Seinfeld "Sufferings"

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  • We had a funny guy with us in korea, tail gunner. They blew his brains out all over the pacific. There's nothing funny about that.
  • RygarRygar Posts: 8,685
    never a fan

    and I share the same name as the show

    weird
    You've changed, you used to be cool!
    want a junior mint?

    what do you mean you dont like junior mints?!?!?!?!?

    Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint-- it's delicious!
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    broccoli.jpg

    "VILE WEED!!!" - Newman
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • salsa?
    seltzer?
    salsa ?
    seltzer?
    Mansfield, MA - Jul 02, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 03, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 11, 2003; Boston, MA - Sep 29, 2004; Reading, PA - Oct 01, 2004; Hartford, CT - May 13, 2006; Boston, MA - May 24, 2006; Boston, MA - May 25, 2006; Hartford, CT - Jun 27, 2008; Mansfield, MA - Jun 28, 2008; Mansfield, MA - June 30, 2008; Hartford, CT - May 15, 2010; Boston, MA - May 17, 2010; [EV - Providence, RI - June 15, 2011; EV - Hartford, CT - June 18, 2011]; Worcester, MA - Oct. 15, 2013; Worcester, MA - Oct. 16, 2013; Hartford, CT - Oct. 25, 2013; Boston, MA -  August 5, 2016; Boston, MA - August 7, 2016...



  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    {resisting all jokes...resist...look away....there is no Seinfeld thread....}
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    dcfaithful wrote:
    Newman

    we named our cat Newman. acts just like the tv character
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • 81 wrote:
    dcfaithful wrote:
    Newman

    we named our cat Newman. acts just like the tv character

    he's a fat bastard w/ a sweating problem?
    crazy cat :lol:

    has he ever said this:

    I find you extremely ugly.
    You emit a foul and unpleasant odor.
    I loathe you
    Mansfield, MA - Jul 02, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 03, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 11, 2003; Boston, MA - Sep 29, 2004; Reading, PA - Oct 01, 2004; Hartford, CT - May 13, 2006; Boston, MA - May 24, 2006; Boston, MA - May 25, 2006; Hartford, CT - Jun 27, 2008; Mansfield, MA - Jun 28, 2008; Mansfield, MA - June 30, 2008; Hartford, CT - May 15, 2010; Boston, MA - May 17, 2010; [EV - Providence, RI - June 15, 2011; EV - Hartford, CT - June 18, 2011]; Worcester, MA - Oct. 15, 2013; Worcester, MA - Oct. 16, 2013; Hartford, CT - Oct. 25, 2013; Boston, MA -  August 5, 2016; Boston, MA - August 7, 2016...



  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    81 wrote:
    dcfaithful wrote:
    Newman

    we named our cat Newman. acts just like the tv character

    he's a fat bastard w/ a sweating problem?
    crazy cat :lol:

    has he ever said this:

    I find you extremely ugly.
    You emit a foul and unpleasant odor.
    I loathe you


    no, but he emits a foul and unpleasant odor every now and than....and he is fat and lazy
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    81 wrote:

    no, but he emits a foul and unpleasant odor every now and than....and he is fat and lazy

    Does he also despise Keith Hernandez? and spit magic loogey's?
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    [Jerry's Apartment]

    JERRY: Hellooo Newman.

    KRAMER: I hate KEITH HERNANDEZ - hate him.

    NEWMAN: I despise him.

    ELAINE: Why?

    NEWMAN: Why? I'll tell you why...

    KRAMER: Let me tell it ..

    NEWMAN: No, you can't tell it ..

    KRAMER: You always tell it ..

    NEWMAN: All right, tell it.

    KRAMER: Ja ja ja - just tell it

    NEWMAN: June 14, 1987.... Mets Phillies. We're enjoying a beautiful afternoon
    in the right field stands when a crucial Hernandez error to a five run Phillies
    ninth. Cost the Mets the game.

    KRAMER: Our day was ruined. There was a lot of people, you know, they were
    waiting by the player's parking lot. Now we're coming down the ramp ... [cut
    to film of the day - like the Zabruter film - with the Umbrella man and
    everything - Oh so brilliant parody!!!] ... Newman was in front of me. Keith
    was coming toward us, as he passes Newman turns and says, " Nice game pretty
    boy.". Keith continued past us up the ramp.

    NEWMAN: A second later, something happened that changed us in a deep and
    profound way front that day forward.

    ELAINE: What was it?

    KRAMER: He spit on us.... and I screamed out, "I'm hit!"

    NEWMAN: Then I turned and the spit ricochet of him and it hit me.

    ELAINE: Wow! What a story.

    JERRY: Unfortunately the immutable laws of physics contradict the whole premise
    of your account. Allow me to reconstruct this if I may for Miss Benes as
    I've heard this story a number of times.

