Bipolar PJ fans???

124

Comments

  • PJSiren
    PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    Well, we decided to ween me off of everything now so my hubby and I can start trying to have a baby....So in the next couple weeks, I'll be med free....it should be interesting, I hope I can handle it ok...
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • JWPearl
    JWPearl Posts: 19,893
    best wishes to you pjsiren i hope everything turns out ok
    have you done research in what to take naturally like good supplements
    or something so the baby doesnt inherit bipolar..
  • PJSiren
    PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    I haven't done any research yet on supplements, I'm going to because there are a couple I am thinking about taking for my migraines....so I will be checking into them....and will of course get prenatal vitamins....
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • JWPearl
    JWPearl Posts: 19,893
    ;) good stuff
    best wishes to you..
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    PJSiren said:

    Well, we decided to ween me off of everything now so my hubby and I can start trying to have a baby....So in the next couple weeks, I'll be med free....it should be interesting, I hope I can handle it ok...

    I think you should be fine for the short term. Fingers f
    Crossed and prayers said for you!!
  • SD48277
    SD48277 Posts: 12,243
    PJSiren said:

    Well, we decided to ween me off of everything now so my hubby and I can start trying to have a baby....So in the next couple weeks, I'll be med free....it should be interesting, I hope I can handle it ok...

    PJSiren, I wish you the best in your quest for a baby. I hope all goes well for you.
    ELITIST FUK
  • PJSiren
    PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    Thanks guys! :)
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    PJSiren said:

    Thanks guys! :)

    We can't wait to get to meet the" next little PJ fan"!!
  • oftenreading
    oftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,856
    PJSiren - wishing you the absolute best of luck with this.

    Make sure you run any supplements by your doctor - no matter what anybody says, "natural" is not equivalent to "harmless", particularly when dealing with a pregnancy. (And unfortunately, there is nothing you can take to change your genetics, so nothing will alter the odds of inheritance of any particular genes).
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • PJSiren
    PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    Yes, I will....and I know, I can only hope and pray I don't pass my bipolar along to the little one....

    Thanks! :)
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • PJSiren
    PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    So I started my lower doses of meds yesterday, that's the beginning of the weening process...it should only take 2-3 weeks to ween off of all of them completely....
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    PJSiren said:

    So I started my lower doses of meds yesterday, that's the beginning of the weening process...it should only take 2-3 weeks to ween off of all of them completely....

    So excited for you!
  • rollings
    rollings unknown Posts: 7,127
    this is me and chad in the tub without our medicine.

    http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/lorne-and-tom-in-a-tub-rubber-duck/17wzdgi9d




































































    I'm the little duck
  • ledvedderman
    ledvedderman Posts: 7,762
    Bump for this thread for any new members we may have. Bipolar II here.

    Here's a question for you guys. I've been struggling with this in my mind the last six months or so.

    Where is the line between symptoms of the disease end and making excuses for poor behavior begin? I made some poor choices in my marriage that lead to my divorce. Backstory, I was diagnosed bipolar years before my marriage but it scared me and I didn't seek the proper help. So now, looking back, I look at the poor choices I made and know that without mania or hyper sexuality, those mistakes would not have been made. I can look back on a time period, remember what I was feeling and think, "wow that's a slam dunk mania cycle" or "that's depression". When I do that though, I fear that I'm making excuses. It's a very tricky thought to have.
    Where does an illness end and making excuses begin?
    E8toX.gif

    http://www.reverbnation.com/brianzilm
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    ledvedd, that's a valid and quite insightful question which may, in itself, offer insight for you? I'm in no way qualified to offer anything other than good thoughts you find your way through, and if you've been working with someone along your road, you seek them out again, if just to release and maybe get objective feedback.

    I'm so not one to talk, but then again? Know that forgiving yourself (and learning from what you even need to forgive yourself for) brings some relief. Comes a time where beating yourself up is fruitless.

    Again, best wishes to you.

  • ledvedderman
    ledvedderman Posts: 7,762
    Thanks. I really appreciate it. Forgiving myself is, 6+ years later, still a hard thing to do. My therapist has said many times that she has never seen someone still feel so bad so long over what happened. I deal with crazy guilt.
    I think I'll ask her my question though like you suggested. Thanks
    E8toX.gif

    http://www.reverbnation.com/brianzilm
  • what dreams
    what dreams Posts: 1,761
    ledvedderman said:

    Bump for this thread for any new members we may have. Bipolar II here.

    Here's a question for you guys. I've been struggling with this in my mind the last six months or so.

    Where is the line between symptoms of the disease end and making excuses for poor behavior begin? I made some poor choices in my marriage that lead to my divorce. Backstory, I was diagnosed bipolar years before my marriage but it scared me and I didn't seek the proper help. So now, looking back, I look at the poor choices I made and know that without mania or hyper sexuality, those mistakes would not have been made. I can look back on a time period, remember what I was feeling and think, "wow that's a slam dunk mania cycle" or "that's depression". When I do that though, I fear that I'm making excuses. It's a very tricky thought to have.
    Where does an illness end and making excuses begin?

