My husband cheated on me for a long time with his secretary. I'm talking years. Why? I wasn't busting his balls over anything. She's not attractive, she's not even that nice. Why'd he do it? Cause he could. Cause he was bored. Cause I didn't know. Cause he got away with it at first. People cheat because they are people, and never really satistfied with what they have.
Not enough respect for your wife if you cheat. I f you are that unhappy that you have to cheat, then end the marriage. A little off topic, but I sometimes wonder when marriages go south if it has more to do with the fact that people got married for the sex more than any other reason.
A good friend told me before I got married to make sure you are friends first and not getting married out of lust, I followed his advice and going 18 years of married.
I have certain rules I live by ... My First Rule ... I don't believe anything the government tells me ... George Carlin
"Life Is What Happens To You When Your Busy Making Other Plans" John Lennon
Not enough respect for your wife if you cheat. I f you are that unhappy that you have to cheat, then end the marriage. A little off topic, but I sometimes wonder when marriages go south if it has more to do with the fact that people got married for the sex more than any other reason.
A good friend told me before I got married to make sure you are friends first and not getting married out of lust, I followed his advice and going 18 years of married.
I did the same thing and am now divorced.
My opinion would be that there is no "norm" for couples... each is a pairing of 2 different people creating 2 different situations.... sure there may be some similarities but when it comes down to it you just don't know why someone does something unless you are them.
*as a side note my ex husband cheated on me
also, the lack of respect is for themselves too... I know with my ex he didn't believe he was worthy of his own happiness (ending our marriage and starting a relationship in which he was happy) that he kept his relationship to her a secret and continued unhappy with me. Sure it was unbearable pain when I came to the realization of his lies but in time I was able to see how he didn't do it to hurt me. I don't forgive his actions, but I don't hate him either. At this point I'd rather be alone then living a lie.
** sorry I just have my own thoughts on the whole situation, it took a lot of soul searching to get where I am.
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
My husband cheated on me for a long time with his secretary. I'm talking years. Why? I wasn't busting his balls over anything. She's not attractive, she's not even that nice. Why'd he do it? Cause he could. Cause he was bored. Cause I didn't know. Cause he got away with it at first. People cheat because they are people, and never really satistfied with what they have.
You're not still with him...are you? :?
No. I kicked him out. Just saying that sometimes there really isn't a reason. They just do because they can. ANd they don't consider what it does to the other person. And as a side note, I didnt KNOW he was doing it - I suspected, but didn't trust my instincts. I should have, because when I found out, I felt like an idiot, and I told him he needed to leave. SO he did.
If your wife/gf cheated with another FEMALE, would you class it as cheating?
can i join the Party?
"...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
seriously, there is no *one* reason why anyone cheats, male or female. there's no secret formula and no matter how good a guy or girl you marry, well.....you never know. shit happens, things change, etc. not making excuses, not at all....just being realistic. given that almost half of all serious relationships/marriages one or the other partner cheats at one time or another....it happens. and plenty of couples stick it out and get even closer, and many others call it quits. and so it goes...
as the originator of this thread, I have received considerable flak both in public and PM postings.
No worries, this is free speech in motion... after discussing this with one Pm'er , I came to the conclusion that I need highlight the following aspect of the original post and my subsequent comments:
This thread contains information and opinion about WHY men cheat as reported in that article.
It does not advocate that the reasons are valid, credible, moral or justified.
In my follow up post, I was very careful to use these words:
"No one loves a ballbuster...This is a BIG one.. "
I did not write "This is a GOOD one".
There is a huge difference between those two statements.
Thank you ...
Please feel free to continue your debate..
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Not enough respect for your wife if you cheat. I f you are that unhappy that you have to cheat, then end the marriage. A little off topic, but I sometimes wonder when marriages go south if it has more to do with the fact that people got married for the sex more than any other reason.
A good friend told me before I got married to make sure you are friends first and not getting married out of lust, I followed his advice and going 18 years of married.
