Stop using "gay" as a pejorative
butterjam
Posts: 215
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butterjam
Posts: 215
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The poison from the poison stream caught up to you ELEVEN years ago and you floated out of here. Sept. 14, 08
I don't have any other descriptive term to label them I guess.
I will try and work on it.
Peace people
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Can I know longer call my friends that cheat at cards a Belichick?
Very nice video, OP...she was funny.
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I totally 100% agree with her and have been known on occasion to call out people (usually kids in their teens and 20s} about using that word as a pejorative. When an adult (someone in their 30s or older) with kids uses it in the negative I don't hesitate to say something.
To me, you're technically throwing compliments at people or things by calling them that (it's the intent behind the word that's harmful, not the word or what it means or stands for). So how come to you it's a slam? Assuming you're not a homophobe (and I don't think you are?), if you think of it in those literal terms of gay not being being negative at all, perhaps using the word like that, as a dig, won't even make sense to you anymore.
Agreed with PJ_Soul, above. Also, whg:
Definition: Pejorative, A pejorative (also term of abuse or derogatory term) is a word or grammatical form that connotes negativity and expresses contempt or distaste.
If you remember this definition and don't have a bias against gays, then you won't have a problem avoiding negative use of the word "gay".
Those I work with consistently use it, sometimes even at me.
If I do something like dance around or portray some emotional attachment to a cause or object they are quick to tell me "that's gay" "you are being so gay right now."
I think everyone has such a small amount of time on this planet that I shouldn't judge them for what lifestyle choices they make.
It's hard enough just to get by.
Same reason blacks use the "n" word, etc. It's taking the work back and it's their right. (I don't think I would... but how do I know?) I kind of envy people who can do that- who have some kind of identity to take back. Other than being half Amish (which is European anyway) I'm typical Heinz 57 variety white guy. What is somebody going to call me? Pickle relish? Ketchup?
As for someone saying you're acting gay, take it as a complement and say, "thanks". It's their loss if the have a problem with it. I'll tell you quite frankly, I've been mistaken for being gay before. My wife even thought I might be gay when she first met me. (We got that straightened out
He replied in a tizy "I can't!! but, I can go gayly forward!!!"
Love it and I always say it now!!!
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To me, there's nothing "wrong" with being gay any more than with being straight. It just is.
I was in my mid/late 20s and for various reasons, wasn't really into dating - it seemed, I dunno...tedious.
Had my mom and stepdad over for dinner one evening, having some wine and conversation - which turned to my dating life (or lack thereof).
My mom asked me if I was gay, and I said no.
My stepdad (just *slightly* homophobic :roll: ) asked, "so, you're NOT gay?" In that tone - THAT tone...sure you've all heard it at some point.
I said I'm not, but what if I were? So what? Would you somehow see ME differently? The ME that accepted you into my life even though you were half-responsible for breaking up my parents' marriage?
That's always stuck in my head...sometimes it amuses me and other times...the stench of judgment makes me sad, even these many years later.
What about the use of the word fag for a cigarette?
It's a different word altogether. No relation to gay people.
When I was a kid we sometimes referred to a branch for fire wood as a "faggot". I had no idea the word meant anything other than that. The first time I was offered a cigarette in the eight grade a friend of mine wanted to know if i wanted to smoke a "fag". He had swiped a few cigarettes from his dad. I thought it was cool that he knew the proper English term for a smoke. It's interesting how language changes... but not always for the best.
then, this thread is good (at least I think so).
Then, Whygarret makes a comment about how he's never really thought about it but will try to check himself. I see this as a very honest assessement, one most of us can relate to.
But then I read where KAT feels the need to warn us to behave? I don't get it.
Well, I'm with JasonP; I too learned the meaning of pejorative today!
But, I agree with the ones who plan to be more sensative about using the word gay (though it's a term I'm personally not guilty of a flippant use of) but rather, I'm one of those who've never thought much about it. I'd say it's cuz we use our own morals to guide us -- not KATs.
I'm intolerant of intolerance. And, this goes for anyone who assumes that anyone who is NOT gay, or black, or jewish or whatever -- might be suspect of being intolerant.
So like... if one of your friends is xxxxing you... you say "dude... that's gay."
Ok.
And does he say something like "whhppppoommphhhttth.." or like... what? :fp:
For the record... my people find the term "lifestyle choice" to be about as offensive as saying "that's so gay" when saying something is weak or bad or unfair.