Seinfeld "Sufferings"

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  • iamicaiamica Posts: 2,628
    A George divided against himself cannot stand!
    Chicago 2000 : Chicago 2003 : Chicago 2006 : Summerfest 2006 : Lollapalooza 2007 : Chicago 2009 : Noblesville (Indy) 2010 : PJ20 (East Troy) 2011 : Wrigley Field 2013 : Milwaukee (Yield) 2014 : Wrigley Field 2016
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    George: Siena, I love you.

    Siena: Yeah, I know. I heard you the first time.

    George: Yeah. Just confirming.
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
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    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
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    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    I don't remember seeing this Frank Costanza scene posted before.


    [Setting: The Coffee shop]

    (George and his father, Frank, are sitting at a booth)

    FRANK: George, as you may be aware, your mother and I are not moving to Del Boca Vista, Florida.

    GEORGE: (Resenting the fact. Nodding) I am aware.

    FRANK: So, I was wondering, would it be okay if I turned your room into a billiard parlor?

    GEORGE: A billiard parlor?

    FRANK: Regulation table, the hi-fi, maybe even a bar.. Give it real authenticity..

    (Elaine enters. George spots her in mid-sentence)

    GEORGE: Well, that's.. Elaine!

    ELAINE: Oh, hi, Frank.

    GEORGE: (Sliding over to make room for her) Sit down. Join us, please.

    ELAINE: (Trying to come up with an excuse not to sit with them) Actually, I gotta get to the.. uh.. thing.

    GEORGE: (Somewhat stern) Oh, the thing's cancelled. Sit down.

    ELAINE: (Giving up) Okay.. (Sits, George laughs) So.. (Trying to think up something to talk about) Frank, did George ever show you that photo?

    GEORGE: (Confused) What photo?

    ELAINE: You know, the photo I took in Tuscany of the little man in front of the sign that said "Costanza"?

    FRANK: (Interested) There's a Costanza in Tuscany? (Elaine nods) Did he look like me? Did you talk to him?

    ELAINE: I didn't talk to anyone - I was just walking by, and I saw the sign, and I thought George might get a kick out of it.

    FRANK: I gotta get that picture - it could be my cousin, Carlo.

    ELAINE: Who is that?

    GEORGE: (Muttering out, not really wanting to talk about his family) When the Costanzas came here, one brother stayed behind.

    FRANK: I played with him every day until the age of four - and then we separated.

    ELAINE: So, you weren't born here?

    FRANK: No. That's why I can never be president.. It always irked me. That's why, even at an early age, I had no interest in politics. I refuse to vote. (Yelling out) They don't want me, I don't want them!

    GEORGE: I don't know what you're getting all riled up about. There are probably a million Costanzas-

    FRANK: (Cutting him off) Don't bring me down. (To Elaine) Do you have another copy of that photo?

    ELAINE: No, I, I don't. But.. Well, the Maestro might.

    FRANK: The Maestro? What Maestro?

    ELAINE: He's this guy that I went to Tuscany with. He's a great guy, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable calling him.

    GEORGE: Really? Why?

    ELAINE: (Explaining) Because he hasn't called me since we got back.. I spilled wine on his 8 by 10 photo of one of his favorite Italian opera stars.

    GEORGE: Who?

    ELAINE: You know the Three Tenors?

    GEORGE: Yeah.. (Trying to remember) Poverotti.. Domingo.. and.. uh.. the other guy.

    ELAINE: (Nodding) The other guy.

    (Scene ends)
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • LloydXmasLloydXmas Posts: 7,539
    Vincent, gene, Milosh and Jerk Store. has to be a top 5 episode.
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    LloydXmas wrote:
    Vincent, gene, Milosh and Jerk Store. has to be a top 5 episode.
    I have a Kramer pick.
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    Newch91 wrote:
    I don't remember seeing this Frank Costanza scene posted before.


    [Setting: The Coffee shop]

    (George and his father, Frank, are sitting at a booth)

    FRANK: George, as you may be aware, your mother and I are not moving to Del Boca Vista, Florida.

    GEORGE: (Resenting the fact. Nodding) I am aware.

    FRANK: So, I was wondering, would it be okay if I turned your room into a billiard parlor?

    GEORGE: A billiard parlor?

    FRANK: Regulation table, the hi-fi, maybe even a bar.. Give it real authenticity..

    (Elaine enters. George spots her in mid-sentence)

    GEORGE: Well, that's.. Elaine!

