Seinfeld "Sufferings"

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  • rollingsrollings unknownPosts: 7,104
    346228.jpg
  • normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool.Posts: 31,148
    tumblr_mlvtz6PkpK1qz581wo1_500.gif
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    norm wrote:
    tumblr_mlvtz6PkpK1qz581wo1_500.gif
    :lol:
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    Happy Birthday, Jerry! Hoping to see him live in the near future.
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Seattle, WAPosts: 31,013
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • ha-woh and welcome to movie phone!
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    The writing in this is top-notch and some of the best I've ever heard.

    [Setting: A photographer's studio]

    (George is holding out his hands while a man and woman marvel at them. A photographer is fooling around with a camera towards the right wall)

    MAN: I've never seen hands like these before..

    WOMAN: They're so soft and milky white.

    PHOTOGRAPHER: You know who's hands they remind me of? (Pauses for effect) Ray McKigney.

    (The woman nods as the man looks off into space)

    MAN: Ugh.. Ray.

    PHOTOGRAPHER: He was it.

    GEORGE: Who was he?

    PHOTOGRAPHER: The most exquisite hands you've ever seen.. Oh, he had it all.

    GEORGE: (Hands still out, even though they've stopped looking at them) What happened to him?

    (Obviously a touchy subject, the woman coyly walks over to the photographer, and they both occupy themselves. The man is left to tell George the answer to his question)

    MAN: (Clears throat) Tragic story, I'm afraid. He could've had any woman in the world.. but none could match the beauty of his own hand.. and that became his one true love..

    (Long pause)

    GEORGE: You mean, uh..?

    MAN: Yes. he was not.. master of his domain.

    GEORGE: (Makes a gesture saying he understands. The man nods) But how.. uh..?

    MAN: (Quick, to the point) The muscles.. became so strained with.. overuse, that eventually the hand locked into a deformed position, and he was left with nothing but a claw. (Holds hand up, displaying a claw-like shape) He traveled the world seeking a cure.. acupuncturists.. herbalists.. swamis.. nothing helped. Towards the end, his hands became so frozen the was unable to manipulate utensils, (Visibly disgusted by this last part) and was dependent on Cub Scouts to feed him. I hadn't seen another pair of hands like Ray McKigney's.. until today. You are his successor. (George looks down at his hands) I.. only hope you have a little more self-control.

    GEORGE: (Smiling to himself) You don't have to worry about me. (Nodding, gloating) I won a contest.

    (The man nods, unsure of what to say or do)

    PHOTOGRAPHER: Ok, let's get to work.

    (Scene ends)
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • Ledbetterman10Ledbetterman10 Posts: 13,953
    Listen to the bell, Grossbard. It tolls for thee.
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
  • George: I'm familiar with this syndrome; she's a two-face
    Jerry: like the Batman villain?
    George: if that helps you
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio FloridaPosts: 10,195
    Newch91 wrote:
    The writing in this is top-notch and some of the best I've ever heard.

    [Setting: A photographer's studio]

    (George is holding out his hands while a man and woman marvel at them. A photographer is fooling around with a camera towards the right wall)

    MAN: I've never seen hands like these before..

    WOMAN: They're so soft and milky white.

    PHOTOGRAPHER: You know who's hands they remind me of? (Pauses for effect) Ray McKigney.

    (The woman nods as the man looks off into space)

    MAN: Ugh.. Ray.

    PHOTOGRAPHER: He was it.

    GEORGE: Who was he?

    PHOTOGRAPHER: The most exquisite hands you've ever seen.. Oh, he had it all.

    GEORGE: (Hands still out, even though they've stopped looking at them) What happened to him?

    (Obviously a touchy subject, the woman coyly walks over to the photographer, and they both occupy themselves. The man is left to tell George the answer to his question)

    MAN: (Clears throat) Tragic story, I'm afraid. He could've had any woman in the world.. but none could match the beauty of his own hand.. and that became his one true love..

    (Long pause)

    GEORGE: You mean, uh..?

    MAN: Yes. he was not.. master of his domain.

    GEORGE: (Makes a gesture saying he understands. The man nods) But how.. uh..?

    MAN: (Quick, to the point) The muscles.. became so strained with.. overuse, that eventually the hand locked into a deformed position, and he was left with nothing but a claw. (Holds hand up, displaying a claw-like shape) He traveled the world seeking a cure.. acupuncturists.. herbalists.. swamis.. nothing helped. Towards the end, his hands became so frozen the was unable to manipulate utensils, (Visibly disgusted by this last part) and was dependent on Cub Scouts to feed him. I hadn't seen another pair of hands like Ray McKigney's.. until today. You are his successor. (George looks down at his hands) I.. only hope you have a little more self-control.

    GEORGE: (Smiling to himself) You don't have to worry about me. (Nodding, gloating) I won a contest.

    (The man nods, unsure of what to say or do)

    PHOTOGRAPHER: Ok, let's get to work.

