My cousin started smoking when he was 12 or so... so he has been going a pack a day since then. He is now 31.... You won't want it to turn into a big addiction for the poor kid.
Health first aye...
I remember the first time I saw my sister smoking, at 13. I gave her a hard time about it, but didn't want to rock the boat too much - she was trying to be cool with her new friends & I probably thought it was just a phase & didn't want to lose her trust by telling on her. Now that she's been completely addicted for 21 years and been unsuccessful in her attempts to quit, I think we both wish I had been more forceful about getting her to stop back then, even if it meant telling our parents.
I did, however, tell my mom when my little brother was selling drugs out of her house. She didn't believe me, believing instead whatever explanations he gave her, no matter how outrageous. She still doesn't believe me and he lost his trust in me and our relationship hasn't been the same since. But he stopped selling drugs.
As a mother of a 14 year old - I would want to know if he'd been smoking.
I'm a smoker. I probably would try not to create a big scene about it, I'd sit down with both him and my hubby (who is a non-smoker) and try and give him fact based information about the dangers.
I had my first cigarette at 13 and despite trying a few times to give up I'm still a complete addict. I'd want to help my son avoid this and realise that he needs to kick the habit, but I'm aware if he's anything like I was at that age if I go in there with all guns blazing and say 'no you can't do that! I forbid it!' that he'll just say screw you and carry on.
As a mother of a 14 year old - I would want to know if he'd been smoking.
I'm a smoker. I probably would try not to create a big scene about it, I'd sit down with both him and my hubby (who is a non-smoker) and try and give him fact based information about the dangers.
I had my first cigarette at 13 and despite trying a few times to give up I'm still a complete addict. I'd want to help my son avoid this and realise that he needs to kick the habit, but I'm aware if he's anything like I was at that age if I go in there with all guns blazing and say 'no you can't do that! I forbid it!' that he'll just say screw you and carry on.
That's why you and your son are killing yourselves one puff at a time. You're a parent - yes you can "forbid" him. But, you must provide reprecussions if he doesn't listen.
Educate him. Then forbid him. He may carry on, but maybe he gets the message. And if he does carry on, provide REAL consequence - you know that laptop you love so much - no more. You know how you like money on a Friday night - get real. You know how you like cable tv in your room - my tv and it goes into storage. I love this new version of parenting where everyone tries to be their kids' friend.
Obviously, you have the tougher task of do a I say not as I do. But, maybe this is just the incentive you need to quit yourself. Son, we'll work this one day at a time. Every ciggy I have, you get 2. I want to be alive to see that you are alive to raise a healthy and happy family. You are right - there's no chance he stops if you don't. And you're already making excuses for him, so you have an excuse yourself. And at least this way, you're killing him twice as fast as yourself, so he can catch up to you.
Sorry. The world doesn't work the way you tell it to.
As a mother of a 14 year old - I would want to know if he'd been smoking.
I'm a smoker. I probably would try not to create a big scene about it, I'd sit down with both him and my hubby (who is a non-smoker) and try and give him fact based information about the dangers.
I had my first cigarette at 13 and despite trying a few times to give up I'm still a complete addict. I'd want to help my son avoid this and realise that he needs to kick the habit, but I'm aware if he's anything like I was at that age if I go in there with all guns blazing and say 'no you can't do that! I forbid it!' that he'll just say screw you and carry on.
That's why you and your son are killing yourselves one puff at a time. You're a parent - yes you can "forbid" him. But, you must provide reprecussions if he doesn't listen.
Educate him. Then forbid him. He may carry on, but maybe he gets the message. And if he does carry on, provide REAL consequence - you know that laptop you love so much - no more. You know how you like money on a Friday night - get real. You know how you like cable tv in your room - my tv and it goes into storage. I love this new version of parenting where everyone tries to be their kids' friend.
Obviously, you have the tougher task of do a I say not as I do. But, maybe this is just the incentive you need to quit yourself. Son, we'll work this one day at a time. Every ciggy I have, you get 2. I want to be alive to see that you are alive to raise a healthy and happy family. You are right - there's no chance he stops if you don't. And you're already making excuses for him, so you have an excuse yourself. And at least this way, you're killing him twice as fast as yourself, so he can catch up to you.
you're both right. Kids will smoke whether their parents 'forbid' them to or not. The harder the fist clenches, the more sand slips through the fingers.