I had just turned 17 and he was 20 at the time, and yes it was all about sex. We were NEVER friends!!! After years of living with an alcoholic and emotional abuse, which turned to physical abuse. I finally left 8 months ago... I'm all alone for the first time in my life... I'm so pissed that I didn't leave years ago... :( I was always part of him, and it's very hard and scary getting to find out who I am now...
I would guess because her friends are skanks. Of course not always, but in my case a friend of my girlfriend invited me to her place after a night out drinking. I didn't go because for the first time I actually respect and love the women i'm with. This other woman is definitely not worth what I would lose. Fucked up thing, this other woman was actually a good friend of mine too. Who knows, maybe this faithfulness will blow up in my face, and my GF will cheat on me. These things happen.
I think it was Rodney Carrington that answered this question of why men cheat...
"It feels the same, it tastes the same, it looks the same, it feels the same, it tastes the same, it looks the same, it feels the same, it tastes the same, it looks the same .... "
not making a judgment but just asking a question - is it possible that being faithful to one person is an unreasonable expectation? I mean are animals meant to mate with only one other? I totally get that the expectation for being faithful is out of respct for your partner but when over 50% of marriages fail is it possible that the expectation has outlived it's usefulness? I'm not married so I've never been in the situation of cheating on a married partner - I'd like to think I would have enough strength to not to - but hard to say for sure until you are put in that situation. When partners are often apart, like athletes, entertainers, etc. shouldn't there be even less expectation of faithfulness if you can't be together for long periods?
not making a judgment but just asking a question - is it possible that being faithful to one person is an unreasonable expectation? I mean are animals meant to mate with only one other? I totally get that the expectation for being faithful is out of respct for your partner but when over 50% of marriages fail is it possible that the expectation has outlived it's usefulness? I'm not married so I've never been in the situation of cheating on a married partner - I'd like to think I would have enough strength to not to - but hard to say for sure until you are put in that situation. When partners are often apart, like athletes, entertainers, etc. shouldn't there be even less expectation of faithfulness if you can't be together for long periods?
I would hope that it's not an unreasonable expectation. That's pretty sad if it is the case. Men and women cheat for the same reasons in my opinion... weakness, desire, companionship, needs being fulfilled, and maybe for a confidence boost.
We are a selfish society, and for some reason think its exceptable to get what we need, or want no matter what the consequences. Looking into why we arent getting it at home in the first place would be to much effort after all :roll:
not making a judgment but just asking a question - is it possible that being faithful to one person is an unreasonable expectation? I mean are animals meant to mate with only one other? I totally get that the expectation for being faithful is out of respct for your partner but when over 50% of marriages fail is it possible that the expectation has outlived it's usefulness? I'm not married so I've never been in the situation of cheating on a married partner - I'd like to think I would have enough strength to not to - but hard to say for sure until you are put in that situation. When partners are often apart, like athletes, entertainers, etc. shouldn't there be even less expectation of faithfulness if you can't be together for long periods?
I would hope that it's not an unreasonable expectation. That's pretty sad if it is the case. Men and women cheat for the same reasons in my opinion... weakness, desire, companionship, needs being fulfilled, and maybe for a confidence boost.
We are a selfish society, and for some reason think its exceptable to get what we need, or want no matter what the consequences. Looking into why we arent getting it at home in the first place would be to much effort after all :roll:
agreed I'm just questionning society's norm - if humanity was starting anew would one partner be a reasonable expectation? i don't think so although hard to say for sure when dealing with human emotions - the emotional toll of it I guess can't be weighed unless society changed as a whole. i guess mine is a whole other topic and not really for 'why men cheat'
not making a judgment but just asking a question - is it possible that being faithful to one person is an unreasonable expectation? I mean are animals meant to mate with only one other? I totally get that the expectation for being faithful is out of respct for your partner but when over 50% of marriages fail is it possible that the expectation has outlived it's usefulness? I'm not married so I've never been in the situation of cheating on a married partner - I'd like to think I would have enough strength to not to - but hard to say for sure until you are put in that situation. When partners are often apart, like athletes, entertainers, etc. shouldn't there be even less expectation of faithfulness if you can't be together for long periods?
I would hope that it's not an unreasonable expectation. That's pretty sad if it is the case. Men and women cheat for the same reasons in my opinion... weakness, desire, companionship, needs being fulfilled, and maybe for a confidence boost.
