ever have a friend that was like a brother to you..

Drop The Leash 10

and then they get a girlfriend and you dont even fuckin exist.. fuck that.

South of Seattle

Drop The Leash 10 wrote:

and then they get a girlfriend and you dont even fuckin exist.. fuck that.

Get used to it my friend.

hinx

I have a friend and she and I have been like sisters FOREVER...and now I have a new brother, because she cannot go ANYWHERE without her boyfriend.

It's very...annoying, to say the least. :?

pretext

I get torn between being really happy for my friend and her happiness, but also really wanting to spend two minutes alone with her.

supersonicyears

yes I do. They are really like brothers to me. I care about them the same as my own brothers. It's a shame some people can't see that. It's starts to become kinda uncomfortable. My one friend has to put me on speaker phone when we talk. I say the same things whether i'm on speaker phone or not but it just seems wierd.
Oh well maybe someday they will get it.

Whizbang

I've learned through the years that just like "romantic" relationships, our friendships go through phases. you may grow in a different direction than a friend and the friendship dies. Or you both go through shit you don't think the other will understand and the need for distance and perspective arises. I've been friends with my best friend since we were 12, been through some shit individually and with each other. If I was never able to tell her "hey, I'm pissed at you because you've dropped me like a bad habit for a guy", we wouldn't be friends today. We both did it to each other, we both had the sack to say something. Doesn't mean we just stopped dating the guys we were seeing, just that it made me realize I had left her behind just because I was seeing someone. He's long gone but she's still my friend.

Tell your friend you're happy for him that he's got a girl but don't be afraid to tell him he's pissed you off too. It doesn't have to be a fight....guys relate to each other different and sometimes the well placed/timed dig is enough communication. I don't recommend it in front of his girlfriend though.

SPEEDY MCCREADY

South of Seattle wrote:

Drop The Leash 10 wrote:

and then they get a girlfriend and you dont even fuckin exist.. fuck that.

Get used to it my friend.

Ya got that right.....

eMMI

yup, definitely have a friend like that. he's married so I needn't worry about girlfriends.

sucks your friend's acting like that though. I think Whizbang said it well:

Whizbang wrote:

I've learned through the years that just like "romantic" relationships, our friendships go through phases. you may grow in a different direction than a friend and the friendship dies. Or you both go through shit you don't think the other will understand and the need for distance and perspective arises. I've been friends with my best friend since we were 12, been through some shit individually and with each other. If I was never able to tell her "hey, I'm pissed at you because you've dropped me like a bad habit for a guy", we wouldn't be friends today. We both did it to each other, we both had the sack to say something. Doesn't mean we just stopped dating the guys we were seeing, just that it made me realize I had left her behind just because I was seeing someone. He's long gone but she's still my friend.

Tell your friend you're happy for him that he's got a girl but don't be afraid to tell him he's pissed you off too. It doesn't have to be a fight....guys relate to each other different and sometimes the well placed/timed dig is enough communication. I don't recommend it in front of his girlfriend though.

Lauri

Drop The Leash 10 wrote:

and then they get a girlfriend and you dont even fuckin exist.. fuck that.

this happens to everyone. Wait until your friends start getting married...

our culture is too focused on romantic partnership above all other relationships. there's this social psychologist that writes about these issues and she says that in the U.S. a romantic partner is a "sex and everything else partner," meaning that people basically put all their eggs in one basket. It's like the cheesy songs about someone being your "everything." Your friend will lose out in the end, just hope he figures that our sooner rather than later for his sake and your's.

and if he does call you to hang out sometime, blow him off and go do something on your own or with other friends. let him see how it feels.

Sian-of-the-dead

Yep.

Over the past couple of years I've had a couple of really close male friends who, when a new woman was on the scene, I was banned from seeing them and they disappeared into obscurity.

One has recently broken up with his girlfriend (that's how I found out about the ban) and i've seen him more in the last 2 months than I have in the last 2 years. It's great to have him back

Lauri

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Yep.

Over the past couple of years I've had a couple of really close male friends who, when a new woman was on the scene, I was banned from seeing them and they disappeared into obscurity.

One has recently broken up with his girlfriend (that's how I found out about the ban) and i've seen him more in the last 2 months than I have in the last 2 years. It's great to have him back

ugh, that's the worst when it's a jealous girlfriend to blame! I hate those girls. Seriously, if the guy wanted to date you, wouldn't he have done so already?

youngster

Yeah. It sucks. Had a friend who we used to do everything together. Then came the girl. I would call and see if he wanted to hang out. This is how it went:

Me: Hey, wanna hang out
Him: Uh, let me see what girlfriend is doing. (In the background I hear, "Hey, what are we doing later?" She says, "I don't know, maybe we could go to the mall or something.")
Him: I can't. I'm going to the mall with girlfriend.

We aren't friends anymore because he is a pussy-whipped little bitch who practically holds her purse when they go out. Pathetic.

supersonicyears

Lauri wrote:

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Yep.

