i've had opportunities too... usually (as luck would have it :roll: ) its the female friends i'm not really attracted to... guess there's something about not being attracted to someone that just makes me that much more comfortable and charismatic... its a shame thats how it works
It's a bitch ain't it? But, without sounding like a man-whore, if you're single and sex is presenting itself to you, the choice to have it should be analyzed thoroughly.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
i've had opportunities too... usually (as luck would have it :roll: ) its the female friends i'm not really attracted to... guess there's something about not being attracted to someone that just makes me that much more comfortable and charismatic... its a shame thats how it works
It's a bitch ain't it? But, without sounding like a man-whore, if you're single and sex is presenting itself to you, the choice to have it should be analyzed thoroughly.
oh, did i mention i usually take said opportunities?
i've had opportunities too... usually (as luck would have it :roll: ) its the female friends i'm not really attracted to... guess there's something about not being attracted to someone that just makes me that much more comfortable and charismatic... its a shame thats how it works
It's a bitch ain't it? But, without sounding like a man-whore, if you're single and sex is presenting itself to you, the choice to have it should be analyzed thoroughly.
oh, did i mention i usually take said opportunities?
so many friends lost....
no regrets... ?
Friends come (no pun intended), and friends go.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
prolonged sexual withdrawl in a relationship, i'm talking greater than a couple of months, is a sign of something wrong in the relationship. if you angered your girl by saying something more than likely she will not cut you off for a few months. everyone has needs and desires and everone wants intimacy. maybe on different levels, but everyone has to have that.
to the OP, if she is not giving you what you need, find someone who will. you deserve better than to be stuck in a sexless, non-intimate relationship.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
to the OP, if she is not giving you what you need, find someone who will. you deserve better than to be stuck in a sexless, non-intimate relationship.
This is the bottom line. Don't lose sight of what you deserve yourself.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
if she was not cheating she was definitely interested in or digging someone else.
you sure know how to put a grieving guys mind at ease... don't go into therapy
no harm was intended. i've been through therapy. bluntness worked best for me. i was just telling it like it was in my situation. i was right, he strayed by texting that girl. and that is normal in that situation. looking back i should have strayed too.
Really... You shouldve strayed??? I more than suspect straying isnt really your thing... Especially whilst youre in a relationship you were totally committed to. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but i think cheating wouldnt have made the situation any more tolerable for you.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Really... You shouldve strayed??? I more than suspect straying isnt really your thing... Especially whilst youre in a relationship you were totally committed to. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but i think cheating wouldnt have made the situation any more tolerable for you.
yeah you are right. straying was the furthest thing from my mind. and when i am committed to someone straying is not an option. i guess one of my biggest flaws is going "all in" on relationships. and i think had i cheated it would have made me feel much worse.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
I feel sorry for ya man, you clearly love her.... Best of luck
But if anyone knows how you feel, it's this guy here
Sydney 11/02/2003
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
thanks for all the support and advice. still haven't decided what to do but it was helpful to see everyones ideas and opinions laid out.
it is quite the catch 22.... I really do love her a great deal but don'#t wanna go through the rest of my life without sex.... anyway.... laters and thanks
I would discuss it with her, and if you're still not on the same page, move on.
That said, I'm not getting any from my girl, but that's only because of health related conditions that will eventually pass. She makes up for it by sucking my brains through her mouth when she kisses. Your girl should be affectionate with you in some way, otherwise you are just friends. If she's not even kissing you, she deserves to be cheated on. She's not even giving you a relationship. What does she expect.
I have to ask though, how often do you see her? If you're only seeing her a few times a month, once a month isn't a bad record. If you see her everyday, something is off.
Believe me you're better off without her, obviously sex is not everything in a meaningful relationship but i IT IS part of it. Imagine that you married her, then suddenly she would have tons of sex with you? that's not going to happen no matter what. she have some unsolved issues and you're paying for it...
totally agree. relationships are tough. keys
1 - trust
2 - communication
3 - sex
you have those components and shit will probably work out.
to the OP...sounds like your frustration initiated your actions. Not saying you were right or wrong, but it doesn't sound like you were real happy. Don't sell yourself short...you should be in a realtionshiop because you enjoy it, not because you feel like you should be. Best of luck with whatever you do. I recommend getting shithammered drunk and see what happens
turns out she says she can't trust me anymore and wants to be alone for awhile to live her life. shes been in relationships for ten years. so she broke up with me over facebook chat.
