Bleeding

well this is not a poem or story or anything. it is a letter that i have written to friends and fans of our band. thought i would share it here, in case anybody wanted to read it that does not know about my band's website...

11/11/13

Dear friends,

Hello!! We hope that you are doing well and adapting well to the time change. I'm not used to these short days yet.... It’s been awhile since I have sat down to update everyone on the band. I have a lot to cover, so pull up a chair, pour yourself a drink, maybe put your feet up, and make yourself comfortable.

We have been busy preparing ourselves for what is going to probably be the most important show of our career. On Saturday November 30, we will be celebrating our tenth anniversary of being a gigging band. We are playing at Mile 277, and the show starts at 9:00. At the moment, we are going through our past catalog and picking songs from the past ten years to re-learn and play on that night. We are also learning some new songs to debut that night as well. When picking old songs to bring back, there is a lot to consider. Some of the songs have special meaning to the guys in the band. Some of them are songs that we like that are sort of obscure that you don’t hear bands play that often. And some have sentimental value to us. We are re-learning the first song that we ever played together in my basement way back in 2002.

Wow. Ten years. Who would have thought that when we started getting together in my basement in 2002 that we would be a gigging band for ten years? Certainly not me. Given the number of bands that get together, practice for a few months and flame out before they ever get ten gigs, I did not think we would be doing this for as long as we have. It has taken a lot of hard work, dedication, and a little bit of luck to get to this point.

Ten years is a long time, and a lot has changed since then. Ten years ago, a gallon of gas cost $1.89. Ten years ago the Concorde was retired. Ten years ago the Green River Killer was brought to justice. Ten years ago Kobe Bryant was arrested on sexual abuse charges, as was Michael Jackson. Ten years ago, we went to war in Iraq. A lot has happened in the subsequent ten years. Also, ten years ago, a little band called Glorious Blue was playing its very first show at Jordan Creek in Springfield, MO. It was the first of what would become a few hundred shows. We have had a lot of great shows, even more great times, and we have met so many great people along the way.

We have gotten to play the biggest and best rooms in St. Louis. We have played most of the casinos, we have played Jerry Springer’s Birthday Party, we have played numerous outdoor festivals, we have played Busch Stadium twice, and we have even played in the Edward Jones Dome. We have played New Year’s Eve six times. We played a show the night the Cardinals clinched the World Series in 2011. We have had people meet at our shows, hook up, get engaged, and we have played their weddings. I never thought we would have gotten to do any of that stuff. We have played a few corporate gigs here and there as well.

Perhaps the thing that we are the most proud of, is what we have been able to do as a band for charity. Over the years we have donated our time and our talents to raise money for some important charities. I think that collectively, the five of us have been able to accomplish more than any of us could have done as individuals. We have played several shows to help raise money for the Mark Munsell Memorial Foundation. We have played Earth Hour. We have played the St. Baldrick’s Fundraisers on a few occasions, which raised money for childhood cancer research. But I think what we are probably most proud of, was organizing and playing a benefit for Hurricane Katrina Relief. In August, 2005, we teamed up with Helen Fitzgerald’s and 105.7 The Point and we played at Helen’s that night, which was the Saturday following the storm. The Point promoted that show and interviewed a couple of us live on the air. We donated the money we made, which back then was a substantial amount, and Helen’s donated some money from the door and some from their sales, and we passed around collection buckets and people dropped whatever they could into those buckets. All told, by the end of the night we had raised over $5000, which we took straight to the American Red Cross to benefit those hit by Hurricane Katrina. In the scheme of things, that is not a large amount of money, but for the five of us, it made us feel like we were able to help out in some small way. We were able to give back, and that is what it is all about.