Parents need to be parents, but she is right in saying, the harder you come down, the more chance the kid will just say fuck off. Take away all the entertaining stuff at home...the kid will sneak out and get in more trouble.
But, i encourage cigarette smoking. Every pack of cigarettes in this country saves american taxpayers, collectively, one dollar. it's true but not a good reason to smoke
RC, SoDak 1998 - KC 2000 - Council Bluffs IA 2003 - Fargo ND 2003 - St. Paul MN 2003 - Alpine Valley 2003 - St Louis MO 2004 - Kissimmee FLA 2004 - Winnipeg 2005 - Thunder Bay 2005 - Chicago 2006 - Grand Rapids MI 2006 - Denver CO 2006 - Lollapalooza 2007 - Bonnaroo 2008 - Austin City Limits 2009 - Los Angeles 2009 - KC 2010 - St Louis MO 2010 - PJ20 Night 1 - PJ20 Night 2
As a mother of a 14 year old - I would want to know if he'd been smoking.
I'm a smoker. I probably would try not to create a big scene about it, I'd sit down with both him and my hubby (who is a non-smoker) and try and give him fact based information about the dangers.
I had my first cigarette at 13 and despite trying a few times to give up I'm still a complete addict. I'd want to help my son avoid this and realise that he needs to kick the habit, but I'm aware if he's anything like I was at that age if I go in there with all guns blazing and say 'no you can't do that! I forbid it!' that he'll just say screw you and carry on.
That's why you and your son are killing yourselves one puff at a time. You're a parent - yes you can "forbid" him. But, you must provide reprecussions if he doesn't listen.
Educate him. Then forbid him. He may carry on, but maybe he gets the message. And if he does carry on, provide REAL consequence - you know that laptop you love so much - no more. You know how you like money on a Friday night - get real. You know how you like cable tv in your room - my tv and it goes into storage. I love this new version of parenting where everyone tries to be their kids' friend.
Obviously, you have the tougher task of do a I say not as I do. But, maybe this is just the incentive you need to quit yourself. Son, we'll work this one day at a time. Every ciggy I have, you get 2. I want to be alive to see that you are alive to raise a healthy and happy family. You are right - there's no chance he stops if you don't. And you're already making excuses for him, so you have an excuse yourself. And at least this way, you're killing him twice as fast as yourself, so he can catch up to you.
okay, I don't have kids (yet...it's a problematic issue)...but, I have a friend who has a 9 year old...'diagnosed' with adhd....she's just too smart (IMO) and is bored in her class structure........ANYTHING they try to take away from her is "okay"....'you can't get on the computer'...."okay"...'you can't watch your favorite TV program for 2 weeks'..."Okay".....'you can't jump on your trampoline for two weeks'...."Okay"....NOTHING they say to her matters..
p.s. do you have kids?? and, it should be...for every 5 cigs I have, you get ONE. Your argument doesn't hold up, especially if it graduates to drug use...but it's hard to say 'you can't do this', if your parents are doing it.
okay, I don't have kids (yet...it's a problematic issue)...but, I have a friend who has a 9 year old...'diagnosed' with adhd....she's just too smart (IMO) and is bored in her class structure........ANYTHING they try to take away from her is "okay"....'you can't get on the computer'...."okay"...'you can't watch your favorite TV program for 2 weeks'..."Okay".....'you can't jump on your trampoline for two weeks'...."Okay"....NOTHING they say to her matters..
p.s. do you have kids??
just by reading your post, id assume she is on ADHD drugs....that's what is supposed to happen. because parents and teacher can't deal with an underachieving kid, they drug em up so they become zombies. ADHD is overdiagnosed in this country and its disgusting.