    You're not making excuses. You now have a conscience about what you did while you were ill. That should tell you that you would not have behaved the same had you been treated at the time.

    Forgive yourself. A patient treated for brain cancer doesn't blame himself for all his past headaches or his not remembering things or his needing to sleep the day away. It was the cancer. You did not have the impulse control of a mentally well person. Unfortunately for people like us, a symptom of our disease involves risky, pleasure seeking behavior with no regards to the people we hurt in the moment. As you continue treatment, you will grow more confident that that person is not who you really are -- because you won't behave that way anymore. That's how you will know you're not making excuses.

    I'm not sure how far along you are in your treatment. I wish you much success. Stay on the meds, especially when you don't feel like you need them anymore. I have also found that living a pretty structured life with a regular sleep routine makes all the difference. I start to get off balance whenever there's a disruption in my sleep pattern. It makes for a somewhat boring life, but after years and years of ups and downs, I have learned to love boring.
  • ledvedderman
    ledvedderman Posts: 7,762
    Wow. Thanks for that. That was really well put. A great way of looking at it.
    I'm about 6 1/2 years into treatment. Been on too many medication combinations to count. I see a therapist weekly and a psychiatrist monthly. I've been in the hospital a couple of times and am on my third go around of disability from my job.
    I'm honestly at the point where I think my brain is slipping on account of all the meds over the years. Driving is impossible, my memory is foggy at best, I have paranoia at night of the craziest things...it is quite scary.
    E8toX.gif

    http://www.reverbnation.com/brianzilm
  • what dreams
    what dreams Posts: 1,761
    I'm sorry to hear you're still suffering.

    I take Depakote, and have had great success with it. I was fortunate in that my very first psychiatrist was also an excellent MD who understands pharmacology. I remember her first words about medication: "I don't believe in cocktails." Lamictal was another one she recommended, but the potentially deadly rash side effect steered me away from that one. In my first six months of treatment, she required that I keep a mood journal every day to track every feeling I had. It helped me identify patterns that I could then change, like the sleep thing I mentioned. Also, I had to pretty much quit drinking alcohol. I tried to deny that was an issue, but it quickly became clear that it was a mood destabilizer. I'll have some wine or beer now and then, but for the most part I don't drink the way I did. Pot makes me depressed, too, if I use it chronically (which I can do :blush:), so I don't keep it in the house anymore either.

    Have you ever tried yoga and meditation to supplement your therapy? I've especially increased my mindfulness practice lately, and in just two months, I'm noticing huge differences in the way I react to people and situations.

    I guess my point is -- Don't give up. Ever.
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    what dreams said:

    ledvedderman said:

    Bump for this thread for any new members we may have. Bipolar II here.

    Here's a question for you guys. I've been struggling with this in my mind the last six months or so.

    Where is the line between symptoms of the disease end and making excuses for poor behavior begin? I made some poor choices in my marriage that lead to my divorce. Backstory, I was diagnosed bipolar years before my marriage but it scared me and I didn't seek the proper help. So now, looking back, I look at the poor choices I made and know that without mania or hyper sexuality, those mistakes would not have been made. I can look back on a time period, remember what I was feeling and think, "wow that's a slam dunk mania cycle" or "that's depression". When I do that though, I fear that I'm making excuses. It's a very tricky thought to have.
    Where does an illness end and making excuses begin?

    You're not making excuses. You now have a conscience about what you did while you were ill. That should tell you that you would not have behaved the same had you been treated at the time.

    Forgive yourself. A patient treated for brain cancer doesn't blame himself for all his past headaches or his not remembering things or his needing to sleep the day away. It was the cancer. You did not have the impulse control of a mentally well person. Unfortunately for people like us, a symptom of our disease involves risky, pleasure seeking behavior with no regards to the people we hurt in the moment. As you continue treatment, you will grow more confident that that person is not who you really are -- because you won't behave that way anymore. That's how you will know you're not making excuses.

    I'm not sure how far along you are in your treatment. I wish you much success. Stay on the meds, especially when you don't feel like you need them anymore. I have also found that living a pretty structured life with a regular sleep routine makes all the difference. I start to get off balance whenever there's a disruption in my sleep pattern. It makes for a somewhat boring life, but after years and years of ups and downs, I have learned to love boring.
    Excellent advice. Also there is a huge difference between what I had said about cheaters in another thread, and what you went through. So, I apologize if that came out wrong to you when I said that. Here is the difference. ( and I know this because I have had BPII since I was 4, only back then they called it Manic Depression). When one executes bad behavior it is a conscious choice. When we make a bad choice in a manic state, we are operating on the chemical level of a bomb blasted meth head. A
    So it is not a choice we can hold against ourselves. What Dreams is correct, you have to forgive yourself, or you won't be able to move on. Wishing you the best man!

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