We are a selfish society, and for some reason think its exceptable to get what we need, or want no matter what the consequences. Looking into why we arent getting it at home in the first place would be to much effort after all :roll:
agreed I'm just questionning society's norm - if humanity was starting anew would one partner be a reasonable expectation? i don't think so although hard to say for sure when dealing with human emotions - the emotional toll of it I guess can't be weighed unless society changed as a whole. i guess mine is a whole other topic and not really for 'why men cheat'
I see what your saying... if humanity was starting anew... in todays society, then sadly I dont think one partner would be a reasonable expectation, for males or females.
I would hope that it's not an unreasonable expectation. That's pretty sad if it is the case. Men and women cheat for the same reasons in my opinion... weakness, desire, companionship, needs being fulfilled, and maybe for a confidence boost.
We are a selfish society, and for some reason think its exceptable to get what we need, or want no matter what the consequences. Looking into why we arent getting it at home in the first place would be to much effort after all :roll:
agreed I'm just questionning society's norm - if humanity was starting anew would one partner be a reasonable expectation? i don't think so although hard to say for sure when dealing with human emotions - the emotional toll of it I guess can't be weighed unless society changed as a whole. i guess mine is a whole other topic and not really for 'why men cheat'
I see what your saying... if humanity was starting anew... in todays society, then sadly I dont think one partner would be a reasonable expectation, for males or females.
i think another question may be.....why is sexual fidelity the end-all, be-all in most of our current societies? is such fidelity really *necessary* to long-term happiness and companionship, etc? it's a very individual question imo. sure, there are societal standards, but it also comes down to individual couples...and is not, necessarily all rooted in evil selfishness per se. it's an interesting thought to ponder anyway.....
Can I earn credits towards a degree in "human sexuality" for starting this thread?
I think its deserved at this stage.!
who will sign my slip?
Signed. Although I guarantee my signature doesn't have much authority and validity.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
1. We have a penis
2. We have a penis
3. We have a penis
4. We have a penis
5. We have a penis
6. We have a penis
7. We have a penis
8. We have a penis
9. We have a penis
not making a judgment but just asking a question - is it possible that being faithful to one person is an unreasonable expectation? I mean are animals meant to mate with only one other? I totally get that the expectation for being faithful is out of respct for your partner but when over 50% of marriages fail is it possible that the expectation has outlived it's usefulness? I'm not married so I've never been in the situation of cheating on a married partner - I'd like to think I would have enough strength to not to - but hard to say for sure until you are put in that situation. When partners are often apart, like athletes, entertainers, etc. shouldn't there be even less expectation of faithfulness if you can't be together for long periods?
This may be a stupid post as I've never been married but:
I think another reason why there are so many divorces is that people simply don't take marriage seriously...I think people just enter marriage assuming that "Hey, if it doesn't work out...I'll just get divorced." Which in my opinion should definitely not be a thought when getting married. If two people aren't willing to go above and beyond to make a marriage work, then they shouldn't sign the papers and enter the deal.
I understand sometimes it truly was the wrong decision and divorce happens...but I think there is a fine line between an honestly not working marriage and two people who just aren't willing to try hard enough.
Again, that is just the opinion of someone who has never been married, but witnessed some divorces..
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Comments
You're not still with him...are you? :?
A good friend told me before I got married to make sure you are friends first and not getting married out of lust, I followed his advice and going 18 years of married.
"Life Is What Happens To You When Your Busy Making Other Plans" John Lennon
"Life Is What Happens To You When Your Busy Making Other Plans" John Lennon
My opinion would be that there is no "norm" for couples... each is a pairing of 2 different people creating 2 different situations.... sure there may be some similarities but when it comes down to it you just don't know why someone does something unless you are them.
*as a side note my ex husband cheated on me
also, the lack of respect is for themselves too... I know with my ex he didn't believe he was worthy of his own happiness (ending our marriage and starting a relationship in which he was happy) that he kept his relationship to her a secret and continued unhappy with me. Sure it was unbearable pain when I came to the realization of his lies but in time I was able to see how he didn't do it to hurt me. I don't forgive his actions, but I don't hate him either. At this point I'd rather be alone then living a lie.
