oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
A good friend told me before I got married to make sure you are friends first and not getting married out of lust,
and to continue to nurture that friendship just as much as you nurture the relationship.
:thumbup:
excellent advice!
the initial attraction between my husband and myself was pure lust. however, we dated off and on for 5 years before marriage....and in that time became the best of friends too. it has only deepened with time, and has most definitely served us well thru all the trials and tribulations of life in general, and together.
i was just going off what decides2dream said about lust. kinda
i found i can love somebody but later on down the road if i can't respect him(because of his actions) then the love goes right out the door. that's just me thou.
*~Pearl Jam will be blasted from speakers until morale improves~*
I would like to throw into this discussion some Biological reasons why Men and women cheat.
At 24yr a males' LIBIDO kicks in, but.......a womens' LIBIDO does not kick in until she is around 35 years old...... so a same age relationship is already out of synchronisation.
When a Woman is ovulating, her desire for sex is overwelming, all she wants is to copulate to fertilise her eggs, hence she is receptive to advances of the sexual sort, and so she may cheat.
Also, when a woman is ovulating, her perception of a handsome male changes from a normal, everyday male, to a male who is tall, Strong, and determined. Us females have an underlining biological attraction toward certain men during this monthly cycle, we become attracted to someone other than our everyday partner, and so she may cheat.
For every orgasm we have, our desire for more builds...So for all those women who pretended to have an orgasm, a male actually did, hence he has a bigger sexual drive, wanting more and WILL be asked for it elsewhere.
And then we have the people who throw themselves at Married people......These people don't want a commitment and love the chase, and meanwhile, the person getting chased feels the excitement on being desired, and she may cheat.
The above may be an explaination as to why people find themselves in an " One thing led to another " scenario, and hence people " cheat".
This may be a stupid post as I've never been married but:
I think another reason why there are so many divorces is that people simply don't take marriage seriously...I think people just enter marriage assuming that "Hey, if it doesn't work out...I'll just get divorced." Which in my opinion should definitely not be a thought when getting married. If two people aren't willing to go above and beyond to make a marriage work, then they shouldn't sign the papers and enter the deal.
I understand sometimes it truly was the wrong decision and divorce happens...but I think there is a fine line between an honestly not working marriage and two people who just aren't willing to try hard enough.
Again, that is just the opinion of someone who has never been married, but witnessed some divorces..
See, this is where it becomes the woman's fault.
Men get pushed into marriage, despite the fact that the divorce thought was present.
They have to come to terms with the typical threat: "if you won't put a ring on my finger, we obviously aren't going anywhere, so we should split".
(kidding with the blame comment - I'm sure men do it too, but I've never known one to push for marriage, with the female bein the cautious one)
Men are not meant to be with one woman. How many mammals can you name that mate for life? Not many. Well, men are just slightly less furry.
Some foul mate for life. That's sweet.
Cheating sounds like they are being dishonest in cards. Women "cheat" just as much as men.
Western culture has invented this whole problem. Marriage is a farce.
i agree with this.
glad you typed it out because i'm lazy.
as for women being pushy. i agree with that too.
i think if it were up to men to figure out when women should be having babies, there wouldn't be very many kids around.
*~Pearl Jam will be blasted from speakers until morale improves~*
What if it was phrased like this?
No man likes a nag.
My parents were divorced when I was 12.
I’m not blaming this one small thing but even at that young age I noticed my mom bugged my dad a lot.
But maybe she bugged him because he was a lazyass. ‘do it and I won’t have to nag’
I will say one of the things I remember my dad saying to me when I was young is Nobody likes a nag. That’s stayed with me. I’m not married. I give advice to my guy that 70% percent of the times he ignores. I figure hell we’re not married let him fall on his face. So while he continues not to take my advice, I don’t really care because we’re not married. (well it’s aggravating. But at least his choices don’t effect me much because we aren’t married) And if I find myself sounding like a broken record, I shut up real quick and think of what my dad told me. lol! But I also think of how stubborn/lazy my dad and my guy is and am glad I’m not married.
As for not taking marriage seriously.
Very good point. Now it seems when the going get tough people bail fast.
Will Smith said the sexiest thing once: Divorced is not an option for me and my wife.
And yes, I still think men are built for multiple partners, so why fight it?
When the media gets a hold of those Tiger type stories I really resent it. Why is this news? Why are people so shocked and allured by men who cheat stories? Men are like that. Most men. Why is this a new development?
*~Pearl Jam will be blasted from speakers until morale improves~*
As the OP, I agree there is no good excuse for cheating..
I agree with the last poster that "no one likes a nag" is a better term for the particular item noted in the article.
Speaking from my own 17 year marriage, I felt that once we changed from "dating" to "married" my wife was in a constant quest of molding me into something she thought I should be...
My hair, my clothes, my hobbies, my musical taste... and spent most of our marriage "disapointed"...
I can say with all honesty that I am much healthier living without the pressure of " a man I'll never be" (to steal a line from a Boston song).
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Hehehehe
Yup. That’s another reason I’m not married too. My expectations get in the way. While I do love him for who he is I can’t help it, I’m always seeing room for improvement. It’s a flaw I have. I try to look within and improve myself. Don’t all people want to do that? No.
some people are 'i is who i is' Take it, or leave it.
