras, Berlin 1-2
2013: Sao Paulo, Buenos Aires
2014: Milano, Trieste, Vienna, Berlin
2016: NY MSG 1
no.. at times my kids suck... or should I say there are situations involving them that suck?
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
(which is why unless I genuinely respect someone, their opinion will have little, if any, effect on my life; living true to myself is all that matters)
They'll be paying for your social security. Pipe down.
Typo Man: "Thanks kidz, but remembir, stay in skool!"
there's no such thing as a rich Pearl Jam fan.
That's where the extra taxes could go! You won't see couples with 6 or 7 kids walking around anymore unless it's Brad and Angelina. The number of kids you have would become your new status symbol. 5 Grand a pop, every year until their 18. You love your child? Show Me the Money!
what social security? It's already been stated that today's Gen X'ers won't have anything to collect...too many baby boomers living too long.
- Christopher McCandless
I never thought I had the opportunities available for a child, and then with new medical issues my ability to give birth is a non issue now. No can do.
However, if I find Mr. Right, and he has kids, I wouldn't back down from it. I have lots of love for just a Mr. Right, or Mr. Right and then some mini-Mr. Rights.
It's not a selfish decision. To have or not have children is a lifestyle choice.
It is quite a change. I would have to reevaluate when I could go back to school. I would be part of a family, and not just worried about my schedule and time.
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
I've been meaning to post in this thread for a while. I'm a child-free woman, so obviously am in the camp that doesn't believe it's selfish, and honestly mamasan, if one my friends actually said that's what they think, I'd tear a strip out of them for saying it.
I DEFINITELY sense the stigma surrounding childless women though, and that's not cool at all. But it bothers me less and less at time goes on ..... I think that by being able to do whatever I want whenever I want however I want, without the chaos of screaming and crying children, while all my friends have to rush home and do the parenting thing and can't even sit down to a meal in peace for 10 years straight, really softens the blow of that stigma for me though.
The entire time I was growing up until probably my mid to late 20s, I didn't ever want kids. But then I reached a time in my life when I decided I did after all (I am not sure how much that had to do with my feeling it was what I'm supposed to do in life... maybe a lot, maybe a little). So then I met someone who I wanted to have kids with... great. I was excited about it all. But then the relationship fell apart before any kids were made (phew!!), and now I'm mostly back to not really wanting kids again, but do acknowledge that if I met the right person who I wanted to share that experience with and who I think would be a good co-parent (and I wasn't over the hill, and I will be soon if I'm not already), I'd most likely want to have a child with him, and I'd be a great mom. I can see how that would be fulfilling. But without that special person/father of my child, I don't want kids just for the sake of kids, and I'm comfortable with feeling that way. Plus, more and more, I feel like not having kids is more responsible anyway, just because the world is kind of going to shit at a rapid pace IMO, and I'm not sure I would want to subject my children and their children to what might be in store for them. :? Grim, I know.
Ya know I have to say it kills me when I see how much of my taxes go to a school district that I'll never use :fp:
Exactly.
I just realized that you dont have the best pick for a forum name to advocate child-freeness.
OK, OK, I know about the trilogy. :P
2012: Arras, Berlin 1-2
2013: Sao Paulo, Buenos Aires
2014: Milano, Trieste, Vienna, Berlin
2016: NY MSG 1
my children are priceless. there aint enough money in the world by which to value them.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Agreed!
2013 Wrigley
2013 Dallas
2013 Oklahoma City
2013 Seattle
How I choose to feel is how I am.
There's just one word I still believe...and it's LOVE.
"Take care of one another..." -EV