    JERRY: Newman, Kramer, if you'll indulge me. According to your story Keith
    passes you and starts walking up the ramp then you say you were struck on
    the right temple. The spit then proceeds to ricochet off the temple
    striking Newman between the third and forth rib. The spit then cam off
    the rib turned and hit Newman in the right wrist causing him to drop his
    baseball cap. The spit then splashed off the wrist, Pauses In mid air
    mind you- makes a left turn and lands on Newman's left thigh. That is one
    magic luggie.

    NEWMAN: Well that's the way it happened.

    JERRY: What happened to your head when you got hit?

    KRAMER: Well. uh, well my head went back and to the left

    JERRY: Again

    KRAMER: Back and to the left

    JERRY: Back and to the left Back and to the left

    ELAINE: So, what are you saying?

    JERRY: I am saying that the spit could not have come from behind ... that there had to have been
    a second spitter behind the bushes on the gravelly road. If the spitter was behind you as you claimed
    that would have caused your head to pitch forward.

    ELAINE: So the spit could have only come from the front and to the right.

    JERRY: But that is not what they would have you believe.

    NEWMAN: I'm leavin'. Jerry's a nut. [Exits]

    KRAMER: Wait, wait, [Exits]

    JERRY: The sad thing is we may never know the real truth.
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    ^^ Okay, so I forgot the exact details of the story.

    But your cat probably still despises Keith, right?
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • back and to the left, back and to the left
    that shit kills me :lol::lol:
    doesnt jerry have a cane or something that he uses
    makes me think of JFK movie
    Mansfield, MA - Jul 02, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 03, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 11, 2003; Boston, MA - Sep 29, 2004; Reading, PA - Oct 01, 2004; Hartford, CT - May 13, 2006; Boston, MA - May 24, 2006; Boston, MA - May 25, 2006; Hartford, CT - Jun 27, 2008; Mansfield, MA - Jun 28, 2008; Mansfield, MA - June 30, 2008; Hartford, CT - May 15, 2010; Boston, MA - May 17, 2010; [EV - Providence, RI - June 15, 2011; EV - Hartford, CT - June 18, 2011]; Worcester, MA - Oct. 15, 2013; Worcester, MA - Oct. 16, 2013; Hartford, CT - Oct. 25, 2013; Boston, MA -  August 5, 2016; Boston, MA - August 7, 2016...



  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    81 wrote:

    KRAMER: He spit on us.... and I screamed out, "I'm hit!"

    Easily my favorite part of the scene. The way he screams that is fucking hilarious. :lol:
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    fyi, the mets played the pirates on june 14th of 1987

    hernandez went 2-4 with 2 runs and two rbi's

    http://www.baseball-almanac.com/box-sco ... 8706140PIT
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    In spirit of "The Jimmy" episode:

    dcfaithful likes this thread.

    dcfaithful says keep it going.

    dcfaithful is sick of work. :(
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    81 wrote:
    fyi, the mets played the pirates on june 14th of 1987

    hernandez went 2-4 with 2 runs and two rbi's

    http://www.baseball-almanac.com/box-sco ... 8706140PIT

    Smoking baby for the WIN! :thumbup:
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    back and to the left, back and to the left
    that shit kills me :lol::lol:
    doesnt jerry have a cane or something that he uses
    makes me think of JFK movie


    from the site i lifted teh sript

    [THE BRILLIANCE OF THIS SCENE IS THAT IT IS AN EXACT PARODY OF KEVIN COSTNER'S COURTROOM SCENE IN
    THE FILM JFK - AND WAYNE KNIGHT PLAYED THE SAME POSITION IN BOTH!!!]
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    festivus.jpg
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    From The Red Dot, hilarious...Kramer that is:


    At Jerry's apartment.

    Jerry: Yeah so?

    Elaine: He's acting very strangely. I think he started drinking again.

    Jerry: Oh boy, can you smell it?

    Elaine: No. I can't smell it.

    Jerry: Well if you can't smell it then he hasn't been drinking.

    Elaine: You don't always smell someone from a drink.

    Jerry: Yes you do.

    Elaine: What about one drink? Would you smell it from one drink?

    Jerry: Yes you would.

    Kramer enters

    Jerry: I'll prove it. Would you do me a favor?

    Kramer: Okay.

    Jerry: Would you take a drink and let us smell you?

    Kramer: You can smell me without the drink.

    Elaine: I suspect that this guy I'm seeing might be drinking but I can't smell it.

    Kramer: Okay, well what am I drinking? What do you got?

    Jerry: I got a bottle of scotch my uncle gave me. It's Hennigans. It's been here for two years. I've been using it as a paint thinner.

    Kramer drinks.

    Kramer: All right.

    Elaine and Jerry lean up really close to him.

    Jerry: I don't smell anything.

    Elaine: Maybe we're too close to the bottle.

    Jerry's buzzer buzzes.

    Jerry: Yeah.

    George: (over the speaker) It's George.

    Jerry: Come on up.

