Stop using "gay" as a pejorative

goingtoverona

i feel you bro, my people find it offensive to be called nazis for celebrating gun appreciation day.

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

whgarrett wrote:

I think everyone has such a small amount of time on this planet that I shouldn't judge them for what lifestyle choices they make.

For the record... my people find the term "lifestyle choice" to be about as offensive as saying "that's so gay" when saying something is weak or bad or unfair.

g under p

I'm gay today, very gay.....it's my birthday.

My teens are fed, made myself some sautéed mushrooms, green peppers, onions, spinach, broccoli and kale with grilled potato with scrambled eggs on my Sox plate. Green tea and honey in my Patriots mug looking out on our lake it's all good in the hood....it's all good.

Peace

PJ_Soul

Thanks. This thread needed a little humour.

:fp:

goingtoverona wrote:

i feel you bro, my people find it offensive to be called nazis for celebrating gun appreciation day.

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

whgarrett wrote:

I think everyone has such a small amount of time on this planet that I shouldn't judge them for what lifestyle choices they make.

For the record... my people find the term "lifestyle choice" to be about as offensive as saying "that's so gay" when saying something is weak or bad or unfair.

Abuskedti

So what am I?

1. Pejorative is such a gay word!
2. I am accepting of homosexuality in that I belive in their rights to be married, and not to be ridiculed or insulted any more than anyone else.
3. I do understand a little bit of hesitance against some of what is being taught as diversity. For example, when I see two men making out, or even holding hands lovinglinly, I will be a bit shocked and look away.. say that is disgusting to myself just like a tuna fish sandwich.. I don't like tuna fish. I realize these are people so I have learnd to smile and mask my feelings becasue I care about theirs.
4. So what exactly does acceptance mean.. I should watch men kissing until I understand enough not to have any negative reaction.. do I try it? as people would suggest of a tuna fish sandwich, often we learn to like foods that we once hated. Are we saying that we should all act as though we are bisexual? when we talk about sex to our children, how far do we go.. do we address hetero and homo sexual sex, and say it is up to you.. and if they want to be parents.. we address birth control, and having babies, as well adoption or other options that homosexuals have with regard to becoming a parent.

sorry if i sound like a homophobe.. because I don't think I am... I love everyone. just wondering the societal expections .. wanting to begin with the end in mind.. and find out if I am not thinking right.. and see if I can make adjustments.

PJ_Soul

Abuskedti wrote:

So what am I?

1. Pejorative is such a gay word!
2. I am accepting of homosexuality in that I belive in their rights to be married, and not to be ridiculed or insulted any more than anyone else.
3. I do understand a little bit of hesitance against some of what is being taught as diversity. For example, when I see two men making out, or even holding hands lovinglinly, I will be a bit shocked and look away.. say that is disgusting to myself just like a tuna fish sandwich.. I don't like tuna fish. I realize these are people so I have learnd to smile and mask my feelings becasue I care about theirs.
4. So what exactly does acceptance mean.. I should watch men kissing until I understand enough not to have any negative reaction.. do I try it? as people would suggest of a tuna fish sandwich, often we learn to like foods that we once hated. Are we saying that we should all act as though we are bisexual? when we talk about sex to our children, how far do we go.. do we address hetero and homo sexual sex, and say it is up to you.. and if they want to be parents.. we address birth control, and having babies, as well adoption or other options that homosexuals have with regard to becoming a parent.

sorry if i sound like a homophobe.. because I don't think I am... I love everyone. just wondering the societal expections .. wanting to begin with the end in mind.. and find out if I am not thinking right.. and see if I can make adjustments.

