Any spare good thoughts...

chiquimonkey

Mom was taken off the ventilator today and is breathing pretty well on her own so far (with oxygen of course!). We even managed to talk with her some and she ate solid food for the first time since she was admitted a week and a half ago. I'm praying it goes well....the good thoughts must be helping, so please keep them coming!

eMMI

Keeping you and yours in my thoughts. So glad to see your Mum's doing a bit better!

ShimmyMommy

I am very pleased to hear there has been improvement. Stay strong! HUGS

decides2dream

chiquimonkey wrote:

Mom was taken off the ventilator today and is breathing pretty well on her own so far (with oxygen of course!). We even managed to talk with her some and she ate solid food for the first time since she was admitted a week and a half ago. I'm praying it goes well....the good thoughts must be helping, so please keep them coming!

Great news!

chiquimonkey

Thanks ladies! She's having a rough time with the delirium but we're trying to work thru it.

Fifthelement

Glad to hear that there is improvement chiqui. Hopefully the delirium will dissipate soon. (((hugs)))

Who Princess

I'm keeping up the good thoughts and hoping your mom continues to improve!

Lizard

Continued good thoughts~~~~>

glad there is some improvement.

chiquimonkey

Thanks guys. She's still in severe delirium, they had to put the safety vest (just a PC way of saying strait jacket) on her last night. And the doctor is referring us to a palliative care unit...seems pretty clear the direction things are headed :(

norm

:(

{{HUG}}

chiquimonkey

norm wrote:

:(

{{HUG}}

Thanks.

I just want one fucking day where I don't cry. Just one, jesus. And my birthday is on Saturday and I'm to the point where I don't even give a fuck.

Claireack

Sending hugs and love your way.

chiquimonkey

Claireack wrote:

Sending hugs and love your way.

Thank you.

Well we have an appointment at 2pm tomorrow, in the "quiet room". I fucking hate that room. I never even step foot in it because I know that's where all the shit goes down. I'm gonna see if we can sit outside on the patio adjacent to it, just because.

I'm trying so hard to do normal things every day but it's difficult. Every drawing I do is so dark and ugly I don't even want to share it with anyone.

Sorry for the rant, just frustrated here.

Claireack

Rant as much as you want. We all need somewhere to go to let off steam.

Hope tomorrow goes as well as it can x

PilateOfTheStorm

sending my prayers and thoughts to you and your mum and your family

don't apologise - rant all you want, let off steam and take care of yourself too during this difficult time

don't feel obliged to do normal stuff, do whatever you feel like

i can't imagine what you're going through but you are so strong and have gotten through so much already, i admire just how well you are taking care of your mother. dealing with this and doctors and nurses and people who are trying to emphathise but aren't helping must be hard but you've shown strength through here.

there'll always be people who you find don't come through when you need it the most - focus on the ones who do and take care of yourself as well

I, like Claireack, hope tomorrow goes well and am sending love & light your way

chiquimonkey

Thank you Claire and Pilate. I'm trying to be careful with myself, I have been working half-days so I can come home and rest before going to the hospital and spend time with our dad to make sure he's okay too. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things like with my Etsy shop and such, mostly to distract myself. All I want to do is just sleep though, it's pathetic.

I'm trying to be strong but there are moments I feel I'm failing miserably because I"ll just break down and cry. But I guess there is no weakness in that...can't help it even if I wanted to.

Ranting here does help though, I feel like I have to keep it altogeher since I'm always speaking with the doctors and such, and my friends are a huge help too.

decides2dream

:(
Cry Chica, cry,
I've cried so much in the past year than I have in the last 10.....and I've not been dealing with what you have.

*big hugs*

chiquimonkey

Yeah I've cried quite a bit, and I managed to stop and do a drawing, only to have hte doctor call me again and it starts all over again :( ugh. I don't want to feel anything anymore, I want to turn my brain off, turn everything OFF, even if it's just for a few minutes.

Fifthelement

(((hugs))) That's some great advice from pilate and claireack. I wish that we could help shoulder your burden chiqui. You and your family are all in my thoughts. Lots and lots and lots of healing vibes being sent your way.

chiquimonkey

Fifthelement wrote:

(((hugs))) That's some great advice from pilate and claireack. I wish that we could help shoulder your burden chiqui. You and your family are all in my thoughts. Lots and lots and lots of healing vibes being sent your way.

Having a place to just vent is a big help for sure, I appreciate the ear you all provide! Thanks for all the thoughts and healing vibes, we can sure use it.

Tomorrow will be weird, I'm going in to work in the morning and folks in the lab are taking me out for a birthday lunch which should be nice. But then we have the meeting at 2pm with the palliative folks at the hospital. After which we're laying down the gauntlet with our family to basically either put up or shut up...come out and see her, or fuck off. They really should have been here months ago, or two years ago when she was in the hospital for 9 months. Oh well, I guess we'll see how that goes anyway.

I guess that's life for you, balance of good stuff and crap. And everyone's trying to make my birthday feel special but it's getting hard to get into the swing of it, I dunno. For now I'm just hoping I can finally fall asleep. I either want to sleep in the middle of the day or not sleep at all at night, all screwed up!