The hard work of surviving emotional depression and anxiety.

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  • dankinddankind I am not your foot. Posts: 11,385
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    RS, CBT might actually be beneficial for you. It's done wonders for a ton of people. I wasn't trying to bash it earlier; it just doesn't do squat for me. I'm too damn stubborn and analytical. I need to talk, get a load of worries off my chest and go through the process of figuring out why it was all weighing me down in the first place, why I allowed it.

    Also, if you're looking for someone more relatable, I would highly recommend an LCSW over a PhD, MD or PsyD -- that is unless you're also immensely wealthy and appreciate aloofness. I realize that's a fairly broad generalization, but it's been my experience that LCSWs generally just care more and have similar issues on a socioeconomic scale as I do.
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 12,003
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    I've had 2 psychologists try to reprogram me and have both failed.
    My upbringing and my abusive mother have severely fucked my brain up.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • RogueStonerRogueStoner Sunny AZPosts: 1,578
    dankind said:
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    RS, CBT might actually be beneficial for you. It's done wonders for a ton of people. I wasn't trying to bash it earlier; it just doesn't do squat for me. I'm too damn stubborn and analytical. I need to talk, get a load of worries off my chest and go through the process of figuring out why it was all weighing me down in the first place, why I allowed it.

    Also, if you're looking for someone more relatable, I would highly recommend an LCSW over a PhD, MD or PsyD -- that is unless you're also immensely wealthy and appreciate aloofness. I realize that's a fairly broad generalization, but it's been my experience that LCSWs generally just care more and have similar issues on a socioeconomic scale as I do.
    I didn’t think you were bashing CBT, nor am I. I’m currently interested in DBT and EMDR. And I agree with you about an LCSW. That’s a great suggestion. Thanks! 
  • RogueStonerRogueStoner Sunny AZPosts: 1,578
    edited February 9
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    I've had 2 psychologists try to reprogram me and have both failed.
    My upbringing and my abusive mother have severely fucked my brain up.
    Same here. But I’ve also done a lot of self reflecting and I think I’ve learned what makes me tick. Now I just need confirmation (or not, either way) and tools to help me fix my problems. Maybe that’s the difference...I used to want them to fix me and now I just want them to show me the tools so I can fix myself. I have to find value in myself and fight for myself before anyone else will do that for me. 

    Edit: I should add that the reason I sound all “rah-rah-let’s do this shit” is because I’m in an exceedingly good mood the past two days. I wonder if that’s just part of my depression cycle or if it has to do with the active things I’ve been doing to dig myself out of this hole this past week...drinking water, eating better, taking vitamins, exercising, spending more time outdoors, talking to you fine folks. :)
    Talk about health anxiety! I’m terrified this will end any day now and I’ll be back in that pit of doom. But I’m trying to not think about it and just forge ahead. 
    Post edited by RogueStoner on
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 12,003
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    I've had 2 psychologists try to reprogram me and have both failed.
    My upbringing and my abusive mother have severely fucked my brain up.
    Same here. But I’ve also done a lot of self reflecting and I think I’ve learned what makes me tick. Now I just need confirmation (or not, either way) and tools to help me fix my problems. Maybe that’s the difference...I used to want them to fix me and now I just want them to show me the tools so I can fix myself. I have to find value in myself and fight for myself before anyone else will do that for me. 

    Edit: I should add that the reason I sound all “rah-rah-let’s do this shit” is because I’m in an exceedingly good mood the past two days. I wonder if that’s just part of my depression cycle or if it has to do with the active things I’ve been doing to dig myself out of this hole this past week...drinking water, eating better, taking vitamins, exercising, spending more time outdoors, talking to you fine folks. :)
    Talk about health anxiety! I’m terrified this will end any day now and I’ll be back in that pit of doom. But I’m trying to not think about it and just forge ahead. 
    All the best to you.
    We have to fix ourselves. Psychologists can only show us how.
    I love when I get the feel good cycle. Just came out of a dip last week.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 10,789
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    I've had 2 psychologists try to reprogram me and have both failed.
    My upbringing and my abusive mother have severely fucked my brain up.
    Same here. But I’ve also done a lot of self reflecting and I think I’ve learned what makes me tick. Now I just need confirmation (or not, either way) and tools to help me fix my problems. Maybe that’s the difference...I used to want them to fix me and now I just want them to show me the tools so I can fix myself. I have to find value in myself and fight for myself before anyone else will do that for me. 

