Seinfeld "Sufferings"

Newch91

One of my favorite things about Jerry Stiller is when he looks up to remember his lines.

dcfaithful

YOU'RE NOT GIVING AWAY OUR WATER-PIK!!

dcfaithful

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make love to your mother. Move, woman.

Newch91

Mamasan23 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

What's taking so long in there? You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I'm back in 2 seconds.

Everything out of his mouth is gold...GOLD!!

Remember when him, Estelle, and George were in Monk's and Estelle complained about the draft and wanted to change seats and Frank said he didn't want to because he got a booth.

Newch91

Jerry! It's Frank Costanza! Mr. Steinbrenner is here, George is dead. Call me back!

GivenToJam88

FRANK (yelling): What the hell did you trade Jay Buener for?!? He had 30 home runs, and over 100 RBIs last year. He's got a rocket for an arm - - you don't know what the hell you're doin'!!

dcfaithful

Newch91 wrote:

Jerry! It's Frank Costanza! Mr. Steinbrenner is here, George is dead. Call me back!

Absolutely hilarious.

Newch91

dcfaithful wrote:

Newch91 wrote:

Jerry! It's Frank Costanza! Mr. Steinbrenner is here, George is dead. Call me back!

Absolutely hilarious.

I agree.

Newch91

YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME??

GivenToJam88

Newch91 wrote:

YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME??

You want piece of me? You got it!

GivenToJam88

ESTELLE: (screaming) Oh my God! (she enters holding a small packet) This was in
our bed.

FRANK: (taking the packet) What is this? (accusingly to George) A prophylactic
wrapper?!

ESTELLE: What is this doing on my bed?!

GEORGE: I don't know, uh...

JERRY: I'll see you later. (he leaves with unseemly haste)

FRANK: You were having sex on our bed?!

GEORGE: Yes!

ESTELLE: Who told you you could have sex in our bed?

GEORGE: (pleading) Well, my bed is too small.

FRANK: Your bed is too small? I'm gone two weeks and you turn our house into,
into Bourbon Street!

Newch91

GivenToJam88 wrote:

ESTELLE: (screaming) Oh my God! (she enters holding a small packet) This was in
our bed.

FRANK: (taking the packet) What is this? (accusingly to George) A prophylactic
wrapper?!

ESTELLE: What is this doing on my bed?!

GEORGE: I don't know, uh...

JERRY: I'll see you later. (he leaves with unseemly haste)

FRANK: You were having sex on our bed?!

GEORGE: Yes!

ESTELLE: Who told you you could have sex in our bed?

GEORGE: (pleading) Well, my bed is too small.

FRANK: Your bed is too small? I'm gone two weeks and you turn our house into,
into Bourbon Street!

afroannnie

Mamasan23 wrote:

Newch91 wrote:

Mamasan23 wrote:

That's it!! We're moving to Del Boca Vista!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frank Costanza, funniest TV dad ever.

You know about the cup sizes? You got the A, B, C, and the D. That's the biggest.

love him!

dcfaithful

Jerry: It was a 'thank you' card from Kristin because I'm doing the PBS drive.
I mean, how long am I supposed to keep it?

George: The rule is a minimum of two days.

Jerry: You making that up or do you know what you're talking about?

George: I'm making it up.

Jerry: I mean really, what's the point of saving it? I could see if I had a
mantel.

George: Oh, well, a mantel's a whole different story.

Jerry: Absolutely.

George: If my parents had a mantel, I might be a completely different person.

dcfaithful

The discussion between Jerry & George in the coffee shop, after the chess match, is probably one of the best.

http://seinfeld-episodes.blogspot.com/2 ... ement.html

"I'm much more comfortable criticizing people behind their backs."

Newch91

"2:00?? That's my whole afternoon! I was gonna go look for shoes!"

I have used this complaint before, just changing the time and replacing "look for shoes" with something else.

The Waiting Trophy Man

I love the Cigar Store Indian episode.

Kramer: "Hey Jerry, look what I got!" (and then he does that indian war cry) lol

Newch91

The Waiting Trophy Man wrote:

I love the Cigar Store Indian episode.

Kramer: "Hey Jerry, look what I got!" (and then he does that indian war cry) lol

I love that part, too.

dcfaithful

I had a quick thought this morning about the episode where Frank and Kramer cook for a large amount of people, and Frank has flashbacks to when he over peppered (?) the food while being the cook for his unit in Korea, and playing in the background is the music from Platoon.

GivenToJam88

dcfaithful wrote:

I had a quick thought this morning about the episode where Frank and Kramer cook for a large amount of people, and Frank has flashbacks to when he over peppered (?) the food while being the cook for his unit in Korea, and playing in the background is the music from Platoon.

Frank: Inchon, Korea, 1950. I was the best cook Uncle Sam ever saw, slinging
hash for the Fighting 103rd. As we marched north, our supply lines were getting
thin. One day a couple of GIs found a crate, inside were six hundred pounds of
prime Texas steer. At least it once was prime. The Use date was three weeks
past, but I was arrogant, I was brash, I thought if I used just the right
spices, cooked it long enough...

Kramer: What happened?

Frank: I went too far. I over seasoned it. Men were keeling over all around
me. I can still hear the retching, the screaming. I sent sixteen of my own men
to the latrines that night. They were just boys.

Kramer: Frank, you were a boy too. And it was war. It was a crazy time for
everyone.

Frank: Tell that to Bobby Colby. All that kid wanted to do was go home. Well
he went home alright, with a crater in his colon the size of a cutlet. Had to
sit him on a cork the eighteen-hour flight home!

Kramer: Frank, now listen to me. Two hundred Jewish singles need you. This is
your chance to make it all right again.

Frank: No. No, I'll never cook again! Never! Now get out of my house!! Get
out. Go.