RC, SoDak 1998 - KC 2000 - Council Bluffs IA 2003 - Fargo ND 2003 - St. Paul MN 2003 - Alpine Valley 2003 - St Louis MO 2004 - Kissimmee FLA 2004 - Winnipeg 2005 - Thunder Bay 2005 - Chicago 2006 - Grand Rapids MI 2006 - Denver CO 2006 - Lollapalooza 2007 - Bonnaroo 2008 - Austin City Limits 2009 - Los Angeles 2009 - KC 2010 - St Louis MO 2010 - PJ20 Night 1 - PJ20 Night 2
okay, I don't have kids (yet...it's a problematic issue)...but, I have a friend who has a 9 year old...'diagnosed' with adhd....she's just too smart (IMO) and is bored in her class structure........ANYTHING they try to take away from her is "okay"....'you can't get on the computer'...."okay"...'you can't watch your favorite TV program for 2 weeks'..."Okay".....'you can't jump on your trampoline for two weeks'...."Okay"....NOTHING they say to her matters..
p.s. do you have kids??
just by reading your post, id assume she is on ADHD drugs....that's what is supposed to happen. because parents and teacher can't deal with an underachieving kid, they drug em up so they become zombies. ADHD is overdiagnosed in this country and its disgusting.
I tee-totally agree...I grew up with her mother, and, instead of trying to get this girl in advanced classes, or dealing with 'hyperactivity' (again, what 9 year old is not hyperactive).....they take her to a flocking psychologist and have had her on TWO separate drugs in the past 2 months, because one 'doesn't work' within a 3 day span, so let's schedule another appointment.......it's crazy...if it were me..(again, easy to say because I don't have kids)...get her into an advanced class and GERMINATE those seeds!!!.....she's not an 'underachiever'....she's above what is expected..and hyperactive as a result (this is just what I think)....but my boyfriend, coincidentally, was an 'underachiever', and I have personally diagnosed him as dyslexic (and he's 24)...but his parents never saw that....there are so many sides to this coin. And DRUGS to Subdue are NOT the answer!!!!!!!
...and I have a master's in forensic psychology...I am not practicing, for personal reasons, but this may be one of those reasons.....people are just so disconnected nowadays, and looking for the 'quick fix'..it's not about encouragment and support and looking for what could be possible...it's about 'give my kid some drugs and put em out cuz i can't deal'....
As a mother of a 14 year old - I would want to know if he'd been smoking.
I'm a smoker. I probably would try not to create a big scene about it, I'd sit down with both him and my hubby (who is a non-smoker) and try and give him fact based information about the dangers.
I had my first cigarette at 13 and despite trying a few times to give up I'm still a complete addict. I'd want to help my son avoid this and realise that he needs to kick the habit, but I'm aware if he's anything like I was at that age if I go in there with all guns blazing and say 'no you can't do that! I forbid it!' that he'll just say screw you and carry on.
That's why you and your son are killing yourselves one puff at a time. You're a parent - yes you can "forbid" him. But, you must provide reprecussions if he doesn't listen.
Educate him. Then forbid him. He may carry on, but maybe he gets the message. And if he does carry on, provide REAL consequence - you know that laptop you love so much - no more. You know how you like money on a Friday night - get real. You know how you like cable tv in your room - my tv and it goes into storage. I love this new version of parenting where everyone tries to be their kids' friend.
Obviously, you have the tougher task of do a I say not as I do. But, maybe this is just the incentive you need to quit yourself. Son, we'll work this one day at a time. Every ciggy I have, you get 2. I want to be alive to see that you are alive to raise a healthy and happy family. You are right - there's no chance he stops if you don't. And you're already making excuses for him, so you have an excuse yourself. And at least this way, you're killing him twice as fast as yourself, so he can catch up to you.
I was speaking in they hypothetical. My son does not smoke and is as yet completely against the idea. Yes I agree education, I said it myself that fact based information was the way to go.
From your reply I felt that you were quite agressive towards me, that is your prerogative, but I'd rather talk and discuss things with my son and explain things to him in a rational reasoned manner than yell at him. Yes I remove privileges where appropriate and so does my non-smoking husband.
You say 'I love this new version of parenting where everyone tries to be their kids' friend.' Showing a little respect to my son isn't trying to be his friend. Surely using effective communication is important in every aspect of your life, why should it be any different with your children.
