The only problem is that when Sam got one it was at 5 in the morning. Those poor girls will be lucky to have time to scratch their arses by the time you land in Sydney. Sydney airport around lunchtime is very busy indeed
Was it THAT early?
Also....don't forget the 'Sammy Charm'
Hey Wozz???? What nights are you and Leish gonna stay in Brizzy?? I'll change out booking to a 2 bedroom (instead of 1) for those nights, if you're happy to stay with us. Sam mentioned that it had been mentioned the other night??
Well done Rob
We are gonna stay the friday - sunday... that way we can catch lost dogs as well Didn't know you had already booked... is that cool?
The only problem is that when Sam got one it was at 5 in the morning. Those poor girls will be lucky to have time to scratch their arses by the time you land in Sydney. Sydney airport around lunchtime is very busy indeed
Nope, first time was maybe 430 or 5 in the afternoon, second time was 8 30 ish in the morning. :D:D
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything."
His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blow job?"
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything."
His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blow job?"
"Oh, no! I never found her head."
:eek:
:eek:
LMFAO!!!! I nearly fell off my chair laughing then! SeriouslY....I'm sitting on it the wrong was and forgot the back is at my side, not behind me
It was the 3rd time I'd seen that picture and had only just realised that the MR logo was on the reel of tape. Wish I could tell the man, he'd be stoked, but he went away on holiday with his family today and won't be back till next Wednesday
LMFAO!!!! I nearly fell off my chair laughing then! SeriouslY....I'm sitting on it the wrong was and forgot the back is at my side, not behind me
Great joke!
It's a good one Here's another
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: 2 litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange juice, a head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee, a 250g pack of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selection that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
It was the 3rd time I'd seen that picture and had only just realised that the MR logo was on the reel of tape. Wish I could tell the man, he'd be stoked, but he went away on holiday with his family today and won't be back till next Wednesday
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: 2 litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange juice, a head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee, a 250g pack of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selection that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: 2 litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange juice, a head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee, a 250g pack of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selection that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, 'Cos you're ugly.'
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I had that in an e-mail a while back, but had forgotten it.......EXCELLENT!!!!
Following questions and answers were collated from last year's English GCSEs. (16 year olds)
Science
Q : Name the four seasons.
A : Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q : Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A : Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q : How is dew formed?
A : The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q : What is a planet?
A : A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q : What causes the tides in the oceans?
A : The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Sociology
Q : What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A : If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q : In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A : Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q : What are steroids?
A : Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology
Q : What happens to your body as you age?
A : When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q : What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A : He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q : Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A : Premature death.
Q : What is artificial insemination?
A : When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q : How can you delay milk turning sour?
A : Keep it in the cow.
Q : How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen.)
A : The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.
Q : What is the Fibula?
A : A small lie.
Q : What does "varicose" mean?
A : Nearby.
Q : What is the most common form of birth control?
A : Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q : Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A : The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q : What is a seizure?
A : A Roman emperor.
Q : What is a terminal illness?
A : When you are sick at the airport
Q : Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A : Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
English
Q : Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A : Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q : What does the word "benign" mean?
A : Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Technology
Q : What is a turbine?
A : Something an Arab wears on his head.
At the Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.
They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"
All of a sudden the lady stripped off her and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat! When he finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.
They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river. He asked the lady, "Up or Down?" There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.
This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day She said yes, and here they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in the river, and the elderly gentleman asked, "Up or Down?" The woman replied, "Down."
A little puzzled, the gentleman drove the boat down the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady, "Up or Down ? "She replied "Up."
This really confused the gentleman, so he asked, "What's the deal ? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down, you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing !"
She replied, "Well yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were "FUCK or DROWN"
It was the 3rd time I'd seen that picture and had only just realised that the MR logo was on the reel of tape. Wish I could tell the man, he'd be stoked, but he went away on holiday with his family today and won't be back till next Wednesday
it was the 1st thing i noticed when i saw the picture, i thought you woulda seen it, i woulda pointed it out ages ago.
Comments
Also....don't forget the 'Sammy Charm'
haha
how can i compete with that? looks like retail price for me
vitabrits has been quiet... i think he's been smoking lots lately :eek:
i know where i'll be at 6.30am that day.
We are gonna stay the friday - sunday... that way we can catch lost dogs as well
What about you Glenno??? What are you gonna do those nights....stay or get a taxi home??
What about the MR symbol on the tape spool?? :eek:
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything."
His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blow job?"
"Oh, no! I never found her head."
:eek:
Sorry.....shoulda looked into it before opening my big mouth
elaborate....does it mean something?
LMFAO!!!! I nearly fell off my chair laughing then! SeriouslY....I'm sitting on it the wrong was and forgot the back is at my side, not behind me
Great joke!
It was the 3rd time I'd seen that picture and had only just realised that the MR logo was on the reel of tape. Wish I could tell the man, he'd be stoked, but he went away on holiday with his family today and won't be back till next Wednesday
It's a good one
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: 2 litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange juice, a head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee, a 250g pack of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selection that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, 'Cos you're ugly.'
I'm just wondering where he went
:eek: hahaaa that one's oooooooold
VITABRITS :mad:
I had that in an e-mail a while back, but had forgotten it.......EXCELLENT!!!!
Still the same for me
Science
Q : Name the four seasons.
A : Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q : Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A : Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q : How is dew formed?
A : The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q : What is a planet?
A : A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q : What causes the tides in the oceans?
A : The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Sociology
Q : What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A : If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q : In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A : Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q : What are steroids?
A : Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology
Q : What happens to your body as you age?
A : When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q : What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A : He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q : Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A : Premature death.
Q : What is artificial insemination?
A : When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q : How can you delay milk turning sour?
A : Keep it in the cow.
Q : How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen.)
A : The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.
Q : What is the Fibula?
A : A small lie.
Q : What does "varicose" mean?
A : Nearby.
Q : What is the most common form of birth control?
A : Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q : Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A : The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q : What is a seizure?
A : A Roman emperor.
Q : What is a terminal illness?
A : When you are sick at the airport
Q : Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A : Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
English
Q : Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A : Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q : What does the word "benign" mean?
A : Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Technology
Q : What is a turbine?
A : Something an Arab wears on his head.
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
At the Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.
They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"
All of a sudden the lady stripped off her and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat! When he finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.
They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river. He asked the lady, "Up or Down?" There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.
This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day She said yes, and here they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in the river, and the elderly gentleman asked, "Up or Down?" The woman replied, "Down."
A little puzzled, the gentleman drove the boat down the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady, "Up or Down ? "She replied "Up."
This really confused the gentleman, so he asked, "What's the deal ? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down, you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing !"
She replied, "Well yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were "FUCK or DROWN"
it was the 1st thing i noticed when i saw the picture, i thought you woulda seen it, i woulda pointed it out ages ago.