Ahh, sorry to hear that. To be honest, her sexual and emotional distance probably indicates that she checked out of your relationship awhile ago but she was too much of a coward to end it out loud. (((hugs))) and (((good vibes))) coming your way.
"What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
Sydney 11/02/2003
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
turns out she says she can't trust me anymore and wants to be alone for awhile to live her life. shes been in relationships for ten years. so she broke up with me over facebook chat.
i'm so sorry to hear that. been through the same thing myself.
i do think that it is bullshit that the reason she gave was that she can't trust you. you did some text messages, but deal. she was not exacly acting as if she wanted to be with you, so you sought that feeling of being wanted elsewhere..i think she was just looking for a way out and her lack of interest in sex was the thing that should have tipped you off that something was wrong. in my experience my ex was cheating on me the entire time for over a year and she projected her guilt on to me by constantly accusing me of cheating on her, which i never did, and she had said she could not trust me as well, when it was her who obviously should not have been trusted...
your g/f did it over chat because she is cowardly and could not do it in person or at least over the phone. you deserve that at least, an in person break up, not a digital one....it is best to let her go. it is not going to be easy, but think about what YOU deserve and what she was not giving you. relationships work both ways, and a wise person once said to me that "love is a verb", an action, love is an activity and something both people are constantly working for. and if one person treats it as a verb and the other doesn't, it ain't gonna work. in time you will see that something was fundamentally wrong in the relationship that was not going to allow it to work out. again i am sorry to hear that, and i am sorry to be a downer in this thread. i have been around the block a few times and had a similar experience, i was just telling you what i have figured out over time, i guess i can call it perspective. you will get that one day as well..
the good news is you are young, there will be other women. hang in there man.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
Just wanted to say that sometimes a female not wanting to have sex is not anything to do with the guy involved. It could be something deeper. Might not have been the case here but I just wanted to put it out there.
Just wanted to say that sometimes a female not wanting to have sex is not anything to do with the guy involved. It could be something deeper. Might not have been the case here but I just wanted to put it out there.
I'll go now.
This is very true.
She may want to seek some professional help, something they can do together as a couple
if indeed this is the problem.
Casual sex has never been my thing, been with very few men, count on both hands
But I do remember a short few months one summer
when I was not in a relationship that I was on the prowl
I was 23.
I met a few men that were really lacking in the knowledge of how to please a lady...
in the bedroom and out.
For many women outside the bedroom can be as important as in.
We can differ greatly from men, as most often sex is an affair of the heart.
Now perhaps because I didn't love these men meant the sex would not be up to par,
the bond wasn't there, it seemed pretty meaningless to me.
My point is the sharing involved in good sex, the loving bond.
Many comments here pretty much said bail on the woman you love.
Good thing you found out now etc.
These seem pretty cold when we are talking about a loving bond and
lasting relationships which is what I'm assuming you both want equally.
As I and others mentioned communication is a must
and also standing by your lady, helping her through this with tenderness, loyalty and love.
For me that is your duty as her lover and best friend.
She may need some outside help but she needs your understanding most of all.
I guess you can search your heart and see how committed you are to her...
which may just be the crux of the problem,
she may sense you are not committed to her and she has pulled away already.
I hope love can last, that a young couple can work over the bump in the road,
and grow together as their love grows.
Many comments here pretty much said bail on the woman you love.
Good thing you found out now etc.
These seem pretty cold when we are talking about a loving bond and
lasting relationships which is what I'm assuming you both want equally.
as cold as a facebook breakup?...
sounds like the bail crowd was right... if the breakup was any indication, the communication was as lacking as the intimacy
"making it work" would be a fine solution if there were kids or marriage to think about, but why go through all the frustration and work when there's probably someone more compatible for you out there?... it sounds like they were dealing with real deal breakers here
Many comments here pretty much said bail on the woman you love.