You think two men holding hands is 'disgusting like a tuna fish sandwich'? Sounds to me like if it were socially acceptable to hate gay people, you just might go ahead and do so. Vocally. You are just restraining yourself because you don't want the non-gay-hating segment of society to view you in a negative light (which at least shows that society IS actually moving in the right direction - that homophobia is something that hkmophobes are starting to feel ashamed of or at least secretive about is a positive step in the process) ..... Sorry, but you asked. That is just what it sounds like tk me. If i'm actually wrong, you've got work on how you express yourself. Also, I have NO idea what you're talking about when you wonder if we should all act like bisexuals. Huh???

whgarrett

ooooooo you're going to get in trouble for your 1. point

Not o.k. to use that word in that way. :nono:

I kissed a boy once. I didn't like it.

Prince Of Dorkness

Abuskedti wrote:

3. For example, when I see two men making out, or even holding hands lovinglinly, I will be a bit shocked and look away.. say that is disgusting to myself just like a tuna fish sandwich.. I don't like tuna fish.

Um... I have no way to respond to this. I don't think anyone - gay or straight - has forced you to watch them making out. Look away if you want. I do it when I see women in Bikinis.

And I could be wrong... but I don't think anyone has ever suggested that it's not OK to use "tuna fish" as a pejorative. I don't think we really worry about the feelings of a tuna fish sandwich. Or... the tuna that is now part of that sandwich.

4. So what exactly does acceptance mean.. I should watch men kissing until I understand enough not to have any negative reaction.. do I try it? as people would suggest of a tuna fish sandwich, often we learn to like foods that we once hated.

OK... this is your "Get Out Of Jail Free" card if anyone ever tells you to try gay sex until you like it. Which I'm sure will never happen. But just in case it does...

People have told US that we should "try being straight." Many times. I lost track of how many of my college buddies asked me "but you like boobies, right? Not ever boobies?" or (and this is the stupidest question I've ever been asked) "If you like fucking butts so much, can't you find a girl that will let you do that to her?"

And it disgusts us just as much as the idea in reverse disgusts you. We grew up in a world where it's literally impossible to avoid seeing straight couples depicted making out. You can't even watch a G-rated Disney movie without seeing the Princess get busy with Prince Charming. We somehow have managed to survive and somehow you will, too.

I also can't stand cooking shows. HATE them. And yet... there are cooking shows on every day. And I prevail.

PJ_Soul

Okay, so you both find the behaviour of the other group disgusting. :? I personally don't find any of it disgusting and am not sure why either of you are experiencing disgust when it comes to either gay or straight sex or physical displays of affection. Just because you don't personally want to do it doesn't mean it's disgusting. Geez. Also, did I just see a woman in a bathing suit compared to making out in public?? POD, you are the first guy, gay or straight, who is so off-put by a female's body.

Prince Of Dorkness

Double post. Ignore. Oops.

Abuskedti

No help? I really wasn't asking if you think I am a jerk. The man in the video wants me to see it as normal. I am asking how normal. Lets say my teenage son is having trouble with girls. and he is stressed out about his relationships so far. that is normal. so do I say, have you tried gay? you know, that is how it works with normal things.

Prince Of Dorkness

PJ_Soul wrote:

Okay, so you both find the behaviour of the other group disgusting. :? I personally don't find any of it disgusting and am not sure why either of you are experiencing disgust when it comes to either gay or straight sex or physical displays of affection. Just because you don't personally want to do it doesn't mean it's disgusting. Geez. Also, did I just see a woman in a bathing suit compared to making out in public?? POD, you are the first guy, gay or straight, who is so off-put by a female's body.

No... Ok I don't find seeing it disgusting... I find the idea of doing it myself disgusting. He asked if he should make out with a guy until he likes It and I said you won't get any gay person suggesting that because we know if you could change your sexual orientation by doing that... Most of us would have as teenagers.

But yeah... Seeing women walki around in but floss showing off the cottage cheese and ham hocks at the beach? I promise you, I'm not the only one off-put by that.

Prince Of Dorkness

Abuskedti wrote:

No help? I really wasn't asking if you think I am a jerk. The man in the video wants me to see it as normal. I am asking how normal. Lets say my teenage son is having trouble with girls. and he is stressed out about his relationships so far. that is normal. so do I say, have you tried gay? you know, that is how it works with normal things.