Being in a band for ten years is a lot like maintaining a marriage with four other people. We are all different. We all like different things. We are all at different points in our lives. We all have different priorities now. We all like different kinds of music, but we all view the band the same. We have learned that it is not about what the individual wants. It is all about what is best for the band. I know personally I have learned that it is all about “giving it up”. It is not about being selfish, because the band is more than one guy. It is five guys with common goals and a common vision. That is the key to making a band last. Also the important things like mutual love and respect for one another goes a long way as well, but at the end of the day it is the common goal and common vision and doing what it takes to accomplish those things. I think what has set our band apart from the rest is that we have never been afraid to take risks. We have never shied away from playing a song because it might not go over well. We used to play a lot of songs that were not popular. We have always trusted the audience to have the ability to know a good song, even if they had never heard it before. And our audience has always been able to do that. We did not always pick the low hanging fruit and play a crappy song just because we knew it would go over. That would have been too easy. And part of being in a band is taking that challenge of getting everyone in the audience to have as much fun as we were up on that stage. Sometimes it didn’t work out like that, but the majority of the time it did. I mean, really. Ten years ago did anybody think we would be playing not one song, but three songs that feature a ukulele? We didn’t… But thanks for the support and for going along with us on that one…We are booking into 2014 already, and we are going to keep playing as long as it is fun for us, and as long as all of you people show up to see a show.

There are so many people who have helped us out along the way the last ten years. I am going to thank many of them now, and I apologize in advance if I have forgotten anybody. First off, we want to thank Paul Farwig for giving us our big break back in 2003. He is the guy who “discovered” us and got us our first run of shows. We would like to thank Laura Kochan and the staff at LaDeDa Entertainment for booking us for a few years. We would also like to thank Dave Kalz at American Bands, and his staff for being our current booking agent and for all of the patience, firefighting, and all of the help and guidance the last few years. It has been a great ride.

We want to thank the ownership and management and staff at the following establishments for letting us play their venues and for taking such good care of us: Syberg’s Westport, Mile 277, Helen Fitzgerald’s. Kirkwood Station Brewing Company, Sky Music Lounge, Trainwreck Westport, Beale St. Pub, The Phoenix, the organizers of Centennial Days in Crystal City, the organizers of Arnold Days, the organizers of St. Baldrick’s, the organizers of Earth Hour, and the Mark Munsell Memorial Foundation.

You can’t have a band without all of the people that make you sound good and look cool. These are the sound engineers and the lighting people. We would like to thank Jake Tucker, Brian Shabozz, Jerry Boschert, Colin and their staff, and any other sound/production people that have worked with us over the years. Thanks for taking care of us and making us sound better than we probably are…

When you are in a band that has been around for awhile it is inevitable that you will meet and become friendly with some guys in other bands in the scene. We want to give a shout out to our friends Mark, Jerry, John, and Kevin from Joe Dirt, and also to Kevin and Dr. Nick and the rest of the guys in Johnny Rockitt, and also to Ray, Sal, Sean, and Lodell from Extremely Pointless. These bands have been around a little while longer than we have and over the years we have shared bills with all of these guys. Some of them acted as kind of like a big brothers to us, and we are thankful for that. We are honored to be their peers, but we are even more honored to be their friends.

We want to thank Vance Stewart at Webants Design for maintaining our website for so many years, before Bill took over. Also thanks to Mark Mitchell for all of the early work on our numerous websites and for all of the promotional work he did for us over the early years.

Thanks also to Dave Hinson, Mark, Matt, and Jimmy at Killer Vintage for selling us all of the gear that we have no business owning and for helping us out by repairing the guitars that we break. Also thanks to Obeid for fixing the amps that we have blown up over the years.

We want to give an extra special thanks to all of our families, wives, girlfriends, friends, and fans for all of their support over the years. Without them, this thing would have probably fizzled out a long time ago. Without your support early on, and your attendance at all of those early shows, we would have never had some of the big doors open to us. Where we are now is a direct result of your support, and not to mention, your voracious appetite for booze. I think based on liquor sales alone we were given that initial run of 20 shows, so we thank your livers for that.

Lastly, we want to thank Shawn Snelson, our founding bass player for all of his contributions and his hard work and dedication and for everything he did for us. We also want to thank Bill Wilke for stepping in and taking over for Shawn two years ago. He has been a breath of fresh air and his ideas and attitude and drive have been essential in helping us continue on and keep this train rolling, hopefully for years to come.