    Edit: I should add that the reason I sound all “rah-rah-let’s do this shit” is because I’m in an exceedingly good mood the past two days. I wonder if that’s just part of my depression cycle or if it has to do with the active things I’ve been doing to dig myself out of this hole this past week...drinking water, eating better, taking vitamins, exercising, spending more time outdoors, talking to you fine folks. :)
    Talk about health anxiety! I’m terrified this will end any day now and I’ll be back in that pit of doom. But I’m trying to not think about it and just forge ahead. 
    All the best to you.
    We have to fix ourselves. Psychologists can only show us how.
    I love when I get the feel good cycle. Just came out of a dip last week.
    Yes, this.
    Nobody can reprogram you, but the right person taking the right approach can teach you and help you to reprogram yourself!
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 23,247
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    I've had 2 psychologists try to reprogram me and have both failed.
    My upbringing and my abusive mother have severely fucked my brain up.
    Same here. But I’ve also done a lot of self reflecting and I think I’ve learned what makes me tick. Now I just need confirmation (or not, either way) and tools to help me fix my problems. Maybe that’s the difference...I used to want them to fix me and now I just want them to show me the tools so I can fix myself. I have to find value in myself and fight for myself before anyone else will do that for me. 

    Edit: I should add that the reason I sound all “rah-rah-let’s do this shit” is because I’m in an exceedingly good mood the past two days. I wonder if that’s just part of my depression cycle or if it has to do with the active things I’ve been doing to dig myself out of this hole this past week...drinking water, eating better, taking vitamins, exercising, spending more time outdoors, talking to you fine folks. :)
    Talk about health anxiety! I’m terrified this will end any day now and I’ll be back in that pit of doom. But I’m trying to not think about it and just forge ahead. 
    All the best to you.
    We have to fix ourselves. Psychologists can only show us how.
    I love when I get the feel good cycle. Just came out of a dip last week.
    Wise words, my friend.  The woman I worked with at our local college's Human Services department taught the concept of helping a person "pick up their own penny". 

    She discovered this metaphor one day while on a picnic with her young niece.  She notice the little girl was sitting near a penny that was on the lawn and she knew the girl would be thrilled to find the penny.  She thought, "I could pick up the penny and give it to the girl but she would be so much more happy if she discovered it on her own."  So she coaxed the girl closer to the penny and when the girl noticed it, she picked it up and with a gleam in her eye exclaimed, "Look!  I found a penny!".  The girl found the penny on her own rather than simply having it handed to her.  She had the confidence of making a discovery one her own (with unspoken subtle guidance from her aunt).

    So this instructor then used that metaphor for helping people find solutions to their difficulties.  She showed how it is far more valuable for a person to "pick up their own penny" than it is to have someone simply offer a prescribed solution.  That kind of counseling is more difficult, but far more effective.
    The reason I never give up hope is because everything is so basically hopeless.
    -Anne Lamott
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.



  • dankinddankind I am not your foot. Posts: 11,385
    brianlux said:
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    I've had 2 psychologists try to reprogram me and have both failed.
    My upbringing and my abusive mother have severely fucked my brain up.
    Same here. But I’ve also done a lot of self reflecting and I think I’ve learned what makes me tick. Now I just need confirmation (or not, either way) and tools to help me fix my problems. Maybe that’s the difference...I used to want them to fix me and now I just want them to show me the tools so I can fix myself. I have to find value in myself and fight for myself before anyone else will do that for me. 

    Edit: I should add that the reason I sound all “rah-rah-let’s do this shit” is because I’m in an exceedingly good mood the past two days. I wonder if that’s just part of my depression cycle or if it has to do with the active things I’ve been doing to dig myself out of this hole this past week...drinking water, eating better, taking vitamins, exercising, spending more time outdoors, talking to you fine folks. :)
    Talk about health anxiety! I’m terrified this will end any day now and I’ll be back in that pit of doom. But I’m trying to not think about it and just forge ahead. 
    All the best to you.
    We have to fix ourselves. Psychologists can only show us how.
    I love when I get the feel good cycle. Just came out of a dip last week.
    Wise words, my friend.  The woman I worked with at our local college's Human Services department taught the concept of helping a person "pick up their own penny". 

    She discovered this metaphor one day while on a picnic with her young niece.  She notice the little girl was sitting near a penny that was on the lawn and she knew the girl would be thrilled to find the penny.  She thought, "I could pick up the penny and give it to the girl but she would be so much more happy if she discovered it on her own."  So she coaxed the girl closer to the penny and when the girl noticed it, she picked it up and with a gleam in her eye exclaimed, "Look!  I found a penny!".  The girl found the penny on her own rather than simply having it handed to her.  She had the confidence of making a discovery one her own (with unspoken subtle guidance from her aunt).