I don't think anyone would ever suggest that you encourage your son to shag a guy because he hasn't had any luck with girls.

MotoDC

Bentleyspop wrote:

For the people on here and elsewhere who thinks being gay is a choice......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2jpmG8fgr4

Awesome vid Jasun

Haha, as a rule, I don't click on vids that were or purport themselves to have been made by Jasun (aka PoD). Although I suppose youtube would be safe enough...

PJ_Soul

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

Okay, so you both find the behaviour of the other group disgusting. :? I personally don't find any of it disgusting and am not sure why either of you are experiencing disgust when it comes to either gay or straight sex or physical displays of affection. Just because you don't personally want to do it doesn't mean it's disgusting. Geez. Also, did I just see a woman in a bathing suit compared to making out in public?? POD, you are the first guy, gay or straight, who is so off-put by a female's body.

No... Ok I don't find seeing it disgusting... I find the idea of doing it myself disgusting. He asked if he should make out with a guy until he likes It and I said you won't get any gay person suggesting that because we know if you could change your sexual orientation by doing that... Most of us would have as teenagers.

But yeah... Seeing women walki around in but floss showing off the cottage cheese and ham hocks at the beach? I promise you, I'm not the only one off-put by that.

Okay.... just so you know, the way you just described what you find so objectionable at the beach is offensive to me as a female and someone who also finds pejorative terms slung at overweight people offensive. You might want to try not doing that when you are trying to make a point about people not offending you as a gay man. If you value respect for the group you identify with, it might serve you well to try and show respect to all others as well.

PJ_Soul

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

Abuskedti wrote:

No help? I really wasn't asking if you think I am a jerk. The man in the video wants me to see it as normal. I am asking how normal. Lets say my teenage son is having trouble with girls. and he is stressed out about his relationships so far. that is normal. so do I say, have you tried gay? you know, that is how it works with normal things.

I don't think anyone would ever suggest that you encourage your son to shag a guy because he hasn't had any luck with girls.

Definitely not! This whole thing with homophobes acting like maybe people want to make their kids gay or at leasy encourage it is so ridiculous, I think they must be fucking kidding.

Abuskedti

So then it is not "normal" That is my point. I think it needs a better definition.. so we can continue to move forward. I believe Gay's should be treasured.. like every other human being. It's not normal.. and what is so good about normal anyway. Gay is something that is different..I think if it is so obvious that we should not view it as an alternative, unless our children find it impossible to live as what has become the societal norm. At that time we welcome it. That seems not so much normal.

Prince Of Dorkness

PJ_Soul wrote:

Okay.... just so you know, the way you just described what you find so objectionable at the beach is offensive to me as a female and someone who also finds pejorative terms slung at overweight people offensive. You might want to try not doing that when you are trying to make a point about people not offending you as a gay man. If you value respect for the group you identify with, it might serve you well to try and show respect to all others as well.

I suppose that would be true, although one could also counter-argue that being very overweight and wearing a gauze bikini in public IS, in fact, a "lifestyle choice" and that many people do find the appearance of it to be unappealing.

I don't think that I should have to have to pretend to not find the look of this...



...to be rather horrifying if I also would like people to stop saying "that's a faggy sweater you're wearing."


Although I guess "cottage cheese hamhocks" was probably a very poor choice of words and for that I am sorry.

Prince Of Dorkness

Abuskedti wrote:

So then it is not "normal" That is my point.

Well I mean... it's "normal" to me.

But what is "normal" and why would anyone want to be that?

Abuskedti

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

Abuskedti wrote:

So then it is not "normal" That is my point.

Well I mean... it's "normal" to me.

But what is "normal" and why would anyone want to be that?

callen

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

whgarrett wrote:

I still use the term. If one on my friends is acting gay, or if they are doing something gay, I tell them.

So like... if one of your friends is blowing you... you say "dude... that's gay."

Ok.

And does he say something like "whhppppoommphhhttth.." or like... what? :fp:

To the point...nice.