So as you can see, we have a lot to be thankful for this year. We have done a lot, but we owe so many people for our success. Ten years. It has gone by as fast as ten months. It has been a crazy ride. Good times, bad times, uncertain times. We have experienced it all. And as a group we have gotten through it all. Personally, I want to thank the rest of the guys, Andy, Ray, Bill, and Jud, for their friendship and their support and their patience in dealing with my quirks and for standing by me after mistakes that I have made. You all are really my brothers from other mothers, and there is nobody that I would rather be making music with. You guys are awesome.

Well that is all for now. Please join us at Mile 277 on November 30 for our tenth anniversary show. It is going to be a blast. It is a party that has been ten years in the making. Come out and help us celebrate this milestone. Hope to see all of you there.

On behalf of Bill, Andy, Ray, and Jud,

Cheers!!!


Rod


here is a pic of me playing at Springer's birthday party in November 2006. It was 35 degrees outside and we froze our asses off. i was over 40 lbs heavier at that time and was a big fatass. I like this pic because you can see the arch in the background... good times...

11/14/13


played guitar for hours last night.
tried to write something,
anything.
but i had nothing to say.
i had a line here and there,
but nothing that went together.
i had the words
floating aimlessly,
randomly,
in my head,
but i could not bring them out.
no matter what i tried,
it didn't work.
i wrote a good melody,
but was out of sync
with the metronome.
i had a theme,
sort of...
i could not find a line,
i could not find the time,
couldn't find the rhyme.
the metronome
keeps the time.
it is always right.
it is constant,
consistent.
like a resting heartbeat.
click,
click,
click,
lub dub,
lub dub,
lub dub...
constant,
like the ticking of a clock.
tick
tick
tick.
you play on beat,
you have a rock song.
you play the off beat,
you have reggae.
you play in between,
you have a clusterfuck.
writer's block.
sometimes you've got nothing.
its like you wait all night,
to get hit with that bolt
of inspiration,
and nothing happens...
last night was one of those nights.
tonight is a new night.
a new chance,
to say something.
a new chance,
to create something
from nothing.

justam wrote:

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

11/14/13


played guitar for hours last night.
tried to write something,
anything.
but i had nothing to say.
i had a line here and there,
but nothing that went together.
i had the words
floating aimlessly,
randomly,
in my head,
but i could not bring them out.
no matter what i tried,
it didn't work.
i wrote a good melody,
but was out of sync
with the metronome.
i had a theme,
sort of...
i could not find a line,
i could not find the time,
couldn't find the rhyme.
the metronome
keeps the time.
it is always right.
it is constant,
consistent.
like a resting heartbeat.
click,
click,
click,
lub dub,
lub dub,
lub dub...
constant,
like the ticking of a clock.
tick
tick
tick.
you play on beat,
you have a rock song.
you play the off beat,
you have reggae.
you play in between,
you have a clusterfuck.
writer's block.
sometimes you've got nothing.
its like you wait all night,
to get hit with that bolt
of inspiration,
and nothing happens...
last night was one of those nights.
tonight is a new night.
a new chance,
to say something.
a new chance,
to create something
from nothing.

I like this one.

thank you!!

justam wrote:

You're very welcome!

i have no motivation.
none.
so many things i need to do tonight.
it's already after 11.
i started packing
but didn't finish.
i did laundry.
it is still sitting
unfolded in the basket.
i checked in for my flight,
but have not printed the
boarding pass.
i filled the sink to wash dishes.
the water is now cold,
dishes are still in the sink.
the soap is dissolved.
i started reading a book.
i got 20 pages in
and set it down.
i started to reply
to some PMs.
I didn't finish them...
i made some calls,
but did not finish the conversations.
i still have not arranged
a ride to the airport.

"what the fuck, man??
get it together!!
you are gonna have
the time of your life!!"

maybe that is what
i am afraid of....

catefrances wrote:

yeah dude get it together. :P

oh i rallied, and had an amazing time. one of the best trips of my life. got some decent writing in as well, so that was cool too.

observations of an airline passenger....