    So this instructor then used that metaphor for helping people find solutions to their difficulties.  She showed how it is far more valuable for a person to "pick up their own penny" than it is to have someone simply offer a prescribed solution.  That kind of counseling is more difficult, but far more effective.
    That's Salingeresque.
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 23,247
    dankind said:
    brianlux said:
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    I've had 2 psychologists try to reprogram me and have both failed.
    My upbringing and my abusive mother have severely fucked my brain up.
    Same here. But I’ve also done a lot of self reflecting and I think I’ve learned what makes me tick. Now I just need confirmation (or not, either way) and tools to help me fix my problems. Maybe that’s the difference...I used to want them to fix me and now I just want them to show me the tools so I can fix myself. I have to find value in myself and fight for myself before anyone else will do that for me. 

    Edit: I should add that the reason I sound all “rah-rah-let’s do this shit” is because I’m in an exceedingly good mood the past two days. I wonder if that’s just part of my depression cycle or if it has to do with the active things I’ve been doing to dig myself out of this hole this past week...drinking water, eating better, taking vitamins, exercising, spending more time outdoors, talking to you fine folks. :)
    Talk about health anxiety! I’m terrified this will end any day now and I’ll be back in that pit of doom. But I’m trying to not think about it and just forge ahead. 
    All the best to you.
    We have to fix ourselves. Psychologists can only show us how.
    I love when I get the feel good cycle. Just came out of a dip last week.
    Wise words, my friend.  The woman I worked with at our local college's Human Services department taught the concept of helping a person "pick up their own penny". 

    She discovered this metaphor one day while on a picnic with her young niece.  She notice the little girl was sitting near a penny that was on the lawn and she knew the girl would be thrilled to find the penny.  She thought, "I could pick up the penny and give it to the girl but she would be so much more happy if she discovered it on her own."  So she coaxed the girl closer to the penny and when the girl noticed it, she picked it up and with a gleam in her eye exclaimed, "Look!  I found a penny!".  The girl found the penny on her own rather than simply having it handed to her.  She had the confidence of making a discovery one her own (with unspoken subtle guidance from her aunt).

    So this instructor then used that metaphor for helping people find solutions to their difficulties.  She showed how it is far more valuable for a person to "pick up their own penny" than it is to have someone simply offer a prescribed solution.  That kind of counseling is more difficult, but far more effective.
    That's Salingeresque.
    Interesting!  Which story?
    The reason I never give up hope is because everything is so basically hopeless.
    -Anne Lamott
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.



  • dankinddankind I am not your foot. Posts: 11,385
    brianlux said:
    dankind said:
    brianlux said:
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    I've had 2 psychologists try to reprogram me and have both failed.
    My upbringing and my abusive mother have severely fucked my brain up.
    Same here. But I’ve also done a lot of self reflecting and I think I’ve learned what makes me tick. Now I just need confirmation (or not, either way) and tools to help me fix my problems. Maybe that’s the difference...I used to want them to fix me and now I just want them to show me the tools so I can fix myself. I have to find value in myself and fight for myself before anyone else will do that for me. 

    Edit: I should add that the reason I sound all “rah-rah-let’s do this shit” is because I’m in an exceedingly good mood the past two days. I wonder if that’s just part of my depression cycle or if it has to do with the active things I’ve been doing to dig myself out of this hole this past week...drinking water, eating better, taking vitamins, exercising, spending more time outdoors, talking to you fine folks. :)
    Talk about health anxiety! I’m terrified this will end any day now and I’ll be back in that pit of doom. But I’m trying to not think about it and just forge ahead. 
    All the best to you.
    We have to fix ourselves. Psychologists can only show us how.
    I love when I get the feel good cycle. Just came out of a dip last week.
    Wise words, my friend.  The woman I worked with at our local college's Human Services department taught the concept of helping a person "pick up their own penny". 

    She discovered this metaphor one day while on a picnic with her young niece.  She notice the little girl was sitting near a penny that was on the lawn and she knew the girl would be thrilled to find the penny.  She thought, "I could pick up the penny and give it to the girl but she would be so much more happy if she discovered it on her own."  So she coaxed the girl closer to the penny and when the girl noticed it, she picked it up and with a gleam in her eye exclaimed, "Look!  I found a penny!".  The girl found the penny on her own rather than simply having it handed to her.  She had the confidence of making a discovery one her own (with unspoken subtle guidance from her aunt).

