Babies out of wedlock

soulsinging

KB262864 wrote:

For example: my uncle tried to pull the same line with me. You need to get married, you need to get married. Mind you, this is a person who has been married himself four times and was a fairly absentee father when his own daughter was growing up. I finally turned to him and said, "If you have been married four times, that means three times you stood up in a church and said 'this is forever' and it wasn't. That makes you a liar. You lied to your God, your pastor, and everyone else who was there that day."

that's awesome

Ms. Haiku

soulsinging wrote:

DeLukin wrote:

Quick story: My brother and sister in law got pregnant as seniors in a Christian school and you would not believe the huge deal the school made about it

i can't blame them, i think it IS a pretty big deal that your brother in law got pregnant! it's a medical marvel!

This has been the only laugh in a shitty day. hahahahahahahahaha

soulsinging

milarso wrote:

KB262864 wrote:

I know that may seem harsh to some people, but quite frankly I am tired of being the bigger person. If you are going to criticize my lifestyle choices, you better makes sure your own house is in order.

Yeah- I definitely understand your reaction, and perhaps you're right.
It's just been my experience that hostility is rarely a helps convert ignorance. I try to handle most confrontations with logic, but I've found that logic doesn't normally work with the outwardly religious...
When put on the spot, it just seemed like a good idea to remove myself from the situation and go home and have a beer

thus why you go the hostile route, you scare or shame them enough and they might leave you alone. you try to use reason and logic... well, they hold those beliefs for a reason... namely, too stupid to think it through. there's no convincing morons like that what douches they are. your only positive outcome is to make sure she knows to leave you alone.

milarso

soulsinging wrote:

the only part of the story that concerns me is the getting back together. people usually break up for a reason and somebody getting knocked up isn't a really good reason to get back together.

Yeah- there was a reason we broke up, but it wasn't because we weren't compatible- thus the recent hookup. We broke up because we were living like 100 miles apart. But due to some job/housing changes over the last few months, we are now living int he same city. We were actually kind of hanging out again before the baby news.

soulsinging

milarso wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

the only part of the story that concerns me is the getting back together. people usually break up for a reason and somebody getting knocked up isn't a really good reason to get back together.

Yeah- there was a reason we broke up, but it wasn't because we weren't compatible- thus the recent hookup. We broke up because we were living like 100 miles apart. But due to some job/housing changes over the last few months, we are now living int he same city. We were actually kind of hanging out again before the baby news.

well then, forget i ever said it good luck to you both!

and i still think you should fuck with the coworker. no way would i let that slide. but then, i get my jollies fucking with religious people. except jews. for some reason all the jews i meet seem as indifferent to "religion" as i am?

milarso

soulsinging wrote:

well then, forget i ever said it good luck to you both!

and i still think you should fuck with the coworker. no way would i let that slide. but then, i get my jollies fucking with religious people. except jews. for some reason all the jews i meet seem as indifferent to "religion" as i am?

I had never even thought about talking to HR, but now I think I'm going to. I just talked with my supervisor about it, and she said that it was completely inappropriate and that I should take further action.

decides2dream

milarso wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

well then, forget i ever said it good luck to you both!

and i still think you should fuck with the coworker. no way would i let that slide. but then, i get my jollies fucking with religious people. except jews. for some reason all the jews i meet seem as indifferent to "religion" as i am?

I had never even thought about talking to HR, but now I think I'm going to. I just talked with my supervisor about it, and she said that it was completely inappropriate and that I should take further action.

i think THIS is the most appropriate course of action in an office environment.
no one wants be cavalier about their careers, especially in this economic climate. so it makes sense to handle it in a professional manner if you want to address it.

good luck with everything!

catefrances

milarso wrote:

I already talked about this a little in another thread so I'll give the Readers Digest version here for the first part.
Long story short, my old girlfriend, with whom I hooked up with recently, found out she's pregnant. I'm acting under the assumption that it's mine, and we've decided to keep it. We decided to give our relationship another shot, but have made no plans to get married. I'm not saying it isn't going to happen, but it's not going to happen anytime soon. We are trying to do this for the right reasons.

Anyway- I told some of my friends at work that I was going to be a dad, and everyone was really congratulatory and supportive. The news got around the office pretty quickly. As I was leaving yesterday, a lady who works in the advertising department (I work at a newspaper), who I don't really know pulled me aside and started asking me some really personal questions about how I wasn't wearing a wedding ring and if me and my old girlfriend were going to get married.
I just smiled and tried to be polite. Then she told me that if we weren't married when the baby was born, our baby would be (I swear these are her exact words), "An abomination in the eyes of God."
I had to try really hard not to explode and tell her off in the parking lot, but I just kind of laughed it off and told her it was something my girl and I were going to decide on our own.