I was speaking in they hypothetical. My son does not smoke and is as yet completely against the idea. Yes I agree education, I said it myself that fact based information was the way to go.
From your reply I felt that you were quite agressive towards me, that is your prerogative, but I'd rather talk and discuss things with my son and explain things to him in a rational reasoned manner than yell at him. Yes I remove privileges where appropriate and so does my non-smoking husband.
You say 'I love this new version of parenting where everyone tries to be their kids' friend.' Showing a little respect to my son isn't trying to be his friend. Surely using effective communication is important in every aspect of your life, why should it be any different with your children.
I did read your message wrong. I agree with everything you say here. But at the end of the conversation you tell him you are not smoking or there will be consequences. Not please don't smoke. That's really the crux of my point. Boundaries must be set(which as kids they will challenge).
Sorry. The world doesn't work the way you tell it to.
I was speaking in they hypothetical. My son does not smoke and is as yet completely against the idea. Yes I agree education, I said it myself that fact based information was the way to go.
From your reply I felt that you were quite agressive towards me, that is your prerogative, but I'd rather talk and discuss things with my son and explain things to him in a rational reasoned manner than yell at him. Yes I remove privileges where appropriate and so does my non-smoking husband.
You say 'I love this new version of parenting where everyone tries to be their kids' friend.' Showing a little respect to my son isn't trying to be his friend. Surely using effective communication is important in every aspect of your life, why should it be any different with your children.
I did read your message wrong. I agree with everything you say here. But at the end of the conversation you tell him you are not smoking or there will be consequences. Not please don't smoke. That's really the crux of my point. Boundaries must be set(which as kids they will challenge).
I bet you support smoking bans in bars..right?
RC, SoDak 1998 - KC 2000 - Council Bluffs IA 2003 - Fargo ND 2003 - St. Paul MN 2003 - Alpine Valley 2003 - St Louis MO 2004 - Kissimmee FLA 2004 - Winnipeg 2005 - Thunder Bay 2005 - Chicago 2006 - Grand Rapids MI 2006 - Denver CO 2006 - Lollapalooza 2007 - Bonnaroo 2008 - Austin City Limits 2009 - Los Angeles 2009 - KC 2010 - St Louis MO 2010 - PJ20 Night 1 - PJ20 Night 2
DON'T tell your girlfriend. Confront the son and say you know about it, and give him a deadline to tell her himself. Tell him you will have no choice but to tell her about it if he doesn't after that deadline.
then it's his choice.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
I did read your message wrong. I agree with everything you say here. But at the end of the conversation you tell him you are not smoking or there will be consequences. Not please don't smoke. That's really the crux of my point. Boundaries must be set(which as kids they will challenge).
I bet you support smoking bans in bars..right?[/quote]
you don't?
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
Who's not? And at this point in the northeast it's more about being against it in public places (even outside) period. NYC has already moved in that direction. And yes, I am all for smokers killing themselves in private and leaving my lungs to the pollution around me.
Funniest thing is when I see folks smoking in their cars by themselves with their windows rolled down in the middle of winter. I understand it's the nicotine their after, not the smoke. But isn't there some irony there?
Sorry. The world doesn't work the way you tell it to.
Who's not? And at this point in the northeast it's more about being against it in public places (even outside) period. NYC has already moved in that direction. And yes, I am all for smokers killing themselves in private and leaving my lungs to the pollution around me.
Funniest thing is when I see folks smoking in their cars by themselves with their windows rolled down in the middle of winter. I understand it's the nicotine their after, not the smoke. But isn't there some irony there?
I was a smoker on and off for two decades. my wife (at the time, just girlfriend) would refuse to kiss me until I brushed my teeth. It would piss me off to no end. after being quit for some time, and now almost getting the urge to vomit when a smoker just gets in the same elevator as me, I feel like a total ass about how I was with her before. it's just such a disgusting and also useless habit. do I still get the urge when I knock back a few ryes? absolutely. but i'll never do that again.
who doesn't support the smoking ban, waveryder? idiots, that's who.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
Who's not? And at this point in the northeast it's more about being against it in public places (even outside) period. NYC has already moved in that direction. And yes, I am all for smokers killing themselves in private and leaving my lungs to the pollution around me.