    So this instructor then used that metaphor for helping people find solutions to their difficulties.  She showed how it is far more valuable for a person to "pick up their own penny" than it is to have someone simply offer a prescribed solution.  That kind of counseling is more difficult, but far more effective.
    That's Salingeresque.
    Interesting!  Which story?
    The Catcher in the Rye and "A Perfect Day for Bananafish" come to mind.
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 14,280
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    fantastic news. Awesome. 
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 12,003
    edited February 10
    brianlux said:
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    I've had 2 psychologists try to reprogram me and have both failed.
    My upbringing and my abusive mother have severely fucked my brain up.
    Same here. But I’ve also done a lot of self reflecting and I think I’ve learned what makes me tick. Now I just need confirmation (or not, either way) and tools to help me fix my problems. Maybe that’s the difference...I used to want them to fix me and now I just want them to show me the tools so I can fix myself. I have to find value in myself and fight for myself before anyone else will do that for me. 

    Edit: I should add that the reason I sound all “rah-rah-let’s do this shit” is because I’m in an exceedingly good mood the past two days. I wonder if that’s just part of my depression cycle or if it has to do with the active things I’ve been doing to dig myself out of this hole this past week...drinking water, eating better, taking vitamins, exercising, spending more time outdoors, talking to you fine folks. :)
    Talk about health anxiety! I’m terrified this will end any day now and I’ll be back in that pit of doom. But I’m trying to not think about it and just forge ahead. 
    All the best to you.
    We have to fix ourselves. Psychologists can only show us how.
    I love when I get the feel good cycle. Just came out of a dip last week.
    Wise words, my friend.  The woman I worked with at our local college's Human Services department taught the concept of helping a person "pick up their own penny". 

    She discovered this metaphor one day while on a picnic with her young niece.  She notice the little girl was sitting near a penny that was on the lawn and she knew the girl would be thrilled to find the penny.  She thought, "I could pick up the penny and give it to the girl but she would be so much more happy if she discovered it on her own."  So she coaxed the girl closer to the penny and when the girl noticed it, she picked it up and with a gleam in her eye exclaimed, "Look!  I found a penny!".  The girl found the penny on her own rather than simply having it handed to her.  She had the confidence of making a discovery one her own (with unspoken subtle guidance from her aunt).

    So this instructor then used that metaphor for helping people find solutions to their difficulties.  She showed how it is far more valuable for a person to "pick up their own penny" than it is to have someone simply offer a prescribed solution.  That kind of counseling is more difficult, but far more effective.
    Very nice metaphor.
    To add to that, the person fixing themselves will feel more empowered and develop a sense of control over their circumstances.
    Both which are vital to overcoming depression and anxiety and any other mental disorder.
    Having a sense of not having control leads to apathy, learned helplessness and ultimately depression.
    Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 23,247
    dankind said:
    brianlux said:
    dankind said:
    brianlux said:
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    I've had 2 psychologists try to reprogram me and have both failed.
    My upbringing and my abusive mother have severely fucked my brain up.
    Same here. But I’ve also done a lot of self reflecting and I think I’ve learned what makes me tick. Now I just need confirmation (or not, either way) and tools to help me fix my problems. Maybe that’s the difference...I used to want them to fix me and now I just want them to show me the tools so I can fix myself. I have to find value in myself and fight for myself before anyone else will do that for me. 

    Edit: I should add that the reason I sound all “rah-rah-let’s do this shit” is because I’m in an exceedingly good mood the past two days. I wonder if that’s just part of my depression cycle or if it has to do with the active things I’ve been doing to dig myself out of this hole this past week...drinking water, eating better, taking vitamins, exercising, spending more time outdoors, talking to you fine folks. :)
    Talk about health anxiety! I’m terrified this will end any day now and I’ll be back in that pit of doom. But I’m trying to not think about it and just forge ahead. 
    All the best to you.
    We have to fix ourselves. Psychologists can only show us how.
    I love when I get the feel good cycle. Just came out of a dip last week.
    Wise words, my friend.  The woman I worked with at our local college's Human Services department taught the concept of helping a person "pick up their own penny". 

    She discovered this metaphor one day while on a picnic with her young niece.  She notice the little girl was sitting near a penny that was on the lawn and she knew the girl would be thrilled to find the penny.  She thought, "I could pick up the penny and give it to the girl but she would be so much more happy if she discovered it on her own."  So she coaxed the girl closer to the penny and when the girl noticed it, she picked it up and with a gleam in her eye exclaimed, "Look!  I found a penny!".  The girl found the penny on her own rather than simply having it handed to her.  She had the confidence of making a discovery one her own (with unspoken subtle guidance from her aunt).

    So this instructor then used that metaphor for helping people find solutions to their difficulties.  She showed how it is far more valuable for a person to "pick up their own penny" than it is to have someone simply offer a prescribed solution.  That kind of counseling is more difficult, but far more effective.
    That's Salingeresque.
    Interesting!  Which story?
    The Catcher in the Rye and "A Perfect Day for Bananafish" come to mind.
    Bananafish!  Man, what a story!
    The reason I never give up hope is because everything is so basically hopeless.
    -Anne Lamott
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.