Over the past couple of years I've had a couple of really close male friends who, when a new woman was on the scene, I was banned from seeing them and they disappeared into obscurity.

One has recently broken up with his girlfriend (that's how I found out about the ban) and i've seen him more in the last 2 months than I have in the last 2 years. It's great to have him back

ugh, that's the worst when it's a jealous girlfriend to blame! I hate those girls. Seriously, if the guy wanted to date you, wouldn't he have done so already?

Ain't that the truth!

Indian Summer

it's called growing up.

arq

I'm was like that my friends, we're the bestest friends ever but they know that they're invisible when i'm with a girl friend, now I'm married and things are different now my wife doesn't exist when I'm with my friends

Lauri

Indian Summer wrote:

it's called growing up.

It shouldn't be though. Life-long friendships deserve so much more respect than they get. I think the person who respects his friends regardless of his romantic status is the mature one.

Fifthelement

Whizbang wrote:

I've learned through the years that just like "romantic" relationships, our friendships go through phases. you may grow in a different direction than a friend and the friendship dies. Or you both go through shit you don't think the other will understand and the need for distance and perspective arises.

. . .

Tell your friend you're happy for him that he's got a girl but don't be afraid to tell him he's pissed you off too. It doesn't have to be a fight....guys relate to each other different and sometimes the well placed/timed dig is enough communication. I don't recommend it in front of his girlfriend though.

Lady, speaks the truth. I wish more people would recognise that friendships change. It can be a hard and painful lesson to learn. :(

decides2dream

Fifthelement wrote:

Whizbang wrote:

I've learned through the years that just like "romantic" relationships, our friendships go through phases. you may grow in a different direction than a friend and the friendship dies. Or you both go through shit you don't think the other will understand and the need for distance and perspective arises.

. . .

Tell your friend you're happy for him that he's got a girl but don't be afraid to tell him he's pissed you off too. It doesn't have to be a fight....guys relate to each other different and sometimes the well placed/timed dig is enough communication. I don't recommend it in front of his girlfriend though.

Lady, speaks the truth. I wish more people would recognise that friendships change. It can be a hard and painful lesson to learn. :(

exactly.
and it shouldn't 'have' to be painful, either.
almost all relationships change the longer they last...why not friendships?
ALL of my long-term friendships have changed over the years, it's bound to happen. doesn't mean we all love each other less, just that...more than likely...we have a LOT more going on in our lives - careers, familes, etc, etc. having a friendship that lasts through all of that....is a fantastic friendship to have.

soulsinging

Lauri wrote:

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Yep.

Over the past couple of years I've had a couple of really close male friends who, when a new woman was on the scene, I was banned from seeing them and they disappeared into obscurity.

One has recently broken up with his girlfriend (that's how I found out about the ban) and i've seen him more in the last 2 months than I have in the last 2 years. It's great to have him back

ugh, that's the worst when it's a jealous girlfriend to blame! I hate those girls. Seriously, if the guy wanted to date you, wouldn't he have done so already?

who said she's worried about the two of you dating? maybe she's just paranoid about a friends with benefits situation

soulsinging

cropduster82 wrote:

Yeah. It sucks. Had a friend who we used to do everything together. Then came the girl. I would call and see if he wanted to hang out. This is how it went:

Me: Hey, wanna hang out
Him: Uh, let me see what girlfriend is doing. (In the background I hear, "Hey, what are we doing later?" She says, "I don't know, maybe we could go to the mall or something.")
Him: I can't. I'm going to the mall with girlfriend.

We aren't friends anymore because he is a pussy-whipped little bitch who practically holds her purse when they go out. Pathetic.

i find the dude getting really pissed off at this 1) isn't getting laid, 2) does the same thing when he is getting laid, and 3) is still right about the friend being a pussy whipped bitch... but we all know us guys will put up with a LOT for some sex. let's face it man, you're a good friend, but you're not getting his rocks off and he's entitled to make this his priority don't hold it against him!

decides2dream

soulsinging wrote:

Lauri wrote:

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Yep.

Over the past couple of years I've had a couple of really close male friends who, when a new woman was on the scene, I was banned from seeing them and they disappeared into obscurity.

One has recently broken up with his girlfriend (that's how I found out about the ban) and i've seen him more in the last 2 months than I have in the last 2 years. It's great to have him back

ugh, that's the worst when it's a jealous girlfriend to blame! I hate those girls. Seriously, if the guy wanted to date you, wouldn't he have done so already?

who said she's worried about the two of you dating? maybe she's just paranoid about a friends with benefits situation

hahahahahaha....too true!

soulsinging wrote:

i find the dude getting really pissed off at this 1) isn't getting laid, 2) does the same thing when he is getting laid, and 3) is still right about the friend being a pussy whipped bitch... but we all know us guys will put up with a LOT for some sex. let's face it man, you're a good friend, but you're not getting his rocks off and he's entitled to make this his priority don't hold it against him!

someone's on a roll today....;)
(and yes, i agree)