Good thing you found out now etc.
These seem pretty cold when we are talking about a loving bond and
lasting relationships which is what I'm assuming you both want equally.
as cold as a facebook breakup?...
sounds like the bail crowd was right... if the breakup was any indication, the communication was as lacking as the intimacy
"making it work" would be a fine solution if there were kids or marriage to think about, but why go through all the frustration and work when there's probably someone more compatible for you out there?... it sounds like they were dealing with real deal breakers here
or learning life's lessons...
learning to communicate is something they could be concentrating on.
It depends on how committed they are.
Bailing is the easy way out in my opinion
Now they go their separate ways as the people they came to the relationship as.
I know nothing of facebook and usually think that if someone asks for help they truly need it
I'm from a different generation you know, my thinking is
try to be all you can be for your partner,
that in loving bonds, where the best sex is, much is learned.
These bonds may not always last forever but they are worth the effort
and when you leave you are better for it.
I also believe in soulmates but even there the work is never ending,
keeping love alive and communication flowing
turns out she says she can't trust me anymore and wants to be alone for awhile to live her life. shes been in relationships for ten years. so she broke up with me over facebook chat.
:?
I didn't see this but was that a unique way of getting back at you?
would that be public humiliation at it's finest?
sorry about that
I don't get how impersonal and personal the world is getting,
everyone caring yet not caring at the same time
hope you find true lasting love or whatever makes your heart happy
Ahh, sorry to hear that. To be honest, her sexual and emotional distance probably indicates that she checked out of your relationship awhile ago but she was too much of a coward to end it out loud. (((hugs))) and (((good vibes))) coming your way.
And any kind of oral sex was off the table cos she hates it.
I bet she doesn't hate receiving it. You gotta do your part too, dude.
man i'd set up camp down there if she let me.
thanks to all for comments and encouragement. but it ain't looking positive at this stage. she doesn't want to be with me at the moment so what can i do.
also to the poster who suggested she was trying to publicly humiliate me.... she broke up with me in the private chat section of facebook.... so it wasn't public at all, although it was still not very respectful.
Comments
It's a bitch ain't it? But, without sounding like a man-whore, if you're single and sex is presenting itself to you, the choice to have it should be analyzed thoroughly.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
HOLLA!
I got memories. I got shit so much it don't show."
so many friends lost....
no regrets... ?
http://seanbriceart.com/
Friends come (no pun intended), and friends go.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
http://seanbriceart.com/
to the OP, if she is not giving you what you need, find someone who will. you deserve better than to be stuck in a sexless, non-intimate relationship.
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
This is the bottom line. Don't lose sight of what you deserve yourself.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Really... You shouldve strayed??? I more than suspect straying isnt really your thing... Especially whilst youre in a relationship you were totally committed to. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but i think cheating wouldnt have made the situation any more tolerable for you.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
But if anyone knows how you feel, it's this guy here
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
thanks for all the support and advice. still haven't decided what to do but it was helpful to see everyones ideas and opinions laid out.
it is quite the catch 22.... I really do love her a great deal but don'#t wanna go through the rest of my life without sex.... anyway.... laters and thanks
That said, I'm not getting any from my girl, but that's only because of health related conditions that will eventually pass. She makes up for it by sucking my brains through her mouth when she kisses. Your girl should be affectionate with you in some way, otherwise you are just friends. If she's not even kissing you, she deserves to be cheated on. She's not even giving you a relationship. What does she expect.
I have to ask though, how often do you see her? If you're only seeing her a few times a month, once a month isn't a bad record. If you see her everyday, something is off.
totally agree. relationships are tough. keys
1 - trust
2 - communication
3 - sex
you have those components and shit will probably work out.
to the OP...sounds like your frustration initiated your actions. Not saying you were right or wrong, but it doesn't sound like you were real happy. Don't sell yourself short...you should be in a realtionshiop because you enjoy it, not because you feel like you should be. Best of luck with whatever you do. I recommend getting shithammered drunk and see what happens
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
i do think that it is bullshit that the reason she gave was that she can't trust you. you did some text messages, but deal. she was not exacly acting as if she wanted to be with you, so you sought that feeling of being wanted elsewhere..i think she was just looking for a way out and her lack of interest in sex was the thing that should have tipped you off that something was wrong. in my experience my ex was cheating on me the entire time for over a year and she projected her guilt on to me by constantly accusing me of cheating on her, which i never did, and she had said she could not trust me as well, when it was her who obviously should not have been trusted...
