How has the new year been treating you & your girl friend?
Things have been pretty great.
We moved in together at the first of the year, and have been getting along really well.
A couple of weeks ago we found out we are having a little boy, so that his been really exciting. Both of our sets of parents are extremely happy/excited.
But we are making it work. It's been quite an adjustment, but we're both finding lots to be happy about.
The baby is doing fine, and starting to move around, so we are just counting down the days until he makes is first appearance.
June 16 is the big day (at least that's what the midwife told us...)
Thats really awesome! Midwives are great! Here in NZ all women have a midwife unless there are special circumstances, I found them to be such caring wonderfully supportive people to help you through an often scary time!
Congrats on having a boy!! June 16 will probably not end up being the big day as only 5% of babies are actually born on their due date. Both of my kids were late.
Good luck for the final few months!
I already talked about this a little in another thread so I'll give the Readers Digest version here for the first part.
Long story short, my old girlfriend, with whom I hooked up with recently, found out she's pregnant. I'm acting under the assumption that it's mine, and we've decided to keep it. We decided to give our relationship another shot, but have made no plans to get married. I'm not saying it isn't going to happen, but it's not going to happen anytime soon. We are trying to do this for the right reasons.
Anyway- I told some of my friends at work that I was going to be a dad, and everyone was really congratulatory and supportive. The news got around the office pretty quickly. As I was leaving yesterday, a lady who works in the advertising department (I work at a newspaper), who I don't really know pulled me aside and started asking me some really personal questions about how I wasn't wearing a wedding ring and if me and my old girlfriend were going to get married.
I just smiled and tried to be polite. Then she told me that if we weren't married when the baby was born, our baby would be (I swear these are her exact words), "An abomination in the eyes of God."
I had to try really hard not to explode and tell her off in the parking lot, but I just kind of laughed it off and told her it was something my girl and I were going to decide on our own.
But seriously? How in the world could any baby be an abomination? Wtf.
unbelievable...
some people have zero class.
her brain is bullshit.
heart? she has none.
The only thing about children born to non married parents is the legal side of things. Check your State laws to make sure there is nothing you need to do as a father and to ensure your child has the same rights as one born 'in marriage'. Laws now do recognise children from 'common law' relationships as 'legitimate' but there might be some obscure 'counter law' where you are (mainly dealing with issues of separation, death of a parent, etc.). Better safe than sorry!
People get so damn nosy and should just shut up! I can't believe some of the questions strangers have asked me over the years. I would never pry into others business like that. Then, to inject their false ideologies on you, wow...what an ignorant bitch.
Well- the woman who called my unborn son an abomination no longer works at my office.
She was fired today, and nobody really knows why...
Even in a bad economy, I don't feel the least bit sympathetic...
"The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' her easy for all us sinners."
Well- the woman who called my unborn son an abomination no longer works at my office.
She was fired today, and nobody really knows why...
Even in a bad economy, I don't feel the least bit sympathetic...
While I wouldn't wish unemployment on anyone, when someone behaves so inappropriately (to put it mildly) towards a coworker, she is bound to have had other workplace issues. Doesn't really matter what was behind her firing, at least now you don't have to deal with her.
Continued good wishes on your future fatherhood! I enjoy the updates.
Well- the woman who called my unborn son an abomination no longer works at my office.
She was fired today, and nobody really knows why...
Even in a bad economy, I don't feel the least bit sympathetic...
Your Boss is on these forums and read what she said.
As for the comment, where does that woman get off saying stuff like that?
Seems odd she vanished from work as well.
As far as babies out of wedlock goes, well I am one, my still unmarried parents had me 30 years ago, and my brother 15 years ago. Dad just can't see the point, he has everything covered legally, and although deep down I think Mum would love the pomp and circumstance of a wedding, it doesn't bother her like that. I've done ok for myself and my brother is a good lad, so nope, being born out of wedlock has done us no harm. When I was younger there used to be a fuss about me having my mothers maiden name as my surname and not my dads, but now it doesn't really come up. In fact my brother and Dad have the same surname and me and mum have the same surname.
2009 - Manchester. 2010 - Dublin, Belfast, London, Berlin, Arras, Werchter. 2011 - PJ20 i & ii, Montreal, Toronto i & ii, Ottawa, Hamilton. 2012 - Manchester i & ii, Berlin i & ii, Stockholm. 2014 - Amsterdam i & ii, Trieste, Vienna, Berlin, Leeds, Milton Keynes. 2016 - Boston Fenway i & ii, 2018 - Amsterdam i & ii, Pinkpop, London i & ii, Padova, Krakow, Barcelona, Seattle i & ii.