    ELAINE: Oh, hi, Frank.

    GEORGE: (Sliding over to make room for her) Sit down. Join us, please.

    ELAINE: (Trying to come up with an excuse not to sit with them) Actually, I gotta get to the.. uh.. thing.

    GEORGE: (Somewhat stern) Oh, the thing's cancelled. Sit down.

    ELAINE: (Giving up) Okay.. (Sits, George laughs) So.. (Trying to think up something to talk about) Frank, did George ever show you that photo?

    GEORGE: (Confused) What photo?

    ELAINE: You know, the photo I took in Tuscany of the little man in front of the sign that said "Costanza"?

    FRANK: (Interested) There's a Costanza in Tuscany? (Elaine nods) Did he look like me? Did you talk to him?

    ELAINE: I didn't talk to anyone - I was just walking by, and I saw the sign, and I thought George might get a kick out of it.

    FRANK: I gotta get that picture - it could be my cousin, Carlo.

    ELAINE: Who is that?

    GEORGE: (Muttering out, not really wanting to talk about his family) When the Costanzas came here, one brother stayed behind.

    FRANK: I played with him every day until the age of four - and then we separated.

    ELAINE: So, you weren't born here?

    FRANK: No. That's why I can never be president.. It always irked me. That's why, even at an early age, I had no interest in politics. I refuse to vote. (Yelling out) They don't want me, I don't want them!

    GEORGE: I don't know what you're getting all riled up about. There are probably a million Costanzas-

    FRANK: (Cutting him off) Don't bring me down. (To Elaine) Do you have another copy of that photo?

    ELAINE: No, I, I don't. But.. Well, the Maestro might.

    FRANK: The Maestro? What Maestro?

    ELAINE: He's this guy that I went to Tuscany with. He's a great guy, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable calling him.

    GEORGE: Really? Why?

    ELAINE: (Explaining) Because he hasn't called me since we got back.. I spilled wine on his 8 by 10 photo of one of his favorite Italian opera stars.

    GEORGE: Who?

    ELAINE: You know the Three Tenors?

    GEORGE: Yeah.. (Trying to remember) Poverotti.. Domingo.. and.. uh.. the other guy.

    ELAINE: (Nodding) The other guy.

    (Scene ends)

    Is this from "The Maestro"? Damn, I gotta watch this again. :lol:
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    I think so. It was the episode with the pool table.
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    I think so. It was the episode with the pool table.
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • HeisenbergHeisenberg Posts: 4,957
    "You ask me here to have lunch, tell me you slept with Elaine and then say you're not in the mood for details? Now you listen to me. I want details and I want them right now. I don't have a job, I've got no place to go...you're not in the mood? WELL YOU GET IN THE MOOD!"
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    JERRY: Really. So uh, what do you do down there all day?

    KRAMER: T.C.B., You know, takin' care o' business.
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • afroannnieafroannnie Posts: 12,995
    dcfaithful wrote:
    JERRY: Really. So uh, what do you do down there all day?

    KRAMER: T.C.B., You know, takin' care o' business.

    You know this is my crazy time of year?!


    :lol::lol:
    Show #13 was a lucky one for me....
  • Ledbetterman10Ledbetterman10 Posts: 16,860
    "Looks like a frog"
    seinfeldthefrogger.jpg
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2, 2021: Sea. Hear. Now. 2022: Camden, 2024Philly 2

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
  • Ledbetterman10Ledbetterman10 Posts: 16,860
    "Looks like a frog"
    seinfeldthefrogger.jpg

    "So do you"
    272972190M_o.jpg
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2, 2021: Sea. Hear. Now. 2022: Camden, 2024Philly 2

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    seinfeldmervgriffin.jpg
  • Leezestarr313Leezestarr313 Posts: 14,352
    GEORGE: So she coughed.
    JERRY: Coughing... naked... It's a turn-off, man.
    GEORGE: Everything goes with naked.
    JERRY: When you cough, there are thousands of unseen muscles that suddenly spring into action. It's like watching that fat guy catch a cannonball in his stomach in slow motion.
    GEORGE: Oh, you spoiled, spoiled man. Do you now how much mental energy I expend just trying to picture women naked?
    JERRY: But the thing you don't realize is that there's good naked and bad naked. Naked hair brushing, good; naked crouching, bad.

