OK....I've deleted most of my e-mails and this was the only good joke one I had left.
When in New York, Kevin Rudd would always visit his favourite strip joint. (He said it helped him forget things.)
But, every time he walked in, one of the girls would call out "Two hundred bucks, and I'm yours!"
"Five bucks!" Rudd would fire back, just to shut her up.
Over the years this exchange between him and the same girl became a bit of a ritual. She'd yell "Two hundred bucks!" and he'd fire back "Five bucks!"
Then, on one recent visit to New York, Julia Gillard accompanied Rudd to his favourite strip joint.
As they approached the place, Rudd braced himself for "the usual offer" -- Julia would obviously wonder what it was all about. He figured he'd better have a darn good explanation for her.
As he and Julia walked in, Rudd tried very hard to avoid the dancer's eyes. But -- sure enough -- as they entered, the girl yelled out.
I was watching a new one on there the other day....can't remember what it was called.....something bout this fast singing guy??? It was stupid - this guy that does gigs singing hit songs really fast....anyway, the first song was 'Daughter' :eek:
LOL!! Excellent Thank goodness there weren't any Ho's or Horses this time :eek:
LMFAO!!!
but there is nothing better then a ho and a horse, especially when the ho manages to take the full length of the horse's di......wait that's the other video website i look at.
but there is nothing better then a ho and a horse, especially when the ho manages to take the full length of the horse's di......wait that's the other video website i look at.
Ewwwwww :( nothing good about a chick that has room for that :eek:
of course when there is mention of horse sex you would show up.
i just so happened to be watching telly, i felt an itch in my back right tether, gave it a little kick and a swoop with my tail, whinnied and here I am :D
Yep....we were missing you, so thought if we started talking about chicks having sex with horses, you'd come running
How's thangs chickadee?
It's thunder n lightening here....prolly should turn this thing off :eek:
Things are fine Kyl's, other than my back. Im having some serious issues with my lower back at the moment. Dunno whats going on. Might have to go see a chiro me thinks.
So its stormy there huh. ahhh, i love those nights!
Nothing but cool evenings here Hows the board going? How many times have you licked Ed's signature?
OK.....It's right here now and LOUD :eek: The lights were just flickering, so I think I had best turn the pute off :( I don't wanna risk having my modem explode AGAIN!
Things are fine Kyl's, other than my back. Im having some serious issues with my lower back at the moment. Dunno whats going on. Might have to go see a chiro me thinks.
So its stormy there huh. ahhh, i love those nights!
Nothing but cool evenings here Hows the board going? How many times have you licked Ed's signature?
Awwww hun.....not good. You're having a bad time what with your teeth and your back :( Welcome to old age
It is stormy. It's been hot here the last 3/4 days so it's nice. The nights have still been freezing though - I hate cold!
The boards going swell! And there are no signatures where his 'lap' used to lay, so the licking hasn't affected them
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.
He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation and leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that’s enough, I'll do the fucking dishes!"
Bored are ya petal? Me too, but i cant sit at this pc any longer.
Sorry to make is short and sweet. I have to lay down, fuck this!! :mad:
Hope you all have a good night Jammers.
Bored are ya petal? Me too, but i cant sit at this pc any longer.
Sorry to make is short and sweet. I have to lay down, fuck this!! :mad:
Hope you all have a good night Jammers.
Keep On Rockin
Something tells me that it's about time you get your 'better half' to give your back a nice massage
Bored are ya petal? Me too, but i cant sit at this pc any longer.
Sorry to make is short and sweet. I have to lay down, fuck this!! :mad:
Hope you all have a good night Jammers.
Keep On Rockin
G'Night Tig
Hope you wake up feeling a bit better.....or A LOT better Get onto that chiro hun!
Comments
When in New York, Kevin Rudd would always visit his favourite strip joint. (He said it helped him forget things.)
But, every time he walked in, one of the girls would call out "Two hundred bucks, and I'm yours!"
"Five bucks!" Rudd would fire back, just to shut her up.
Over the years this exchange between him and the same girl became a bit of a ritual. She'd yell "Two hundred bucks!" and he'd fire back "Five bucks!"
Then, on one recent visit to New York, Julia Gillard accompanied Rudd to his favourite strip joint.
As they approached the place, Rudd braced himself for "the usual offer" -- Julia would obviously wonder what it was all about. He figured he'd better have a darn good explanation for her.
As he and Julia walked in, Rudd tried very hard to avoid the dancer's eyes. But -- sure enough -- as they entered, the girl yelled out.
"See! That's what you get for five bucks!"
more Will Ferrell funnies
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/24dd4a855d
LOL!! Excellent
LMFAO!!!
but there is nothing better then a ho and a horse, especially when the ho manages to take the full length of the horse's di......wait that's the other video website i look at.
of course when there is mention of horse sex you would show up.
i just so happened to be watching telly, i felt an itch in my back right tether, gave it a little kick and a swoop with my tail, whinnied and here I am
How's thangs chickadee?
It's thunder n lightening here....prolly should turn this thing off :eek:
i don't even want to know what "Thing Thing" is.
but i'm assuming it's kinky.
don't worry....nothing kinky, just a typo . If I was talking about "thing thing" I woulda been turning "thing thing" on
FARK!!! :eek: That was a biggun :eek: Now Maddi's awake....grrrrr!
Things are fine Kyl's, other than my back. Im having some serious issues with my lower back at the moment. Dunno whats going on. Might have to go see a chiro me thinks.
So its stormy there huh. ahhh, i love those nights!
Nothing but cool evenings here
So Goodnight my precious's and sweet dreams! xoxo
It is stormy. It's been hot here the last 3/4 days so it's nice. The nights have still been freezing though - I hate cold!
The boards going swell! And there are no signatures where his 'lap' used to lay, so the licking hasn't affected them
OK....I'm really out now.
Take care!!!!!!
I am getting old.
LMFAO about the sigs on Lap area!! You dirty mole!
Take care in the storms Kyl.... get your candles out girl
Night xoxoxo
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.
He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation and leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that’s enough, I'll do the fucking dishes!"
hey Tig!! lower back pain? :(
storms there Kylie?
bo-ring here
Hi Rob Hi Stella
Bored are ya petal? Me too, but i cant sit at this pc any longer.
Sorry to make is short and sweet. I have to lay down, fuck this!! :mad:
Hope you all have a good night Jammers.
Keep On Rockin
Something tells me that it's about time you get your 'better half' to give your back a nice massage
Catch ya later Trudie!!
Sorry to tell you this Stella, but it is absolutely pissing down here and has been all day :( Fingers crossed for ya
hope you wake up feeling a little better Tig, with Rob on this one.. time for a massage!!
sweet dreams hun
ta Rob
i found out the gig on Saturday will go on even if it does rain, only flooding or a severe disaster could cancel it..
12 hours 'til KK
I think I had that in one of the very first e-mails I ever got and it's was stiil as funny
Hope you wake up feeling a bit better.....or A LOT better
Sam.. as i stalk you on facebook.. explain the fire pics!! you pyromaniac you :eek:
Will I have to start calling you Miss Pantsless? :eek: