Forced Religion

pearljam133

I'm 17 yrs old. Every single Sunday I'm forced to go to church. Every single Sunday since I was born. I've been straight forward with my parents and told them that I want no part of it. I don't know whether or not I believe, but all I know is that I do not want to attend church regularly. They scold me and tell me I'm fucked up. They can't accept it. Its just getting old at this point. Endless arguing all the time has become redundant. I have no problem with religion or people who choose to lead a religious-based life. I just don't see that as something I want for myself. So has anyone ever had this experience before? Any suggestions on how to get my parents to respect my point of view?

josevolution

What will happen if you refuse to attend it with them ...

Jeanwah

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pearljam133

josevolution wrote:

What will happen if you refuse to attend it with them ...

I'd have no freedom. Lose my phone, TV, ect. I've never actually refused going by not getting in the car. I've just explained my stance on religion to them repeatedly.

LloydXmas

I feel your pain. If you feel like it's not worth arguing, just go for now. Space out or think about other shit during the service. When you're in college or out on your own then don't go. It sucks being a kid sometimes but I dont think losing your relationship with your parents over religion is worth it. When you're older, your parents should realize that your old enough to make your own decisions about life/religion. (At least mine have).

pearljam133

LloydXmas wrote:

I feel your pain. If you feel like it's not worth arguing, just go for now. Space out or think about other shit during the service. When you're in college or out on your own then don't go. It sucks being a kid sometimes but I dont think losing your relationship with your parents over religion is worth it. When you're older, your parents should realize that your old enough to make your own decisions about life/religion. (At least mine have).

Thanks man, that sounds like what I'll have to do. Just wait it out.

pandora

I was never forced, just the opposite, not given the privilege to learn about religion.
So I did it on my own eventually.
I guess you will undo it on your own when you are no longer under the care of your parents.

Hopefully if they ask you nicely on occasion to attend with them
you will find it in your heart to do so.
Being an aging parent memories are very meaningful as is making new memories
and living the family traditions.

Making people who love you and whom you love happy is the best part of living.
Try not to have a cold heart once it's free ... give in a little just to please.

Pjzepp67

pearljam133 wrote:

I'm 17 yrs old. Every single Sunday I'm forced to go to church. Every single Sunday since I was born. I've been straight forward with my parents and told them that I want no part of it. I don't know whether or not I believe, but all I know is that I do not want to attend church regularly. They scold me and tell me I'm fucked up. They can't accept it. Its just getting old at this point. Endless arguing all the time has become redundant. I have no problem with religion or people who choose to lead a religious-based life. I just don't see that as something I want for myself. So has anyone ever had this experience before? Any suggestions on how to get my parents to respect my point of view?

I kind of went through this, but only from pressure from my church going mother; my father, like myself and my sister now, at that time was an atheist and stood by us when we posed the question, "do we have to go to church"...reluctantly my mother realised the futility in forcing non-believers to attend any kind of religious establishment. Luckily for my sister and I,we were aged 11 and 9 respectively, we were given the right of choice which I have since, with my partners full support, afforded this choice to her daughter who was slowly being indoctrinated in to a local church by her grandmother. We both explained our views on religion and what her choices were, and like myself, at 9 years of age, rejected religion totally, and at 18 has never regretted her choice.
I hope this helps, if only to see what may happen in the future. As for getting your parents to respect your life choices, I wish I could offer more. I know their actions are that of normal loving parents that only want the best for their own...hold tight brother your time will come...who knows, you may even find religion in the future, as you say you have no problems with religion...best of luck.

LloydXmas

pearljam133 wrote:

LloydXmas wrote:

I feel your pain. If you feel like it's not worth arguing, just go for now. Space out or think about other shit during the service. When you're in college or out on your own then don't go. It sucks being a kid sometimes but I dont think losing your relationship with your parents over religion is worth it. When you're older, your parents should realize that your old enough to make your own decisions about life/religion. (At least mine have).

Thanks man, that sounds like what I'll have to do. Just wait it out.

Yeah man. It's for the better. I have three kids. My first one is baptized and my other two aren't. I just felt like I was going through the motions again. When my kids are old enough and ask about religion, I'll be honest with them. If church is something they want to be interested in, I'll support them.

Jeanwah

.

brianlux

I was in the same boat, pearljam133- from age 0 to 17. You're on the brink and soon can make your own choices. When you break on through to the other side, you'll appreciate who you are. You might even find your folks are ok after all. I did. Oh, and as for arguing with them- it sounds like you may have exhausted all argument at this point. Go to the path of least resistance- save your energy for doing what works for you. Plan your fantastic future life and live it.

pearljam133

Pjzepp67 wrote:

pearljam133 wrote:

I'm 17 yrs old. Every single Sunday I'm forced to go to church. Every single Sunday since I was born. I've been straight forward with my parents and told them that I want no part of it. I don't know whether or not I believe, but all I know is that I do not want to attend church regularly. They scold me and tell me I'm fucked up. They can't accept it. Its just getting old at this point. Endless arguing all the time has become redundant. I have no problem with religion or people who choose to lead a religious-based life. I just don't see that as something I want for myself. So has anyone ever had this experience before? Any suggestions on how to get my parents to respect my point of view?

I kind of went through this, but only from pressure from my church going mother; my father, like myself and my sister now, at that time was an atheist and stood by us when we posed the question, "do we have to go to church"...reluctantly my mother realised the futility in forcing non-believers to attend any kind of religious establishment. Luckily for my sister and I,we were aged 11 and 9 respectively, we were given the right of choice which I have since, with my partners full support, afforded this choice to her daughter who was slowly being indoctrinated in to a local church by her grandmother. We both explained our views on religion and what her choices were, and like myself, at 9 years of age, rejected religion totally, and at 18 has never regretted her choice.
I hope this helps, if only to see what may happen in the future. As for getting your parents to respect your life choices, I wish I could offer more. I know their actions are that of normal loving parents that only want the best for their own...hold tight brother your time will come...who knows, you may even find religion in the future, as you say you have no problems with religion...best of luck.

Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it

pearljam133

brianlux wrote:

I was in the same boat, pearljam133- from age 0 to 17. You're on the brink and soon can make your own choices. When you break on through to the other side, you'll appreciate who you are. You might even find your folks are ok after all. I did. Oh, and as for arguing with them- it sounds like you may have exhausted all argument at this point. Go to the path of least resistance- save your energy for doing what works for you. Plan your fantastic future life and live it.

Alright man, thanks. You're right, arguing isn't the way to go about things anymore.

brianlux

pearljam133 wrote:

brianlux wrote:

I was in the same boat, pearljam133- from age 0 to 17. You're on the brink and soon can make your own choices. When you break on through to the other side, you'll appreciate who you are. You might even find your folks are ok after all. I did. Oh, and as for arguing with them- it sounds like you may have exhausted all argument at this point. Go to the path of least resistance- save your energy for doing what works for you. Plan your fantastic future life and live it.

Alright man, thanks. You're right, arguing isn't the way to go about things anymore.

Oh, man, I wish someone had told me the same thing 45 years ago.

Hang in there!

Hugh Freaking Dillon

pandora wrote:

I was never forced, just the opposite, not given the privilege to learn about religion.
So I did it on my own eventually.
I guess you will undo it on your own when you are no longer under the care of your parents.

Hopefully if they ask you nicely on occasion to attend with them
you will find it in your heart to do so.
Being an aging parent memories are very meaningful as is making new memories
and living the family traditions.

Making people who love you and whom you love happy is the best part of living.
Try not to have a cold heart once it's free ... give in a little just to please.

while you're at it, make sure to guilt them into going to a Slayer concert with you. see if they can find it in their heart to do so. :fp:

chadwick

i find it impossible to be 17 years old & being forced to do something you do not want too. don't go. give up the phone & tv. fine.

get a job & make your own money to pay your own phone bill & buy your own television & pay the cable guy his monthly charge or give up cable altogether.

you have some pretty wild folks from what it sounds like. you are a man right this moment. 17 isn't 18 but it sure as hell aint 12 years old either.

lukin2006

I think once your 16 the choice should be yours. At least it was that way with my mother and at 16 I stopped going to church...can't stand church, what a waste of Sunday morning.

Good luck in your decision.

JaneNY

I stopped going at 18 - you're almost there. Sometimes parents never get used to the fact that their kids think differently than they do. My parents were okay with my not going. You're almost there - just ride it out till you leave home, and in the meantime, sit there to please them, but live in your head and think about other things that interest you. Just because you're body is in the building to please someone doesn't mean anyone owns your mind.

Random_Wookie

Forced religion is fubared, but your parents dare I say it are trying to look after your best interests. Myself I was lucky I was not forced to go to church every sunday due to the fact we worked on a dairy farm, thus I avoided all those annoying sundays at church. But you need to make up your own mind and hope that your family accepts that. I had my awaking in grade 4 of all places against religion.