Funniest thing is when I see folks smoking in their cars by themselves with their windows rolled down in the middle of winter. I understand it's the nicotine their after, not the smoke. But isn't there some irony there?
I was a smoker on and off for two decades. my wife (at the time, just girlfriend) would refuse to kiss me until I brushed my teeth. It would piss me off to no end. after being quit for some time, and now almost getting the urge to vomit when a smoker just gets in the same elevator as me, I feel like a total ass about how I was with her before. it's just such a disgusting and also useless habit. do I still get the urge when I knock back a few ryes? absolutely. but i'll never do that again.
who doesn't support the smoking ban, waveryder? idiots, that's who.
Fascism rears its ugly head again.
RC, SoDak 1998 - KC 2000 - Council Bluffs IA 2003 - Fargo ND 2003 - St. Paul MN 2003 - Alpine Valley 2003 - St Louis MO 2004 - Kissimmee FLA 2004 - Winnipeg 2005 - Thunder Bay 2005 - Chicago 2006 - Grand Rapids MI 2006 - Denver CO 2006 - Lollapalooza 2007 - Bonnaroo 2008 - Austin City Limits 2009 - Los Angeles 2009 - KC 2010 - St Louis MO 2010 - PJ20 Night 1 - PJ20 Night 2
I was a smoker on and off for two decades. my wife (at the time, just girlfriend) would refuse to kiss me until I brushed my teeth. It would piss me off to no end. after being quit for some time, and now almost getting the urge to vomit when a smoker just gets in the same elevator as me, I feel like a total ass about how I was with her before. it's just such a disgusting and also useless habit. do I still get the urge when I knock back a few ryes? absolutely. but i'll never do that again.
who doesn't support the smoking ban, waveryder? idiots, that's who.
Fascism rears its ugly head again.
Yeah. That's fascism. Someone doesn't agree with you, give it an ugly name. Wild guess that you're from Europe. When I was at the World Cup, you weren't allowed to smoke in your seat, but you could in the hallways. At halftime it was like a wall of smoke getting out to the bathroom.
If you don't know how rude smoking is to people around you, you need a lesson in courtesy. Not a prude. Smoke cigars every now and then myself. But only outside by myself or with others doing same or in cigar shop (and as PD alluded to - with full knowledge I ain't gettin any later). It's just basic common courtesy.
Sorry. The world doesn't work the way you tell it to.
BWAHAHAHA. I think you need to educate yourself on what fascism is, WR. HAHAHAHA.
Just a point: the smoking ban in bars came into effect in my kneck of the woods while I was still a pack-a-day smoker. Guess what? I SUPPORTED IT BACK THEN TOO. Anyone who thinks it's their inherent right to pollute the air of everyone else indoors is completely malfunctioned. Not to mention egregiously self-centred.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
Restaurants, sure. But when its a bar only?? Come onnn.. :roll:
indoors is indoors, food or not. I STILL don't want to be sucking in someone else's poison if I don't have to. go outside.
You're and adult right? Then how about making an adult decision and going to a restaurant that dosen't allow smoking.
ah, the age-old smokers defense that we non-smokers can go somewhere else. how about being a decent human being and keeping your fucking poison to yourself.
maybe I should just start shitting in the sidewalk, and if you step in it, I tell you it's your fucking fault and you should go find a different sidewalk to walk on? that makes as much sense as that moronic logic.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
maybe I should just start shitting in the sidewalk, and if you step in it, I tell you it's your fucking fault and you should go find a different sidewalk to walk on? that makes as much sense as that moronic logic.
there are worse things in the world than smoking. Chill out. You are a smoking natzi. do you yell at ed when he smokes on stage?
