Smoking during pregnancy

JonnyPistachio

Claireack wrote:

But I am a little surprised at how little understanding & compassion some of you seem to have.

My first compassion resides with that unborn child that didnt have the choice to quit smoking or drinking or whatever. That's what is most important. If you're that addicted to something, dont get pregnant. Deal with your addiction first, then get pregnant. Otherwise, you are unfit for the job.

but you are right, when dealing with a spouse, you should discuss and approach the issue with care.

Claireack

JonnyPistachio wrote:

If you're that addicted to something, dont get pregnant. Deal with your addiction first, then get pregnant. Otherwise, you are unfit for the job.

I will try not to get uppity with you about what you said and will try not to take what you said personally - which isn't easy. Suffice to say that my son was a very happy welcome surprise. I also think you are somewhat judgemental to say the bit about being 'unfit for the job'. It would be great to be perfect and to live in a perfect world, but none of us are perfect and this certainly isn't a perfect world. We are all human with human weaknesses unfortunately for some of us that happens to be an addiction to nicotine.

Phantom Pain

I'm not sure if the Law was passed or not but there was a town I heard on the news where they wanted to ban smoking in your own car if there was a child present


Not sure whats worse 2nd hand smoke or directly smoking when the baby is the womb still ?


Neither are good obviously...Having lost my Step Dad this August to Lung Cancer it's not a pretty site

Lizardjam

Claireack wrote:

I am a long term smoker, and yes I work in healthcare and I know all about the risks relating to smoking.

It's not good for you, good for your unborn child, or for those around you.

But I am a little surprised at how little understanding & compassion some of you seem to have. Smoking is an addiction, it's really not easy to give up, I have given up three times and every time when things get tough I went back to my old habit. I gave up when I was pregnant and completely fell to pieces, there were circumstances surrounding my pregnancy that made it a very difficult time for me. In the end I started again, I spoke to my midwife and she encouraged me to smoke as little as I could etc so I ended up on say 5 a day for my pregnancy. If it was my partner I would talk to her, find out what's going on with her, how is she coping with the pregnancy? Is she stressed/afraid/worried? Everytime I've quit I've gone back to it for emotional reasons, the physical cravings pass in about three or so days, it's the psycological stuff that's the hard stuff to get away from.

Yes in an ideal world I wouldn't smoke, but i do smoke, so I try to be considerate whilst doing it. At home I go outside and sit in the yard. I would never dream of insisting that I smoke in a non-smokers house. I know it's a bad habit but I try not to subject anyone else to it passively.

Talk to her, with love, not with condemnation.

P.s. My 12 year old son is a big healthy lad, taller than me and determined not to smoke.

Sorry, no compassion here. My mom smoked with me and thankfully I was born without any physical defects. She STILL SMOKED the first half of my life that I lived there. No one's addressing this either. This lady needs to stop for good, not just while she was pregnant. Secondhand smoke is horrible. Speaking from EXPERIENCE as a kid. I have had a horrible cough that can cause me to vomit from coughing so much. Why? Well, when I cough people think I'm a smoker. Nope, never ever touched it. Wonder why EH? I get it whenever I get the tiniest bit sick and it stays for 1-2 months after I get over being sick. Thanks Mom.

Yeah, compassion? My ass!

JonnyPistachio

Claireack wrote:

JonnyPistachio wrote:

If you're that addicted to something, dont get pregnant. Deal with your addiction first, then get pregnant. Otherwise, you are unfit for the job.

I will try not to get uppity with you about what you said and will try not to take what you said personally - which isn't easy. Suffice to say that my son was a very happy welcome surprise. I also think you are somewhat judgemental to say the bit about being 'unfit for the job'. It would be great to be perfect and to live in a perfect world, but none of us are perfect and this certainly isn't a perfect world. We are all human with human weaknesses unfortunately for some of us that happens to be an addiction to nicotine.

That's fine. I understand that not all things are planned. But my point is that if you're not willing to quit something that is factually 100% terrible for a defensless fetus, for the betterment of another humans well-being, then maybe you should reconsider what you are doing. And the 'unfit for the job' thing is implied for people that are pregnant by choice and have not tackled their addictions beforehand.
I dont care what the situation would be, but hypothetically if I were a pregnent woman, I would put ANY addictions down for the mere 9 months that could reflect on the health of a person that will live an entire lifetime. that 9 months seems pretty trivial for someone elses well-being. if I had a livin, breathing person in my belly, you better believe that I would weigh the implications of ever single ounce of anything that went into my body.
it's all about choices and will power.

Drowned Out

Our doctor told my ex that it would be more harmful to the baby for her to be stressed and suffering withdrawl than it would be to smoke infrequently. In fact, we were told that the most serious side effect was lowered birth weight. Both kids were 8 lbs plus. I'm not excusing the fact that she smoked. I didn't like it and tried to convince her not to. SHE didnt like it and did try to quit, but was only able to cut down. Looking at it from her perspective, and as an ex-smoker myself, I can only imagine what it would be like to be going thru all of the things she went thru in those pregnancies while also trying to deal with nicotine withdrawl. Anyone who can say 'no compassion' is lookin for some serious karma.

JonnyPistachio

Drowned Out wrote:

Anyone who can say 'no compassion' is lookin for some serious karma.