  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 23,247
    brianlux said:
    Thanks, everyone. I used to think of therapy as just talking to someone (who was being paid and thus had to listen, lol). Sure I felt better but it didn’t help me function any better. Now I’m going to therapy to learn actual skills. I’m open to trying things but I’m also older, wiser, know myself better and am not afraid to speak up. For example, I’m happy to try meditation to relax but I know it’s not easy for me and I will need more concrete tools to use when situations come up. I mean, if I’m talking to someone and get anxious, I can’t just sit down and start meditating, can I? Though that would be funny. I may do that someday. 

    I mostly just have a ton of PTSD to work through and then learn to do things, process things in a different way. I need to reprogram myself, rather than continue with the programming that my mother, my childhood has left me with. This way, I can hopefully make better choices in the future and live a fulfilling life. 

    My challenge will be finding someone that can listen, not judge, at least try to relate or understand, be able to handle my particular sensitivity and beliefs, put up with my twisted sense of humor, and still be very direct with me and call me on my shit. That’s a tall order to fill. 


    Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day. :)
    What made you feel she wasn't the right therapist for you?
    Mostly just a “gut feeling”. Something told me she wouldn’t be able to relate to me at all. 
    I've had 2 psychologists try to reprogram me and have both failed.
    My upbringing and my abusive mother have severely fucked my brain up.
    Same here. But I’ve also done a lot of self reflecting and I think I’ve learned what makes me tick. Now I just need confirmation (or not, either way) and tools to help me fix my problems. Maybe that’s the difference...I used to want them to fix me and now I just want them to show me the tools so I can fix myself. I have to find value in myself and fight for myself before anyone else will do that for me. 

    Edit: I should add that the reason I sound all “rah-rah-let’s do this shit” is because I’m in an exceedingly good mood the past two days. I wonder if that’s just part of my depression cycle or if it has to do with the active things I’ve been doing to dig myself out of this hole this past week...drinking water, eating better, taking vitamins, exercising, spending more time outdoors, talking to you fine folks. :)
    Talk about health anxiety! I’m terrified this will end any day now and I’ll be back in that pit of doom. But I’m trying to not think about it and just forge ahead. 
    All the best to you.
    We have to fix ourselves. Psychologists can only show us how.
    I love when I get the feel good cycle. Just came out of a dip last week.
    Wise words, my friend.  The woman I worked with at our local college's Human Services department taught the concept of helping a person "pick up their own penny". 

    She discovered this metaphor one day while on a picnic with her young niece.  She notice the little girl was sitting near a penny that was on the lawn and she knew the girl would be thrilled to find the penny.  She thought, "I could pick up the penny and give it to the girl but she would be so much more happy if she discovered it on her own."  So she coaxed the girl closer to the penny and when the girl noticed it, she picked it up and with a gleam in her eye exclaimed, "Look!  I found a penny!".  The girl found the penny on her own rather than simply having it handed to her.  She had the confidence of making a discovery one her own (with unspoken subtle guidance from her aunt).

    So this instructor then used that metaphor for helping people find solutions to their difficulties.  She showed how it is far more valuable for a person to "pick up their own penny" than it is to have someone simply offer a prescribed solution.  That kind of counseling is more difficult, but far more effective.
    Very nice metaphor.
    To add to that, the person fixing themselves will feel more empowered and develop a sense of control over their circumstances.
    Both which are vital to overcoming depression and anxiety and another other mental disorder.
    Having a sense of not having control leads to apathy, learned helplessness and ultimately depression.
    Yeah!  For sure.  Well said!
    The reason I never give up hope is because everything is so basically hopeless.
    -Anne Lamott
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.



  • curmudgeonesscurmudgeoness San DiegoPosts: 2,174
    Bumping this because it IS hard work, sometimes literally.
    People wonder why I run so much; I tell them I am like a shark, I have to keep moving.
    I went for a run today, 10+ miles, sunny, beautiful day. I came home and as my heart rate dropped, so did my mood.
    All those who seek to destroy the liberties of a democratic nation ought to know that war is the surest and shortest means to accomplish it.
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 23,247
    Bumping this because it IS hard work, sometimes literally.
    People wonder why I run so much; I tell them I am like a shark, I have to keep moving.
    I went for a run today, 10+ miles, sunny, beautiful day. I came home and as my heart rate dropped, so did my mood.
    Good job curmudgeon- movement is life!  I have to move a lot to day to keep on track.
    The reason I never give up hope is because everything is so basically hopeless.
    -Anne Lamott
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.