RC, SoDak 1998 - KC 2000 - Council Bluffs IA 2003 - Fargo ND 2003 - St. Paul MN 2003 - Alpine Valley 2003 - St Louis MO 2004 - Kissimmee FLA 2004 - Winnipeg 2005 - Thunder Bay 2005 - Chicago 2006 - Grand Rapids MI 2006 - Denver CO 2006 - Lollapalooza 2007 - Bonnaroo 2008 - Austin City Limits 2009 - Los Angeles 2009 - KC 2010 - St Louis MO 2010 - PJ20 Night 1 - PJ20 Night 2
there are worse things in the world than smoking. Chill out. You are a smoking natzi. do you yell at ed when he smokes on stage?
of course there are, but that's not the title of the thread, is it? smoking nazi? good one. I'm not the one telling people to go somewhere else if I don't like your toxic air.
I have no problem with smoking/smokers. I have an issue with ignorant/selfish human beings. I have several friends and family members who smoke. fortunately, they have some common sense in their heads and it doesn't have to ever get heated.
when I was a smoker, I wasn't a douchebag that ever told anyone to go find another restaurant if they didn't like it. I didn't even smoke in people's houses/cars, even if they said it was ok. I went outside.
it's called being kind. Decent. get it?
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
there are worse things in the world than smoking. Chill out. You are a smoking natzi. do you yell at ed when he smokes on stage?
internet 101: don't presume to know a person's tone by text alone. if you knew me, you'd know that if chilled out anymore I'd be in a fucking coma.
I get that, so I guess I can understand no smoking policies in public buildings but not on private property, unless it's the choice of the owner, not a government policy.
I don't have much right, nor should I, to say what happens on somebody else's private property. You shouldn't either. That is all.
RC, SoDak 1998 - KC 2000 - Council Bluffs IA 2003 - Fargo ND 2003 - St. Paul MN 2003 - Alpine Valley 2003 - St Louis MO 2004 - Kissimmee FLA 2004 - Winnipeg 2005 - Thunder Bay 2005 - Chicago 2006 - Grand Rapids MI 2006 - Denver CO 2006 - Lollapalooza 2007 - Bonnaroo 2008 - Austin City Limits 2009 - Los Angeles 2009 - KC 2010 - St Louis MO 2010 - PJ20 Night 1 - PJ20 Night 2
There should be places for smokers to smoke, period.
The direction the new laws are taking are very unfair to the smokers,
treating them as second class citizens because they have an unhealthy habit.
Whats next?
Government does not need to be involved in this.
It should provide information only and allow citizens to choose.
Bars and restaurants should be allowed to provide both smoking and non smoking areas if they so choose,
it should be up to the owner because they know best the clientele and what makes the business a success.
The blanket laws now that allow for no smoking at all in ones business establishment is overkill.
Just once again way too much government.
As far as the street...its free air they should be allowed to smoke. As far as public gathering places provide smoking and non smoking areas.
I thought that was an interesting point someone made about one's idol smoking in the presence of a nonsmoker who is in favor of the harshest bans ...
I too wonder if they would be less judgmental and more tolerant because of who is doing the smoking.
Can't really picture someone avoiding a very favorite person because of a little cigarette smoke.
Maybe we should treat each other with the same respect...smokers and nonsmokers alike.
Just watch out for each other and try to like and accept each other.
ah, the age-old smokers defense that we non-smokers can go somewhere else. how about being a decent human being and keeping your fucking poison to yourself.
maybe I should just start shitting in the sidewalk, and if you step in it, I tell you it's your fucking fault and you should go find a different sidewalk to walk on? that makes as much sense as that moronic logic.
Should we start banning cars and busses for exhaust emission, I don't want to breath those toxins (carbon dioxide), so why don't we ban them?
Same goes for perfumes/ fragrances - my wife gets severe asthma attacks ( could be fatal) around certin kinds of fregrances, now we are burdened with keeping an Empi pen in her purse where ever we go... Shouldn't we ban fragrances since it could cause severe asthma attacks and cause death? Where is the outrage over these?
It is pretty effortless to avoid smoke/smoking.
Just because you don't like the smell does not mean your "inhaling it"
Comments
I remember the first time I saw my sister smoking, at 13. I gave her a hard time about it, but didn't want to rock the boat too much - she was trying to be cool with her new friends & I probably thought it was just a phase & didn't want to lose her trust by telling on her. Now that she's been completely addicted for 21 years and been unsuccessful in her attempts to quit, I think we both wish I had been more forceful about getting her to stop back then, even if it meant telling our parents.