    That was such a good episode! Also with Kramer trying to focus in the shower and that germophobe woman at Elaine's office :lol::lol:
  • afroannnieafroannnie Posts: 12,995
    GEORGE: So she coughed.
    JERRY: Coughing... naked... It's a turn-off, man.
    GEORGE: Everything goes with naked.
    JERRY: When you cough, there are thousands of unseen muscles that suddenly spring into action. It's like watching that fat guy catch a cannonball in his stomach in slow motion.
    GEORGE: Oh, you spoiled, spoiled man. Do you now how much mental energy I expend just trying to picture women naked?
    JERRY: But the thing you don't realize is that there's good naked and bad naked. Naked hair brushing, good; naked crouching, bad.

    That was such a good episode! Also with Kramer trying to focus in the shower and that germophobe woman at Elaine's office :lol::lol:


    Kramer: "Oh, just cooking up a little thank you for Puddy. Hey, how do you
    make those radish roses?"
    Jerry: "Insert a knife into the center and twist. Then, to make it bloom,
    soak it in water for thirty to forty minutes."
    Kramer: "No problem there.
    Show #13 was a lucky one for me....
  • LloydXmasLloydXmas Posts: 7,539
    Toby the heckler :lol: :x :lol::lol:
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    LloydXmas wrote:
    Toby the heckler :lol: :x :lol::lol:
    :lol: I absolutely love that episode. Probably in my top 5.

    Firefighter: (to George) How do you live with yourself?
    George: It's not easy. :lol:
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • HeisenbergHeisenberg Posts: 4,957
    YES! the "George is dead, call me back" episode is on!!!
  • HeisenbergHeisenberg Posts: 4,957
    "Its lewd, lacivious, salacious, outrageous"
  • FenwayFaithfulFenwayFaithful Posts: 8,626
    The Bottle Depository Parts 1 & 2. JFK golf clubs. Elaine outbids Sue Ellen. Jerry says, "And I'm here to catch a glimpse....of high society." Classic.
    "FF, I've heard the droning about the Sawx being the baby dolls. Yeah, I get it, you guys invented baseball and suffered forever. I get it." -JearlPam0925
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    The Bottle Depository Parts 1 & 2. JFK golf clubs. Elaine outbids Sue Ellen. Jerry says, "And I'm here to catch a glimpse....of high society." Classic.
    I love the way Elaine says "fifteen-thousand!"
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    'why are you returning this?'


    'spite'
  • afroannnieafroannnie Posts: 12,995
    norm wrote:
    'why are you returning this?'


    'spite'

    "I'm sorry sir, but I don't think we can refund an item for spite"
    Show #13 was a lucky one for me....
  • vant0037vant0037 Posts: 6,113
    "The Serenity Now" was on local TV last night. "Mr. Tomasulo? Wanna buy a computer? Why not?" "Costanza you're white hot!" "You're not giving away our water pick!" "Hoochimama hoochimama!"

    George: what about all those computers Lloyd Braun sold?
    Frank: he was crazy. His phone wasn't even plugged in. He just liked ringing that bell.
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  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    Jon Voight
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • HeisenbergHeisenberg Posts: 4,957
    Newch91 wrote:
    Jon Voight

    The periodontist?
  • Newch91Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    Always cracks me. :lol::lol:

    [Jerry's Apartment, 5A. Morty and Helen are packing suitcases.]

    Jerry: Are you sure you can't stay longer?

    Morty: No, we just came for the funeral. `

    Helen: Poor Marvin Kessler, he went too early.

    Jerry: He was 96 years old.

    Morty: That had nothing to do with it, the man was out of shape.

    Helen: That's why we joined a program. We walk once around the block three times a week.

    Morty: And every morning I eat a plum.

    Jerry: Well, what ever you do, you're wearing me out.

    Helen: What about you?

    Morty: Yeah, looks like you're getting a little spare tire there, tiger.

    Jerry: Really?

    [Kramer comes in]

    Kramer: Hey, Seinfelds!

    Morty: Hey, Mr. Kramer!

    Kramer: How long are you staying?

    Helen: We just came down for a funeral.

    Kramer: Oh yeah, yeah I heard, Marvin Kessler. Boy, that makes you think. If he could go...

    Kramer's last line always kills me. :lol::lol::lol:
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    vant0037 wrote:
    "You're not giving away our water pick!"

    Classic line. "The Serenity Now" might be one of my absolute favorite Seinfeld episodes.
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    i woke up in the Hudson River in a SACK!!!


    the way Kramer says sack kills me :lol::lol:
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