Well- the woman who called my unborn son an abomination no longer works at my office.
She was fired today, and nobody really knows why...
Even in a bad economy, I don't feel the least bit sympathetic...
Well- the woman who called my unborn son an abomination no longer works at my office.
She was fired today, and nobody really knows why...
Even in a bad economy, I don't feel the least bit sympathetic...
"What goes around comes around" in life
I really started to buy into karma when I was in college- you know, be good to people and good things will happen to you, and vice versa- when stuff like this happens, it's hard for me to not think about karma, or the Golden Rule or whatever you choose to call it.
"The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' her easy for all us sinners."
We decided to celebrate our baby out of wedlock by treating him to his first Pearl Jam show! He's going to get to enjoy Eddie and the boys from inside his mommy's stomach when we go to Indy in May.
"The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' her easy for all us sinners."
We decided to celebrate our baby out of wedlock by treating him to his first Pearl Jam show! He's going to get to enjoy Eddie and the boys from inside his mommy's stomach when we go to Indy in May.
Baby out of wedlock, and now you treat the unborn child to the evils of rock and roll!!??!! It's the work of the devil i tell you .........THE DEVIL!!!
I already talked about this a little in another thread so I'll give the Readers Digest version here for the first part.
Long story short, my old girlfriend, with whom I hooked up with recently, found out she's pregnant. I'm acting under the assumption that it's mine, and we've decided to keep it. We decided to give our relationship another shot, but have made no plans to get married. I'm not saying it isn't going to happen, but it's not going to happen anytime soon. We are trying to do this for the right reasons.
Anyway- I told some of my friends at work that I was going to be a dad, and everyone was really congratulatory and supportive. The news got around the office pretty quickly. As I was leaving yesterday, a lady who works in the advertising department (I work at a newspaper), who I don't really know pulled me aside and started asking me some really personal questions about how I wasn't wearing a wedding ring and if me and my old girlfriend were going to get married.
I just smiled and tried to be polite. Then she told me that if we weren't married when the baby was born, our baby would be (I swear these are her exact words), "An abomination in the eyes of God."
I had to try really hard not to explode and tell her off in the parking lot, but I just kind of laughed it off and told her it was something my girl and I were going to decide on our own.
But seriously? How in the world could any baby be an abomination? Wtf.
Don't you wonder sometimes... what could this person *possibly* be thinking by saying this kind of thing to me? Meanwhile the two of you (you & your GF) could have decided to abort, the world would be none the wiser & this woman would still think you were Bible thumpers in your spare time & therefore somehow "worthy."
My advice for what it's worth? Get used to it. I have a baby daddy who I absolutely adore, but who- truth be told- if I had to spend more than 2 nights under the same roof with the man, we'd be at each others throats. But. He has been an absolutely amazing father since day 1, we have truly never exchanged a harsh word between us and have never been to court. I honestly could not have asked for a better relationship.
I have no idea why but it seems to shock the hell out of some people (especially women) when I say that I have never seen a reason to drag him through the court/ child support/ whatever system in this country. That its all been completely reasonable and civil.
I know how it feels to have judgement forced down your throat. Not fun. When I got preggers I lived in my hometown, which is verrrry very small & really pretty narrow minded. My daughter's father missed out on getting jobs because he was having a baby out of wedlock, and I heard everything from I was flying in the face of organized religion to I was trying to trap him by having a baby. I won't deny that all of it, every negative comment, stuck with me & hurt & to this day I remember who said what and who I STILL won't talk to because of what they said to me back then. (Hold grudges much? Nahhh)
Anyway, living well is the best revenge. Now our daughter is beautiful and brilliant and taller, smarter & more gorgeous than either of us ever could have hoped. She's gotten to live her life by seeing both her mother and her father happy doing what we love and living exactly where we want to live, and seeing us happy in our respective relationships that we've gotten into since then. She's never been subject to a bad marriage or fights or anything else she might have been exposed to if we had gotten married because we felt we "had" to.
It's such a great ride. Enjoy it & congratulations!!
"If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch, you're out of luck."
We decided to celebrate our baby out of wedlock by treating him to his first Pearl Jam show! He's going to get to enjoy Eddie and the boys from inside his mommy's stomach when we go to Indy in May.
Have great fun and be safe- I betcha baby will be really kickin that night!