  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 2,475
    edited March 8
    Bumping this because it IS hard work, sometimes literally.
    People wonder why I run so much; I tell them I am like a shark, I have to keep moving.
    I went for a run today, 10+ miles, sunny, beautiful day. I came home and as my heart rate dropped, so did my mood.
    Truth. Why must we struggle 24 hrs a day. I for one am on the ledge as i sway with the wind ... which way to fall windowsill
    Post edited by lastexitlondon on
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 920
    This is a great thread ...

    i went through anxiety and depression program...

    this is correct, a pill alone will not solve the problem, people who suffer from anxiety and depression need counselling and CBT education.

    suffering from these ailments are treatable ... but only if you trust the process.  

    It it is hard work suffering from mental health issues, there still to much stigma attached, like we choose to have anxiety and depression, we don’t choose...we learn to cope, it’s a daily struggle for me...even worse for me, in the last 6 years I lost my mother, brother, am off work on long term unpaid leave due to a disability that I’m currently fighting my insurance company to get my rightful benefits that I paid into for 20+ years, then I was hit by a car while crossing the street in December and then on New Years Eve my left me...yes,  pathetic I know, I’m not looking for sympathy.  Im just so grateful that my father has been there for me.  I do not have a big social life...odd as it sounds, I prefer solitary hobbies...

    the op is so correct, it is hard work, in my case hard work wasn’t enough, but I’m going to keep trying my best, I’m far from perfect, I’ll admit it...we all are, all we ca do is try...


  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 23,247
    This is a great thread ...

    i went through anxiety and depression program...

    this is correct, a pill alone will not solve the problem, people who suffer from anxiety and depression need counselling and CBT education.

    suffering from these ailments are treatable ... but only if you trust the process.  

    It it is hard work suffering from mental health issues, there still to much stigma attached, like we choose to have anxiety and depression, we don’t choose...we learn to cope, it’s a daily struggle for me...even worse for me, in the last 6 years I lost my mother, brother, am off work on long term unpaid leave due to a disability that I’m currently fighting my insurance company to get my rightful benefits that I paid into for 20+ years, then I was hit by a car while crossing the street in December and then on New Years Eve my left me...yes,  pathetic I know, I’m not looking for sympathy.  Im just so grateful that my father has been there for me.  I do not have a big social life...odd as it sounds, I prefer solitary hobbies...

    the op is so correct, it is hard work, in my case hard work wasn’t enough, but I’m going to keep trying my best, I’m far from perfect, I’ll admit it...we all are, all we ca do is try...


    Oh man, Meltdown, you've had more than your fair share of hard knocks!  I'm sorry to hear that.  I admire your tenacity in doing the hard work to cope with depression and anxiety and the wisdom to learn how.  That's great that you father has stuck by your side.  Good man!

    I totally agree that counseling is a wise course of action.  I am cautious, however, about counselors in general.  I've had counselors that range from great (especially learning about client-centered therapy with good coping methods being the key) to fair (nice, well meaning people who had limited skill) to terrible (a psychiatrist who guessed that my hearing issues are a form of schizophrenia- which they are not and gave me these meds, then sent me on my way.  The meds spaced me out super badly and on the way back to where I was staying, I very nearly drove off a very high cliff.  The next time I saw him I started talking about how upset I was that my then wife suddenly split on me and he yelled at me saying, "I don't want to talk about that!".  I told him to fuck off and went out slamming the door behind me.)

    So kudos, Meltdown, for hanging in there and keeping at it.  I hope things are getting better for you.  It sounds to me like you deserve that!
    The reason I never give up hope is because everything is so basically hopeless.
    -Anne Lamott
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.



  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 920
    brianlux said:
    This is a great thread ...

    i went through anxiety and depression program...

    this is correct, a pill alone will not solve the problem, people who suffer from anxiety and depression need counselling and CBT education.

    suffering from these ailments are treatable ... but only if you trust the process.  

    It it is hard work suffering from mental health issues, there still to much stigma attached, like we choose to have anxiety and depression, we don’t choose...we learn to cope, it’s a daily struggle for me...even worse for me, in the last 6 years I lost my mother, brother, am off work on long term unpaid leave due to a disability that I’m currently fighting my insurance company to get my rightful benefits that I paid into for 20+ years, then I was hit by a car while crossing the street in December and then on New Years Eve my left me...yes,  pathetic I know, I’m not looking for sympathy.  Im just so grateful that my father has been there for me.  I do not have a big social life...odd as it sounds, I prefer solitary hobbies...

    the op is so correct, it is hard work, in my case hard work wasn’t enough, but I’m going to keep trying my best, I’m far from perfect, I’ll admit it...we all are, all we ca do is try...


