Dying alone

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2018

mcgruff10 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

single and 33.
Can't afford concert right now.

I got divorced at 32, have faith bud. Life gets better!

Thank you.
I have never had a girlfriend. Lost hope a long time ago.

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2018

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

bootlegger10 said:

Pretty morbid stuff. I'm 36 and single. If I don't get married and have kids I won't be relying on my nieces and nephews to take care of me so I'm going to have to save up some cash. I need to factor in the cost of at home care or assisted living in my retirement plan.
Personally, when I get to the point where I can't travel, golf, or get around on my own and don't have a spouse or kids/grandkids to care about, I'm not sure how excited I'll be to hang around and watch Netflix. Easy to say that now at 36.
One thing I am seriously thinking about is early retirement. You hear all the time people dying of cancer, heart attacks or getting dementia shortly after retirement. There are no guarantees. I want to use the money I'm earning now to enjoy life when I'm healthy and not work all the time and use the earnings to pay for doctor bills in the future. If the money runs out there will be government handouts I'm sure.

Obviously pace yourself, but your approach is solid! There are no guarantees. I tell any of my friends that 'can't afford a mountain bike' or 'can't afford to go to a concert'... that they can't take their money to the grave with them. I tell them to save their money so when they pass early... their widowed wife can shack up with some bum who can go spend their savings on fun stuff.

And hey... I turned 50 this year. I feel 20. I listen to my music loud and I listen to heavy music. I work out as much as I can (running, mountain biking in the summer, cross country skiing in the winter, and the gym when I cannot do any of those things). I golf when I want. I go to concerts when I want. I basically do whatever I want.

What I'm saying is... 50 is young. I wouldn't have thought so at 30, but it is. Hell... I'm thinking 70 is still young. I'm going to keep doing the things I'm doing now until I simply cannot any more.

OP... you gotta get yourself to a better place! I've followed your struggles on these forums. I recognize you are fighting some demons. Don't let them get the best of you. What I would say to you is 'fake it till you make it'. Wake up tomorrow and play the part of a confident, energetic, fun guy... until you become one for real.

Thank you.
I hate and struggle faking.

lastexitlondon · January 2018

Speak to women the same as you would a good friend and if you are real and humble you will be friends with people that will develop if you are open. Love sometimes happens but try not to look for it. Remember to be yourself I guess is what i mean.

Spiritual_Chaos · January 2018

So this has turned into a "i cant find love" thread?

Spiritual_Chaos · January 2018

tempo_n_groove said:

I'll die alone. Or maybe with a cat?

I'll die with my PJ socks though. I'll always have those, lol!

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/ELUiI7RbjHD4Q/giphy.gif

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2018

lastexitlondon said:

Speak to women the same as you would a good friend and if you are real and humble you will be friends with people that will develop if you are open. Love sometimes happens but try not to look for it. Remember to be yourself I guess is what i mean.

Thanks mate.
Shyness kills me.

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2018

Spiritual_Chaos said:

So this has turned into a "i cant find love" thread?

Sorry for derailing my own thread.
Back on topic.
I only have immediate family here, I don't get along with mum, I am estranged from one sister, other sister has her own worries, I am single and seem unable to form relationships with women, I only have one friend I actually speak to often and see regularly, the others I only hear from online here and there. Having said that, the way it looks I will be on my own when I finally move out of my parents' home. I'll be living alone in a house or unit or apartment, won't hear from family much. I don't know, I just fear this future for me. I will be like Obi Wan Kenobi, a strange old hermit that lives somewhere secluded.

tweedyfanjen · January 2018

amethgr8 said:

It's sad that he could not (maybe) move on to the next chapter of life after work, or maybe he didn't want to. Like how the press/society coins it as "lonely" death, maybe he wanted to be alone, maybe he didn't like people. I don't have kids, when I go, I'll go, and wherever I am I will be on the earth where I began.

How old do you have to be, to be considered a cougar? What is the name for older men called that date younger women?

Lucky.

tweedyfanjen · January 2018

After my train wreck of a relationship ended a few months ago, I've realized I'm just happier being single. My dog loves me.

amethgr8 · January 2018

Relationships are work. If you want them we have to work for them. Family and friends try and challenge who we are and hopefully we grow from it.

Fake it till you make it-works!

I am not that concerned about dying alone as long as I can get out the day before or have a full life up to that time. I don't know that I'm that concerned with those that may have to clean up my passing, that's the way it goes.

I think it's assumptive to assume the man in the article was lonely.

Thirty Bills Unpaid · January 2018

hedonist said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

bootlegger10 said:

Pretty morbid stuff. I'm 36 and single. If I don't get married and have kids I won't be relying on my nieces and nephews to take care of me so I'm going to have to save up some cash. I need to factor in the cost of at home care or assisted living in my retirement plan.
Personally, when I get to the point where I can't travel, golf, or get around on my own and don't have a spouse or kids/grandkids to care about, I'm not sure how excited I'll be to hang around and watch Netflix. Easy to say that now at 36.
One thing I am seriously thinking about is early retirement. You hear all the time people dying of cancer, heart attacks or getting dementia shortly after retirement. There are no guarantees. I want to use the money I'm earning now to enjoy life when I'm healthy and not work all the time and use the earnings to pay for doctor bills in the future. If the money runs out there will be government handouts I'm sure.

Obviously pace yourself, but your approach is solid! There are no guarantees. I tell any of my friends that 'can't afford a mountain bike' or 'can't afford to go to a concert'... that they can't take their money to the grave with them. I tell them to save their money so when they pass early... their widowed wife can shack up with some bum who can go spend their savings on fun stuff.

