Thanks to all and an update on my wife

paysonites

Miss Colada wrote:

I hope that each day brings a moment of happiness that can carry you through the trials that are so testing you. Both of you are pretty amazing; sending much love from Oz
xox

Thanks for your thoughts and support. We're very lucky.

paysonites

kellanazzie wrote:

SD48277 wrote:

Just checking in after being gone for about two weeks. I lit a candle and said a prayer for you and Shawna while I was in Manchester Cathedral a few days back. I wish I could do more for you guys.

This is beautiful
A prayer a day
Takes so little time
And means so much
Hi friends, thinking of you every day

You've been a blessing to us. Thanks for always being here for us. You really have no idea how much positivity comes from this. It's our strength and drive for the day's that lie ahead.

Your friends,
John and Shawna

StillHere

A little love and some good vibes headed your way on this hot and humid Sunday morning.

Hope today finds you all the better than yesterday.

Hugs,
Peace,
jo

SD48277

Sending good vibes your way, and hoping that all goes well with your appointment tomorrow.

sickgirl

Wishing you well, hope all is okay. I'll be thinking about you guys tomorrow and sending all the good stuff your way.

F Me In The Brain

Best of luck today John, will be thinking of you

badbrains

Hang in there guys. Keep fighting the fight! Stay positive in this battle. Throw all negative feelings out, we're all praying and thinking about you guys! Your PJ familys here for u guys!!!!

ItIsAllAboutPJ

John, I really hope you got good news from the Doctor today.
No wonder your health is being compromised given all the stress and pressure you're under. :(
You and Shawna are in my thoughts always.
XO K.

Fahka

I really hope things went ok at your appointment, John. You and your family are in my thoughts as always. Love and good vibes to you.

StillHere

It's a bright new day.
I hope there's bright new news

he.who.forgets

Sending my best to both of you today. Sorry, I've been away from the forum for a while but you havent escaped my thoughts.

paysonites

Good evening,

I'm so sorry it took so long to get back on here. There's been a lot going on over the last few day's. Yesterday I had to cancel my appointment due to work and Shawna's pain issues. I made it in to see the doc today late this afternoon. He's thinking it is extreme nerve damage that seems to effect the whole body. He put in a referral to a nerve specialist a month or so ago. So he's going to work on that some more to get the ball rolling so to speak.
I brought up all the concerns and he basically ordered a full back MRI which doesn't make sense to me but he's the doctor and I've got to trust his judgement. He is a really good doctor. He prescribed some meds but I don't think I'm going to take them. They seem to strong. The one for stress maybe but I hate the idea of being on meds. Especially since I'm still having to take care of my wife through the early hours.

We just don't know what to think about Shawna's recovery. It's been 33 day's since her surgery and she seems to be going down hill again. It's so freaking frustrating to not know if this surgery worked. The doctor said it was going to be a 6 month recovery before physical therapy. I guess he wasn't joking...I'm just starting to get that sickening feeling again deep inside. There's a somewhat new bump on her upper spine that is hurting her severely. She thinks there is something wrong. By the way she is crying all the time and her walking is not looking the greatest; this nightmare might not be over. I'm so worried about her..It's hard for me to function. We just want this chapter of our lives to be over. She told me the other day that she wished that she would die so she could get out of this pain. That turned into a pretty good argument. She says that she would never do something like that which I believe her. It's just that back pain is the worst kind of pain imaginable.

Work has been slow but steady which is wonderful. I'm slowly and I mean slowly digging us out of a really bad situation. I will never stop doing the right things. I just can't see getting anything done with me when my wife needs me. I would rather put myself on the back burner than not be able to take care of my wife. Meaning if their is something wrong and she needs another surgery than she is going to need me. My health crap can most definitively wait. Every body has to make decisions in there life and I just don't want to make the wrong ones. Family first right..Well that means Shawna first to me, kids and then myself. Everything happens for a reason and it'll all work out in the end.

Thank you for being our shoulder during our continued difficulties. I just can't believe how long its been and how long you have stuck by our sides. We are very fortunate people. I'll keep the updates coming in. Thanks again for your love and support. Whenever life seems to beat us down I know that I can come here. When time allows I reread a lot of the posts to get back my strength. Thank you for all that you have done. Again we are very fortunate to have such incredible people giving us support and strength.

Much love...

John and Shawna

F Me In The Brain

Hi John!

Saddened to hear that your health issues may be serious as well -- was hoping it was the stress and not something like the potential nerve damage the Dr told you about.
I get your position and while I would encourage you to try and fit in your own treatments I think that I would take the same approach given the same position. (You continue to demonstrate amazing strength, conviction and spirit John!)
My wife pointed out when I explained to her your latest update that if I took the same track and then something happened to me, who would continue to take care of the kids? So...there is that perspective as well. :?
Try to take care of yourself buddy; we are pulling for you and wishing with everything we have that things get better for you and your family. Please know that we are all here for you & sending our best wishes.

Brett

kellanazzie

John,
I read your update with my heart in my throat. So much on your shoulders & yet its no burden to you. Do you even realize how much awe & respect I have for you? Oodles John, simply oodles of it. Deep breathe, step back & re-group seems to be your mantra. Your a true dragon-slayer John but that damn dragon sure is giving you a real run for your coin. Please try to devote a little time to taking care of yourself too John. You need your health & strength as well. I think Brett said it extremely well & your decisions are totally focused on your family, They are so lucky to have you.
Please tell Shawna she is never out of my thoughts, to hold on through these dark days.
I'll wish for peace tonight,
Kelly

SD48277

John,

I understand your decision, but please take care of yourself as best you can. You and Shawna continue to amaze me. Your strength is incredible. I think if I were in either of your positions, I would have had a meltdown that you could see and hear from space. I still believe that better days are ahead for both of you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

Peace,
Susan

StillHere

I wish I could think of something to say that would make things better for you. And for Shawna, and for the kids. I am just overwhelmed at the amount of dedication and fortitude that you exhibit on a daily basis. Heck, some of us have a hard time getting over burnt toast in the morning, but you just keep on keeping on. You are truly an inspiration, John. Please do take care of yourself. Remember, to truly love another (and you have demonstrated that beyond belief), you must first love yourself.

paysonites

Thank you everybody for your thoughts and inspiration....Today's been a very rough day. I've been working everyday so I don't feel to guilty about throwing in the towel in and working through some difficult emotions. A movie day is just what we needed and it doesn't get better than Lord of The Rings.

I've read today's posts at least four times. I just need some time to respond but I/we appreciate and really feel the support. It just blows me away how much you care. Thank you...Thank you.....Thank you....

Much Much Love,
Your biggest fans,

John and Shawna.....

SD48277

Hoping today was a better day. I read this in a book today:

May love be always with you and you always surrounded with love.

paysonites

Thank you so much everybody for showing us how inspirational and compassionate humankind can really be.
Also for helping us through the darkest and worst year of our lives. You are the true inspiration and we are just your humbled fans.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2QBZiae ... re=related

dimitrispearljam

much love..