PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

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  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 18,355
    Matts3221 said:
    mickeyrat said:
    Matts3221 said:
    Hobbes said:
    Celebrating 13 years clean and sober today.

    "And if hope could grow from dirt like me. It can be done."


    Amazing , all the love in the world to you and everyone else. One Day , One Week , One Year , One Decade. You should be proud and celebrate every day.

    I hope it is ok with everyone that I post on this tread , although not an addict nor having to ever go thru recovery but with my wife having gone thru it and standing by her every step of the day ( 5 years , 5 months , 24 days ) I just love to help cheer anyone on that goes thru it. I love sending her a text with how many days she has been sober. Every day is something everyone should be proud of.

    by what mechanism did she find works for her?


    While her vice was oxy's so I cannot translate that drinking.

    She had decided that she wanted to quit ( I think this is a big piece ) , she also said she said she felt like I had saved her ( although I still tell her she gets all the credit for doing what she did )

    I think the biggest thing other than NA meetings , consoling and therapy was that she has a big team behind her. When she first got clean between my family there were 8 of us taking shifts for the first six months , so if she woke up at 2am and felt like she needed to use she could call the person whom for lack of a better word was on shift that night.

    Everyday everyone would send her texts or calls about how proud we were and to celebrate the day  at the same time letting her know even if she slipped she could be honest and we would keep supporting her.

    I really thinking having a team or squad behind you is huge and I know that not everyone can have that , I don't know what her outcome would have been if she was alone or did not have a group of people whom she could share everything with and not have anyone judge her.

    not sure if that answered the question or not but that was what worked for her.

    aside from the awesome support she has around her, was she just attending the NA meetings or was/is she working the steps in that program?


    just curious. there are any number of ways to get and stay sober/clean.  Whatever works, you know? The result is the THING........

    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 424

    She was attending the N/A meetings , not following the program to a T , after a while she did find some solace in the fact that she would have those new to the program be mentored by her. Having issues with getting thru the first week she likes to speak to those people and let them know it is possible.

    She is thinking about a career change at this point in her life to become a counselor , I was only a tiny bit nervous about this but she said it only encourages her to stay sober.

    She has some old photos she will look at once and a while when a craving is coming on strong and she said those help because in her head she is saying that although she may be craving it those old photos remind her of how unhappy she was at that time.

    I know things are different for everyone in regards to how copy / stay sober / what motivates and what does not.   

  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 18,355
    cool shit. So unknown to me, AAWS has some kind of facility in Kansas City Kansas. My company handled a shipment from them to a place called Recovery Emporium.

    I was the driver to get it to the terminal of ours that will deliver today.....
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 25,891
    long time listener; first time caller.

    I have drunk booze for decades....and decades...and decades.

    three weekends in a row were kind of shitshows. first, I got shitfaced at a concert....scraped my truck, leaving the parking lot (NEVER should have been driving )....next weekend ; 3 drunken days in SF (fun, but drunken)....following weekend, shitfaced at my SIL’s wedding.
    luckily, I was always a happy drunk, but still....

    inspired by a buddy who is two years sober, following years of a 12 pack per night “habit,” I quit drinking 19 days ago. I have been around 5-6 “drinking situations” since. no 12 steps for me; I just made the decision. “higher power”? I am my own highest power. I truly think I am done for good.
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast OhioPosts: 9,866
    Wobbie said:
    long time listener; first time caller.

    I have drunk booze for decades....and decades...and decades.

    three weekends in a row were kind of shitshows. first, I got shitfaced at a concert....scraped my truck, leaving the parking lot (NEVER should have been driving )....next weekend ; 3 drunken days in SF (fun, but drunken)....following weekend, shitfaced at my SIL’s wedding.
    luckily, I was always a happy drunk, but still....

    inspired by a buddy who is two years sober, following years of a 12 pack per night “habit,” I quit drinking 19 days ago. I have been around 5-6 “drinking situations” since. no 12 steps for me; I just made the decision. “higher power”? I am my own highest power. I truly think I am done for good.
    :hug:  
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 25,891
    a few pages back, hedonist posted a video by a sober band.

    here’s my favorite newly sober artist....jason isbell, formerly of the drive by truckers. dude used to drink a fifth of jack at every show. they threw him out of the truckers, due to his drinking. he is a badass. in fact, I just saw him last week. we were both sober :smiley:

    https://youtu.be/Pd3TZjmR9g4
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 21,637
    Here’s to those who do what’s best for ourselves.

    Recognition is easy.

    Action?  Usually not so much.

    Good on ya, Wob.  And I like the music.

    Much stwength :)


  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 6,430
    Good luck Wob. Where there is a will, there is a way.
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BCPosts: 11,276
    Wobbie said:
    long time listener; first time caller.