    (Scene ends)

    :D That one was great.
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • Ledbetterman10Ledbetterman10 Posts: 13,953
    Ahhhh great soak, man. The soak of the year!
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
  • The JugglerThe Juggler Behind that bush over there.Posts: 37,713
    Ahhhh great soak, man. The soak of the year!

    awww....look at the little bastard!
    chinese-happy.jpg
  • Ledbetterman10Ledbetterman10 Posts: 13,953
    Ahhhh great soak, man. The soak of the year!

    awww....look at the little bastard!

    You are mommy's little bastard aren't ya??
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    George: What kind of hair?

    Jerry: You know, long dark hair.

    George: Flowing?

    Jerry: Flowing?

    George: Is it flowing? I like flowing, cascading hair. Thick lustrous hair is very important to me.

    Jerry: 'Thick lustrous hair is very important to me,' is that what you said?

    George: Yeah, that's right.

    Jerry: Just clarifying.

    George: Let me ask you this. If you stick your hand in the hair is it easy to get it out?

    Jerry: Do you want to be able to get it out or do you want to not be able to get it out?

    George: I'd like to be able to get it out.

    Jerry: I think you'll get it out.

    George: What about the skin? I need a good cheek, I like a good cheek.

    Jerry: She's got a fine cheek.

    George: Is there a pinkish hue?

    Jerry: A pinkish hue?

    George: Yes, a rosy glow.

    Jerry: There's a hue. She's got great eyebrows, women kill to have her eyebrows.

    George: Who cares about eyebrows? Is she sweet? I like sweet. But not too sweet, you could throw up from that.

    Jerry: I don't think you'll throw up. *She* likes to throw up.
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • Ledbetterman10Ledbetterman10 Posts: 13,953
    tumblr_lw84b6TxqW1qg0r1ro1_500.jpg
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    Listen to the bell, Grossbard. It tolls for thee.
    Great line, great episode. It gave me one of my favorite jingles to annoy my wife with:

    I'd like to stop at the duty-free shop.
    I'd like to stop at the duty-free shop.
    I'D LIKE TO STOP AT THE DUTY-FREE SHOP.
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • dcfaithful wrote:
    Listen to the bell, Grossbard. It tolls for thee.
    Great line, great episode. It gave me one of my favorite jingles to annoy my wife with:

    I'd like to stop at the duty-free shop.
    I'd like to stop at the duty-free shop.
    I'D LIKE TO STOP AT THE DUTY-FREE SHOP.

    My wife and I actually sing that one together!
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • I'm reborn! I'm like a phoenix.....rising.....over Arizona!
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • dankinddankind I am not your foot. Posts: 16,075
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • Ledbetterman10Ledbetterman10 Posts: 13,953
    -My father was a cook in the Korean War. Something...happened. Ever since then, ya can't get him near a kitchen.

    -Shell-shocked?

    -Oh yeah.....but that has nothing to do with it.
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
  • afroannnieafroannnie Posts: 12,995
    I've posted this one before..now I've found someone who is just as bad as me...so now we're building a huge bookcase to house all our "trophies" :D


    "What's the obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies" :lol::lol:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K9K7gUyMWc
    Show #13 was a lucky one for me....
  • Ledbetterman10Ledbetterman10 Posts: 13,953
    Wilhelm? My name...is Tanya.
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
  • LloydXmasLloydXmas Posts: 7,539
    Carl Fargman
  • afroannnieafroannnie Posts: 12,995
    Wilhelm? My name...is Tanya.

    :lol::lol:

    GEORGE: Him you brainwashed! What's he got that I don't have?!
    Show #13 was a lucky one for me....
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    What kind of name is Todd Gack, anyway?
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • 8181 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not.Posts: 58,276
    "Was that wrong?" as George Costanza asked his boss after a desktop rendezvous with the cleaning woman. "Should I have not done that? If I had known that sort of thing was frowned upon ..."
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    81 wrote:
    "Was that wrong?" as George Costanza asked his boss after a desktop rendezvous with the cleaning woman. "Should I have not done that? If I had known that sort of thing was frowned upon ..."

    Jerry: You had sex with the cleaning woman on your desk? Who are you, how did you do that?

    George: Hennigans. I was there sitting in the office and the cleaning woman comes in. I've always been attracted to cleaning women. Cleaning women, chambermaids.

    Jerry: Yeah chambermaids, I'm attracted to them too.

    George: Why is that?

    Jerry: It's a woman in your room. So go ahead.

    George: So she starts vaccuming, back and forth, back and forth, her hips swivelling, her breasts, uh... (trying to think of a word)

    Jerry: Convulsing?

    George: Convulsing?

    Jerry: I don't know, I'm trying to help you.

    George: Then I asked her if she wanted a drink.

    Jerry: You don't drink.

    George: I know but I couldn't think of anything else to say to her.

    Jerry: So you started drinking.

    George: So we started drinking, and I'll tell you I don't know if it was the alcohol or the ammonia, but the next think I knew she was mopping the floor with me.

    Jerry: So how was it?

    George: Well the sex was okay, but I threw up from the Hennigan's.

    Jerry: Good thing the cleaning lady was there.
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    19301d1364270612-hoibergs-sons-birthday-cake-thats-gold-jerry-gold-kenny-bania-seinfeld-quote.gif
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool.Posts: 31,148
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
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