I did, however, tell my mom when my little brother was selling drugs out of her house. She didn't believe me, believing instead whatever explanations he gave her, no matter how outrageous. She still doesn't believe me and he lost his trust in me and our relationship hasn't been the same since. But he stopped selling drugs.
I'm a smoker. I probably would try not to create a big scene about it, I'd sit down with both him and my hubby (who is a non-smoker) and try and give him fact based information about the dangers.
I had my first cigarette at 13 and despite trying a few times to give up I'm still a complete addict. I'd want to help my son avoid this and realise that he needs to kick the habit, but I'm aware if he's anything like I was at that age if I go in there with all guns blazing and say 'no you can't do that! I forbid it!' that he'll just say screw you and carry on.
That's why you and your son are killing yourselves one puff at a time. You're a parent - yes you can "forbid" him. But, you must provide reprecussions if he doesn't listen.
Educate him. Then forbid him. He may carry on, but maybe he gets the message. And if he does carry on, provide REAL consequence - you know that laptop you love so much - no more. You know how you like money on a Friday night - get real. You know how you like cable tv in your room - my tv and it goes into storage. I love this new version of parenting where everyone tries to be their kids' friend.
Obviously, you have the tougher task of do a I say not as I do. But, maybe this is just the incentive you need to quit yourself. Son, we'll work this one day at a time. Every ciggy I have, you get 2. I want to be alive to see that you are alive to raise a healthy and happy family. You are right - there's no chance he stops if you don't. And you're already making excuses for him, so you have an excuse yourself. And at least this way, you're killing him twice as fast as yourself, so he can catch up to you.
you're both right. Kids will smoke whether their parents 'forbid' them to or not. The harder the fist clenches, the more sand slips through the fingers.
Parents need to be parents, but she is right in saying, the harder you come down, the more chance the kid will just say fuck off. Take away all the entertaining stuff at home...the kid will sneak out and get in more trouble.
But, i encourage cigarette smoking. Every pack of cigarettes in this country saves american taxpayers, collectively, one dollar.
p.s. do you have kids?? and, it should be...for every 5 cigs I have, you get ONE. Your argument doesn't hold up, especially if it graduates to drug use...but it's hard to say 'you can't do this', if your parents are doing it.
just by reading your post, id assume she is on ADHD drugs....that's what is supposed to happen. because parents and teacher can't deal with an underachieving kid, they drug em up so they become zombies. ADHD is overdiagnosed in this country and its disgusting.
Tell him that he as to come clean with his mom... it'll be better for him is she hears it from him... instead of you.
Hail, Hail!!!
I was speaking in they hypothetical. My son does not smoke and is as yet completely against the idea. Yes I agree education, I said it myself that fact based information was the way to go.
From your reply I felt that you were quite agressive towards me, that is your prerogative, but I'd rather talk and discuss things with my son and explain things to him in a rational reasoned manner than yell at him. Yes I remove privileges where appropriate and so does my non-smoking husband.
You say 'I love this new version of parenting where everyone tries to be their kids' friend.' Showing a little respect to my son isn't trying to be his friend. Surely using effective communication is important in every aspect of your life, why should it be any different with your children.
I did read your message wrong. I agree with everything you say here. But at the end of the conversation you tell him you are not smoking or there will be consequences. Not please don't smoke. That's really the crux of my point. Boundaries must be set(which as kids they will challenge).
then it's his choice.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
you don't?
Fargo 2003
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me too! on both counts!
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Who's not? And at this point in the northeast it's more about being against it in public places (even outside) period. NYC has already moved in that direction. And yes, I am all for smokers killing themselves in private and leaving my lungs to the pollution around me.
Funniest thing is when I see folks smoking in their cars by themselves with their windows rolled down in the middle of winter. I understand it's the nicotine their after, not the smoke. But isn't there some irony there?