    I have drunk booze for decades....and decades...and decades.

    three weekends in a row were kind of shitshows. first, I got shitfaced at a concert....scraped my truck, leaving the parking lot (NEVER should have been driving )....next weekend ; 3 drunken days in SF (fun, but drunken)....following weekend, shitfaced at my SIL’s wedding.
    luckily, I was always a happy drunk, but still....

    inspired by a buddy who is two years sober, following years of a 12 pack per night “habit,” I quit drinking 19 days ago. I have been around 5-6 “drinking situations” since. no 12 steps for me; I just made the decision. “higher power”? I am my own highest power. I truly think I am done for good.
    Big hug, Wob. 

    But don’t let it go to your head! ;) 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • HobbesHobbes Pacific NorthwestPosts: 4,425
    Wob :plus_one:
  • SD48277SD48277 Woodstock, NYPosts: 12,229
    Rob, :hug: 
    ELITIST FUK
  • njnancynjnancy Northern New JerseyPosts: 4,968
    We're  all pulling for you Rob. Please share whenever you want.  Non judgment zone.  

    Happy first weeks of sobriety! 😊
  • H.ChinaskiH.Chinaski Brooklyn, NYPosts: 1,532
    Almost 5 months sober. No 12 stops or AA for me... not yet anyways as i'm not finding it as difficult as i thought it might be. Proud of myself for putting the bottle down. It had to happen!
    Pine Knob, MI Lollapalooza 1992 / Soldier Field, Chicago 1995 / Savage Hall, Toledo 1996 / Palace, Detroit 1998 / Palace, Detroit 2000 / Pine Knob, MI 2003 / Showbox, Seattle 2004 / MSG, NYC 2008 / Key Arena I & II, Seattle 2009 / Eddie Vedder Beacon, NYC 2011 / Eddie Vedder Benaroya, Hall Seattle 2011 / Barclays, Brooklyn I &II 2013 / Wells Fargo, Philadelphia II 2013 / Wuhlheide, Berlin, Germany 2014 / Wells Fargo, Philadelphia 1 2016 / Madison Square Garden, NYC 2 2016 / Wrigley 2, Chicago 2016/ Fenway 1, Boston 2018/
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 21,637
    Congratulations!  Just shy of 16 months here, and I've been to one AA meeting, a while back.  It's nice to know it's there should I need it, but thankfully (and surprisingly) feel my own strength is now my own higher power.

    No matter how we find it or from where it stems, our will will persevere.

    Just do your best!
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 25,891
    Almost 5 months sober. No 12 stops or AA for me... not yet anyways as i'm not finding it as difficult as i thought it might be. Proud of myself for putting the bottle down. It had to happen!

    same with me. just read the first “step”....I don’t agree with that at all....I am NOT powerless. after 3 beers, yes, but not powerless to just not “get going.” honestly, drinking had just become a total routine for me. I was drinking 6 days a week and the non-drinking day was always a hungover waste of my life. the fact that this is my third straight non-drinking FRIDAY NIGHT is amazing, even to me.

    I’m not judging or discounting anyone who finds peace or success with the 12 steps....it’s just not the way I’m gonna go.
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 18,355
    edited September 2019
    Wobbie said:
    Almost 5 months sober. No 12 stops or AA for me... not yet anyways as i'm not finding it as difficult as i thought it might be. Proud of myself for putting the bottle down. It had to happen!

    same with me. just read the first “step”....I don’t agree with that at all....I am NOT powerless. after 3 beers, yes, but not powerless to just not “get going.” honestly, drinking had just become a total routine for me. I was drinking 6 days a week and the non-drinking day was always a hungover waste of my life. the fact that this is my third straight non-drinking FRIDAY NIGHT is amazing, even to me.

    I’m not judging or discounting anyone who finds peace or success with the 12 steps....it’s just not the way I’m gonna go.
    you read the first step from the outline?

    IN the book on page 30 paragraph 2 the first 2 sentences are as follows...
    "We learned we had to concede to our innermost selves we were alcoholic. This is the first step in recovery.

    As defined by AA alcoholism is a question of choice and control, or lack thereof. Once I start I dont know when I'll stop  or what will happen and I almost always start

    The actual work is a bit different than those 12 numbered sentences.
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 25,891
    I could concede to page 30.

    again, I think the road to recovery probably takes many different paths.
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 18,355
    Wobbie said:
    I could concede to page 30.

    again, I think the road to recovery probably takes many different paths.
      absolutely it does. Any number of ways to get and stay sober. The book and org recognize that. All too often a member of makes the false or incomplete claim that AA is the only way. False in that the literature doesnt make that assertion and incomplete because FOR THEM AA may be the only way.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 18,355
    edited September 2019
    Wobbie said:
    I could concede to page 30.

    again, I think the road to recovery probably takes many different paths.
    just keep it simple. just worry about staying sober today. tomorrow and beyond arent here yet and will take care of themselves in due course.
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • kce8kce8 Posts: 1,593

