Babies out of wedlock

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  • milarso
    milarso Posts: 1,280
    whoprincess wrote:
    Lots of us care and it's good that you let us know how things are going. Glad to hear that your families are being supportive. I'm sure it was scary telling the parents but what a plus that they're happy about what's to come! :clap:

    Even though this is a big responsibility, you have some time to be getting prepared and it sounds like the important people in your life are on your side. Good luck! :thumbup:

    It's kind of funny, because we were terrified to tell her dad, me especially. I just know he's really protective of his daughter (only child) and I kind of got the feeling when we were dating before that he didn't really care for me. But when we told him, he was so excited. My gf told me he went out and bought her mom a card that was like, "I know this isn't what we expected, but it's going to be so great to be grand parents..." And then he went to the store to buy toys :D
    "The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' her easy for all us sinners."
  • Who Princess
    Who Princess out here in the fields Posts: 7,305
    milarso wrote:
    whoprincess wrote:
    Lots of us care and it's good that you let us know how things are going. Glad to hear that your families are being supportive. I'm sure it was scary telling the parents but what a plus that they're happy about what's to come! :clap:

    Even though this is a big responsibility, you have some time to be getting prepared and it sounds like the important people in your life are on your side. Good luck! :thumbup:

    It's kind of funny, because we were terrified to tell her dad, me especially. I just know he's really protective of his daughter (only child) and I kind of got the feeling when we were dating before that he didn't really care for me. But when we told him, he was so excited. My gf told me he went out and bought her mom a card that was like, "I know this isn't what we expected, but it's going to be so great to be grand parents..." And then he went to the store to buy toys :D
    I don't think you're the first to have that experience. ;)
    Nothing like a grandchild to change the rents' perspective! :lol:
    "The stars are all connected to the brain."
  • pjhawks
    pjhawks Posts: 12,962
    i think most sensible people would agree that being a loving non-married parent to a child is always better than being a married shitty parent and lord knows there are a hell of a lot of shitty married parents. if i was you every time i see a news story online about shitty parents i'd email this chick the link and ask her how those married parents were doing.
  • mrvedderson
    mrvedderson Posts: 784
    I had 2 kids in 5 months. Am with the seconds mom now. Been that way for 4 years. Her family is all kinds of religious, but she is just a fake religious. We are not married. She acts like she would like to, but i expose her real reasonings for it and the subject gets dropped. And though our kids are abominations(joke), its not because we are not married.
  • tinkerbell
    tinkerbell New Zealand Posts: 2,161
    How has the new year been treating you & your girl friend?
    all you need is love, love is all you need
  • milarso
    milarso Posts: 1,280
    tinkerbell wrote:
    How has the new year been treating you & your girl friend?

    Things have been pretty great.
    We moved in together at the first of the year, and have been getting along really well.
    A couple of weeks ago we found out we are having a little boy, so that his been really exciting. Both of our sets of parents are extremely happy/excited.
    But we are making it work. It's been quite an adjustment, but we're both finding lots to be happy about.
    The baby is doing fine, and starting to move around, so we are just counting down the days until he makes is first appearance.
    June 16 is the big day (at least that's what the midwife told us...)
    "The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' her easy for all us sinners."
  • i_lov_it
    i_lov_it Perth, Western Australia Posts: 4,007
    norm wrote:
    i would have told her to mind her own fucking business

    My thought EXACTLY!!!...
  • Anon
    Anon Posts: 11,175
    milarso wrote:
    (at least that's what the midwife told us...)


    Yay for Midwives! Hope you have a doula too :D
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    milarso wrote:
    tinkerbell wrote:
    How has the new year been treating you & your girl friend?

    Things have been pretty great.
    We moved in together at the first of the year, and have been getting along really well.
    A couple of weeks ago we found out we are having a little boy, so that his been really exciting. Both of our sets of parents are extremely happy/excited.
    But we are making it work. It's been quite an adjustment, but we're both finding lots to be happy about.
    The baby is doing fine, and starting to move around, so we are just counting down the days until he makes is first appearance.
    June 16 is the big day (at least that's what the midwife told us...)
    This sounds wonderful- so very happy for you three!
    We are expecting a new baby at our business too just about that very time. They just found out it is a little girl and they have a little boy of 4.
    Yes yeah for midwives! I too was to have a midwife 26 years ago as we speak but I ran into complications. But I had my little boy healthy and that's what's important.
    You have some very exciting times ahead- good luck and please post again and lets us know how wonderful life is :D Bless you and your little family
  • lukin2006
    lukin2006 Posts: 9,087
    milarso wrote:
    KB262864 wrote:

    I know that may seem harsh to some people, but quite frankly I am tired of being the bigger person. If you are going to criticize my lifestyle choices, you better makes sure your own house is in order.