    Oh man, Meltdown, you've had more than your fair share of hard knocks!  I'm sorry to hear that.  I admire your tenacity in doing the hard work to cope with depression and anxiety and the wisdom to learn how.  That's great that you father has stuck by your side.  Good man!

    I totally agree that counseling is a wise course of action.  I am cautious, however, about counselors in general.  I've had counselors that range from great (especially learning about client-centered therapy with good coping methods being the key) to fair (nice, well meaning people who had limited skill) to terrible (a psychiatrist who guessed that my hearing issues are a form of schizophrenia- which they are not and gave me these meds, then sent me on my way.  The meds spaced me out super badly and on the way back to where I was staying, I very nearly drove off a very high cliff.  The next time I saw him I started talking about how upset I was that my then wife suddenly split on me and he yelled at me saying, "I don't want to talk about that!".  I told him to fuck off and went out slamming the door behind me.)

    So kudos, Meltdown, for hanging in there and keeping at it.  I hope things are getting better for you.  It sounds to me like you deserve that!
    Thank you Brian...as you know it’s not easy.  
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 23,247
    brianlux said:
    This is a great thread ...

    i went through anxiety and depression program...

    this is correct, a pill alone will not solve the problem, people who suffer from anxiety and depression need counselling and CBT education.

    suffering from these ailments are treatable ... but only if you trust the process.  

    It it is hard work suffering from mental health issues, there still to much stigma attached, like we choose to have anxiety and depression, we don’t choose...we learn to cope, it’s a daily struggle for me...even worse for me, in the last 6 years I lost my mother, brother, am off work on long term unpaid leave due to a disability that I’m currently fighting my insurance company to get my rightful benefits that I paid into for 20+ years, then I was hit by a car while crossing the street in December and then on New Years Eve my left me...yes,  pathetic I know, I’m not looking for sympathy.  Im just so grateful that my father has been there for me.  I do not have a big social life...odd as it sounds, I prefer solitary hobbies...

    the op is so correct, it is hard work, in my case hard work wasn’t enough, but I’m going to keep trying my best, I’m far from perfect, I’ll admit it...we all are, all we ca do is try...


    Oh man, Meltdown, you've had more than your fair share of hard knocks!  I'm sorry to hear that.  I admire your tenacity in doing the hard work to cope with depression and anxiety and the wisdom to learn how.  That's great that you father has stuck by your side.  Good man!

    I totally agree that counseling is a wise course of action.  I am cautious, however, about counselors in general.  I've had counselors that range from great (especially learning about client-centered therapy with good coping methods being the key) to fair (nice, well meaning people who had limited skill) to terrible (a psychiatrist who guessed that my hearing issues are a form of schizophrenia- which they are not and gave me these meds, then sent me on my way.  The meds spaced me out super badly and on the way back to where I was staying, I very nearly drove off a very high cliff.  The next time I saw him I started talking about how upset I was that my then wife suddenly split on me and he yelled at me saying, "I don't want to talk about that!".  I told him to fuck off and went out slamming the door behind me.)

    So kudos, Meltdown, for hanging in there and keeping at it.  I hope things are getting better for you.  It sounds to me like you deserve that!
    Thank you Brian...as you know it’s not easy.  
    No problem- hey, I get it.  Hang in there, man.
    The reason I never give up hope is because everything is so basically hopeless.
    -Anne Lamott
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.



  • i_lov_iti_lov_it Perth, Western AustraliaPosts: 3,898
    Bumping this because it IS hard work, sometimes literally.
    People wonder why I run so much; I tell them I am like a shark, I have to keep moving.
    I went for a run today, 10+ miles, sunny, beautiful day. I came home and as my heart rate dropped, so did my mood.
    Yes I agree with you curmudgeoness moving and exercise are so Important both Physically and Mentally...Nice work hope you are doing Good :)
    E.V. - "Music is a Weapon of Mass Construction"
    Perth-20th March 1998
    Perth-23rd February 2003
    Perth-25th November 2006
    Perth-14th November 2009
    E.V. - Perth-31st March, 1st April 2011
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 23,247
    That's pretty amazing and addresses something I have thought about for a long time.  I have often thought, "If only there we some way to tweak some of the neurons in my brain."  I've thought about this in regard to five specific conditions I struggle with: tinnitus, hyperacusis, vertigo, anxiety and depression.  The question is, how long before this fiber optics technique will be fully developed and how successful will it be.  Hard to say, but it sounds hopeful.
    The reason I never give up hope is because everything is so basically hopeless.
    -Anne Lamott
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.