11/24/2013


i always hate,
waiting at the gate.
seats full all around you.
people with their books,
small bags,
electronic tablets,
cell phones, etc.
everyone will be going
to the same place for a short time.
then we disperse
and go on to our
final destinations,
whatever they may be
this time around.
this time,
i am flying back to missouri.
or misery, as i like to refer to it.

i like to look at people
and try to figure out their story.
where are they going?
what led them to this place,
this airport, this flight,
at this particular time?
are they traveling for work?
for fun?
or for some other form
of personal business?

i hate when adjoining gates
share the same small
number of chairs.
there are never enough seats,
until one of the two planes
begins to board.
people are sitting on the floor,
backs up against the wall.
i can tell they are pissed.
they were late to the gate.
i've been there, done that.
i've gotten the sciatica to prove it.
people are making small talk
with one another.
i try not to eavesdrop.
sometimes people
annoy me with their talking.
asking me questions
about me,
my life,
my nonexistent family...
as if they give a fuck or something.
why do we always do that?
most times i just listen to them,
and wait for them to stop talking.
i enjoy silence sometimes.
the older i get, i realize
that silence is in short supply.
a commodity that is hard to come by,
and hard to maintain.
it evaporates quickly.
now i know how my parents felt
when we were kids.
they never got the silence they wanted.

i see a young mom
holding a baby.
she was a late arrival.
she is standing against a wall,
no place to sit.
i offer her my chair.
she declined, saying
"no thank you, i will just stand."
she was frustrated by the situation.
i don't blame her.
i stood up and insisted.
she finally said yes.
what the fuck, man??
you offer to help someone
and they turn it down.
was she trying to be polite?
was she being disingenuous?
did she really want to stand there
and hold that large baby?
did she think i expected
something from her in return?
can a guy not just be
chivalrous these days?

I'm standing now.
holding my carry on bag
and notebook.
we board soon,
i can make it.
the other plane begins to board.
more seats available now.
see, it works out.
i am flying alone.
it's just me.
i remember a time when
friends and family could
meet you at your gate
when you arrived.
it's been at least
a decade since those days.
it was always nice to have
someone there to meet you
when you got there, back to them.
i imagine it is a lot like
seeing your wife or girlfriend
when you get home
from a long day at the office.

tonight my plane is full.
the boarding process
is always a clusterfuck.
i see people struggling
to stow their bags
into overhead bins
that are nowhere close to their seats.
i got the aisle seat again.
damn it.
at least i am on the right side of the aisle
so people do not bump my
right elbow as i am trying to write.

the guy next to me,
in a southern drawl
introduces himself to me
as "billy, from birmingham".
we exchange pleasantries.
he is flying to DC.
he was visiting phoenix
and his flight to DC
connects in st louis.
he said he is going there
on a mission
"to protest that coon in our white house..."
he said that with such pride and conviction.
i was aghast.
all i kept thinking was
"way to uphold that stereotype
of the south, there billy boy..."
i remember wondering
under my breath, partly aloud,
"they still MAKE people like you???"

there were a thousand things
i wanted to say to this guy.
instead,
i wished him luck at his protest thing.
rather than trying to have a rational debate
with this irrational person,
i excused myself.
i went to the restroom,
returned to my seat
and sat back down.
he wanted to continue the conversation.
i simply
plugged my ear buds into my phone
and pretended to fall asleep.
the racist and i
sat there in perfect silence,
as we were both
carried off into the moonlight.

catefrances wrote:

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

i remember a time when
friends and family could
meet you at your gate
when you arrived.

here we can still do that.

there you still get to do a lot of things...

first major holiday
without you here.
i remember spending
thanksgiving at your mom's house
when we were kids.
seems funny now
knowing that is never
going to happen again.
i listened to one of your songs
earlier today.
sounded like you were
in the same room as me.
i miss you.
but i am oddly
at peace with your passing.
i didn't think i would
be able to accept it
in such a short time.
i am so very thankful
that we got to make amends
before you had to go.

tired of wasting time
doing the wrong things
with the wrong people.
from now on,
if anybody wants
my time or
my attention or
my affection
they had better be
off-the-charts
exceptional.