Funny, I was thinking the same thing about Karma and how it will probably come back to someone who smokes while pregnant.

As far as compassion goes, I am very compassionate to the difficulty in quiting an addiction. I just find MORE compassion for the unborn child and how he/she relies on the mothers EVERY decision.

i'm really sorry to anyone who ever had to go through this, but it's a very serious matter. And to the OP, I wish there was an easy way to get you girlfriend to quit, but I think it varies from person to person on how they need to approach it. Good luck with it, the best thing you can do is be as supportive as possible.

libragirl

I really don't know what you can do. Obviously, she doesn't care about what she's doing to the baby. What can you do? I know people who have done this and it's just sad imo.

Brain of J.Lo

Smoking while pregnant is believed to increase the risk of SIDS. That alone should be enough of a reason to quit.

I know one woman who smoked during pregnancy who actually lost her baby to SIDS at six weeks. The idea that her actions may have contributed to the baby's death makes her feel terrible.

Claireack

Things aren't always black and white, there is a lot of grey in the world.

To the OP, talk to her.

PearlJamDowner

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

Smoking while pregnant is believed to increase the risk of SIDS. That alone should be enough of a reason to quit.

I know one woman who smoked during pregnancy who actually lost her baby to SIDS at six weeks. The idea that her actions may have contributed to the baby's death makes her feel terrible.

this comment alone makes me feel sick

aspoonfulweighsaton

Any woman that smokes during a pregnancy should have their reproductive organs ripped out right after the baby comes to ensure that she's never in that situation again.

"Oh but it's an addiction you just don't understand!" blah blah blah... Yeah so are lots of things yet somehow people stop every day. It's called determination and willpower you selfish cunts. :evil:

haffajappa

Its crazy how some mothers read every pregnancy book and wont have the slightest food or intake that might harm their baby, right down to the last coffee bean, and other mother's will smoke and drink while with child.

Not saying I don't understand her addiction (not that I smoke), my kid'll have to live with mercury poisoning because if you think i'm going to give up sushi for 9 months you have another thing coming.

Then again, it'll have Japanese genes in it, so I'm sure it'll be resistant to any harm sushi might do to your average baby

PearlJamDowner

she does have a pregnancy book that she's been reading and making me read and shit. We had a horrific fight tonight that started by me bringing up smoking...she immediately snapped on me and than of course i get angry.....just a horrible situation.

catefrances

PearlJamDowner wrote:

she does have a pregnancy book that she's been reading and making me read and shit. We had a horrific fight tonight that started by me bringing up smoking...she immediately snapped on me and than of course i get angry.....just a horrible situation.

so she agreed to give up smoking so she could conceive, right? why did she do that? was it so youd agree to a child?

haffajappa

PearlJamDowner wrote:

she does have a pregnancy book that she's been reading and making me read and shit. We had a horrific fight tonight that started by me bringing up smoking...she immediately snapped on me and than of course i get angry.....just a horrible situation.

shes obviously hiding it from you so she knows its wrong, she is probably feeling guilty... when she lashes out at you its probably because she is very defensive about her guilt or something.
hopefully it works out for you, her and the baby. perhaps someone you know that is close to her can try and talk with her about your concerns, sometimes it helps to hear the same advice coming from someone else?

whatever happens i hope you guys sort it out, and she starts to think twice about what she is doing... you're trying the best you can, good luck!!

Indian Summer

No health-care expert is gonna advise it. But honestly, my wife's mother smoked through all four of her pregnancies, and all her kids are fine. Healthy birth weights, and apparently they're pretty smart too. 2 are Pharmacists, one is a dentist, and my wife is an Ultrasonographer.

PearlJamDowner

Indian Summer wrote:

No health-care expert is gonna advise it. But honestly, my wife's mother smoked through all four of her pregnancies, and all her kids are fine. Healthy birth weights, and apparently they're pretty smart too. 2 are Pharmacists, one is a dentist, and my wife is an Ultrasonographer.

thanks a lot man, you've always been one of my favourites on the board

PearlJamDowner

catefrances wrote:

PearlJamDowner wrote:

she does have a pregnancy book that she's been reading and making me read and shit. We had a horrific fight tonight that started by me bringing up smoking...she immediately snapped on me and than of course i get angry.....just a horrible situation.

so she agreed to give up smoking so she could conceive, right? why did she do that? was it so youd agree to a child?

yes that's why she quit, she quit for 6 months or so....I am just so
distraught over all this, I am constantly googling smoking and pregnancy......I got "the end" playing....im crying....I dunno what to do.

Indian Summer

PearlJamDowner wrote:

Indian Summer wrote:

No health-care expert is gonna advise it. But honestly, my wife's mother smoked through all four of her pregnancies, and all her kids are fine. Healthy birth weights, and apparently they're pretty smart too. 2 are Pharmacists, one is a dentist, and my wife is an Ultrasonographer.

thanks a lot man, you've always been one of my favourites on the board

I'm not promoting it by any means. My wife is pregnant at the moment, and there's no way in hell I would want her to take a single puff off a cigarette. Hell I get pissed if somebody is smoking near her right now. But I'm just saying, its not always as bad as "they" say.