And hey... I turned 50 this year. I feel 20. I listen to my music loud and I listen to heavy music. I work out as much as I can (running, mountain biking in the summer, cross country skiing in the winter, and the gym when I cannot do any of those things). I golf when I want. I go to concerts when I want. I basically do whatever I want.

What I'm saying is... 50 is young. I wouldn't have thought so at 30, but it is. Hell... I'm thinking 70 is still young. I'm going to keep doing the things I'm doing now until I simply cannot any more.

OP... you gotta get yourself to a better place! I've followed your struggles on these forums. I recognize you are fighting some demons. Don't let them get the best of you. What I would say to you is 'fake it till you make it'. Wake up tomorrow and play the part of a confident, energetic, fun guy... until you become one for real.

Hell to the yeah, Thirty. I'm coming on three years ahead of you, husband is over seven years younger than I, and really....fuck it. Numbers mean shit in the end.

It's about the love you make, and hopefully take. And give.

Timelines? They're not dictated.

word

CM189191 · January 2018

tweedyfanjen said:

After my train wreck of a relationship ended a few months ago, I've realized I'm just happier being single. My dog loves me.

...puppies and peanut butter...

rgambs · January 2018

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

So this has turned into a "i cant find love" thread?

Sorry for derailing my own thread.
Back on topic.
I only have immediate family here, I don't get along with mum, I am estranged from one sister, other sister has her own worries, I am single and seem unable to form relationships with women, I only have one friend I actually speak to often and see regularly, the others I only hear from online here and there. Having said that, the way it looks I will be on my own when I finally move out of my parents' home. I'll be living alone in a house or unit or apartment, won't hear from family much. I don't know, I just fear this future for me. I will be like Obi Wan Kenobi, a strange old hermit that lives somewhere secluded.

I'm about to fly to Australia and wing-man you up into the air. You get a little wind in your sails and you'll be off to the races.

Fake it till you make is good advice. I prefer to think of it as "make it so in your mind until everyone else catches up and then you've made it", but there's no ring to that.

KC138045 · January 2018

Thoughts_Arrive said:

mcgruff10 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

single and 33.
Can't afford concert right now.

I got divorced at 32, have faith bud. Life gets better!

Thank you.
I have never had a girlfriend. Lost hope a long time ago.

Sounds like you need to save as much as you can and get to one of the stadium shows. Get yourself in GA and meet yourself a nice American sheila.

dignin · January 2018

I thought prostitution was legal in Australia? That seems like a as good a place as any to start.

If not take KC's advice and come to the Missoula show and I volunteer to be your wingman.

stuckinline · January 2018

dignin said:
If not take KC's advice and come to the Missoula show and I volunteer to be your wingman.

Thoughts Arrive, go to a show, hit up the pre-party. Go without any expectations other than to enjoy good music.
Pearl Jam fans are some of the nicest, most generous people you will ever meet!

HughFreakingDillon · January 2018

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

bootlegger10 said:

Pretty morbid stuff. I'm 36 and single. If I don't get married and have kids I won't be relying on my nieces and nephews to take care of me so I'm going to have to save up some cash. I need to factor in the cost of at home care or assisted living in my retirement plan.
Personally, when I get to the point where I can't travel, golf, or get around on my own and don't have a spouse or kids/grandkids to care about, I'm not sure how excited I'll be to hang around and watch Netflix. Easy to say that now at 36.
One thing I am seriously thinking about is early retirement. You hear all the time people dying of cancer, heart attacks or getting dementia shortly after retirement. There are no guarantees. I want to use the money I'm earning now to enjoy life when I'm healthy and not work all the time and use the earnings to pay for doctor bills in the future. If the money runs out there will be government handouts I'm sure.

Obviously pace yourself, but your approach is solid! There are no guarantees. I tell any of my friends that 'can't afford a mountain bike' or 'can't afford to go to a concert'... that they can't take their money to the grave with them. I tell them to save their money so when they pass early... their widowed wife can shack up with some bum who can go spend their savings on fun stuff.

And hey... I turned 50 this year. I feel 20. I listen to my music loud and I listen to heavy music. I work out as much as I can (running, mountain biking in the summer, cross country skiing in the winter, and the gym when I cannot do any of those things). I golf when I want. I go to concerts when I want. I basically do whatever I want.

What I'm saying is... 50 is young. I wouldn't have thought so at 30, but it is. Hell... I'm thinking 70 is still young. I'm going to keep doing the things I'm doing now until I simply cannot any more.

OP... you gotta get yourself to a better place! I've followed your struggles on these forums. I recognize you are fighting some demons. Don't let them get the best of you. What I would say to you is 'fake it till you make it'. Wake up tomorrow and play the part of a confident, energetic, fun guy... until you become one for real.

Thank you.
I hate and struggle faking.

in my experience with depression and the like, fake it till you make it does not work. faking it in our situation is emotionally and mentally, and yes, even physically, exhausting. you really have no idea until you've had to do it when your brain just doesn't match up to what you are asking of it.

confidence in who you are is key, no matter who you are, but confidence in knowing what you need and want is key to getting the things that make you happy.

Thirty Bills Unpaid · January 2018

But you can't just say 'I'm going to be confident' and then you're confident. It's more acquired versus blessed.

Positive self talk, amongst other things, helps you develop. But there is no formula for all people. I just offered a tactic. It's up to the OP whether or not they think they can work through their struggle or not with it.

mcgruff10 · January 2018

So gambs, dirty and I are flying to Australia to help thoughtarrive with the ladies? Is that correct? Shoot me some dates fellas and I ll be sure to get a sitter.

Degeneratefk · January 2018

We all die alone. The clean up isn't the deads problem, is it?

Dying alone

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