I honestly cannot believe the stuff that people say! I am always amazed at how people poke their noses in places they shouldn't. I have had complete strangers ask me the most personal questions. I wonder where these people come from.
It gives me the creeps whenever I know about these kind of people.
Ignore the source!!
Have great fun and be safe- I betcha baby will be really kickin that night!
Oh he totally was. She said he was dancing in her belly all night long!
Bless your little baby boy! what a wonderfully happy time in your lives, so much coming your way. A lifetime of love.
I think, without reading back, the due date is June so you are counting the days now till you hold him in your arms. It's an unbelievable moment of promise and purpose, everything will be become very clear just why you are here.
Good luck and enjoy every moment, it goes by so very quickly. Having just shared Mothers Day with my children, a day of reminiscing and sharing stories, it is my family who has made me who I am and made my life so great.
I owe them so much
I've done the baby out of wedlock thing. Still, to this day, AS I TYPE, I cry when I think of all the people who told me that having a baby was a "mistake" and that god would not be pleased. Especially when at the time, I didn't feel a lot of purpose on this Earth until I found out I was pregnant. This baby SAVED MY LIFE.
Now when those same people tell me how smart, funny, talented, and beautiful she is, I want to remind them of what they said way back when...but I take deep breaths and hold my tongue.
The most unfortunate thing is that I did feel a lot of pressure to get married, and we eventually did, even though in my heart I knew it was a bad decision. And guess what? Now we live apart and are moving towards divorce. BUT it's our beautiful children and THEIR love that give us the maturity to respect each other and remain best friends and darn good parents, married or not. So again it's my kids that give me hope and make me want to keep going at this kind of scary point in my life.
Hate to unload like that to strangers on a message board but the original post really struck a chord w/me. I really wish you well, and hope for an easy, safe delivery and a healthy little boy!
I wouldn't have been able to keep it shut, she would have got such an earful ... I know it wouldn't have changed her, but, at least I'd get my peace.
Anyway, congrats ... don't forget your paternity leave!
I would've done the same thing, my word would've got me in trouble. Especially when I brought up her unthoughtful "God" comment. Not everyone in this world is fuckign religious...it pisses me off that people think that if they bring up "God", everything will change.
Anyways, to hell with your close-minded, dumbass co-worker. Like you said, she should mind her own fucking business.
Good luck and congratulations!!!
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
In regards to the comment from your co-worker, you gotta love the midwest! I hope everyone doesn't think we are a bunch of supersticious natives out here.
Anyway, I've come to grips that a lot of the common church "rules" were set up in the middle ages to control the flock. As an old man once told me, you have to separate the bear shit from the barley.
Comments
Thats really awesome! Midwives are great! Here in NZ all women have a midwife unless there are special circumstances, I found them to be such caring wonderfully supportive people to help you through an often scary time!
Congrats on having a boy!! June 16 will probably not end up being the big day as only 5% of babies are actually born on their due date. Both of my kids were late.
Good luck for the final few months!
unbelievable...
some people have zero class.
her brain is bullshit.
heart? she has none.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
What he said!
Be sure to show her baby photos every chance you get! Maybe even take one with some lil devil horns as a joke!
In all seriousness, good luck and enjoy parenthood!
The only thing about children born to non married parents is the legal side of things. Check your State laws to make sure there is nothing you need to do as a father and to ensure your child has the same rights as one born 'in marriage'. Laws now do recognise children from 'common law' relationships as 'legitimate' but there might be some obscure 'counter law' where you are (mainly dealing with issues of separation, death of a parent, etc.). Better safe than sorry!
I've had 4 boys in 4 years, OUT of Wedlock.
These boys rule-the roost.
I've been with thier Dad for 24 years.
They are only now between the ages of 8 and 4 .......
Having babies and staying around has alot more to do than Wedlock.
She was fired today, and nobody really knows why...
Even in a bad economy, I don't feel the least bit sympathetic...
Continued good wishes on your future fatherhood! I enjoy the updates.
As for the comment, where does that woman get off saying stuff like that?
Seems odd she vanished from work as well.
As far as babies out of wedlock goes, well I am one, my still unmarried parents had me 30 years ago, and my brother 15 years ago. Dad just can't see the point, he has everything covered legally, and although deep down I think Mum would love the pomp and circumstance of a wedding, it doesn't bother her like that. I've done ok for myself and my brother is a good lad, so nope, being born out of wedlock has done us no harm. When I was younger there used to be a fuss about me having my mothers maiden name as my surname and not my dads, but now it doesn't really come up. In fact my brother and Dad have the same surname and me and mum have the same surname.