    Kramer: That is *damn* good scotch. I could do a commercial for this stuff. Mmmmm, boy that Hennigans goes down smooth. And afterwords you don't even smell. That's right folks. I just had three shots of Hennigans and I don't smell. Imagine, you can walk around drunk all day. That's Hennigans, the no-smell, no-tell scotch.


    George: Hello everybody.

    Kramer: Hey. (snuggling really close to George) I'm going to tell you what I think. I know you don't care what I think, but I'm going to tell you. I think that you are terrific.

    George: (uncomfortablly) Thank you.

    Elaine: Hey what's that?

    George: It's an early Christmas present.

    Elaine: Christmas present? For who?

    George: For you.

    Elaine: *gasp* (pushing George) Get out of here.

    Kramer: Say you got a big job interview, and you're a little nervous. Well throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret. (singing) h-e-double n...

    Jerry: Kramer. Yeah that'll do.
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • whose the man in the cape??

    cape-706048.jpg

    its so funny to me to watch these shows now, after having seen curb your enthusiasm...and realizing how much Larry David is in Seinfeld...
    Man in the Cape
    Steinbrenner
    one of the guys in the boat when the NBC guy who has a crush on Elaine went to sea w. Greenpeace (just noticed that one the other day - you only see the back of his head, but its deff. his voice).
    Mansfield, MA - Jul 02, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 03, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 11, 2003; Boston, MA - Sep 29, 2004; Reading, PA - Oct 01, 2004; Hartford, CT - May 13, 2006; Boston, MA - May 24, 2006; Boston, MA - May 25, 2006; Hartford, CT - Jun 27, 2008; Mansfield, MA - Jun 28, 2008; Mansfield, MA - June 30, 2008; Hartford, CT - May 15, 2010; Boston, MA - May 17, 2010; [EV - Providence, RI - June 15, 2011; EV - Hartford, CT - June 18, 2011]; Worcester, MA - Oct. 15, 2013; Worcester, MA - Oct. 16, 2013; Hartford, CT - Oct. 25, 2013; Boston, MA -  August 5, 2016; Boston, MA - August 7, 2016...



  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    (Elaine enters)

    Elaine: Hey.

    Jerry: Hey.

    George: Hey, how ya doing?!?

    Elaine: Better, now.

    Jerry: yeah, what happened?

    Elaine: You know Sue Ellen Mishke?

    Jerry: Sue Ellen Mishke?

    Elaine: Yeah, the woman I grew up with in Maryland, she moved here last

    year...

    Jerry: Sounds familiar.

    Elaine: The heiress to the O'Henry candy bar fortune--

    Jerry: Oh, yeah, you mentioned her.

    Elaine: Yes. I ran into her today. This woman has never, not once,
    ever, as long as I have known her, worn a bra.

    George: Ah, that is disgusting--

    Jerry: That is just shameless, I don't know, There's no--

    George: The woman's a pig, what wrong with her--

    Jerry: It's wrong, it's rude, and it's--

    George: It's disgusting--

    Elaine (getting up to leave): Alright, there's no---

    George: Come on! Come-on.

    Jerry: We're only kidding!

    Elaine: You don't understand. See, she hasn't changed at all. She
    stole my boyfriend when I was in high school. I was at this party, and
    I was dating this really cute guy, his name was Tom Cosley, by the way,
    and she goes walking by, in this little floozy outfit, and he follows
    her, right out the door!

    Jerry (excited): She's your Lex Luthor!

    Elaine: Her birthday's comin' up, so I decided to get her a little
    present.

    Jerry: What are you going to get her?

    Elaine: A very traditional, a very supportive, brazier.

    Jerry: There's nothing subtle about that.

    George: No, no, she might just think its a gift.

    Jerry: Have I ever bought you a jock strap as a gift?
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    81 wrote:
    dcfaithful wrote:
    Newman

    we named our cat Newman. acts just like the tv character

    My cat's name is......Shmoopy...pick him up and he'll wrap his arms around your neck and drool all over your face.
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • Looks like a frog......

    a-fbktgqcqy.jpg

    So do you.
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2, 2021: Sea. Hear. Now. 2022: Camden, 2024Philly 2

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    4and20 wrote:
    81 wrote:
    dcfaithful wrote:
    Newman

    we named our cat Newman. acts just like the tv character

    My cat's name is......Shmoopy...pick him up and he'll wrap his arms around your neck and drool all over your face.


    i love you shmoopy

    i love you shmoopy
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • Funny thing about this photo. We were at the beach and there was this dumb looking guy near by. When he went in for a swim, my sons and I took all his stuff and threw it in the ocean! What a pear-shaped loser!

    4770469585_6df2b3516d.jpg
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2, 2021: Sea. Hear. Now. 2022: Camden, 2024Philly 2

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    :):lol:
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • rival.rival. Posts: 7,775
    without question, the greatest clip in seinfeld history:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkpvON6IpNs

    "you're batman!"
  • Georges obsessions with wanting to be an architect or marine biologist were always so funny to me. Especially when he created aliases like Art Vandalay to go with it.
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    I was living the dream. I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery.
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