    Yeah- I definitely understand your reaction, and perhaps you're right.
    It's just been my experience that hostility is rarely a helps convert ignorance. I try to handle most confrontations with logic, but I've found that logic doesn't normally work with the outwardly religious...
    When put on the spot, it just seemed like a good idea to remove myself from the situation and go home and have a beer :lol:

    First off congratulations. I agree, I know 2 super religious people and the only point of view concerning God and religion is their own, not much point even having a discussion.
    I have certain rules I live by ... My First Rule ... I don't believe anything the government tells me ... George Carlin

    "Life Is What Happens To You When Your Busy Making Other Plans" John Lennon
  • tinkerbell
    tinkerbell New Zealand Posts: 2,161
    milarso wrote:
    tinkerbell wrote:
    How has the new year been treating you & your girl friend?

    Things have been pretty great.
    We moved in together at the first of the year, and have been getting along really well.
    A couple of weeks ago we found out we are having a little boy, so that his been really exciting. Both of our sets of parents are extremely happy/excited.
    But we are making it work. It's been quite an adjustment, but we're both finding lots to be happy about.
    The baby is doing fine, and starting to move around, so we are just counting down the days until he makes is first appearance.
    June 16 is the big day (at least that's what the midwife told us...)


    Thats really awesome! Midwives are great! Here in NZ all women have a midwife unless there are special circumstances, I found them to be such caring wonderfully supportive people to help you through an often scary time!
    Congrats on having a boy!! June 16 will probably not end up being the big day as only 5% of babies are actually born on their due date. Both of my kids were late.
    Good luck for the final few months!
    all you need is love, love is all you need
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    milarso wrote:
    I already talked about this a little in another thread so I'll give the Readers Digest version here for the first part.
    Long story short, my old girlfriend, with whom I hooked up with recently, found out she's pregnant. I'm acting under the assumption that it's mine, and we've decided to keep it. We decided to give our relationship another shot, but have made no plans to get married. I'm not saying it isn't going to happen, but it's not going to happen anytime soon. We are trying to do this for the right reasons.

    Anyway- I told some of my friends at work that I was going to be a dad, and everyone was really congratulatory and supportive. The news got around the office pretty quickly. As I was leaving yesterday, a lady who works in the advertising department (I work at a newspaper), who I don't really know pulled me aside and started asking me some really personal questions about how I wasn't wearing a wedding ring and if me and my old girlfriend were going to get married.
    I just smiled and tried to be polite. Then she told me that if we weren't married when the baby was born, our baby would be (I swear these are her exact words), "An abomination in the eyes of God."
    I had to try really hard not to explode and tell her off in the parking lot, but I just kind of laughed it off and told her it was something my girl and I were going to decide on our own.

    But seriously? How in the world could any baby be an abomination? Wtf.

    unbelievable...

    some people have zero class.
    her brain is bullshit.
    heart? she has none.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • libragirl
    libragirl Posts: 4,632
    Congrats to you and your gf. That was very inappropriate what that lady said and I feel you handled it well.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • Jeff Murray
    Jeff Murray Posts: 1,259
    norm wrote:
    i would have told her to mind her own fucking business

    What he said!

    Be sure to show her baby photos every chance you get! Maybe even take one with some lil devil horns as a joke! ;)

    In all seriousness, good luck and enjoy parenthood!
    If there were no Angels would there be no sin?
  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    First of all, congratulations!

    The only thing about children born to non married parents is the legal side of things. Check your State laws to make sure there is nothing you need to do as a father and to ensure your child has the same rights as one born 'in marriage'. Laws now do recognise children from 'common law' relationships as 'legitimate' but there might be some obscure 'counter law' where you are (mainly dealing with issues of separation, death of a parent, etc.). Better safe than sorry!
  • Heatherj43
    Heatherj43 Posts: 1,254
    People get so damn nosy and should just shut up! I can't believe some of the questions strangers have asked me over the years. I would never pry into others business like that. Then, to inject their false ideologies on you, wow...what an ignorant bitch.
    Save room for dessert!
  • Jo
    Jo Posts: 2,098
    Babies out of wedlock?

    I've had 4 boys in 4 years, OUT of Wedlock.

    These boys rule-the roost.

    I've been with thier Dad for 24 years.

    They are only now between the ages of 8 and 4 .......

    Having babies and staying around has alot more to do than Wedlock.
  • milarso
    milarso Posts: 1,280
    Well- the woman who called my unborn son an abomination no longer works at my office.
    She was fired today, and nobody really knows why...
    Even in a bad economy, I don't feel the least bit sympathetic...
    "The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' her easy for all us sinners."
  • Who Princess
    Who Princess out here in the fields Posts: 7,305
    milarso wrote:
    Well- the woman who called my unborn son an abomination no longer works at my office.
    She was fired today, and nobody really knows why...
    Even in a bad economy, I don't feel the least bit sympathetic...
    While I wouldn't wish unemployment on anyone, when someone behaves so inappropriately (to put it mildly) towards a coworker, she is bound to have had other workplace issues. Doesn't really matter what was behind her firing, at least now you don't have to deal with her. :clap:

    Continued good wishes on your future fatherhood! I enjoy the updates. :D
    "The stars are all connected to the brain."
  • Jo
    Jo Posts: 2,098
    milarso wrote:
    Well- the woman who called my unborn son an abomination no longer works at my office.
    She was fired today, and nobody really knows why...
    Even in a bad economy, I don't feel the least bit sympathetic...


    :o Your Boss is on these forums and read what she said. ;)

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