Hugh Freaking Dillon

my parents gave me the choice at 12. I never looked back. they were smart enough to know that forcing someone to go to church against their will once old enough to understand the choice they are making is completely counter productive.

anyone thinking they will keep someone going to church by forcing them to until adult hood is, sorry to say, not all that aware of how the human mind works.

hedonist

chadwick wrote:

get a job & make your own money to pay your own phone bill & buy your own television & pay the cable guy his monthly charge or give up cable altogether.

This makes so much sense to me. I hope this young man heeds your advice. Probably easier too, with 18 rounding the corner.

Independence is a beautiful thing.

Also (and I'm sorry if this is out of line) but did anyone else think of that Simps episode where Homer skipped church on a snowy Sunday and made waffles wrapped around a stick of butter?

OP, I wish you well. Sounds like you have a good head there.

riotgrl

I had the exact same experience growing up. If you have an otherwise good relationship with your parents, I would suck it up and go until you're 18. Once I turned 18 I went, on occasion, to keep the peace at home but they found it hard to argue with my logic about being a legal adult. Most of my friends left home to go to college while I was still living at home so if I had been away they would never know what I was doing and that argument helped me convince them they no longer had control over my choices. I gave them 20 years for religion to work but it never did for me. My entire life I questioned everything I was taught about Christianity but no one could ever satisfy my questions and the conversations always ended with being told I needed to have faith. My parents are still trying to convince me 20 years later but it has evolved into, if not mutual respect for our individual beliefs, at least a respect to agree to disagree. I have wonderful parents who tried their best that's probably what they are trying to do for you. Good luck!

81

chadwick wrote:

get a job & make your own money to pay your own phone bill & buy your own television & pay the cable guy his monthly charge or give up cable altogether.

not bad advice.....

although, and i don't know about his family or plans, but it could impact other things like college funding.

suck tho...i feel for you kid. i guess it could be a life lesson...that sometimes we just gotta do shit even if we don't wanna do shit. my advice...find a cute girl and an empty room.

Jason P

I had the same issue growing up with having to go to church every week. And mowing the lawn. And cleaning my room. Don't worry, as long as you are ready to lead your own life, change is not far away.

The bad news is that monthly bills will replace the chores.

:fp:

Hugh Freaking Dillon

pandora wrote:

I was never forced, just the opposite, not given the privilege to learn about religion.
So I did it on my own eventually.
I guess you will undo it on your own when you are no longer under the care of your parents.

Hopefully if they ask you nicely on occasion to attend with them
you will find it in your heart to do so.
Being an aging parent memories are very meaningful as is making new memories
and living the family traditions.

Making people who love you and whom you love happy is the best part of living.
Try not to have a cold heart once it's free ... give in a little just to please.

asking someone to do something that they don't believe in is not love. it's control.

know1

Can you find a different church to attend that is more to your liking?

I say that because you say you are unsure about believing, but sure you don't want to attend that church.

Perhaps that would be a good compromise.

know1

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

asking someone to do something that they don't believe in is not love. it's control.

They're his parents. They're supposed to make him do stuff they believe in.

Hugh Freaking Dillon

know1 wrote:

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

asking someone to do something that they don't believe in is not love. it's control.

They're his parents. They're supposed to make him do stuff they believe in.

YIKES.

Thirty Bills Unpaid

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

know1 wrote:

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

asking someone to do something that they don't believe in is not love. it's control.

They're his parents. They're supposed to make him do stuff they believe in.

YIKES.

No shit.

Know... you might wish to revisit your post and think about that for a few minutes (or hours).

Are you suggesting that lineage should dictate what type of person you must become? Never a chance to become your own person? Even if the stuff one's parents want their child to believe is hurtful to others or- for lack of a better term at the moment- dumb?

pandora

know1 wrote:

They're his parents. They're supposed to make him do stuff they believe in.

Exactly this is what parents do instill values, educate, teach what they themselves believe in
and then children take what speaks to their hearts and go as adults.

I was not taught religion because my parents weren't.
I was an atheist till I was 40 so I did not give my children the knowledge of God.
It is upon them now to seek out what they believe and they are.
But still I did not give the joy I now have in my heart to them at a much earlier age.
I did not know God to give to them. It is a great gift to give.

Jason P

lukin2006 wrote:

...can't stand church, what a waste of Sunday morning.

Amen! You could be using that time to eat space age out of this world Moon Waffles!



1 package caramel
waffle batter
liquid smoke
1/2-1 cup butter

Directions:

1 - Pour first 3 ingredients on waffle iron.
2 - Close iron.
3 - You may enjoy the"waffle runoff" that is squeezed out when you close the iron.
4 - When waffle is done, peel it off the waffle iron.
5 - Wrap waffle around full stick of butter.
6 - Insert toothpick to close waffle around butter and enjoy.