I was a smoker on and off for two decades. my wife (at the time, just girlfriend) would refuse to kiss me until I brushed my teeth. It would piss me off to no end. after being quit for some time, and now almost getting the urge to vomit when a smoker just gets in the same elevator as me, I feel like a total ass about how I was with her before. it's just such a disgusting and also useless habit. do I still get the urge when I knock back a few ryes? absolutely. but i'll never do that again.
who doesn't support the smoking ban, waveryder? idiots, that's who.
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Yeah. That's fascism. Someone doesn't agree with you, give it an ugly name. Wild guess that you're from Europe. When I was at the World Cup, you weren't allowed to smoke in your seat, but you could in the hallways. At halftime it was like a wall of smoke getting out to the bathroom.
If you don't know how rude smoking is to people around you, you need a lesson in courtesy. Not a prude. Smoke cigars every now and then myself. But only outside by myself or with others doing same or in cigar shop (and as PD alluded to - with full knowledge I ain't gettin any later). It's just basic common courtesy.
BWAHAHAHA. I think you need to educate yourself on what fascism is, WR. HAHAHAHA.
Just a point: the smoking ban in bars came into effect in my kneck of the woods while I was still a pack-a-day smoker. Guess what? I SUPPORTED IT BACK THEN TOO. Anyone who thinks it's their inherent right to pollute the air of everyone else indoors is completely malfunctioned. Not to mention egregiously self-centred.
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indoors is indoors, food or not. I STILL don't want to be sucking in someone else's poison if I don't have to. go outside.
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ah, the age-old smokers defense that we non-smokers can go somewhere else. how about being a decent human being and keeping your fucking poison to yourself.
maybe I should just start shitting in the sidewalk, and if you step in it, I tell you it's your fucking fault and you should go find a different sidewalk to walk on? that makes as much sense as that moronic logic.
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there are worse things in the world than smoking. Chill out. You are a smoking natzi. do you yell at ed when he smokes on stage?
of course there are, but that's not the title of the thread, is it? smoking nazi? good one. I'm not the one telling people to go somewhere else if I don't like your toxic air.
I have no problem with smoking/smokers. I have an issue with ignorant/selfish human beings. I have several friends and family members who smoke. fortunately, they have some common sense in their heads and it doesn't have to ever get heated.
when I was a smoker, I wasn't a douchebag that ever told anyone to go find another restaurant if they didn't like it. I didn't even smoke in people's houses/cars, even if they said it was ok. I went outside.
it's called being kind. Decent. get it?
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internet 101: don't presume to know a person's tone by text alone. if you knew me, you'd know that if chilled out anymore I'd be in a fucking coma.
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I get that, so I guess I can understand no smoking policies in public buildings but not on private property, unless it's the choice of the owner, not a government policy.
I don't have much right, nor should I, to say what happens on somebody else's private property. You shouldn't either. That is all.
The direction the new laws are taking are very unfair to the smokers,
treating them as second class citizens because they have an unhealthy habit.
Whats next?
Government does not need to be involved in this.
It should provide information only and allow citizens to choose.
Bars and restaurants should be allowed to provide both smoking and non smoking areas if they so choose,
it should be up to the owner because they know best the clientele and what makes the business a success.
The blanket laws now that allow for no smoking at all in ones business establishment is overkill.
Just once again way too much government.
As far as the street...its free air they should be allowed to smoke. As far as public gathering places provide smoking and non smoking areas.
I thought that was an interesting point someone made about one's idol smoking in the presence of a nonsmoker who is in favor of the harshest bans ...
I too wonder if they would be less judgmental and more tolerant because of who is doing the smoking.
Can't really picture someone avoiding a very favorite person because of a little cigarette smoke.
Maybe we should treat each other with the same respect...smokers and nonsmokers alike.
Just watch out for each other and try to like and accept each other.
Same goes for perfumes/ fragrances - my wife gets severe asthma attacks ( could be fatal) around certin kinds of fregrances, now we are burdened with keeping an Empi pen in her purse where ever we go... Shouldn't we ban fragrances since it could cause severe asthma attacks and cause death? Where is the outrage over these?
It is pretty effortless to avoid smoke/smoking.
Just because you don't like the smell does not mean your "inhaling it"