2012 - Manchester i & ii, Berlin i & ii, Stockholm. 2014 - Amsterdam i & ii, Trieste, Vienna, Berlin, Leeds, Milton Keynes.
2016 - Boston Fenway i & ii, 2018 - Amsterdam i & ii, Pinkpop, London i & ii, Padova, Krakow, Barcelona, Seattle i & ii.
I really started to buy into karma when I was in college- you know, be good to people and good things will happen to you, and vice versa- when stuff like this happens, it's hard for me to not think about karma, or the Golden Rule or whatever you choose to call it.
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Baby out of wedlock, and now you treat the unborn child to the evils of rock and roll!!??!! It's the work of the devil i tell you .........THE DEVIL!!!
hehe....have fun at the show!!
AMR
WHAAHYEAH!!
Don't you wonder sometimes... what could this person *possibly* be thinking by saying this kind of thing to me? Meanwhile the two of you (you & your GF) could have decided to abort, the world would be none the wiser & this woman would still think you were Bible thumpers in your spare time & therefore somehow "worthy."
My advice for what it's worth? Get used to it. I have a baby daddy who I absolutely adore, but who- truth be told- if I had to spend more than 2 nights under the same roof with the man, we'd be at each others throats. But. He has been an absolutely amazing father since day 1, we have truly never exchanged a harsh word between us and have never been to court. I honestly could not have asked for a better relationship.
I have no idea why but it seems to shock the hell out of some people (especially women) when I say that I have never seen a reason to drag him through the court/ child support/ whatever system in this country. That its all been completely reasonable and civil.
I know how it feels to have judgement forced down your throat. Not fun. When I got preggers I lived in my hometown, which is verrrry very small & really pretty narrow minded. My daughter's father missed out on getting jobs because he was having a baby out of wedlock, and I heard everything from I was flying in the face of organized religion to I was trying to trap him by having a baby. I won't deny that all of it, every negative comment, stuck with me & hurt & to this day I remember who said what and who I STILL won't talk to because of what they said to me back then. (Hold grudges much? Nahhh)
Anyway, living well is the best revenge. Now our daughter is beautiful and brilliant and taller, smarter & more gorgeous than either of us ever could have hoped. She's gotten to live her life by seeing both her mother and her father happy doing what we love and living exactly where we want to live, and seeing us happy in our respective relationships that we've gotten into since then. She's never been subject to a bad marriage or fights or anything else she might have been exposed to if we had gotten married because we felt we "had" to.
It's such a great ride. Enjoy it & congratulations!!
It gives me the creeps whenever I know about these kind of people.
Ignore the source!!
Oh he totally was. She said he was dancing in her belly all night long!
nice. 4 days before my #1 was born i was at a gig. the bands name was mental as anything. ironic?? you be the the judge.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I think, without reading back, the due date is June so you are counting the days now till you hold him in your arms. It's an unbelievable moment of promise and purpose, everything will be become very clear just why you are here.
Good luck and enjoy every moment, it goes by so very quickly. Having just shared Mothers Day with my children, a day of reminiscing and sharing stories, it is my family who has made me who I am and made my life so great.
I owe them so much
Now when those same people tell me how smart, funny, talented, and beautiful she is, I want to remind them of what they said way back when...but I take deep breaths and hold my tongue.
The most unfortunate thing is that I did feel a lot of pressure to get married, and we eventually did, even though in my heart I knew it was a bad decision. And guess what? Now we live apart and are moving towards divorce. BUT it's our beautiful children and THEIR love that give us the maturity to respect each other and remain best friends and darn good parents, married or not. So again it's my kids that give me hope and make me want to keep going at this kind of scary point in my life.
Hate to unload like that to strangers on a message board
I would've done the same thing, my word would've got me in trouble. Especially when I brought up her unthoughtful "God" comment. Not everyone in this world is fuckign religious...it pisses me off that people think that if they bring up "God", everything will change.
Anyways, to hell with your close-minded, dumbass co-worker. Like you said, she should mind her own fucking business.
Good luck and congratulations!!!
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
In regards to the comment from your co-worker, you gotta love the midwest! I hope everyone doesn't think we are a bunch of supersticious natives out here.
Anyway, I've come to grips that a lot of the common church "rules" were set up in the middle ages to control the flock. As an old man once told me, you have to separate the bear shit from the barley.