** sorry I just have my own thoughts on the whole situation, it took a lot of soul searching to get where I am.
Depends what she looks like and how hairy she is.
No. I kicked him out. Just saying that sometimes there really isn't a reason. They just do because they can. ANd they don't consider what it does to the other person. And as a side note, I didnt KNOW he was doing it - I suspected, but didn't trust my instincts. I should have, because when I found out, I felt like an idiot, and I told him he needed to leave. SO he did.
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
"Men cheat because they fear death."
(At least that is how I remember it.)
THIS made me laugh!
seriously, there is no *one* reason why anyone cheats, male or female. there's no secret formula and no matter how good a guy or girl you marry, well.....you never know. shit happens, things change, etc. not making excuses, not at all....just being realistic. given that almost half of all serious relationships/marriages one or the other partner cheats at one time or another....it happens. and plenty of couples stick it out and get even closer, and many others call it quits. and so it goes...
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
No worries, this is free speech in motion... after discussing this with one Pm'er , I came to the conclusion that I need highlight the following aspect of the original post and my subsequent comments:
This thread contains information and opinion about WHY men cheat as reported in that article.
It does not advocate that the reasons are valid, credible, moral or justified.
In my follow up post, I was very careful to use these words:
"No one loves a ballbuster...This is a BIG one.. "
I did not write "This is a GOOD one".
There is a huge difference between those two statements.
Thank you ...
Please feel free to continue your debate..
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
I would classify that as divine intervention!
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
-Greg Dulli
"It feels the same, it tastes the same, it looks the same, it feels the same, it tastes the same, it looks the same, it feels the same, it tastes the same, it looks the same .... "
I would hope that it's not an unreasonable expectation. That's pretty sad if it is the case. Men and women cheat for the same reasons in my opinion... weakness, desire, companionship, needs being fulfilled, and maybe for a confidence boost.
We are a selfish society, and for some reason think its exceptable to get what we need, or want no matter what the consequences. Looking into why we arent getting it at home in the first place would be to much effort after all :roll:
agreed I'm just questionning society's norm - if humanity was starting anew would one partner be a reasonable expectation? i don't think so although hard to say for sure when dealing with human emotions - the emotional toll of it I guess can't be weighed unless society changed as a whole. i guess mine is a whole other topic and not really for 'why men cheat'
I see what your saying... if humanity was starting anew... in todays society, then sadly I dont think one partner would be a reasonable expectation, for males or females.
i think another question may be.....why is sexual fidelity the end-all, be-all in most of our current societies? is such fidelity really *necessary* to long-term happiness and companionship, etc? it's a very individual question imo. sure, there are societal standards, but it also comes down to individual couples...and is not, necessarily all rooted in evil selfishness per se. it's an interesting thought to ponder anyway.....
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
I think its deserved at this stage.!
who will sign my slip?
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Signed. Although I guarantee my signature doesn't have much authority and validity.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Your "ball-buster" comment guaranteed that you will NOT get a signature from me
2. We have a penis
3. We have a penis
4. We have a penis
5. We have a penis
6. We have a penis
7. We have a penis
8. We have a penis
9. We have a penis
http://www.drozfans.com/dr-ozs-advice/d ... men-cheat/
unrelated to dr. oz: 50% of marriages end in divorce because 49% couples shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
Yep that's me..! (raises hand)
:roll:
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Me too! Counting down to September 19th, when I will be officially divorced.....
I think another reason why there are so many divorces is that people simply don't take marriage seriously...I think people just enter marriage assuming that "Hey, if it doesn't work out...I'll just get divorced." Which in my opinion should definitely not be a thought when getting married. If two people aren't willing to go above and beyond to make a marriage work, then they shouldn't sign the papers and enter the deal.
I understand sometimes it truly was the wrong decision and divorce happens...but I think there is a fine line between an honestly not working marriage and two people who just aren't willing to try hard enough.
Again, that is just the opinion of someone who has never been married, but witnessed some divorces..
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2