  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 920
    brianlux said:
    That's pretty amazing and addresses something I have thought about for a long time.  I have often thought, "If only there we some way to tweak some of the neurons in my brain."  I've thought about this in regard to five specific conditions I struggle with: tinnitus, hyperacusis, vertigo, anxiety and depression.  The question is, how long before this fiber optics technique will be fully developed and how successful will it be.  Hard to say, but it sounds hopeful.
    I was in an anxiety program this past summer, the nurse I was dealing with swift the university of Michigan were also working better ways to diagnose depression and anxiety and better ways to to know if your  brain chemicals are messed up.  I’m just paraphrasing what she said, hope the info is correct.


  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 23,247
    brianlux said:
    That's pretty amazing and addresses something I have thought about for a long time.  I have often thought, "If only there we some way to tweak some of the neurons in my brain."  I've thought about this in regard to five specific conditions I struggle with: tinnitus, hyperacusis, vertigo, anxiety and depression.  The question is, how long before this fiber optics technique will be fully developed and how successful will it be.  Hard to say, but it sounds hopeful.
    I was in an anxiety program this past summer, the nurse I was dealing with swift the university of Michigan were also working better ways to diagnose depression and anxiety and better ways to to know if your  brain chemicals are messed up.  I’m just paraphrasing what she said, hope the info is correct.


    So good to know there are people working on this issue.  We could use the help.
    The reason I never give up hope is because everything is so basically hopeless.
    -Anne Lamott
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.



  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 920
    brianlux said:
    brianlux said:
    That's pretty amazing and addresses something I have thought about for a long time.  I have often thought, "If only there we some way to tweak some of the neurons in my brain."  I've thought about this in regard to five specific conditions I struggle with: tinnitus, hyperacusis, vertigo, anxiety and depression.  The question is, how long before this fiber optics technique will be fully developed and how successful will it be.  Hard to say, but it sounds hopeful.
    I was in an anxiety program this past summer, the nurse I was dealing with swift the university of Michigan were also working better ways to diagnose depression and anxiety and better ways to to know if your  brain chemicals are messed up.  I’m just paraphrasing what she said, hope the info is correct.


    So good to know there are people working on this issue.  We could use the help.
    I agree...
  • ShynerShyner Posts: 1,226
    With heroin problems,car accidents and loss of time with my children i feel the time has come for me to step up to the plate. 

    Praying for a home run. 

    Really could be the time i just have faith no matter what. 

    Honestly my name isn't Kevin
  • curmudgeonesscurmudgeoness San DiegoPosts: 2,174
    i_lov_it said:
    Bumping this because it IS hard work, sometimes literally.
    People wonder why I run so much; I tell them I am like a shark, I have to keep moving.
    I went for a run today, 10+ miles, sunny, beautiful day. I came home and as my heart rate dropped, so did my mood.
    Yes I agree with you curmudgeoness moving and exercise are so Important both Physically and Mentally...Nice work hope you are doing Good :)

    I've read several articles over the past week talking about how good exercise -- running in particular -- is for managing depression. There's a story in the latest Runners World, I read about a study on the effects of exercise on depression the other day. and today there's an essay in Slate about managing anxiety and depression through running.

    As I noted when I shared the Slate article today, and as I've noted before on my blog, I've never had a doctor ask me about my exercise habits (I have some chronic health issues, so I see doctors pretty regularly). They'll ask about drinking, smoking, drugs, and they're obsessed with weighing me (I am not and never have been overweight), but they never, ever ask about exercise. If I admit to having issues with depression, they will offer me meds; they do not ask me how I am managing my depression. If I tell them how much I exercise, it's pretty clear that they are not listening and/or comprehending (I work out, hard, for 18-20 hours/ week; this elicits a reaction from most people, LOL).

    On Instagram last week, I wrote: When people ask me why I run so much, I say: Because I can. And because I have to. Today, it took me eight miles to get the anxiety and depression under control. I ran the remaining few miles because I could.

    And, obviously, this isn't something that is unique to me. There are a lot of people out there who are wrangling their personal demons through exercise/ physical activity.

    I also find that there is regular, difficult, mental "work" (effort) required to conquer these things. I liken it to shoveling coal into a furnace; I am always shoveling. If I stop, my mood drops. I'm hoping that, with training, my mood will not require constant maintenance.
    All those who seek to destroy the liberties of a democratic nation ought to know that war is the surest and shortest means to accomplish it.
  • ShynerShyner Posts: 1,226
    Shyner said:
    With heroin problems,car accidents and loss of time with my children i feel the time has come for me to step up to the plate. 

    Praying for a home run. 

    Really could be the time i just have faith no matter what. 

    Honestly my name isn't Kevin
    Honestly my name is kevin

    Low
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