*~Pearl Jam will be blasted from speakers until morale improves~*
Speaking from my own 17 year marriage, I felt that once we changed from "dating" to "married" my wife was in a constant quest of molding me into something she thought I should be...
Comments
i only read as far as GET and then gave up...
quite witty
:thumbup:
excellent advice!
the initial attraction between my husband and myself was pure lust. however, we dated off and on for 5 years before marriage....and in that time became the best of friends too. it has only deepened with time, and has most definitely served us well thru all the trials and tribulations of life in general, and together.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
Interviews with Hideous Men
and my 2 cents
respect is more important than love.
Hmmm.. I don't get it..?
I respect a "Do Not Enter" sign but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it..
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
i found i can love somebody but later on down the road if i can't respect him(because of his actions) then the love goes right out the door. that's just me thou.
I dont think they realise how much it fucks the other person up.
(why they don't get out of the relationship first)
getting a thrill out of hurting someone else lame and immature
just trying to figure it out that's all.
that's pretty sick stuff, I agree..
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
At 24yr a males' LIBIDO kicks in, but.......a womens' LIBIDO does not kick in until she is around 35 years old...... so a same age relationship is already out of synchronisation.
When a Woman is ovulating, her desire for sex is overwelming, all she wants is to copulate to fertilise her eggs, hence she is receptive to advances of the sexual sort, and so she may cheat.
Also, when a woman is ovulating, her perception of a handsome male changes from a normal, everyday male, to a male who is tall, Strong, and determined. Us females have an underlining biological attraction toward certain men during this monthly cycle, we become attracted to someone other than our everyday partner, and so she may cheat.
For every orgasm we have, our desire for more builds...So for all those women who pretended to have an orgasm, a male actually did, hence he has a bigger sexual drive, wanting more and WILL be asked for it elsewhere.
And then we have the people who throw themselves at Married people......These people don't want a commitment and love the chase, and meanwhile, the person getting chased feels the excitement on being desired, and she may cheat.
The above may be an explaination as to why people find themselves in an " One thing led to another " scenario, and hence people " cheat".
Marriage was invented by religion wasn't it?
Men are not meant to be with one woman. How many mammals can you name that mate for life? Not many. Well, men are just slightly less furry.
Some foul mate for life. That's sweet.
Cheating sounds like they are being dishonest in cards. Women "cheat" just as much as men.
Western culture has invented this whole problem. Marriage is a farce.
Men get pushed into marriage, despite the fact that the divorce thought was present.
They have to come to terms with the typical threat: "if you won't put a ring on my finger, we obviously aren't going anywhere, so we should split".
(kidding with the blame comment - I'm sure men do it too, but I've never known one to push for marriage, with the female bein the cautious one)
every single bit of it.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
i agree with this.
glad you typed it out because i'm lazy.
as for women being pushy. i agree with that too.
i think if it were up to men to figure out when women should be having babies, there wouldn't be very many kids around.
What if it was phrased like this?
No man likes a nag.
My parents were divorced when I was 12.
I’m not blaming this one small thing but even at that young age I noticed my mom bugged my dad a lot.
But maybe she bugged him because he was a lazyass. ‘do it and I won’t have to nag’
I will say one of the things I remember my dad saying to me when I was young is Nobody likes a nag. That’s stayed with me. I’m not married. I give advice to my guy that 70% percent of the times he ignores. I figure hell we’re not married let him fall on his face. So while he continues not to take my advice, I don’t really care because we’re not married. (well it’s aggravating. But at least his choices don’t effect me much because we aren’t married) And if I find myself sounding like a broken record, I shut up real quick and think of what my dad told me. lol! But I also think of how stubborn/lazy my dad and my guy is and am glad I’m not married.
As for not taking marriage seriously.
Very good point. Now it seems when the going get tough people bail fast.
Will Smith said the sexiest thing once: Divorced is not an option for me and my wife.
And yes, I still think men are built for multiple partners, so why fight it?
When the media gets a hold of those Tiger type stories I really resent it. Why is this news? Why are people so shocked and allured by men who cheat stories? Men are like that. Most men. Why is this a new development?
I agree with the last poster that "no one likes a nag" is a better term for the particular item noted in the article.
Speaking from my own 17 year marriage, I felt that once we changed from "dating" to "married" my wife was in a constant quest of molding me into something she thought I should be...
My hair, my clothes, my hobbies, my musical taste... and spent most of our marriage "disapointed"...
I can say with all honesty that I am much healthier living without the pressure of " a man I'll never be" (to steal a line from a Boston song).
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Yup. That’s another reason I’m not married too. My expectations get in the way. While I do love him for who he is I can’t help it, I’m always seeing room for improvement. It’s a flaw I have. I try to look within and improve myself. Don’t all people want to do that? No.
some people are 'i is who i is' Take it, or leave it.
Because not all pancakes taste the same.......
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
Mmmmmm pancakes ........
there are sooo many different kinds of pancakes too ! and you can get them everywhere, and sometimes, they are free !!!
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
always flipping channels never watching a show straight thru.
variety is the spice of life...;)
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
That's WOMEN for ya!!!.....lol :P