your g/f did it over chat because she is cowardly and could not do it in person or at least over the phone. you deserve that at least, an in person break up, not a digital one....it is best to let her go. it is not going to be easy, but think about what YOU deserve and what she was not giving you. relationships work both ways, and a wise person once said to me that "love is a verb", an action, love is an activity and something both people are constantly working for. and if one person treats it as a verb and the other doesn't, it ain't gonna work. in time you will see that something was fundamentally wrong in the relationship that was not going to allow it to work out. again i am sorry to hear that, and i am sorry to be a downer in this thread. i have been around the block a few times and had a similar experience, i was just telling you what i have figured out over time, i guess i can call it perspective. you will get that one day as well..
the good news is you are young, there will be other women. hang in there man.
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
Just wanted to say that sometimes a female not wanting to have sex is not anything to do with the guy involved. It could be something deeper. Might not have been the case here but I just wanted to put it out there.
I'll go now.
-Greg Dulli
She may want to seek some professional help, something they can do together as a couple
if indeed this is the problem.
Casual sex has never been my thing, been with very few men, count on both hands
But I do remember a short few months one summer
when I was not in a relationship that I was on the prowl
I was 23.
I met a few men that were really lacking in the knowledge of how to please a lady...
in the bedroom and out.
For many women outside the bedroom can be as important as in.
We can differ greatly from men, as most often sex is an affair of the heart.
Now perhaps because I didn't love these men meant the sex would not be up to par,
the bond wasn't there, it seemed pretty meaningless to me.
My point is the sharing involved in good sex, the loving bond.
Many comments here pretty much said bail on the woman you love.
Good thing you found out now etc.
These seem pretty cold when we are talking about a loving bond and
lasting relationships which is what I'm assuming you both want equally.
As I and others mentioned communication is a must
and also standing by your lady, helping her through this with tenderness, loyalty and love.
For me that is your duty as her lover and best friend.
She may need some outside help but she needs your understanding most of all.
I guess you can search your heart and see how committed you are to her...
which may just be the crux of the problem,
she may sense you are not committed to her and she has pulled away already.
I hope love can last, that a young couple can work over the bump in the road,
and grow together as their love grows.
sounds like the bail crowd was right... if the breakup was any indication, the communication was as lacking as the intimacy
"making it work" would be a fine solution if there were kids or marriage to think about, but why go through all the frustration and work when there's probably someone more compatible for you out there?... it sounds like they were dealing with real deal breakers here
http://seanbriceart.com/
learning to communicate is something they could be concentrating on.
It depends on how committed they are.
Bailing is the easy way out in my opinion
Now they go their separate ways as the people they came to the relationship as.
I know nothing of facebook and usually think that if someone asks for help they truly need it
I'm from a different generation you know, my thinking is
try to be all you can be for your partner,
that in loving bonds, where the best sex is, much is learned.
These bonds may not always last forever but they are worth the effort
and when you leave you are better for it.
I also believe in soulmates but even there the work is never ending,
keeping love alive and communication flowing
I didn't see this but was that a unique way of getting back at you?
would that be public humiliation at it's finest?
sorry about that
I don't get how impersonal and personal the world is getting,
everyone caring yet not caring at the same time
hope you find true lasting love or whatever makes your heart happy
enjoy your youth!
Ditto!!
I bet she doesn't hate receiving it. You gotta do your part too, dude.
Pearl Jam bootlegs:
http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
man i'd set up camp down there if she let me.
thanks to all for comments and encouragement. but it ain't looking positive at this stage. she doesn't want to be with me at the moment so what can i do.
also to the poster who suggested she was trying to publicly humiliate me.... she broke up with me in the private chat section of facebook.... so it wasn't public at all, although it was still not very respectful.