But seriously? How in the world could any baby be an abomination? Wtf.

i have 4 children and i have never ever been married. i dont have a problem with it and nor do they.
one day recently zoe aged 10 came home and told me one of her little school friends said that i cant be her mother cause im not married. i asked her what she thought about that and she said it sounded silly. damn straight it did!!!

Stone Is God

My son was born out of wedlock and his mother and I are no longer together. As long as you love and support your child everything else doesn't matter.

Tell that bible thumping bitch from your office to shut her fucking yapper. I have nothing against relgion but when someone throws something like what she said in your face........man I would have been pissed.

supersonicyears

milarso wrote:

I already talked about this a little in another thread so I'll give the Readers Digest version here for the first part.
Long story short, my old girlfriend, with whom I hooked up with recently, found out she's pregnant. I'm acting under the assumption that it's mine, and we've decided to keep it. We decided to give our relationship another shot, but have made no plans to get married. I'm not saying it isn't going to happen, but it's not going to happen anytime soon. We are trying to do this for the right reasons.

Anyway- I told some of my friends at work that I was going to be a dad, and everyone was really congratulatory and supportive. The news got around the office pretty quickly. As I was leaving yesterday, a lady who works in the advertising department (I work at a newspaper), who I don't really know pulled me aside and started asking me some really personal questions about how I wasn't wearing a wedding ring and if me and my old girlfriend were going to get married.
I just smiled and tried to be polite. Then she told me that if we weren't married when the baby was born, our baby would be (I swear these are her exact words), "An abomination in the eyes of God."
I had to try really hard not to explode and tell her off in the parking lot, but I just kind of laughed it off and told her it was something my girl and I were going to decide on our own.

But seriously? How in the world could any baby be an abomination? Wtf.

Tell her it's an abomination to judge other people.

Claireack

She was out of order, although not religeous, a few of my friends are incredibly committed christians, they would never dream of saying that to someone.

mbangel10

OMG! You're going to have an abominable baby!





Congrats on being a future dad.

keeponrockin

mbangel10 wrote:

OMG! You're going to have an abominable baby!





Congrats on being a future dad.

I actually laughed.

And congrats Milarso!

tinkerbell

I am an "unwed" mother of 2 beautiful little abominations!!! :twisted:
Luckily I live in a land of open minded people where probably 50% of children are born into de facto families. My partner and I have been together for 14 years and have no intention in the forseeable future to get married, to me its just a piece of paper. We act the same as if we were married and because we are both atheists marriage to me is just a public commitment to your loved ones that you intend to stay with this person. Our families and friends know this to be the case without us having to spend a fortune on 1 day.
Don't get me wrong I think marriage definately has its place in society - and I also love going to other peoples weddings - its just not for me.

Ignorance is bliss or should I say Fear is Ignorance. I feel sorry for someone who believes that they need to prove their faith by saying such hurtful ignorant things. :?:

Good luck to you and your girlfriend! Having a piece of paper wont make you a better father, and I'm sure that from what you have said you'll be a wonderful caring Dad!

TravisTheSky

Mm, "wedlock." Such a beautiful, attractive, delicious-sounding word.

I've never heard a married person use that term: "My husband and I share wedlock. Today is the anniversary of our wedlock. My fiance and I are going to have wedlock."

Thoughts_Arrive

F*** I hate religous fanatics trying to push their views to everyone.
I would have told her bluntly mind your own business, noone asked for your opinion.

Horos

This is the beauty of free speech. She gets to display her ignorance publicly. I would just let it pass, trying to change her view is basically the same.

Congratulations!!!

decides2dream

keeponrockin wrote:

mbangel10 wrote:

OMG! You're going to have an abominable baby!





Congrats on being a future dad.

I actually laughed.

And congrats Milarso!

glad i am not alone there....really made me laugh!

81

you should have kicker her in the box

facepollution

Well done for keeping your cool, I would have found it hard not to tell her to fuck off and mind her own damn business.

I'm not against the idea of marriage, and there's no doubt that a child will benefit from being brought up with both their parents around, but there is no such thing as a perfect family set-up, and a marriage certificate isn't going to automatically change that.