    And don't forget to be incredibly proud of yourself, every f..king single day! 
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 18,355
    edited September 2019
    for those who are able to make the decision and be able to follow through, good on ya. its awesome.
    I would still encourage reading some of our literature anyway.  You may find benefit to your journey without formally being a member and doing this work.  Big Book , the 12 and 12 and the living sober book. you can be 12 step adjacent, if you will.

    for many of you , its just a matter of breaking that routine. for others these steps are life giving.

    either way, the thread exists to share experience and offer support where needed.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 25,891
    yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

    BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast OhioPosts: 9,866
    Wobbie said:
    yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

    BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.
    So many people cannot see that in themselves. 
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 18,355
    deadendp said:
    Wobbie said:
    yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

    BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.
    So many people cannot see that in themselves. 
    A Judge usually is though. eventually.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 25,891
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    Wobbie said:
    yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

    BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.
    So many people cannot see that in themselves. 
    A Judge usually is though. eventually.

    :lol:
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 25,891
    mickey and others - do you have other “crutches”?

    I chewed skoal for 30+ years. I git cancer (not oral) in 2011 and quit. I started up again in the past 2-3 years. I can envision my chew habit escalating...
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 21,637
    Wobbie said:
    yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

    BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.
    Amen to this, Wob.  I was drinking responsibly, I thought, until I realized I'd been wearing blinders, and being irreparably irresponsible to the one who matters more than anyone to me - myself.

    As to crutches?  Smoking tobacco, still.  I love it and while I've cut down a lot, I currently have no plans to quit.

    And you know about my long-term cannabinoidical relationship :innocent:
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 18,355
    Wobbie said:
    mickey and others - do you have other “crutches”?

    I chewed skoal for 30+ years. I git cancer (not oral) in 2011 and quit. I started up again in the past 2-3 years. I can envision my chew habit escalating...
    cigarettes were the first thing I picked up at 13 and the last thing I put down almost exactly 30 yrs later at 43.

    not sure where you are at age and health/weight wise, but do watch your eating habits. The weight creep had me now about 80 lbs over whats most comfortable for me.  50-60 of which came after I quit 8 yrs ago.

    portion control.......
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 25,891
    age is old.

    health is good.

    weight is below optimal.
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
  • njnancynjnancy Northern New JerseyPosts: 4,968
    hedonist said:
    Wobbie said:
    yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

    BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.
    Amen to this, Wob.  I was drinking responsibly, I thought, until I realized I'd been wearing blinders, and being irreparably irresponsible to the one who matters more than anyone to me - myself.

    As to crutches?  Smoking tobacco, still.  I love it and while I've cut down a lot, I currently have no plans to quit.

    And you know about my long-term cannabinoidical relationship :innocent:
    I used to think everyone was looking at me when watching TV & a "drink responsibly" commercial would come on. Red flag. 

     I started smoking (& drinking) around 14. I smoked for 20 years after I got sober. AA meetings were one of the few places I could smoke openly as most everyone else did,  & heavily.  I quit smoking July 2017 which i never imagined i would do. I figured I'd passed all the "milestones " but my doctor told me to try e cigarettes.  I did both for  awhile & then just didn't buy cigarettes. I still vape,  keeping my eye on all the news about it.  My doctor is a pulmonary specialist & has told me not to stop at risk of starting cigs again. My 2nd precautionary lung scan is next month which is a scary reminder about smoking. 

    Im a coffee addict, all day,  every day & can be a carbohydrate addict but I only indulge on occasion cause it puts weight on real quick. . 

    If I had money I would definitely use retail therapy but I don't & I'm not a gambler. 

    I use meditation,  writing, reading,  yoga, naps, gardening. I did a lot of outdoor stuff in my early sobriety & did a lot of cooking & baking. I am a prodigious reader. I started doing cross stitch & got real skilled at  it. 

    I've seen  a lot of people turn to exercise as a healthy addiction.  Not me. 

    I got pregnant during my first year of sobriety & my son definitely filled that hole in my soul that booze had. Being a single mom definitely also filled my need for gratification that I no longer got from a career. 

    I had a hell of a time getting sober & what I personally got from AA was a sense of family (after I stopped thinking it was a cult that I didn't belong in). I had never found so many people who I related with about drinking & could even laugh at the darkest of memories. People who knew me my whole life couldn't relate on this part of my life.  Took away that feeling of being "the only one".

     It also gave me  a sense of structure since I had just become disabled & no longer was on anyone's clock.  Or had to leave the house,  so that helped greatly. 

    The rest came with time.

    And life has had its ups & lots of downs. Im  dually diagnosed so I have therapy & my struggles are with the non drinking part of my status.  They affect my life greatly at times. But nothing is worth picking up again. Nothing. This is who I am.
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